Me & My Boyfriend (14 page)

Laughing over cocktails, Mike gazed deeply into Meesa's eyes.
When she hadn't returned his phone calls, he assumed that she and Black were back together, but to his surprise, he had never been more wrong. Meesa shared with him that her and Black were officially over. She told him she wanted to get to know him more.

He liked the idea. Mike told her he was there for her whenever she needed him, and that when she was ready, he was willing and able to take care of her. Meesa countered with a firm no thank you. Never again would she allow herself to be taken care of. Finally, she had gotten back to the basics.

In a month's time, she had designed three new outfits. She began to read more, and take time to explore new things. Meesa had started to educate herself. Going to museums and studying art inspired new designs each time she went. She even started taking Spanish lessons. Life had become fun again. She and Kyan went to mommy and me classes together. Being with Kyan always made life easier. Her and Black hadn't crossed paths in over a month, and to her that was more than fine.

“So you ready to order?” Mike questioned.

“Yes, I'm starving. I have been eating like a horse here lately. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know I've gained a couple of pounds.”

“You look good to me. Damn good,” Mike said, smiling.

Looking away, Meesa wondered how long she could hold Mike off. He was everything she wanted in a man. Each time they went out their kisses got longer and longer, and his kisses were so sweet. The boy knew how to work his tongue. Meesa was definitely attracted to him. But being in a relationship with him was another thing. Enjoying his company and being together were two different things. Meesa, being the person she is, didn't want to hurt his feelings.

“Hey, are you alright?”

Coming back to reality Meesa smiled. “Yeah, I'm okay. I just have a lot of stuff on my mind.”

“Anything you care to talk about?”

“No, I'll be alright.”

“Okay, then let's order.”

With dinner finished, Mike and Meesa shared dessert.

“Here open up.” Meesa teased.

“Oh, so you want to feed me?”

“Yes. Now open up.” Meesa demanded.

Slowly, gliding the spoon of ice cream into his mouth, Meesa felt a little turned on. Mike's lips were so soft and beautiful. Any women would die to even touch them. It was very sad to her that she couldn't feel more for him.

“It's good huh?”

“I bet you would taste better.”

“Whatever Mike.” Meesa laughed.

While laughing, Meesa became suddenly queasy. It was like she was having a major hot flash.

“Are you hot?”

“No, I'm cool, but you must be burning up. You have a little sweat bead on your forehead.”

Embarrassed, Meesa excused herself to go to the restroom. Meesa tried splashing a little water on her face. Grabbing a towel, she patted her face dry. Staring into the mirror she noticed her face had become flushed. Feeling better, she regrouped and joined Mike back at the table. Mike stood to help her with her chair.

“Are you coming down with something?”

“I don't think so. I'm sorry, I don't know what that was. All of a sudden I just felt queasy. But it passed so quickly.”

“Well, I hope you're not coming down with food poisoning.”

“No, this is a five star restaurant. I'm cool.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure Mike.” Assuring him, Meesa smiled.

“So, are you up for a movie?” Mike asked.

“Yes, let's go.”

“That movie sucked.” Meesa said.

“No, it didn't I loved it.”

“I know you did, you laughed throughout the whole movie.”

“Well, it was good to me. You know since, I'm not allowed in your house, let me go use the restroom.”

“Don't be dropping hints boy.” Meesa laugh.

“I'll be at the front when you're done.”

“A'ight.”

Checking
her two-way, Meesa looked out at the crowd departing the movie theater. Through the crowd she spotted Black. Along with him were Perry and some chick. Knowing there had to be another girl, Meesa hid behind a door. Black and his people all stood talking. Meesa got a couple of stares from people walking by, but she didn't care, she had to see but not be seen. Another minute passed and there was no other female insight.

Mike searched throughout the crowd for Meesa. Meesa spotted him describing her to people. Deciding she had to come from behind the door, she stepped out.

Speaking loudly she yelled, “Here I am Mike!”

Mike and Black turned from the sound of her voice. The sight of Black was like an all natural high. Meesa never would need drugs. Black was all the adrenaline rush she needed. As Meesa stared at Black and Mike, Mike looked at Black, while Black watched Meesa. Black didn't know whether to speak or not. So he opted to stand silent. After the face off, Mike strutted over to Meesa. Making sure he grabbed her hand and caressed her back. Looking into his eyes, Meesa gave another unsure smile. Glaring back at Black, she knew he was hurt. Devastation was written all over his face.

“What's up Meesa baby?” Perry asked.

“How are you?”

“I'm good sweetheart. We all miss you baby girl.”

Staring at her feet Meesa uttered, “I miss you all too P.”

Looking back up at Black she made sure he got it.

“Well, I'll see you all later.”

“A'ight Mee.” Perry answered.

Walking out of the movie theater, Meesa glanced back over
her shoulder at Black. He, of course, was still staring at her. Black gave her a wink and smile. Getting into Mike's Jag, Meesa knew nothing had to be said. Their hearts spoke every word.

“Hold on Mee.” Destiny said, as she clicked over.

“Hello?”

“Yeah, who was that?”

“You are so nosy Mee Mee.”

“So, who was it?” Meesa asked again.

“Well, if you have to know, that was Kelly, and if you don't mind, I'm about to click over and call her.”

“Oh hush and call her.” Meesa said, while laughing.

“Hello?”

“Yeah, what you doing?” Destiny asked.

“Nothing, I just got in from work.”

“Why are you getting off so late, it's almost eleven?”

“They called me in. I wasn't even supposed to work, but I need the money so I went in.”

“So, how much have you saved up?” Meesa questioned.

“I've saved up about five grand.”

“That's good Kelly.” Meesa said.

“Yeah, you doing the damn thing girl.” Destiny spoke.

“So, when are you going to go pick up your car?” Destiny asked.

“Next weekend and I want one of you to come with me.”

“Cool, we'll both go.” Meesa stated.

“You just are speaking for me Mee Mee. You don't know what I have planned next weekend.”

“Nothing.” Kelly said laughing. Meesa cracked up too.

“Shut up. But you're right, I don't have anything to do. Kat is so busy with the car wash that he leaves me here stuck by myself.”

“Who would have ever thought you and Kat would be together.” Kelly spoke.

“I know, right. But I love his black ass to death. If it wasn't for him, I don't know where I'd be right now.”

“Yeah, the kid love him some Destiny.” Kelly chuckled.

“And she love her some Kat.” Meesa added.

“Yes I do. Where is Jaden, Jr.?”

“He's gone over my little cousin's house.”

“So you and Jaden got the night all to yourselves?” Destiny asked.

“Yes, and when I get off the phone with ya'll, he got a treat coming.”

“Kelly, I don't want to hear that.” Meesa spoke grossed out.

“Oh shut up Meesa. You just mad because you ain't had any in like fifty million years.” Teased Destiny.

“Yeah, when are you going to fuck Mike?” Kelly asked.

“Yeah, when are you?” Destiny questioned too.

“Um, excuse the both of you, but I don't fuck, I make love. And I'm not ready to have sex with Mike yet.”

“I don't see why not. Girl, you better give Mike some. The boy is fine Mee. You have to be attracted to him. Hell, if you're not something is definitely wrong with you.” Destiny replied.

“Ain't nothing wrong with me Destiny. I'm just not ready for all that. Too much shit comes along with sex.”

“You're right Mee, I feel you.” Kelly agreed.

“I understand too, but damn Mee, you got to get over Black one day. That's also true.” Agreed Kelly.

“Kelly, you just hush. I will get over Black when I'm good and ready. I'm doing better though. We haven't spoken in over a month.”

“Well, that's good. Cause ya'll needed some time apart. I think it will do you both some good. I still want ya'll to get back together though.” Kelly said.

“Enough about me, Dee did you ever get that Dolce coat you were talking about?”

“No. Don't even get me started….”

As Destiny continued to talk, Meesa started to feel sick again.

It had been a week since her date with Mike, ever since, she had moments of queasiness. But this time, it was different. Her whole body radiated heat, and the right side of her pelvis started to hurt. Meesa doubled over in pain.

“Shit, Oww!” She yelled into the phone.

“Meesa are you alright?” Destiny asked. Meesa couldn't get a thing out the pain hurt so much.

“Meesa! Meesa!” Kelly called. Then as fast as it came the whole thing went away. Still holding her side, Meesa breathed slowly. Destiny and Kelly still called out to her.

“I'm here, I'm here.”

“What in the hell just happened to you?” Destiny demanded to know.

“Hell, if I knew I would tell you. I've been having these episodes for about a week now.”

“What kind of episodes Mee?” Kelly calmly questioned.

“It's like one minute I'm cool, then all of a sudden I get all hot. I mean, burning up hot to the point were I'm sweating, and I feel like I have to throw up, but nothing ever comes up.”

“But why were you screaming like you were in pain?” Destiny asked.

“This time the right side of my pelvis started to hurt like I was cramping.”

“Well, maybe you're about to come on.” Stated Destiny.

“That's just it, I haven't been on in almost two months.”

“Uh oh, somebody might be pregnant.” Laughed Destiny.

“When was the last time you and Black had sex?” Kelly quizzed. Thinking back on that night, Meesa remembered it had been almost two months ago.

“You think I could be pregnant Dee?”

“How long has it been Mee?

“It's been almost two months now. Damn, I can't be pregnant
now. This is the worse time for me to be pregnant. Black and I aren't even speaking. How can we raise a child together?” She questioned herself.

“Meesa, ya'll are doing great raising Kyan together.” Kelly said, reassuringly.

“But we're not even together. We were supposed to be together forever when Kyan came along. But now, I don't even know where we're going right now. I don't want to have a baby when there is a big possibility that we may never be back together. It's bad enough Kyan has to go back and forth between us. To bring another child into this wouldn't be right.”

“So, you're saying if you're pregnant, you want an abortion?” Destinyasked.

“I don't know what I'm saying. First I have to find out if I am or not.”

Meesa tossed and turned the whole night.
Whenever she did fall asleep, she dreamt of her being pregnant. She saw herself on the ground screaming for help. Someone was over her but she couldn't see the face. Then the next thing she knew the baby was lying by her side. They were face to face but they both had blood gushing from them. Meesa would wake up in a cold sweat. She tried to fight the sleep but eventually it would catch her, and again the dream would start.

Meesa didn't know if this was a sign of things to come. She wondered who the other person in the dream was, maybe it was Black. Quickly she replaced the thought. But it would always creep back. Black's father had killed his mother, and after Black hit her, she didn't know what to expect. Never had she feared Black but the dreams freaked her out.

As soon as sunlight hit, Meesa and Kyan were dressed and ready to go. She stopped at Walgreen's and purchased a pregnancy test. With her purchase in hand, she headed to Destiny's house. They all agreed to meet up at Destiny's at eight so they could find out the results together. Kat always left the house at about seven to check on his businesses, so the coast was clear. Kelly and Gwen didn't have to be at work until after ten, so that gave them plenty of time.

Pulling into the circled driveway, Meesa saw Kelly getting out of her car. Kelly met her on her side of the truck and kissed her cheek.

“You ready to find out?”

“I'm as ready as I'll ever be.” Inside they all hugged. Destiny offered juice and muffins, but Meesa couldn't eat a thing. Instead, she drank three glasses of water. She contemplated telling them about her dream but thought against it. She had enough on her plate. While the others ate, Meesa went and took the first test.

“Okay, I have to wait a minute.”

“Um, we all know how to take a pregnancy test Mee. Sit your nervous ass down.” Gwen laughed.

“Do I look that scared?

“Yeah, you do.” Gwen teased.

Staring at Kyan drinking his bottle took Meesa's mind off the test for a minute. He was so beautiful. Another child wouldn't be that bad she thought. Look at what they had created together, but again, they weren't together.

Snapping her back to reality, Destiny tapped her. “Mee it's time. You ready?”

Nodding was all she could do. They all went into the bathroom together. Meesa said a silent prayer and asked God for strength. With her eyes closed she picked up the test.

Opening one eye, she saw a positive sign. Tears fell from her eyes. The girls all hugged her. Meesa didn't know if she was happy or not. All she knew was that a decision had to be made. Back in the kitchen, they all sat silent. Meesa sat in a daze.

This wasn't like her first pregnancy. Too much had happened in her life. A dark cloud hovered over her now. Whichever choice she made now would have great consequences. How would Black react to this news? She didn't know if he had moved on or not. And hell, Kyan was only five months old. It hadn't even been a year since he was born. How would she deal
with a newborn and a one year old by herself? Figuring she was about two months pregnant, she had to make a choice fast.

“Meesa, honey, whatever you decide to do we're here for you, okay.” Kelly assured Meesa.

“Yeah, Mee Mee, we got you. You know you got babysitters all around.” Gwen joked.

“So, when are you going to tell Black?” Destiny asked.

Somberly Meesa shrugged.

“Are you scared to tell him?” Gwen questioned.

“Cause if you are, I can be there with you when you tell him.”

Inhaling deeply, she looked around the table. Meesa knew she wasn't alone. She had the best friends in the world. With them by her side, she would be able to handle anything.

“Thank ya'll. I just don't know what I'm going to do. This shit is just so fucked up. I finally just got my shit back together. Things were just starting to get back to normal for me. How am I going to deal with Black all over again?

If anything, I would want us to be together for the sake of Kyan and the baby. But hell, how long could that last without us killing each other. And Mike is such a good guy, how am I going to tell him I'm pregnant. What man would want to be with somebody who's pregnant by another man?”

“Mee Mee if he really likes you, he'll understand.” Destiny said.

Meesa gave her a ‘be for real’ face. Laughing they all knew she was full of shit.

It was noon and Meesa sat on the plush carpet and sorted through Christmas ornaments. Meesa laughed to herself. Last year at this same time she had found out she was pregnant.
Again, she would have a July baby if she decided to keep it. Separating the lights she ran across a special ornament. It was gold and crème, with her and Black's name engraved on it. They had planned on getting another one with all of their names on it this year. It saddened Meesa that they didn't even make it a year as a family.

As Meesa stood to wrap the lights around the tree, the doorbell rang. She wondered who it could be. Still holding the lights she opened the door. Mike stood with a bouquet of yellow roses. Astonished she smiled.

“Hey Mike, what are you doing here?” She asked. She never allowed him to come over uninvited. He only came over to pick her up and drop her off. Therefore, she never had to let him in.

“I wanted to surprise you. I hope that's cool.” He said grinning.

Not wanting to be rude she answered, “No.”

Handing her the flowers, he asked could he come in. She knew he knew better.

“Mike, I don't want to be mean, but you know I can't do that. I thank you for the flowers though they're beautiful. Maybe we can get together later on this week.

Kissing her cheek he replied, “Sure”.

Smiling back at him, she kissed his lips to show him she appreciated him. They never noticed Black standing right behind them. Clearing his throat Black let his presence be known. Meesa jumped and Mike turned, Meesa almost shitted on herself. Words weren't words anymore. Time stood frozen.

“Well um, I'll catch you later Meesa.” Mike spoke, while eyeing Black. Meesa's eye's stayed glued to Black's. Her future and her past stood right before her. Black stared Mike up and down as he passed him. Mike got into his car, drove off with a grin on his face. Meesa and Black stood in silence. Finally Meesa spoke.

“He just popped up over here Black. I didn't know he was coming over.” She spoke, almost in a whisper.

“It's cool Meesa it's your life. You just be careful a'ight. If you're going to allow him around my son, I can't stop you. But I still don't want that nigga in my house while I'm still paying the bills.”

Meesa nodded in agreement. This couldn't be Black speaking. This Black was calm and collected. He was so unlike the angry and frustrated man she once knew. He wasn't angry, but in his eyes, she saw sadness.

“I just came over here to talk to you about Christmas. Look its cold as hell out here, can I come in?” Stepping to the side, she let him in.

“I was just, um putting up the Christmas tree. Kyan's upstairs taking his nap.”

Black took off his Roc-A-Wear puffy coat and picked up their special ornament. He remembered when they had it made. They were so happy then. Sitting it back down, he caught Meesa looking at him. Quickly she took her attention elsewhere.

“You want me to help you while we talk?”

Yeah, if you want.” She shrugged.

“Well, what I was thinking is, since this is Kyan's first Christmas, I should be with him.”

“And I should be with him too.” Meesa stated. Handing him the lights, they started to wrap them around the tree.

“Yes, you should be. I mean we only get to experience this once.” That's why we should all spend Christmas together. The together part had Meesa shook.

Black had it all planned. Spending the holidays together as a family would make Meesa remember how much she needed
him. Hell it had to, he hoped. The past couple of months without her had him sick. His whole day was consumed with thoughts of Meesa. Black needed her back, and he was willing to do anything to make her his again.

“Together, you want us all to be together for Christmas?” Meesa repeated, to make sure she had heard right.

“Yeah, I mean even though Kyan don't know what's going on, I still want to be with him. So I was thinking, maybe I could spend the night on Christmas Eve. That way, I could be with him Christmas morning. After a couple of hours I'll leave.”

Meesa grabbed the end of lights he gave to her and continued to wrap them around the tree. Meesa didn't answer immediately. This was too big of a deal to answer on point. Wrapping the lights, she contemplated, being with Black for Christmas would be nice. Then she remembered the baby. How would she tell him? The mere thought of the baby made her jittery. Looking over at Black, her hands became clammy. As Meesa thought, Black continued with the tree.

He wondered why it was taking her so long to reply.

A couple of minutes passed before Meesa answered yes. Black was overwhelmed with joy.

But being the OG he was he stood like a man and played it cool. Halfway through finishing with the tree, Meesa started to feel sick again. She silently begged God to not let this happen while Black was there. But it wouldn't stop. This time her vision started to blur. Meesa dropped the lights and covered her eyes.

“Here.” Black spoke, while trying to hand her an ornament. But Meesa couldn't see anything. Feeling like she was trapped, Meesa gasped for air. Each breath she took felt like her last. Meesa felt as if she was drowning. Grabbing at her chest she tried to calm herself down. But that only made it worst.

“Meesa! Meesa,” Black yelled. Meesa couldn't answer. It felt like she was having a heart attack. Then all of sudden things faded to black.

Black shook her and yelled for her to wake up. Black didn't know what was happening. He tried to find a pulse but he didn't know how to do it.

After a minute or so, Meesa opened her eyes. Black kissed her face and thanked God that she had opened her eyes.

“Meesa, what the fuck just happened to you? You scared the shit out of me.” Black had never seen no shit like that before. Meesa wondered how she got on the floor. Her pelvis started to hurt again. Holding her side she cried from the pain.

“Meesa baby, what's wrong!” He yelled.

“Oh God help me!” She yelled. Meesa hoped she wasn't miscarrying. Crying with fear she squeezed Black's hand. All Black could do was hold her. Still he wondered what was happening. The only thing he understood was that the love of his life was in pain.

“Please God, don't take my baby from me.” Meesa begged. Black didn't know if she was hallucinating or what. Meesa kept begging and crying. Finally, it was over as quick as it started. Rubbing her back Black sat confused. What had just happened he thought?

Meesa had finally calmed down. Trying to stand up she asked Black to let her go. But he was too afraid to. Telling him she was okay, he finally agreed to let her go. Meesa entered the bathroom and ran cold water on her face. Grabbing a towel she dried her face off. She thanked God for helping her through. Meesa knew she had to see a doctor fast. Meesa's mind was made up, she was going to keep her baby. The very moment she thought she may lose him or her, she knew she couldn't live without it. Her dream had come true though, but she thanked God that the outcome was different.

Returning to the living room, she found Black standing.

“Meesa are you okay? You just passed out in front of me. Then you woke up holding your stomach and shit. What the fuck is up? I thought you were dead.”

“Black, I don't know what just happened either. But this isn't the first time it's happened either.” Meesa said ashamed.

“You mean to tell me you've passed out before?” He questioned.

“I've never passed out before, but I have had the pain in my pelvis not my stomach before.” Sitting down on the couch she continued.

“It's been happening now for about a week and a half.”

“Why didn't you tell me? Has this happened while you've been here alone with Kyan?”

“Yeah, but at first it wasn't this bad.

“Well, what is it?”

“I don't know what it is, but I do know what's causing it.” Meesa knew it was now or never.

“Well, what is causing it?” Meesa drew in a long breath.

“Black, I'm two months pregnant.”

“What? You're pregnant with that nigga baby?”

Meesa's head jerked up fast. Black paced back and forth angrily.

“Black I'm not pregnant by Mike.” Black stopped pacing and eyed her.

“You mean to tell me that's my baby?”

“Yeah, you don't remember when it happened?” Thinking back he remembered the night. But how was he to know she hadn't slept with Mike.

“So you and Mike haven't fucked?”

“No Black, Mike and I haven't fucked.” Black stood silent.

“What you think I'm lying?”

Black shrugged.

“Oh hell no, get the fuck out!” She yelled. “I knew I shouldn't have told your ass shit. And here I was actually thinking about keeping it. Fuck that, I don't want to have to deal with you anymore than I have too.” Meesa retorted angrily.

Grabbing his coat she threw it at him.

Black knew he shouldn't have even questioned her honesty. Meesa would never do that to him. He had fucked up again. Meesa stood with the door open. Black stopped in front of her and spoke softly.

“Meesa I'm sorry. I mean I'm shocked. I'm sorry if I offended you. But you caught a nigga off guard with this shit. I know that you wouldn't do anything like that. And yeah, you might want me gone, but until we find out what's wrong with you, I'm not going anywhere.” Black removed her hand from the door and closed it.

“Why don't you just leave Black? I don't want you here. I'll be okay. And besides, I'm not keeping the baby anyway.” Black tried to ignore her, but it was hard to. The thought of her killing their baby was too painful.

Meesa had to know that if she had an abortion, it would be over for good. But what if that's what she wants, for it to be over for good Black thought. Maybe she wanted to be with Mike now. I'm not keeping the baby anyway replayed over and over again in his mind.