Meadowlarks (39 page)

             
“Oh, thank you!” I chuckle.

             
“I can't believe our little boy is crawling.” Addison beams and takes him from me. She cradles him, stroking her fingers in his hair lovingly. When she sits on the couch to nurse him, I head upstairs to change.

             
Today we are going on a date, our first in months. Riley kindly offered to babysit Seth at their house, and as much as I wanted to decline because I'll miss him, I know he'll be fine. We need to get out, even if it's just an hour or two.

             
Date day consists of going for a ride. She trots beside me on Jax, who has grown into a huge mass, strong and rigid, a real sight to see. Mischief is just a shadow compared to his stature, but we keep up, even when she takes off cantering ahead of us.

             
When the sun starts to set, we head back home and brush the horses quickly before letting them go back into the pasture. I put away my saddle and our bridles and close the barn door behind me.

             
Addison is sitting on the picnic table, watching the horses roll in the field, smiling when they stand and shake off the dirt.               “I miss him already.”

             
“I do, too.”

             
“I called. Riley said he's sleeping sweet and sound.”

             
I lean down to kiss her shoulder.               “Well, that gives me more time, doesn't it?”

             
“And just how are we going to spend that time, Mr. Blackstock?” She grins and bites her lip.

             
I narrow my eyes and scoop her up in my arms. “Very,
very
wisely.”

             
I scan the auditorium looking for any familiar faces. Finally, I see mom and dad, both sitting and smiling while staring back at me. Alex is sitting beside mom, looking bored as usual. He was pretty much forced to be in attendance today.

             
Where is Jacob?
             
Maybe he couldn't find a seat near my parents; I hope he's not running late.

             
I have the biggest butterflies in my stomach. I hate big events, hate being the center of attention even more so.
              Just call my name already, so I can get this over with.              
Thankfully I'm a C initial, so it doesn't take long to get to me. Once I hear my name, I'm up and across the stage.

             
“Congratulations, Ms. Cole!”

             
“Thank you!”

             
Mrs. Lydell, my favourite professor throughout the long and gruelling but so-very-worth-it nursing program, hands me my diploma. A quick handshake followed by a few more, and               I'm down the steps, free and ready to start my new life.

             
Addison Cole, RN.
Wow. It feels so good that I've finally finished. Now the hard part begins, actually finding a good hospital to hire me.

             
“My baby girl!” Mom hugs me, crying of course, and dad wraps his arms around the both of us. Alex stands a few feet away, thumbing the screen of his phone and occasionally eyeing some girls nearby.

             
“Have you seen Jacob?” I ask.

             
Mom looks around the auditorium and frowns. “No. We thought he was going to sit with us. Has he called?”

             
I open my small purse and pull out my phone. No texts or missed calls from him so I send a quick
where are you?
text message to him. My parents look at each other, probably both wanting to tell me he's an asshole and I should just ditch him, but they don't say anything.

             
A congratulatory dinner is planned, and I quickly drive home to change out of this ridiculous outfit. I'm surprised when I see Jacob's car sitting in the driveway. I park the Mustang next to his Rover.

             
“Hey there, handsome!” I open the screen door of the small porch and see Luca sitting at the front door. “What are you doing out here?”

             
The door is locked, and it takes me a minute to find my keys. Once inside, I toss my purse on the small table by the door, kick off my heels and lightly tip-toe upstairs. I bet he's still sleeping, and I'm not going to let this one go easy. I can't believe he missed my graduation.

             
The millisecond my foot hits the top step, I hear it. My heart starts thumping in my chest so hard and loud it's almost deafening. I'm no idiot; I've seen enough movies to know what is making the sound on the other side of my bedroom door. It's just that in the movies; the woman is always brave, either kicking the door open or bursting in some other way, telling the bitch on her man to get off, grabbing her by the hair.

             
I breathe slowly, still listening to the heartbreaking whimpers and sighs coming from my bedroom. I shake my hands at my sides, trying to loosen myself a little, letting all the ache fall out of my body.               The old brass knob is cold in my hand. It turns slowly and clicks when it releases the mechanism on the inside.

             
Here goes, Cole.
I breathe.

             
“Becca?”               I can't believe my eyes.

             
“Oh, my God! Jake!” Becca screams and flies off the bed, grabbing all the sheets with her, leaving him completely naked.

             
“Addison, what the fuck are you doing here?” Jacob hisses and doesn't even bother to cover himself.

             
I'm breathless, standing in the doorway of my own bedroom, having just witnessed one of my best friends sleeping with my boyfriend.

             
“I...I...” I stammer, my cheeks hot with anger. “My grad; you didn't come.”               It really isn't answering his question, but it's all I can manage to say.

             
He gets out of bed, furiously rips a sheet from her hand, and wraps it around his waist.               “Get out of here, Bec.”

             
She scampers across the room, grabbing something; I have no idea what since I'm awestruck, looking at him. The person I live with, thought I knew—thought I
loved
and loved me back; is now unrecognizable.

             
She doesn't say anything to me when she rushes past, and as much as I would have loved to grab her head and slam it off the door frame, I don't. I don't move at all.

             
“I asked you a question.” He narrows his eyes, and slowly walks toward me, menacingly.

             
“Are you kidding me!?” My chest heaves from exasperation.

             
He chuckles. “You think
you're
enough for
me?
Please.” He reaches out his hand and strokes my heated cheek with his cold fingers. I wince at the contact, and his eyes flare.               “Such beauty...” He trails his fingers on my skin. “And that body...”

             
The first hit takes me by surprise, and the second takes my breath away. I curl on the floor and hold my face in my hands as I try to stand back up, crying for him to stop.

             
He doesn't.

             
The last blow sends me right out of the bedroom. By some miracle I stop before falling down the wooden staircase.

*
              *              *

             
“Mom, I need this.” I look at her with puppy eyes, and she melts, just like she always did when I was a little girl and wanted something.

             
“I know, baby. I know.” She strokes a long piece of my hair and twirls it in her fingers.               “I'm going to miss you so much!”

             
I hug her and tell her how much I will miss her too, how much I'll miss the smell of the air from the ocean and everything else about Maine.
Almost
everything anyway.

             
Alex already has his bags loaded in the trunk of the Mustang. I don't think it's ever had so much stuff crammed into it before.

             
Dad's in the driveway talking to him, probably giving him a lecture about behaving himself and that he should listen to his big sister and be respectful. It’s the same talk he always got, never listened to, and then got all over again before heading out on his next venture.

             
“Please call if you need anything along the way.” Dad smiles and hugs me tightly.

             
“Well, call regardless!” Mom gushes and starts to cry, kissing Alex's cheek and then rubbing her lipstick mark from his skin. “Be a good boy, Alex.”

             
He'll always be their baby, no matter what he does and how bad he screws up.

             
I have no idea where we're going, and to be honest, it feels amazing. Just being behind the wheel, no time frame, just the open road with Luca—and Alex.

             
New York, then Illinois. States fly by, and we try to enjoy each and every one of them. At a small and absolutely adorable diner in Missouri, I call mom quickly to tell her where we are and let her know we're just fine. Alex walks Luca across the road to an open field and lets him run around.

On the wall is a big map of the United States, the edges brown and torn from all the people passing through, I'm sure.

              “Alex, you pick this time,” I say once he returns. I smile and point to the map.

             
“California! California!” He closes his eyes and laughs. His long finger slowly traces the old paper and at one point ends up in the Atlantic.

             
“Too far.” I snort. And he tries again.

             
“Wyoming. Shit.” He frowns when he opens his eyes and sees where his finger ended up.

             
I found a cute little condo to rent month-by-month; it doesn't take long to realize once we got here that this place is just perfect. It's exactly where I've needed to escape to, to find myself again—to smile again.

             
It takes a few weeks to somewhat settle in, unpack my clothing and put pictures on the walls. Alex is living out of his bags, which I don't mind, as long as they're not sprawled around the house.

             
Wyoming is beautiful, and this morning I feel invigorated. I shower and stand in front of the tiny closet, trying to decide what to wear. My hair drips cool water down my back, and I rub the towel through my head, drying it a little.

             
I thumb through the hangers and finally choose a simple blue cotton dress. It’s got a little bit of a low neckline, but I'm feeling good lately, so why not?

             
I absentmindedly trace my fingers along the little eyelet patterns all along the bottom. It's one of my favourites. When I slide the closet door shut, the mirror on the front is right there, and I'm forced to look at myself.               I stare at the girl in the glass, taking in her features and leaning in close to eye every detail. When I stand back I lift my right arm and look at my ribcage. No more bruises, no more marks anywhere. I remember the pain. I remember every second, and I'm so thankful I don't have anything permanent to remind me daily of the worst day of my life.

             
“Alex, let's go shopping.”

             
Words every guy loves to hear, right? He snorts but gets up off the couch anyway.               What else does he have to do today?

             
We stroll down the sidewalk, looking at all the stores, and I stop a few times to window shop. Alex is annoyed, but I don't care. After lunch at yet another cute diner, we continue walking and turn the corner on Oakburn Street. There's a feed store beside the grocery store.

I elbow Alex and point.
“Let's check that out. Maybe get Luca something.”

             
The little door dings, and I smile to myself. Small towns; they're adorable. A big counter to my left has a display of plastic cubes with all kinds of bones and biscuits in them. Some are made with beef, some pork, chicken and lamb.

             
“The chicken ones look good.”

             
I look up and see a handsome man with short dark hair and bold brown eyes standing by the end of the counter. He's smiling and very obviously blushing. I smile and thank him for the suggestion, and I choose three chicken treats for Luca.

             
The guy behind the counter isn't as cute, but he's smiling and kindly tells me how much I owe him. When I hand him the money, his fingers rub mine, almost as if on purpose, and it creeps me out a little. Alex is completely oblivious to everything, still texting who knows whom. He's never without that phone.

             
“Let's go, Addy.” He taps me, annoyed and eager to leave.

             
I slide my sunglasses on when we get outside. The sun is even brighter than it was five minutes ago. The warmth feels amazing on my skin, and for the first time since we got here, I feel it was meant to be.

             
“Hey, look!” Alex taps me again and points to a bake sale over at the grocery store. “Buy your little bro some treats now?” He grins and almost skips over to the stand.

             
It only takes a minute to buy butter tarts and chocolate chip cookies, but getting Alex away from these raging cougars is quite another. He loudly refers to me as his sister a few times, giving them the clear message that he's very available, and I roll my eyes behind my dark glasses.

             
Alex starts chatting with some woman in too-skinny skinny jeans and a blouse that doesn't leave anything to the imagination. I turn my back to them and lift my head up to the sky, letting the sun soak me and heat my soul.

             
The small ding of the feed store door catches my attention, and I see the one guy from the counter walking out carrying a bunch of buckets. He puts them in the back of an old truck, and walks back up the steps to hold the door open.

             
I have to lift my glasses when I see what walks out next. A man with unruly dirty blonde hair, carrying a big bag of food over his shoulder steps through the doorway and down to the truck. His t-shirt is so tight around his arms that I almost feel a quiver in my knees. The messy hair, the jeans, the boots—he's picturesque. I'm breathless.