Meant To Be (22 page)

Platters, bowls and dirty dishes covered the counter. He thought about cleaning up, but decided against it. Let Justine do some of the work—it was her party.

The chocolate was still in the fondue pot.
Can you leave chocolate in a metal pot?
Not wanting to take any chances, he scraped it into a blue Corning ware bowl then opened the fridge. The sight of the leftover smoked meats made him smile.

He glanced out the window toward Marienne’s house. Her kitchen light was on, making him wondered if she was awake. Before he put the fondue pot in the sink, he gave the spoon a lick. The chocolate liquefied on his tongue, its sweetness counteracting the bitter taste that had been rising in his throat.

He headed off to check his emails. Without even bothering to switch on his lamp, he pressed the power button and waited as the soft glow of the monitor filled the room. He slumped in his chair and watched the count rise while his messages downloaded. Scanning the list of unread email, he saw one from Marienne. A rush of curiosity made him forget his dark mood.

Hi Daniel,

I wanted to check and see how the party was. I hope your guests liked everything and Justine was happy. You did an awesome job! Thanks for coming with me to Dean and DeLuca, and loaning me clothes, and driving me home…I thought I was supposed to be the one helping you, not the other way around…. Hope you’re less stressed now that it’s over, but if you’re not have some chocolate fondue, I promise it will help. Trust me. ;)

Talk soon,

M

He read the email a half dozen times.

He was so glad to hear from her it was ridiculous. It was only a paragraph, yet it made all the difference in the world to his mood. The fact that she’d taken the time to check and see how things had gone was sweet, the fact that she was thanking him, after all she’d done to help, was crazy, and the fact that she was telling him to have some chocolate was amusing, particularly considering the fact that he’d just had some. He started reading it again, then a small window popped up on the top of his screen.

“You have a friend request from [email protected] do you accept?”

He grinned and clicked ‘yes’. The IM list appeared on the left side of his screen. Sure enough ArtCGirl was lit up. Marienne was online. He clicked on her name, and typed into the window.

D: Are you here?

M: Yes.

D: I thought you hated the idea of instant messaging.

M: I do. Or rather I did.

D: What changed?

M: I wanted to know how tonight went and I didn’t feel like waiting to find out, plus I had a feeling you might be online. Pregnancy doesn’t exactly increase patience levels.

D: LOL

M: Seriously. And it’s not funny.

D: It’s a little funny.

M: :P

D: Wow, you learn fast!

M: Well, not that fast. I confess. I got the account 2 weeks ago.

D: Two weeks ago? I’m shocked. Devastated.

M: Don’t forget melodramatic.

D: That too.

M: I would have mentioned it, but I know you use yours mainly for work and I didn’t want to bother you.

D: You never bother me.

M: I guess I’ll have to try harder.
J

D: Give it your best shot.
J

M: Soooo??? How did it go?? Was Justine happy? Did your guests like the food? Did you require chocolate therapy?

D: It went well. The guests loved the food. And I only required minimal chocolate treatment.

M: Minimal chocolate treatment?

D: Yes, it involved a spoon and some licking. I’m feeling much better now.

M: LOL

D: You asked.

M: You didn’t mention Justine. Was she pleased with everything?

D: Everything but me, yes.

M: ?

D: She was very happy with the food and the fact that her guests were impressed. I was the only disappointment of the evening, but that’s not something that can be fixed by food. Not even chocolate.

M: Are you OK?

D: I’m fine.

M: You don’t sound fine.

D: I’m fine now.

M: You sure?

D: You’re sweet to ask, but yes, I’m sure.

M: I’m not sweet, I’m nosy.

D: You’re not nosy, I’m the one who brought it up.

M: You’re right, you are, so why don’t you explain it better. What happened? (And now I’m officially being nosy, but we’re going to ignore that.)

D: It’s no big deal. Justine was stressed and cranky and I was here, so she took it out on me. That’s what husbands are for, right?

M: That’s not what it said in my instruction manual, but if you say so.

D: Frank came with a manual? That’s convenient. Was there a warranty as well?

M: LOL I wish. But no.

D: Well, if I had a warranty I guess it expired.

M: Seriously, are you OK?

D: Seriously, I’m fine.

M: Why are you online so late anyway?

D: I’m often online this late. You’d know that if you’d told me that you had gotten an IM account.

M: True.

D: Why are you online so late?

M: You know I’m always up late. My friend Darla is the one who got me started on IMing, and she lives in Arizona, so with the time change I’ve been talking to her at night.

D: Remind me to thank Darla if I ever meet her.

M: She’d like that. She loves to take credit for modernizing me. She has always complained that I’m too old-fashioned.

D: I disagree. You’re neither too old-fashioned nor in need of modernizing.

M: Now who’s being sweet?

D: I’m not sweet. I’m just right all the time. Big difference.

M: LOL

D: That’s not funny.

M: ROFL

D: You know an awful lot of abbreviations for someone so new to IMing.

M: It’s an illusion, those are the only two I know.

D: Oh. In that case I’ll have to teach you some new ones.

M: Well, I know I couldn’t ask for a better teacher.

D: Brownnosing already?

M: Me? I would NEVER do that.

D: My eyebrow is raised, you just can’t tell.

M: Oh, I could tell.

D: LOL

M: So, teach me one, then I have to go to bed. Sleepy hormones are kicking in.

D: OK, I’ll teach you an important one.

M: Ready and waiting.

D: TTYS

M: Totally Tired Yawning Sleepily?

D: Clever, but no.

M: Tongue Tied Yellow Sheep?

D: You really are tired.

M: I told you!

D: Talk To You Soon

M: That makes far more sense than my guesses.

D: Little bit, yes.

M: Thanks for the IM lesson.

D: My pleasure.

M: Sorry you had a night that required chocolate intervention.

D: Thanks for making sure there was chocolate on hand.

M: Anytime.

D: Good night ArtCGirl. TTYS

M: TTYS (I think I’m going to do well in this class.)

D: I think you are too. Now go to bed.

M: You this bossy with all your students?

D: No, just my favorites.

M: Teacher’s pet. I like it.

D: Good night Marienne.

M: Good night Daniel.

The light next to her name went out. Daniel continued to stare at the screen, scrolling back and rereading their conversation.
You need some serious sleep.
He logged off and shut down his computer.

Images of Marienne flashed through his mind, but were eclipsed by the sound of Justine’s words. His stomach tensed.
Does Justine really disapprove of me that much? Am I a total and complete disappointment to her?
He hoped the answers were no, but a voice in his head told him they were both yes. He knew she wasn’t pleased with him. He didn’t want to let her down, but he was angry that she couldn’t accept him for who he was.

He yawned and sighed as he walked up the stairs to bed. He wasn’t going to figure it all out tonight, but he hoped he would figure it out some day. The sooner the better.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Daniel emerged from the bathroom, fully clothed, cuffing the sleeve of his shirt. Justine was sitting up in bed, a confused look on her face.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Getting dressed.” He sat on the edge of the bed and began to put on his socks.

Justine slid over, running her hand down his back. She hooked her thumb through one of his belt loops and attempted to pull him closer. “Come back to bed.” She purred, rubbing her head against his shoulder.

“I don’t want to come back to bed,” he said. “I want to go to Home Depot. The rain stopped, and I want to fix the leak on the porch roof.” He stretched a sock between his hands and pulled it onto his foot.

“Please.” She snaked her arm around him. “Come on.”

“Look,” he said. “I know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not going to work this time. We still need to talk about last night, and unless you want to do that, I’m going to the store. Sex is not the answer to this problem.”

He could tell that Justine was shocked. He was too. He’d never turned down makeup sex, but he wasn’t in the mood.

“Okay,” she said, her hands dropping off him. “Let’s talk.”

Daniel took a deep breath. “I know you don’t understand a lot of the choices I’ve made with my life.”

Justine snorted.

“Please don’t,” he said. “Let me say this.”

She stayed quiet.

“I also know you were hoping I’d pursue a more glamorous line of work, though honestly I don’t know why. You’ve always known that glamour is not something I want. I’ve hardly made a secret of that.”

She shrugged, but nodded, still silent.

“What you don’t seem to understand, at all, is that I chose teaching on purpose. I actually enjoy it. Sure it’s repetitive at times, and aspects of it can be boring, and sometimes it’s a thankless job. I’m aware of all of that, but those aren’t the reasons I do it. I do it because it means something to me.”

Daniel shifted toward her, still keeping a distance, but facing her. A part of him wanted to stop talking and just have sex, but he couldn’t. He needed her to hear him.

“A lot of kids grow up without someone who believes in them, without anyone there to encourage them to think for themselves, or go after what they want in life.”

He knew Justine understood what that was like, and she looked sad. Seeing that he’d gotten to her, he continued.

“I was lucky enough to grow up with a parent who did encourage me. Someone who did believe in me. And then I lost that person. Until I met you I no longer had any family. When I started attending NYU I was completely on my own, and I had accepted that. I had no choice. But over time New York became my home, and the community at NYU became a family, of sorts.”

Justine ran her fingers along the edge of the bed sheet.

“I felt honored when they offered me my position. And I still do. I want to be there for the students who don’t have someone in their life who’s saying ‘Hey, you’ve got really good ideas’ or telling them that they can make choices and they don’t have to settle.” He shifted and waited till she met his eyes. “I don’t for one minute look at my choices as though I’m settling. I like what I do. I’m proud of what I do. And based on the feedback I get and the number of requests from people who want to audit my classes I think it’s safe to say that other people think I’m doing a damned fine job.”

Justine looked surprised. He knew she had never heard him say these things before. She had apparently assumed that he had started teaching because it was the easiest thing to do, and she’d never asked him about it.

His eyes focused on hers. “If you truly take issue with my decision to teach, we have a real problem, because that’s not something that’s going to change. If you can’t be happy with it, or accept it.…”

Justine cut him off with a hand to his lips.

“Don’t,” he said, but she interrupted.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

His resolve softened, but he remained wary.

She rested her hand on his chest. “I didn’t realize teaching meant so much to you. I guess I never asked you about it, and I probably should have. If you feel that strongly I can’t ask you to give it up. I wouldn’t do that.”

He relaxed and leaned closer.

She narrowed her eyes. “Not that that means I don’t hope someday you’ll decide you’re ready to do something else. I still think you have more to offer than teaching, but I’m not going to push you. You clearly know what you want, and as much as I like to control things I can understand that you need to make this decision and do what makes you happy.” She ran her hand down the buttons on his shirt. “I’m not a total bitch, you know. I do understand the concept of making your own choices. And you’ve always supported mine, so I’ll try to do a better job of supporting yours. Okay?” She looked into his eyes.