Meant for Love (43 page)

“Who are you?”

“I’m Jenny, Alex’s girlfriend.”

“Alexander doesn’t have a girlfriend. He’s too young for such things.” Her gaze narrowed as she studied Jenny. “Are you sleeping with him? I’ll have you arrested! You’re taking advantage of a boy!”

Alex’s audible gasp caught the attention of diners all around them. “I’m so sorry. We’re going to call it a night. It was great to meet you. I hope to see you again while you’re here.”

“It was great to meet you, too, Alex, and Marion,” Karen said. “I’m sure we’ll see you again before we leave.”

Jenny got up to walk them out, but he stopped her with the gentle press of his hand on her arm. “It’s okay. Stay with your folks. I’m really sorry about this.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’ll call you later?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Without looking back, he escorted his mother from the restaurant.
 

As Jenny returned to her seat, she told herself it didn’t matter that he’d gone out of his way not to look at her as he said good-bye. The belly that had once fluttered with nerves now sank with dread. His good-bye had felt awfully final.

“Well,” she said to her parents, “that’s Alex. And his mom.”

“She’s so young,” Karen said, her eyes soft with compassion.

“I know.”

“Does he have siblings?”

“He has a brother. They’ve been managing her situation on their own while trying to run their landscaping business. It’s been a struggle.”

“He’s very good with her.”

“Yes, they both are. It’s impressive, but it’s a lot on them, especially living here where there’re no facilities or anything like that. They’re in the process of hiring a nurse to come here to help them.”

“They say the measure of a man is in the way he cares for his mother,” Hugh said. “If that’s the case, then it seems like you’ve found a man truly worthy of your affection.”

Jenny couldn’t agree more, but she also couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom that had come over her as he’d walked away from her.

Chapter 23

The discomfort grew with every minute Jenny spent away from Alex. At nine-thirty, she sent him a text.

Just dropped my parents at the hotel. Are you around?

She waited several minutes, and when he didn’t reply, she headed home. Halfway there, she executed a U-turn and went to his house instead. Her heart pounded so hard she wondered why she didn’t pass out. He was upset about what’d happened at dinner, and understandably so, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the future they’d dreamed of together. Those dreams had her turning into the driveway that led to Martinez Lawn & Garden, even if she wasn’t entirely sure she’d be welcome.

The house was dark except for a single light glowing in the living room. Jenny parked her car and got out, heading for the porch on trembling legs.

“What’re you doing here?”

His voice in the dark startled her. “I came to see you.”

“Why?”

Jenny followed his voice to the rockers on the porch. “Because I wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“I’m great, so you don’t need to stay. You should go spend time with your folks while they’re here.” His voice was so cold, so devoid of the emotion she’d come to expect from him that it made her shiver despite the warm summer night. In the silence that stretched between them, the only sound she could hear was that of crickets chirping. “Go, Jenny. There’s nothing for you here.”

His words sliced through her recently healed heart with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel. She bit back a gasp from the pain that gathered in her chest and radiated through her entire body. If she walked away from him now, she sensed she’d never see him again.

Because never seeing him again simply wasn’t an option, she moved toward him rather than away. Her eyes had adjusted to the dark, so she was able to see the white shirt and khakis. Moving quickly, before she could change her mind, she slid onto his lap.

He stiffened in resistance. “What’re you doing?”

She put her arms around him and laid her lips on his. “This.” Turning her head, she kissed him again. “And this.” With her hand cupping his cheek, she ran her tongue over his bottom lip and felt his resistance begin to give way.

He turned his face. “Don’t.”

“Why not? I love you. Why wouldn’t I kiss you and touch you and be with you when you’re upset?”

“Because!” The single word burst free with the power of a gunshot blast. “This is my life. Right here. I was fooling myself to think I could have you, too. It’s not fair. You’ve been through so much. You don’t need this.”

“Is that what you think? That your mother’s illness is too much for me?”

“Hell, it’s too much for
me
, and she’s
my
mother! What she fucking said to you, in front of your parents…” His voice broke on the last word, breaking her heart right along with it.

“Alex, we’ve been there, remember? My grandmother had it, too. Nothing your mother said or did tonight bothered us.”

“It bothered me. It fucking infuriated me. That she’d say that to you. And don’t tell me it’s the disease. I know that. But she’s my mother, and she basically called the woman I love a whore in front of her parents. Is that the life you want?”

“If it includes you, then yes, it is.”

He shook his head. “I care about you too much to do that to you.”

“So you’re doing this instead? You get me to fall in love with you and then you walk away the first time it gets hard?”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Isn’t it? When I lost Toby, that was the worst thing I’ve ever been through, but at least I know he didn’t leave me because he wanted to.”

“And you think I do? You’re the only thing keeping me sane. But I have to be fair to you, and this…” He gestured toward the house, where his mother presumably slept. “This isn’t fair.”

Jenny’s composure began to waver at the finality she heard in his voice. “Please don’t decide that for me,” she said softly, leaning her forehead against his. “Please.”

“I need some time to think. What happened tonight… It was like a slap in the face and a wake-up call all at once, a reminder of where my obligations are and where they’ll be for the foreseeable future.”

“Have I ever given you any indication that I don’t understand where your obligations are?”

“No, you’ve been awesome and amazing and incredible about it.”

“I guess I fail to see the issue, but I’m not going to force myself on you.” She stood and immediately mourned the loss of his heat and his touch. “You know where I am if you figure out that it doesn’t have to be one or the other. It can be both, and we can make it work, but only if it’s what you want, too. I won’t bother you again.”

“Jenny.”
 

If only she couldn’t hear his anguish in the way he said her name.
 

“I’m sorry,” Alex said. “I hate myself for doing this to you, but it’s for the best. You’ll see that.”

Because there was simply no way to convey to him that she’d never see how this was for the best, she left him on the porch and went to her car, feeling like a robot.
 

Jenny drove home on autopilot and, except for the time she spent with her parents before they left, when she faked a cheerful veneer so they wouldn’t worry about her, she stayed there for the next week. Unfortunately, she was very well trained in hiding heartbreak from the people closest to her.
 

She refused to allow in the pain that hovered on the edge of her consciousness as she forced herself through a daily routine that consisted of sleep, enough food to stay alive and more sleep.

She dodged her friends, didn’t go to work at the store and didn’t take the calls from Paul that stopped after the third day. The only Martinez brother she wanted to hear from didn’t call.
 

Sydney came on the fifth day, marching in the mudroom door and up the stairs, calling out for Jenny on the way up. “Where are you?”

Jenny was on the sofa in the sitting room, still wearing the pajamas she’d changed into after her last shower two days ago. “Here.”

“What the hell is going on?” Syd asked, zeroing in on her on the sofa. “You’re not taking our calls. No one has seen you. What gives?”

“He broke up with me.”

“No…
Why?
”

Jenny moved her feet so Syd could sit on the other end of the sofa. “Because of his mother and his guilt and his sense of obligation that apparently doesn’t extend to me.”

 
“I don’t get it. He’s crazy about you. We all saw that. It’s all we’ve talked about since Saturday. Grace is trying to take credit for it. She thinks she introduced you to him at the Tiki. I didn’t tell her otherwise, but you’d be doing us all a favor if you could set her straight at some point.”

Jenny knew her friend was trying to cheer her up with the silly story. However, nothing could cheer her up except an indication from Alex that he’d changed his mind, but she’d given up on that happening a couple of days ago. Her eyes welled with tears, which was funny because she would’ve thought her tear ducts had run dry by now.

“God, I’m so sorry, Jenny. This totally blows.”

“It reminds me far too much of another time in my life. I never thought I’d feel that bad again, but this is…” There were no words for what this was. “I love him so much. I love everything about him. I even love his brother and his mother. I don’t care that she’s sick or that she might need me or he might need me. I don’t care about any of that.”

“And you told him so?”

Jenny nodded. “It didn’t matter.”

Sydney blew out a deep breath. “Well, if that’s the way he wants to be, you’ll have to show him it doesn’t matter.”

“And how do you propose I do that?”

“You need to get right back on the horse and start going out again. There’s no way we’re going to let you hole up here by yourself.”

“I don’t know, Syd. I’m not really in the mood to be out and about.”

“I know, honey, but I won’t let you go backward. Not after all the progress you’ve made. Why don’t you pack a bag and come spend a couple of days with us? We’ll keep you company and get you through this.”

“That’s very kind of you, but you and Luke have baby-making to do, and you don’t need me underfoot for that.”

“Oh, please,” Syd said with an inelegant snort. “He can wait a few more days.”

“The poor guy has waited long enough, and besides, I’m comfortable here. I promise I’ll call you every day, though, and I’ll be back out to play before too long.”

“All right, but I’m holding you to that.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Jenny got up to walk her friend to the stairs and gave her a hug. “Thanks for coming to check on me.”

“It’s his loss. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do. I’m awesome.”

“Yes, you are, and you’re going to find an awesome guy who deserves you.”

Jenny didn’t tell her that she’d already found that guy. Too bad he didn’t think he deserved to be happy.

***

Jenny discovered sleep was hard to come by when your heart is broken. She found herself sleeping for hours at a time in the middle of the day and lying awake in the middle of the night. Ten days had passed since she’d last seen Alex, and she was beginning to tire of her own company.

She’d kept her word to Sydney and called every day and was considering Syd’s invitation to a cookout the next night, which Jenny suspected had been thrown together as an excuse to lure her out of hiding. She’d probably go. She couldn’t hide out forever, and she wasn’t about to let a man ruin a life that had been more than satisfying before she met him.

The sun was beginning to rise in the east when she finally dozed into restless sleep that was ended a short time later by a roar outside her window. Jenny’s eyes flew open as she tried to figure out where the hell she was and what the hell was making so much noise.

And then she knew. The
beast
. She bolted from her bed and ran to the window like she had weeks earlier, and there he was, riding on the back of the beast as if he hadn’t a care in the world, like he hadn’t shattered her. As usual, he was shirtless and too hot for his own good.

How dare he show up here at
… 5:45 a.m.
like he has a right to be here!
He had no right after what he’d done to her! Enraged, she charged down two flights of stairs and out into the same pearly dawn light as the last time. Like before, she wore only a thin tank and skimpy underwear. And just like before, she went straight for the ripening tomatoes and started hurling them at him, one after the other. Three in a row hit him—one on his back, another on the side of the head and the third, square in the ass.
 

Her heart might be broken, but there was nothing wrong with her aim.

He killed the engine and slowly turned to her, grinning like a loon.

She threw another tomato that splatted against his chest.

He began walking toward her with the kind of determination that had her taking a step backward because she was out of ammo. “Still not a morning person, huh?”