Me (13 page)

Oftentimes people ask me what I think made the success of “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” Even though part of it was that the world was ready for something new, more than anything, I think that all of the pieces were perfectly in place. I had a wonderful agent, an excellent record label, and a fantastic production team, and all of us were tapped into the same frequency and the same mantra of winning as we moved forward. And in addition to that, I had a great album in my hands; when I listen to it today, I realize what an amazing production it really is, and in the end, that’s really what is most important:
the music
. Music can transcend borders and break down barriers between people and cultures. In this case, it spoke for itself.

I would go so far as to say that during the process of recording the song we actually made magic. For “Livin’ La Vida Loca” I had the good fortune of working once again with Draco Rosa and Desmond Child. Although I had made several records, I quickly realized that working with Desmond Child is working at an entirely new level. Desmond is a musical giant: He has sold 300 million records; he has worked with Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Cher, all the greats. When it comes to recording, Desmond has a certain dynamic and unique sense of focus: He somehow turns the process of recording into something structured and systematic, which gave us great calm, because this way we didn’t get tired and could allow the creative process to flow. We would start the day by doing vocal warm-ups. Then we would eat something. Then we would do some recording. Then we’d go out for a stroll. And then we’d come back for a cup of coffee. Every day I knew what to expect, and that helped me a lot because I could focus my thoughts on my creativity, as opposed to wasting them on the uncertainty of what’s going to happen tomorrow, or the day after. It was also the first time Draco ever worked with Desmond, and there was something about that collaboration among the three of us—the cosmos, the moment, the risks that were taken—that made for extraordinary results. And even today “Livin’ La Vida Loca” is one of the songs I am most proud of.

When I think back on the months that followed the album’s release, what I remember is work, work, and more work. The wave that had started to grow with “María” and
“La Copa de la Vida”
transformed into something gigantic. I had to gather all my strength to make videos, go on a promotional tour, put on a show, and dedicate myself day and night to promote it. We planned three months of shows and events in Japan, Thailand, Australia, France, England, Spain, Puerto Rico, the United States, Canada, and, of course, Mexico. Since my fans were all over the planet, we ultimately made it a world tour that lasted over a year, with two hundred and fifty shows in eighty cities and thirty-five countries.

That year, “Livin’ La Vida Loca” was nominated for four Grammy Awards, putting me at the forefront of the phenomenon that was baptized “the Latino Boom.” It was no longer just about the advancement of my own career; it was now about the new and unexpected presence of Latin music on the global stage. My life would never be the same again.

AFTER THE GRAMMYS it almost seemed like overnight everyone in the United States had awoken and heard the name Ricky Martin for the first time, which was a bit odd, especially when you take into account that
Vuelve
had earned a platinum record in the United States, with more than 1 million copies sold, outselling some of the most famous names in American rock. But this was proof that in those days, for the most part English-speaking Americans had no idea what was going on in the Spanish-speaking music world.

Only two weeks after the album’s release, I appeared on the cover of
Time
magazine, under the headline “Latin Goes POP,” and according to that article, I was at the forefront of a new generation of Latin artists who expressed their culture in English. The article observed—and with reason—that a great part of our success had to do with it being the right time. In other words, the Latino community was growing at a monumental rate in the United States, and this growth was translating into Spanish-language radio stations, television channels, and newspapers. Latin culture was penetrating American culture on every level, and the very fabric of American society was beginning to change. It was in those details that I began to recognize the auspice of my life: Had I been born at any other time, even only ten years before or ten years after, it is possible that I would not have had the same success and my life would have played out very differently. But that’s how my life has always been—things always come at the precise moment that they should, including, apparently, the moment of my birth.

One month later I appeared on the cover of
People
, one of the most popular and powerful entertainment magazines in the United States, with an article that talked about my “instant fame.” Of course, in the eyes of the American media I was someone totally unknown who had just landed on the U.S. musical stage. What they didn’t know was that I had a fifteen-year career under my belt, and that the worldwide recognition I had accomplished—this fame they spoke of, this scary new summit where I now found myself—was a result of a calculated strategy. The promotion of the album was planned by the record label to give the biggest possible push for what they saw as a product: “Ricky Martin.” As Desmond Child once put it: “Ricky is a prince who has been prepared to become a king.”

It has never bothered me that my career had been planned with a very clear strategy in mind. What did bother me at that time was discovering that the media had designated me as the representative for all Latinos. I feel very proud of being Latin, but that certainly does not mean that all Latinos must be like me, nor will they necessarily identify with my music or sense of aesthetics. So from the first moment that my fame started to increase, I felt somehow responsible to break stereotypes and explain to the world that although we come from the same continent, not all Latinos are the same.

There is so much ignorance toward Latin American culture. I have met individuals who, upon hearing that I am Puerto Rican, say: “Yes, of course, Costa Rica!” Or they might look at me and think I’m Italian. When my music began to hit in Europe, I gave a lot of interviews in which I spoke about my culture and how it is manifested in my music. I also took advantage of this opportunity to speak about the differences. For example, in certain parts of the world, some people were shocked to see me show up without a mariachi hat. They believed that everything Latin, from Mexico to Patagonia, is the same and that we all eat tacos and sing
“rancheras”
(typical Mexican songs). So, I would make an effort to explain that Latin America is multifaceted, with many different cultures; even on the same island, you will find several different cultures, accents, musical styles, and rhythms. I cannot say that my music is 100 percent Latin, because it would be an insult to all the rest of the Latino musicians around the world. In Latin America there is salsa, merengue, tango, rock, vallenato, cumbia, son, and many more genres that have developed throughout the continent, and my music is a blend, a fusion, of the various styles since I am not an artist who strictly adheres to one style or another. Of course, my music has Latin influences, but it also has Anglo-Saxon and “europop” influences. So to say that I am a Latin
singer
is okay. But it’s wrong to give my music the all-encompassing label of Latin music, or to imagine that all Latinos are, or sound, like me.

When my music started to become popular in the United States, everything happened at once. Thanks to all my touring and promotions, I was already known around the world as an international artist from Puerto Rico. Before arriving in the United States, I had done a sixty-concert tour, including shows in New Delhi, Bangkok, Seoul, Taipei, Singapore, Malaysia, and Australia. I did shows all over Europe. And everywhere I went I was known as “the international artist.” But when I arrived in the United States, I was “the Latino phenomenon.” I would always go out of my way to say that although I am Latino—something I’m very proud of—I don’t represent all Hispanics, as I am my own version. What some people don’t know is that although I am Latino, I have French, indigenous, and African blood. . . . In truth, I am a mestizo, as most of us are on the American continent. The fact that I am considered Hispanic is a happy coincidence. One part of my family came from Europe and landed in the American northeast, and today they are considered Caucasian. But another side of my family landed on my island, Puerto Rico, and for that reason I was considered “the Latin phenomenon.”

In fact, many Americans, perhaps the majority, know very little about Latin culture and their knowledge is often based on a number of prejudices and preconceptions that are completely wrong. So even though my first cover on
Time
was great, after a while I stopped liking the whole “Latin Goes POP” thing. But to this day, this has made me work hard to project a positive image of Latin culture and show the world that we are more than just a simple label.

MY FAME CONTINUED to grow. Tens of thousands of people showed up when I held an open-air concert in Rockefeller Center in New York as part of NBC’s morning talk show,
Today
. So many people came that they stopped traffic in the center of Manhattan. And there were countless magazine covers and endless attention. I was featured on the cover of
Rolling Stone
swimming in a pool surrounded by naked women; the dream of all rock and pop musicians—it was the ultimate stamp of my success.

That same year, “Livin’ La Vida Loca” received six nominations for MTV Video Music Awards, and on top of that, the song was nominated for three international awards at the same event. In total, I won five of the nine awards for which I was nominated, and once again the public gave me a standing ovation when I sang the song live at the awards show.

From a professional point of view, it was one of the best years of my life. And to conclude it, on my birthday,
Entertainment Weekly
named me artist of the year. I had reached such extraordinary heights that I could even begin to doubt how I could go any higher. Just as I said in an interview during that time, what could I possibly do after this? Climb Mount Everest?

Well, I did not have much time to sit and ponder the question, because the record label quickly informed me that they wanted another album as soon as possible. Now, when I think about it, I realize I should have said no.
Definitely no!
It was too soon and I was not ready to fully immerse myself in the intense creative work needed to record a new album. But I was so busy working and making an effort to do everything I had to do to keep the wheels in motion, maybe I didn’t have the time or the distance to really evaluate what was being asked of me. The label said they would need a new album, so I simply went along.

It was one of the worst decisions of my life.

It was absolute craziness and a very serious mistake. But it was my decision and I decided to go through with it. Some say I should blame my advisers or the record label for pressuring me, but the truth is it was all my fault. This wasn’t Menudo anymore and I was no longer a kid who was being told what to do. I was a grown man and I had been working in the music industry for many years, yet I agreed to do something I did not want to do. The only way to learn in life is by making our own mistakes, and that was one of the mistakes I learned most from.

So we started to prepare the next album in English, called
Sound Loaded.
Every week I had four or five consecutive days of concerts on the “Livin’ La Vida Loca” tour, and after the last show, I got on a plane to return to Miami, where I locked myself up in the studio to record. We worked until the break of day; then I would sleep a bit. I’d wake up and return to the airport to get to the next stop on the tour, right on time to do the sound check for the show. Many of my friends in the industry said this was crazy, that this is not how it was done.

“When you are making a record,” they’d say, “you’re supposed to do only that.”

“Ha!” I would answer. “Who says?” I had done it several times and I was doing it again.

As soon as the concert tour was over, we began the promotional tour for
Sound Loaded
. A typical day began by waking up when my plane from Australia, for example, landed in L.A., where I had to record greetings for radio stations in Orlando, Detroit, Miami, and other major cities. Then I had to give a series of interviews for the press before doing a photo shoot for the magazines. It was a furious schedule that never stopped. Every day began at dawn and ended late at night. I almost never had a free afternoon or morning to simply take it easy. I could barely breathe.

In some ways I felt like the king of the world, and that feeling, although it came with a certain level of exhaustion, was also intoxicating. I liked to feel the power I held in my hands, and above all else, I loved being able to harvest the fruits of our labor of the last fifteen years. But there were also moments when I was afraid of what my new lifestyle could bring. Sometimes I felt I wanted to escape back to my little island and live in a little house on the beach with a hammock facing the ocean, and other times the only thing I wanted was to go out and party, rent out a whole nightclub, invite my friends to dance and flirt with the paparazzi. Every day I would shift between those two extremes: between wanting to escape everything that was going on around me and wanting to give in to it entirely. On the one hand, I felt wonderful and greatly fulfilled; but on the other hand, I was in pain, and the feeling of constant change was driving me crazy.

I believe that very few people around me noticed it, though, because I would do everything I could to hide what was really going on inside me. When people asked me, “Ricky, how are you?” I didn’t even take the time to think about it. I would automatically respond: “I am great, thank you very much.” But the reality was very different. I had a terrible stomachache, my head was spinning, and I felt a tightness in my heart. I didn’t know what I was feeling because I did not take the time to explore it, but what I did know was that I was carrying around a lot, a lot of pain. But I kept saying that everything was okay.