Mean Season (22 page)

“So that's great, I guess,” I said. “It seemed like you were getting sort of bored of life at the Winn-Dixie.”

“You really think it's great? I never thought for a second about that kind of life,” Max said. “Not before Josh got here, at least.”

“It looks like you need to start thinking,” I told him.

Max looked at me, and kept looking at me.

“Judy says that Sasha has the eye, whatever that means. I can't even see his eyes behind those sunglasses he has on. Actually, I think it was Judy's eye you caught.” I felt like I was babbling.

“You didn't answer my question,” Max said.

“What question?”

“Leanne!” It was Momma. She'd rounded the corner and was standing with her hands on her hips. “I've been calling for you. Sally Ann's casserole dish just broke all over the dining room table. There's macaroni and cheese everywhere.”

“Jesus!” I just blurted it out, before I could edit myself. “Can't you see I'm trying to have a life? Is no one else at this entire party qualified to clean up Sally Ann's mac and cheese?”

Momma blinked but said nothing.

I turned back to Max, but whatever the moment had been, it was gone.

“I need to use the rest room, anyhow,” Max muttered. “We'll catch up later.” He stepped inside and closed the door. I hoped it didn't smell too strongly of scouring powder.

“Fine, I'm coming,” I told my mother.

I helped Sally Ann clean off the dining table and reconfigure her macaroni and cheese into two smaller dishes, but by the time I returned to Beau Ray's hallway, Max was gone. Joshua now stood outside the closed bathroom door.

“Charlene's in there,” he said. “I'm just waiting.” Then he gave me his “concerned” look, which I was never sure was real or put-on. “What's up? Something's up.”

I looked away. I didn't want to tell him about Max and how it felt like I was about to lose him. All that made me wish that Joshua had never come to town—then Judy wouldn't have come to Pinecob and met Max and introduced him to Sasha. And I would never have started to think so much about leaving Pinecob, and maybe I wouldn't have ignored Max like I had done, and maybe we could have made a small little life together, somewhere on the outskirts of Charles Town. But now it was too late. Now Max was going to Los Angeles or was dating someone else or would return to Charlene in a heartbeat, or a mix of all three.

“It's nothing,” I said.

 

I poked my head into the kitchen, but it was empty.

I walked back outside. Beau Ray and his friends were playing a game of wiffle ball, and Beau Ray said that I had to play, because the teams weren't even and his team needed someone at second base. Judy had been roped into playing for the batting team and was also on second.

“Where's Sasha?” I asked while we waited for the next hit. I hadn't seen him since I'd fled inside.

“He went back to the hotel to meet Lars,” she explained. “I think this party was a little much for him. Too much authentic atmosphere.”

“Did he bring Max with him?” I asked.

Judy frowned and looked around. “I don't think so. He was using my cell phone, last I knew. Or trying to. He wanted to call his parents to tell them what Sasha said. Pretty exciting, don't you think? Max is totally Sasha's type. I knew it the moment I saw him. Professionally speaking, of course. And Sasha is heading up casting for the next Bond film and thinks he sees a part for Max in it, if the tests go well. Things happen really fast around Sasha. Oh, a hit!” Judy ran off to third, and then home.

“Leanne!” Beau Ray called. “Outfield. Big batter.” He waved me back.

I nodded and headed toward the outfield, which in our yard was close to the beginning of the trees that separated our house from Brown's Field. One of Beau Ray's friends from therapy was at bat. I didn't know him, but he
was
big, and when he swung, the crack of the wiffle ball sounded almost like a hit in a real baseball game. It was an automatic home run—the ball whizzed past me and into the trees. I heard whoops from the batting team, and headed back to try to recover the ball.

I picked my way onto the path that had been there since I could remember. I'd always been surprised by how quickly the trees would envelop you, making it seem later in the day than it was, everything a few shades cooler and greener. I looked around for the ball.

“Leanne.”

It was Max, standing a few feet away, with Judy's cell phone to his ear. He was holding the wiffle ball out to me in his other hand.

“I've got to go,” Max said.

I nodded before I realized that he was talking to the person on the phone.

“I'll call you later. I love you, too.” He clicked off.

I took the ball from him. “Well, I,” I started. I was going to say that I had to get back to the game, but we both heard the crack of another wiffle bat, and a cheer go up, so it was clear that they weren't waiting on me.

“Figured I ought to tell my parents,” Max said. “I'm sorry we got interrupted back there.”

“Yeah, well, can't say no to Momma.”

“You were answering my question. What do you think of this L.A. thing? Me going out there, I mean?”

“Was I?” I asked. I didn't want to answer that question. I wasn't sure I could. “So, Charlene,” I said instead. “It must be nice to see her,” I said. “She looks good.”

“That's never been Charlene's problem,” Max said. “Sticking around was the problem.”

“She came back,” I said. “There must be a reason for that.”

Max seemed to think on something a while. “You know, we're divorced,” he finally said. “Not separated. We're divorced.”

“But you were married. You made those vows. There's gotta be part of you that…” I paused. I didn't know what to say. “That's glad to see her?” I guessed. “That thinks maybe this time…”

Max shook his head, then he shrugged. “I don't know exactly what I think,” he said.

I nodded, trying to look as cool as I could. I flipped back my hair.

“I don't know where my head is just now,” Max said. “I'm actually thinking of getting on a plane. Never thought I'd hear myself say
that.
”

“So, you're going to Los Angeles?” I asked him.

He looked at his shoes. “Hard to believe,” he said. “I guess so. Wouldn't you?”

“I guess so,” I said.

“Listen, Leanne. I've actually got to leave now, the party.
That Sasha guy wants to meet with me later today, and I need to figure out who's going to sub for me at work.”

“That's cool,” I said. “Whatever. I'm sure Beau Ray will understand.”

“That's not what I mean,” Max said. “I…you're…all this. We've known each other for a long time, haven't we? But, I don't know, I feel like I've been trying, for the past couple of months, or wanting…but I can't tell where you are. It's like, whenever I think, maybe, but then we'll get interrupted, or you'll kind of fade off. I'm not explaining myself well. But do you know, sort of, what I'm talking about?” He dug the toe of his boot into the dirt.

“Maybe,” I said, but then I took a step back. I had to remember the facts. “But Loreen said that you said you were starting to date someone. I don't want to get in the middle of anything.” I watched a wonderful smile break over him.

“Who do you think I meant?” Max asked. “I don't want to date Loreen.” Then the smile faded. “Only now, this whole L.A. thing…and part of me is thinking, great, go and don't look back. I mean, a life like Josh's? Not that anything would actually come of it, but the opportunity—that won't happen twice. And Sasha made it sound pretty cool. But there's this other side of me wondering, why now? Because I thought things were finally going to start, only they haven't, have they?”

I looked down at my feet and took a deep breath. “I had the hugest crush on you all through high school,” I told him. “You know, when I was in high school—well, also when you were in high school and I was younger.”

“No, you didn't. You did?” He sounded like he really hadn't known. I wondered whether he'd ever be as good an actor as Joshua Reed. I wondered how much of Joshua's style of life Max would want to make his own.

“And after,” I said.

“Sandy was pretty clear that you got over it.”

“That's part of her job as my best friend. Why do you think I do the grocery shopping on Sundays? I know you work Sundays,” I said. “You really think the Gitlins have got some tradition of buying food only on Sunday?”

“I thought maybe you had a thing for the assistant cheese manager,” Max said. “So that crush…” He took a step forward. I could see the stubble on his upper lip. “Do you still?”

I shrugged. “With all this happening, maybe it's not such a good idea anymore.”

“Why not? Why can't it be a good idea?” he asked, but didn't wait for me to answer.

And with that, I found myself with a wiffle ball in my hand kissing Max Campbell. And of course Sandy was right. No way he was a bad kisser. Not at all. He held my chin in his palm, then held the back of my head and moved me closer still. I had wanted to kiss Max for half my life, maybe, and it was happening, under the trees behind my backyard. I felt like I could kiss him forever, never need to eat, never need to sleep.

Everything I'd ever liked about Max came back in focus. The way he looked, the way he smelled, the way he had those times of utter inarticulation, it all came clear. This was the reason my heart had held tight, even as the years went by, even as he grew up and I did. Even as I got to know who he really was, as the person beyond the name in my spiral notebook.

We stood there, and I dropped the wiffle ball onto the dirt and kept on kissing him. In the distance, there were voices and laughter and the sound of the bat and applause and the smell of charcoal smoke and hot dogs. But close-up, it was all Max, only Max, in every sense.

He wrapped his arms around my back and I leaned in so that my body rode right up against his body—and then Judy's cell phone rang. We pulled apart and Max looked at the phone in his hand, now lit up and buzzing like a thing alive. He handed it to me like he was scared it might bite.

“Damn. I actually do have to go,” he said, between rings. “Give this back to Judy, will you?” I nodded. “We'll talk soon,” he said. “I'll call you later. But we're good?”

“We're good.”

He kissed me once again, more lightly, then disappeared out across Brown's Field. I picked up the wiffle ball and walked back to the party.

 

Beau Ray's cake was brought out, thirty candles all ablaze. Charlene stood beside Joshua, tucked right up against his armpit, him resting his hand on her waist, as we sang. Sandy snuck up behind me.

“Where've you been? I was looking for you and guess what? Take a look at who Joshua is standing next to,” she whispered.

“I kissed Max,” I whispered back, and Sandy let out a high-pitched yelp.

“When?” she asked.

“Keep singing,” I said. We finished
Happy Birthday dear Beau Ray, Happy Birthday to you,
and everyone clapped when Beau Ray blew out the candles on the Winn-Dixie sheet cake, smiling like there'd never been a better day. I thought maybe he was right.

“Uncle Beau's happy,” my nephew Kenny said, pointing to him. He was eleven, at turns full of sass or sweetness.

“He
is
happy,” I agreed. “It's his birthday. Cake, presents and wiffle ball. You can't beat that.”

Kenny nodded. “I hope it's chocolate,” he said, looking at the cake.

Sandy pulled me away. “Well?” she said. “You don't just kiss Max and shrug it off!” she said. “You kissed Max—oh my God, I feel like my kid just won the swim meet.”

“It's not that big a deal,” I said.

“So when, where, for how long and who started it?” Sandy asked. “Was it before or after Charlene showed up?
And by the way, what the hell is she doing here? You didn't invite her, did you?”

Sandy and I took slices of chocolate cake out to the front porch.

“It was after Charlene showed up,” I said, once we were arranged on the stoop, paper plates balanced on our knees. “Apparently she knows one of the nursing assistants. But I think maybe she's here for Joshua.”

“That makes sense,” Sandy said, nodding. “He can hide, but he can't run.”

“It didn't look to me like he was trying to do either. And Judy does not look pleased.”

I told Sandy how it happened with Max. I admitted that it
was
a big deal, that it was quite possibly the best kiss ever. I also told her about Sasha, and Los Angeles, and the Bond movie, and testing.

“Wait, so he's going? Just like that?”

“I don't know. I guess so. I think so. Not moving there, not yet at least. But if things work out…”

“Wow. Bummer. Cool for him. But bummer for you.”

“Tell me about it.”

“So it looks like young Mr. Campbell might be interested in the world beyond the Winn-Dixie after all,” Sandy said.

Charlene and Joshua walked out onto the porch then, and Sandy shut up.

“Hi, Sandy. You're looking well. Have you met Charlene?” Joshua asked. He looked up at the sky. “God, it's a beautiful day.”

Sandy and I smiled up at him. Charlene took Joshua's hand and whispered something into his ear.

“We're going inside,” he told us.

“She's bad news,” Sandy said, after they were gone. “But don't be surprised if you wake to bad news tomorrow morning.”

“Nope,” I said.

More Bad News

A
round nine the next morning, around the time Momma, Susan, me and the kids were sitting down to breakfast, Judy showed up. She had left Beau Ray's party on the early side in order to get back to Harper's Ferry, to the same resort where I'd first met her and Joshua and Lars. Apparently, Judy had gotten wind of a new script development, and she wanted to make sure that Joshua knew about it. I told her that Joshua wasn't awake yet. I didn't tell her that I was almost certain he wasn't alone up there.

The night before, as I'd headed into my bedroom, I'd heard a giggle I knew could only be Charlene. There were low murmurs and another laugh and then a sigh. I had closed my door so that I wouldn't hear them, then sat on my bed and wished Max were there.

“J.P.,” Judy called, and marched up to his room. “J.P.,” she said again, knocking once and opening the door. I heard her
gasp. “Sorry,” she said, and shut the door. She turned to me. “So you
aren't
sleeping with him.”

“Did you really think I was?” I asked.

“I don't know,” Judy said. “I never know what to believe. So give me the rundown on this Charlene chick.”

“She just came back to Pinecob,” I said, dropping my voice. We headed back downstairs.

“This is just what I need,” Judy said. “A groupie girlfriend. And he's got no other distractions. I knew I should have done something about that yesterday. I could tell. She's just his type.”

“That's Max's ex-wife,” I told Judy. “I thought Max was why she came back to Pinecob, but maybe not.”

Judy nodded. “That's Max's ex? The one you said he still had a thing for?”

“I think he
used
to,” I said.

“What did he have to say about this?” she asked, motioning back toward Joshua's door. I told her that I didn't think Max knew. I reminded her how he'd left the party before she did.

“Huh,” Judy said. “Is there coffee?”

I brewed a new pot, then ran through it pouring for Judy, Susan, Momma, myself and Judge Weintraub, who had come down from Momma's room by then. Beau Ray was still in bed and as a late birthday present, Momma was letting him sleep in.

Beau Ray had spent the evening before going again and again through each present he'd received, describing it and listing who had given it to him and who that person was to him.

“This is my new deck of cards Alex gave me. Alex and I go to therapy at the Y. Then this,” he'd said, holding up a sweater, “is a sweater from Momma. Momma is Momma and that's that.”

The only present he'd treated any different was a new football. I hadn't seen him open it, so I didn't know where it had come from. And Beau Ray refused to say.

“This is my new football. It's just special.”

When most everyone had gone home, I went into Beau Ray's room, where all his presents were laid across his poorly made bed in neat rows. Beau Ray sat on the floor with his senior-year annual open before him. Beau Ray had played varsity football that year, and the yearbook was open to the team portrait.

“Hey, buddy,” I said. I crouched beside him and pointed to his face in the crowd of uniformed young men. “Who's that handsome guy?”

“Me,” Beau Ray said. “And that's Lionel, and that's Paulie, and that's Vince.” He pointed to each one of them in turn. His fingertip lingered under Vince's face, which was slightly blurred, as if he'd been moving when the shutter opened.

I looked away from the picture. I'd been thirteen that same year, and as happy-go-lucky as a girl can be at that age, what with all the body changes often going on. Later that same year, Beau Ray would fall and never fully recover. The next year, my dad would die and Vince would leave. But when the shutter had clicked, none of that had been visible. They'd just been boys on a football team, dressed for the next game.

“Hey, who gave you the football?” I asked Beau Ray. But he turned away from me. “Did Tommy send it to you? Or Joshua?”

Beau Ray looked up at me and smiled broadly.

“I like Josh. He lives here. He said I can come to his movie's place.”

“To the set? That's nice of him,” I'd said.

Back at breakfast, Judy sipped her coffee and waited for Joshua to emerge from upstairs. Judge Weintraub told her that Sasha had asked whether he might be available to work as an extra in
Musket Fire.

“Apparently, I have a remarkable presence that has gone unappreciated before now,” he said, clearly amused.

Momma laughed. “Unappreciated?”

“Maybe not by everyone,” he said. He smiled at her.

“Where's Sasha anyway?” I asked Judy. I wanted to ask him about Sandy and me being extras, too.

“Didn't I tell you? He took Max to New York first thing this morning.”

“Max is in New York?” I tried to sound calm but my heart felt like it was getting ahead of itself. “Already? I thought everything, the testing, was in L.A.”

“Sasha had to go to Manhattan for a photo session with a few actors he's considering, so he invited Max to go along. It's a great opportunity. Perfect timing. They took a car this morning. Should be there in not too long,” she said, looking at her watch.

“When will they be back?” Susan asked.

Judy shrugged. “A few days maybe. If the photo session goes well, and between you and me, I'm sure it will, Sasha can justify getting him to L.A., so Max can take some real meetings. And if those go well, Lars might even be willing to represent him,” Judy said. “What? Aren't you happy for him?”

“Sure I am. I guess,” I said. “It just all happened so fast.”

“I told you—things happen fast around Sasha. Listen, honey, I know you've got something special for Max. But this can only help things, don't you see? If anything great happens to him, it all traces back to you.”

“I guess.” But I'd quick lost my appetite for breakfast. I hadn't told anyone but Sandy that I'd kissed Max, so there I was looking like a lovesick puppy in front of my whole family.

“Who's Max?” Kenny asked me.

“A friend of your Uncle Beau's,” I told him.

Joshua and Charlene finally came downstairs.

“Sorry about that, J.P.,” Judy said. “Hello again, Charlene.”

“No biggie. No lock,” Joshua said. “These pancakes look awesome.”

Charlene nuzzled something into Joshua's ear.

“No, not as awesome as you,” Joshua whispered back.

I caught Momma frowning at the two of them, but she held her tongue.

“Who's she?” Kenny asked, pointing at Charlene.

“She's Josh's friend,” Susan said. “You remember Josh from yesterday, don't you?”

“He's the big star,” Kenny said. “He's in trouble so he's living with Gramma now.” Joshua laughed.

“Aren't kids great?” Susan said. Then she turned to Kenny. “Only we don't talk about people being in trouble in front of other people, remember?”

“She's got yellow hair,” Kenny said, pointing at Charlene again.

“And it's rude to point,” Susan said.

 

When breakfast was over, Joshua stood up, stretched and said that he could use a shower. The rest of us, save Beau Ray who was finally awake by then, had done our washing and dressing beforehand.

It was Sunday, and with Susan around, that meant church. Susan and her husband, Tim, were both active in their congregation, and were always reminding us to attend services every Sunday at the minimum. Momma went on and off, mostly for social reasons but I wasn't sure she'd set foot inside a church since she'd begun seeing Judge Weintraub.

Still, with Susan visiting, Momma had decided that we should all attend church together. Even Judge Weintraub was going. All of us save Joshua, who couldn't leave the house, of course.

“We'll pray for you,” Susan told him.

“Every little bit helps,” he said.

When Joshua mentioned getting into the shower, Charlene stood and reached for her purse.

“Oh, please. Stay a while longer,” Judy asked her.

Joshua agreed. “Yeah, stay. I won't be long,” he said, and so Charlene perched like a bug on the long couch in the living room. Joshua smiled at her and headed upstairs.

“So you and J.P.,” Judy said. “That was fast.”

Charlene nodded. “We get along,” she said.

Charlene sounded so wide-eyed that I wondered whether
she
might have a future in acting. I noticed Judy look at her watch, then glance in my direction. Then I heard her suggest to Charlene that the two of them take a sit out on the front porch. It was clear that I wasn't invited, that it was private, girl-to-girl stuff, so I announced to no one in particular that I'd best get started on the dishes. Of course, as soon at they headed outside, I opened the kitchen window. I mean, it was my house.

“Leanne tells me you used to be married to Max,” I heard Judy say.

“For a little bit,” Charlene said. “Not anymore.”

“That's too bad,” Judy said. “I tell you, if I weren't happily married,” Judy went on. “That boy is poised to go places.”

“Max Campbell?” Charlene said. “He's been at the Winn-Dixie since he was in high school.”

“Didn't you hear?” Judy asked. “Oh, right, you weren't around yesterday when Sasha saw him. Sasha does casting and the agency he works for sent him out to find the next big thing. He thinks he found it in Max. Between you and me, that boy has got star potential the likes of which I rarely see. More than any of my current clients. Don't get me wrong, I love J.P. He's been with me forever. But this Campbell guy? It's like looking at the next Cary Grant. I'd bet my career on it.”

“Max? Really?” Charlene said. “But Joshua… And this movie in Virginia. About the guns?”

“
Musket Fire.
Right,” Judy said. Suddenly, she sounded distracted. “God, I need to tell him about that.”

“How do you mean?” Charlene asked. “Tell him what?”

“I haven't had the heart, with him locked up here. But it turns out, they've found someone else for Josiah. The producers just didn't think J.P. had enough, well, as I was saying, star potential.”

“No! Really?” Charlene said. “Can they do that?”

“He knew it might be coming, but I think he's in denial. I think he's having trouble accepting that he's on a downhill slide. That's why I'm so glad he met you. It's nice that he's found someone to cushion the blow.”

There was a long pause.

“I don't know,” Charlene said finally. “I'm not sure how long I'll be in town. I've actually been considering a trip west myself. I've always thought about moving to California.”

“Really?”

“I don't know if Leanne told you, but I have an entertainment background. Tap dance. I used to be Miss Junior West Virginia.”

There was an even longer pause.

“Of course I'd be sorry not to see it work out with J.P.,” Judy said. “But if you were already thinking of California, why don't you come to L.A. when Max and I go? I can get you into a few premieres, introduce you to a few people, get a little buzz going.”

“You'd do that for me?” Charlene asked.

“I would on one condition,” Judy said.

Momma came into the kitchen at that point. “I told Susan you'd ride with her and the kids to church,” she said. “Bill's going to drive me and your brother.”

I was reluctant to turn away from the window when Judy and Charlene were still talking, but Momma was insistent.

“Leanne, I'm talking to you!”

“Yeah, what?” I said, finally turning.

“What are you doing?” she asked, then Momma walked
to the window and looked out, down the porch. She turned back to me.

“Are you jealous of Charlene?” she asked. “Is that what's going on?”

“It's not Charlene—”

“Because you've got your own gifts, Leanne. Just because Charlene looks like she does don't mean she's a better person.”

“I know,” I told her.

“I don't think it's right her spending the night when there's kids in the house,” Momma said, “but those California types, they live different than us. And Charlene's always had a bit of the California in her, I'd warrant.”

“Apparently,” I said.

Judy breezed into the kitchen then. “Is there any more coffee?” she asked.

“Don't you think that Charlene's got some California in her way?” Momma asked Judy. “I was telling Leanne.”

“Sure, she does,” Judy said.

“Where is she?” I asked Judy.

“Who?” Judy asked.

“Charlene.”

“Oh, she left.”

“To go where?” I asked, but Judy just shrugged and poured herself another cup of coffee.

A moment later, Joshua was down from his shower. “Where's Charlene?” he asked.

“She said she had some errands to do,” Judy said. “She said she'd call you later.”

Joshua seemed to accept this.

“Lars wanted me to give you this first thing,” Judy said, pulling a sheaf of papers from her bag. “It's the newest script. I think you'll be pleased. Josiah gets three pages more face time than before. You are going to be amazing,” She squeezed his shoulder.

“Yeah?” he said. “You're the greatest. I'll take a look right now.” He wandered off to read the revised screenplay. My mother left to check on Beau Ray's progress getting dressed.

I couldn't stop myself from staring.

“What?” Judy asked me.

“How could you do that?”

Judy opened her hands, palms up, and blinked. “Do what?”

“Push Charlene at Max. You sent her back to Max!” I said. I could only try to keep my voice steady.

“I only suggested that she consider all her options. You should
always
consider your options, Leanne. That's a good lesson for you, too.”