McKenna Homecoming (4 page)

He stayed where he was. The smartest thing to do was put Leah out of his mind, once and for all. The problem? He’d never forgotten Leah and he never would.

Leah pushed the pile of papers to the side. “I’m too old to start college, Aunt Bea.”

Her aunt settled in the seat across from her at the scarred maple table that had sat in Bea’s kitchen for as long as Leah could remember. Aunt Bea was a tall, wiry woman with short gray hair and a penchant for bright colors. “You’re never too old. Heck, your uncle Joe started when he was seventy. Didn’t graduate until he was ninety, but hey, he went.”

Leah laughed. “I’m hoping I don’t have to be on a twenty-year plan. Besides, I’m not even sure I want to go to college. I came back here to start over, but the trouble is figuring out where to begin.”

“What about the book you were working on? Where are you with that?”

Alec had asked her the same thing at the reunion. The great American novel that Leah had started in high school, so sure she’d finish it during college, send it out and become a famous novelist. Then her life had detoured and the book had been relegated to the back of a closet, pulled out once in a while when she’d get a bug to write. She’d hammer out a few pages, then put it back, absorbed again in the demands of her family.

But really, Leah admitted to herself, Alec was right. Her delay had been more about fear than time. If she finished the book, she’d have to send it out, and after putting her dream on hold for ten years, her doubts kept getting in the way of that final step.

Damn it, she was tired of that. Tired of letting fear rule her decisions. No more. “It’s nearly done. But—”

“But nothing. You get yourself up there, finish that baby and send it out into the world.” Aunt Bea shooed at Leah.

“Okay, okay. You’re right. I will.” Leah got to her feet, grabbing a couple of cookies from the dish on the table. Then she gave her aunt a hug. “Thanks for the pep talk.”

Aunt Bea’s soft hand covered Leah’s. “Anytime, honey. You know you did an incredible thing going out there and taking care of your dad. But you deserve to live for yourself now.”

“I agree,” Leah said. Starting today, she was going to do exactly that.

The doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” Leah said, waving her aunt back into her chair. “It’s probably the mailman.”

But as she approached the beveled oval of glass in Aunt Bea’s front door, she could tell it wasn’t the mailman standing on the other side. The tall, lean, dark-haired figure was someone she hadn’t expected to see again. Her heart skipped a beat and a breath caught in her throat. She opened the door, and forced herself not to run a hand through her hair or worry about her makeup. “Alec. What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.” He grinned. “You said you were staying at your aunt’s, so I took a chance that you’d be here.”

“Is that Alec McKenna?” Aunt Bea said from behind Leah. “Oh, my, you’ve gotten so tall! Come on in, have some cookies.”

“Don’t mind if I do, Miss Bea.” Alec gave a nod in Leah’s direction. “If that’s okay with you.”

Leah debated saying no and sending him on his way, but the part of her that hadn’t forgotten that kiss at the reunion overruled her objections. Besides, Aunt Bea had always liked Alec and surely missed seeing him around here. He’d been a constant staple in her aunt’s home during high school. Yeah, that was exactly why she opened the door wider. “Sure. Come on in.”

He stepped past her, and the scent of his cologne—dark, woodsy—curled around her and tempted her to draw closer. He crossed to Aunt Bea and gave her a hug. “Haven’t seen you in quite a while, Miss Bea. How have you been?”

She smiled and ruffled his hair—she was probably the only person on the planet who could do that to the adult Alec. “Just fine. And better now that my favorite adopted nephew has come to visit.”

He chuckled. They exchanged small talk for a while, then Aunt Bea claimed she had housework upstairs and left the two of them alone. A ruse, Leah was sure, but she went along with it anyway. She led Alec into the kitchen, poured him a cup of coffee and made tea for herself, then slid the plate of cookies over to him. “You want to sit outside? It’s a gorgeous day.”

He nodded and followed her out to the back porch. They settled on the concrete stoop, mugs between them. Birds chirped in the warm air, celebrating the end of the rain. The sun peeked past a few fluffy clouds, and dropped a golden wash over the grass, trees, flowers. “You ran out on me,” Alec said.

“We can’t keep retreading this ground, Alec.” If she got involved with him again, she’d be repeating her past. All she’d done for the past ten years was stand in place. Going back in time would be even worse. Her plan was to move forward.

“We aren’t retreading the same ground, Leah. We aren’t even on the track yet. You keep derailing us.” He shook his head and braced his elbows on his knees. “I can understand why you’re reluctant to trust me. When we were together before, I let you down. I’m sorry.”

Tears welled in her eyes, blurred her vision. She’d thought she was over that, over the whole event, until Alec’s heartfelt confession and his second apology in two days. “Th-thank you.”

He took her hand in both of his. “When you asked me to go with you to California, I panicked. I saw my life becoming this endless loop of hospitals and caretaking, being the one you depended on, the responsible one. I was only eighteen and had never had any experience with responsibility. I wasn’t ready for all that.” He lifted his eyes to hers. “At least that’s what I told myself. And you.”

“It was true, though. I asked way too much of you.”

“No. I expected too little of myself.” His gaze went to the lawn, and he squinted against the bright sun. “I couldn’t be there for you because

” He let out a long breath. “Because I was scared.”

“Scared? You?” She thought of the strong football player who had charged down the field. “Of what?”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment. The birds chirped, the breeze rustled the trees and a lawnmower droned in the background. “Of everything I always ran away from.”

Then he turned back to Leah and finally told her the whole truth.

The words poured from Alec in a fast, steady stream, held inside him for too many years. Words he’d never spoken, truths he’d never faced. “My mother got sick when I was five. Breast cancer. My father hired the best doctors, brought her to the best hospitals. He raised a fit in every treatment room, sure the doctors were missing something. I remember standing on the other side of the room, next to my mother, listening to my father rant while my mother’s breath got slower, slower. He didn’t even notice because he was too busy yelling and being demanding.” He shook his head, but the images stayed. “A few days later, she was gone, and you know what my father did?” He didn’t wait for Leah to respond. “He sued the hospital and the doctors, then he went out and got drunk and started dating anything female under thirty.”

“Oh, Alec, that’s terrible.” She laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“From that day forward, it was as if she never existed. He blew the family money, and when I came of age, so did I. Both of us, using money and bars and women to forget and push away the guilt and grief. My father couldn’t get past it, and neither could I. But all that baggage from the past was just waiting in the background, coming to light at the worst moment.”

“When I asked you to come with me when my father got sick.”

“It brought everything up again—the hospitals, the fear, feeling that I’d failed. So I bailed, and let you down.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “You wanted me to be responsible, dependable, and no one had ever expected anything more of me than a touchdown. It scared the hell out of me, so I told you to go alone. I’m so sorry, Leah.”

“I had no idea, Alec. I thought you were just being

“

“Irresponsible. Selfish. Pick an adjective.”

A light laugh escaped her. “I didn’t say any of that. But I was hurt.”

“And believed the worst of me for ten years.” He reached up and brushed a tendril of hair away from her brow. “I’m not the same man I used to be, Leah. A few months ago, my father got into a car accident, and when I saw him in the hospital, already making plans for his next date instead of facing the choices that put him in that hospital bed, I realized that I was in serious danger of becoming him. I want more now. I want us again.”

She let out a gust of breath and got to her feet. Her hair turned to gold under the sunlight, but her green eyes held shadows and doubts. “Oh, Alec, I barely know what I’m doing from day to day.”

“You’re feeling lost, adrift. Am I right?”

She shrugged, but he could see the words had hit their mark.

“That’s how I felt before my grandmother made her offer. I realized I’d spent ten years doing nothing but spending the family money and meeting only the lowest of expectations. When she gave me the job at McKenna Media, my first instinct was to turn her down, to stay in that comfort zone. The first two weeks I spent there were the worst. No one took me seriously, everyone thought I was just placating my grandmother so she’d keep bankrolling my life. But then I buckled down and put in the hours, and people started looking at me differently. It’s been an uphill battle, and one hell of a learning curve, but for the first time in my life, I have direction, Leah. A purpose.”

“I’m glad for you, I really am. You were always so much smarter and more capable than you thought.”

He smiled. “You always saw the best in me.”

She raised a shoulder, let it drop. “That’s the job of a girlfriend.”

“I’ve had girlfriends and none of them ever believed in me the way you did.” He stood, took her hands in his, and looked down into her wide green eyes. Damn, he loved those eyes, that smile. He always had. “That’s what someone in love sees. The best of the person standing before them. It’s what I’m seeing right now.”

She opened her mouth, closed it. “Alec, we haven’t been together in ten years, and—”

“And I was too stupid to realize what I had back then. Now I know better, and I know how I feel. How I’ve always felt.”

“You can’t do this. I

I can’t

” She backed up, breaking their contact. The grass flattened under her feet as she put distance between them. “I have to go in. I promised my aunt I’d take her shopping.”

He nodded, not letting his disappointment and hurt show. He’d tried, more than once, to get through to Leah, to reach her heart again. And he’d failed. The realization sliced his heart.

“Maybe it’s too late,” he said, the words ripping past his throat. “Maybe too many years have gone by. I wish you luck, Leah, in whatever you do.” Then he pressed one last kiss to her lips before he walked away.

She was insane.

Leah stood in her aunt’s yard for a solid ten minutes after Alec left, warring with herself. She thought of all the things she had started and not finished over the past ten years, and all the excuses she had held on to, because that was easier than facing her fears. There was no age limit for college, for following her dreams, for going after what she wanted. She was the only thing standing in her way.

And she didn’t want to do that anymore.

She’d vowed to change when her father had died, but when the scary moment had come, she’d retreated. Again. That was no way to reclaim her life, to move forward.

Aunt Bea opened the back door and poked her head out. “Is Alec gone?”

Leah nodded.

“It’s so nice to see that young man again. I used to think you two would get married.” Aunt Bea sighed. “Ah, well, life throws you curveballs and sometimes you just have to find your own way to get from first to home.”

Leah laughed. “What’s that mean?”

A mysterious smile curved across her elderly aunt’s face. “You’ll figure it out, I’m sure. You always were a smart girl. Always knew the right answer.” Then she brightened. “So, do you want to go shopping? Or is there

something else you need to do?”

Leah’s gaze went to the side gate, the same one that Alec had used a little while earlier. “There is one thing I have to do first. But I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“Take your time,” Aunt Bea said. “Some things need a little time to make right.” Then she ducked inside and shut the door.

Leah raced out to the street, but Alec’s car was gone, and so was he. Disappointment filled her. She stood there a moment, so sure it was too late. She’d lost him.

Then she took one step to the right, another, and soon she was hurrying down the sidewalk, detouring onto a well-worn path that cut through the woods at the back of her aunt’s neighborhood, her steps increasing with every passing second until she emerged in a clearing.

The soft gurgle of a stream reached her ears first, chased by the lazy call of crickets and the sweet melody of nesting birds. She rounded the corner, and there, sitting on a wide, flat rock at the side of the creek, was Alec. Her heart leaped.

“Somehow, I knew you’d be here,” she said.

He turned, and a smile burst across his face. “It used to be our favorite spot.”

She skirted the low-growing ferns and took a seat on the opposite side of the rock. The water below tempted her, and she kicked off her shoes and dipped her toes into the cool stream. “I came home a few times in the past couple of years to visit Aunt Bea, and at least once during each visit, I found myself here. Partly to think, and partly to see—” she gave him a smile, and with a leap of faith, decided to be honest with him and take a chance “—if you would be here.”

“You missed me,” he said.

She nodded. “I thought about you a thousand times. I wondered if you had met someone else, if you had moved on—”

“I’ve never met anyone like you, Leah.” His blue eyes held honesty, sincerity. “And I’ve never forgotten you.”

“When I saw you again at the reunion, it scared me, even though it’s what I’ve wanted for so long.” She let out a long breath. “You weren’t the only one who bailed that day at graduation. I did, too, on us.”

“Leah—”

She put up a hand to stop him. “I did. To be honest, I was glad you didn’t come with me, because I was so in love with you, and I was afraid that if we went to California together, we’d end up living together or married. Committed.”