Meeting Max (6 page)

Chapter 6

Rick saw the crisp white moon through the windowpanes, covered with snow crystals. Sparks jumped and snapped in the fireplace, and the flames lit the room with a golden glow that shimmered on their faces as they kissed.

“Rick, you know I’m a virgin, right?”

“That’s good, Julie, ‘cause so am I. You’re the girl I have been waiting for.”

They made love, expressing their emotions with their bodies and hearts. They were slow and gentle for a while until they felt their bodies explode with passion, which took them to a place neither of them had ever known.

The fireplace kept them warm through the night, but now it was morning, and the roaring flames of passion soon gave way to the glowing embers of affection. Only their faces were cold, especially their noses, but their bodies were warm under a white down comforter as they held each other close. They squinted as the sun peeked through the frosty windowpanes. Shiny icicles dripped outside and pointed downward like shimmering daggers.

Rick dressed and waited for Julie as she slid into her jeans. She wore a dark blue woolen sweater with white snowflakes knitted into the design. They walked to the kitchen, which was busy with the sounds of clanging pans and sizzling food cooking, a sharp contrast to the tenderness of the night. Hot cereal and platters of pancakes, eggs, fruit, bacon, warm biscuits, and steaming hot coffee surrounded them. They were starving and had a bit of everything.

As they sipped their coffee, Julie leaned forward and whispered, “I love you, Rick.”

“I love you too, Julie.” He wished he’d said it in the privacy of their room instead of at a breakfast table, with other people.

“All this whispering.” Julie giggled, leaning toward him. “It’s like we’re back in the library.”

“It was warmer in the library.”

“It was much warmer than the library for me last night, Rick.”

“Do you know what’s on my mind right now?”

“What?”

Rick put his arm around her waist, drawing her near and whispering so close he hoped his breath would tickle her skin. “I feel like pulling you close and giving you one long kiss that will last forever.”

“Honey, that’s so sexy.”

“Are you ready to ski?” he asked, grinning.

“I am.” She beamed.

They walked out of the lodge and rented boots and skis. They knew nothing about skiing and the mountains were intimidating. Rick looked at Julie and saw the trepidation on her face. She appeared scared, but willing.

“There’s always the fireplace,” he reminded her. “We would have the whole lodge to ourselves. Everyone else will be skiing. It would just be us.”

“You never know what might happen,” she said, smiling.

“You sure know how to tempt a guy.” He moaned, struggling to get both pairs of skis over his shoulders.

“You know, I can carry my own skis.”

“That’s okay.” A moment later, he dropped all four skis in the snow.

Julie laughed and kissed him.

“Last night my lips were covered with hot kisses,” she recalled. “Now they’re like ice.”

“Okay, Miss Frozen
Lips.” Rick grumbled as he tried to maneuver their skis on his shoulders. “When I went skiing on that small hill in New York, I tried to use the rope tow to get to the top of the hill. After falling off a few times, someone told me to keep my skis straight, in the grooves of the ski tracks, and gradually increase my grip on the rope so it would slowly glide me upward.”

“Did that work?”

“Yes, and when I got to the top, I stood, panicked, as I looked down and wondered how I was going to get to the bottom. A man next to me said, ‘Just point your skis downward and go,’ which I did. It was a nonstop disaster and the worst advice ever.”

“At least you tried, Rick. We could stay at the lodge for a while, sit by the fire, and have a hot chocolate, then take a lesson later, which would be okay with me. I’m not in a rush.”

“Let’s try taking the chair lift up and then down again. We can look things over that way, then take a rest by the fireplace, then take a group ski lesson. What do you think?”

“You sound so eager. Okay, sounds great.”

They headed to the chairlift and watched how other people got on. They told the lift attendant they were new at this.

“No problem. I’ll slow it down,” he assured them.

The attendant slowed it down and brought the chair almost to a stop. He held the back of the chair firmly and kept it steady as they sat down. Their skis dangled in front of them and soon they were off into the air. They lowered the safety bar and placed their feet on the ski rest.

They were apprehensive as they got near the top and nervously raised the safety bar. The couple in the chair in front of them made exiting look easy. When it was their turn, Julie and Rick slid off and rolled haphazardly into the snow.

They squirmed and twisted their bodies into awkward positions, laughing as they attempted to get up. Somehow, the skis, poles, and their arms and legs were tangled together. They finally made it without any idea how it happened.

Rick looked at Julie. She looked so lovely with beams of sunlight dancing off her wet, snow drenched face. They took their skis off and walked to a small lodge with a cafeteria not far from the lift. It was crowded with people standing in line for food and drinks.

They each had a hot chocolate and exhaled the steamy vapors as they sat by a large window in the unheated lodge, watching people effortlessly gliding their way down the slope.

Rick was jealous. They could do it, and he couldn’t. After a while, it didn’t look too difficult. The snow was packed powder, and there were no mounds of snow to act as obstacles. He thought that even if he fell a few times, he would still make it down.

“I’m going to try it, Julie. I think I can get down. I may fall, but I’ll get down. You take the chairlift down. I’ll meet you at the base lodge by the fire, then we can sign up for a lesson.”

“You sure you want to do it? It doesn’t look that easy. Don’t do it, Rick, please.”

“Well, the snow is kind of flat and powdery. There’s no ice around, so it should be okay. I’ll take it slow. See you in a little while. Love you.”

“I love you too, but please be careful, please…”

***

Rick was scared, but determined. He put his skis together and gave himself an easy push. His skis parted instantly and he felt his corduroy pants stretching out to each side. Then he heard the rip. His pants were torn at the crotch, leaving a gaping hole.

He winced as he felt the cold air rush between his legs and up into the part of him that was usually warm. He fell, nonstop, as his body turned over in the snow. It no longer mattered how he got down. He just wanted to be at the bottom as soon as possible.

Despite his efforts, Rick slid down the mountain on his backside and only had one or two brief moments of standup skiing. The snow covered every part of him like a thick wet blanket. His long johns were soaked along with his corduroys, and his hands were wet and cold as the snow melted inside his gloves. The coldest part of his body was his uncovered crotch, and he only had his icy gloves to cover the open tear to protect him from the wind.

Snowflakes were hitting his face and piling up. Some of them melted inside his eyes. He brushed the snow off his frozen cheeks with his stiff, wet gloves while skiers flew past him. Somehow, he made it to the bottom.

He stood by the chairlift and waited for Julie.

Skiing is not intuitive, at least not for me. There’s no question about that.

He waited over an hour as he looked at the trail of empty chairs chugging their way down, but no Julie. Voices behind him caught his attention. He turned and saw a group of people gathering and pointing up at the mountain as the ski patrol slowly and cautiously edged its way down, guiding a toboggan with someone strapped in it.

Julie?

Soon the toboggan was in front of him with Julie wrapped tightly in it, exposing only her face, showing her frozen red cheeks and watery eyes.

“Did you get down all right?” she asked, her lips trembling.

“Julie, why would you ask me that. Just look at you. Why did you try it?” He took off his gloves and warmed her cheeks with the back of his hand.

“You did. I thought maybe I could too.”

Rick couldn’t help but blame himself.

***

They drove back to Greenwich Village after visiting a local orthopedist. Julie’s right ankle was broken, but not her spirit. She had a cast up to her knee, walked with crutches for the next six weeks, and never complained once.

They spent that time doing schoolwork and going to movies, restaurants, and music clubs. They always got preferential treatment when they waited in lines because Julie was on crutches, her right leg a few inches off the floor. She looked so helpless.

They went to an opera one night, another first for both of them. It was
La Boehme,
a tearful story of love. Somehow, it was just what they needed, an opportunity to identify with the mixture of love and pain shared by others.

Julie spotted the tenderness that the lovers felt in
La Boehme
before Rick did. She squeezed his hand at the exact moment Rodolfo took Mimi’s hand and said, ‘How cold your hand. Let me warm it into life.’

After the opera, they went to Bobo’s restaurant in Chinatown. It was a small place with only ten tables, slightly larger than a hole in the wall, at 23 Pell Street.

A lot of aspiring actors, actresses, and singers were servers and they had the look of show business about them. They were either attractive or distinctive looking, with perfect teeth, creatively styled hair, and up-front personalities. Julie and Rick sat next to each other, their bodies touching while they shared dumplings with vegetables and steaming hot green tea.

She is so beautiful.
Our life together is just perfect. I’ll love her forever and never let her go.

Rick asked Julie to move in with him and she agreed.

Chapter 7

It was spring, but the chill of winter lingered on and the damp, cold, rainy weather made Julie’s ankle ache. The cast had been removed, but there was swelling and she walked with a cane.

They decided to drive a few hours north to Belleayre to breathe in the clean, dry mountain air. They planned to explore the area, stay at a lodge, and relax by the fire, sipping steaming hot chocolates, for their overnight getaway.

They left the city, leaving the high risers and congestion behind as they drove toward the serenity of the mountains. Once again, Rick was awed by how pretty and sweet Julie was as she sat beside him and thought of how lucky he was to have her in his life.

He often caught guys at school giving her the ‘once over,’ but Julie had chosen
him,
Rick Newman.

Julie was quiet, as if lost in thought, but suddenly blurted, “Rick, we have to talk.” Her voice was shaky and she seemed troubled. Rick’s first thought was that she wanted to break up with him, and he felt a terrifying pang in his chest. He was not prepared for her next words.

“I’m pregnant.”

Julie can’t be pregnant. I’m too young to be a father. It would ruin everything. Fuck! She’d have to have an abortion.

Rick drove to a quiet, wooded area and headed toward some skinny white birch trees and parked.

“Julie, are you sure? Have you seen a doctor?”

She started crying and couldn’t stop. When she tried to talk, she couldn’t catch her breath. She bit her lower lip hard and slammed her fist down on the dashboard.

“I am pregnant, Rick!” Her voice was high-pitched, near a shriek, and she looked as though she were angry at her own body.

Rick pulled her close and listened.

“I didn’t want anything to change,” she said, sobbing. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I waited one day, then another and another. I’m petrified of what my mother would think. I pushed it out of my mind as if it never happened, but the idea of a baby in me is always there. I thought about you, us…”

“Relax. There’s nothing we can’t handle together. I love you, Julie, but why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I thought about telling you for days but stopped myself. I didn’t want anything to spoil what we have. First, I wasn’t sure if I was pregnant, but I really did know. Things were changing in my body and I bought a home pregnancy kit that confirmed it. I wanted to wait a while longer before I told you so I could still have the peace we shared and take my mind off the anguish I felt. The idea of my mother finding out tormented me.”

Rick looked at her trembling hands.

“My mother would kill me, disown me,” she rambled, “and I could never go back to that town again. You don’t know my mother. Her girls had to be perfect, and for me to have a baby with a Jewish father and not be married, that would be the end for me. I would never see my family again.

“I love you so much. It feels so good knowing I have our baby inside me, but the time is not right, and I don’t know what to do. Kiss me, Rick. I don’t want to think about it. Let’s lose ourselves here for a few minutes, as if nothing changed. Let’s be like we were. Kiss me, and don’t say anything.”

Rick kissed her. His face was wet with Julie’s tears, and he felt her body trembling under her jacket.

I cannot have a baby in my life. Not now.

Her face was shiny and wet from crying. Rick looked into her eyes and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. He didn’t know what to think.

He knew they took precautions, so how could this happen? Was it intentional?
Oh, except that first time. It might have happened then.

They held each other and talked. She bit her lip again until it was sore as more tears rolled down her face. Rick’s breath quickened.

She has to have an abortion, she just has to.

Rick sat quietly and stared at the leafless white birches. He saw tiny birds on the branches at the beginning of their lives, with the new birth of spring. He looked at Julie, her head down, her eyes red and swollen. She was quiet, drained. He took her cold hand, put it to his lips, kissed it, and kept it there.

“We’ll work things out. Everything will be okay.”

They turned toward Manhattan and talked along the way. Julie’s tears subsided.

“What should we do, Rick?”

“Be happy that we have each other. We’ll work it out.”

“But how? My parents are old school and not only ‘old school’ but ‘small town old school,’ where everybody knows everything about what’s going on, along with whom and when and why. There are no secrets in Newark, none!”

“Julie, we’re smart. We’ll work it out.”

“Tell me what to do, I can’t handle this!” She sobbed again.

“First, let’s try to relax. We have time to figure it out and then everything will fall into place. What do you want to do later this afternoon, when we get back to the Village?”

“I want to go to church.”

“Church, of course, yes, and I’ll go with you,” Rick blurted out. “I promise I—”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Julie interrupted, looking straight at him.

“I
do
want to and I want to do it
with you.
”

“Have you ever been to church before?”

“Never, but I want to go with you. I will do anything you want, anything. All the choices will be yours, and I’ll help you. We can work out anything together.”

“Okay, it
would
make me feel better, going to church with you.” She rubbed her red eyes.

God, how did I let this happen?

Rick was scared. He was too young, way too young to be a father. His mind was racing. No education meant menial jobs. He wanted to be a college professor. He wanted, more than anything else, to be independent and have a PhD after his name.

***

When they got back to the city, they walked to the Church of St. Joseph in Greenwich Village, near NYU. The church was empty, except for two elderly women lighting candles in front of a statue of a lovely woman dressed in a long blue and white garment. Her arms were outstretched in a welcoming, motherly gesture and a white veil covered her head.

They walked to one of the front pews. Julie stood silently for a moment, then genuflected, entered the pew, and knelt on the padded kneeler in front of the bench.

Rick felt awkward in the church. Everything was unfamiliar, but he knelt alongside Julie as she prayed. Her hands were clasped in front of her lips and her eyes were closed. Tears slid down her cheeks. Her face was solemn.

After a few moments, Julie stood and motioned Rick to follow her toward a side altar and the statue of the woman dressed in blue. The plaque at the bottom of the statue read
Mother
Mary
. Julie lit a candle, then knelt and prayed again.

As they left the church, Julie’s face lit up, and she smiled at Rick. She explained that she prayed to St. Jude and to the Virgin Mary.

“I love you, Rick. Thank you for coming with me. We’ll work things out,” she said, painting on a smile.

Later that night, they walked to Cafe Reggio on MacDougal Street to sip frothy cappuccinos. They sat by the large plate glass window surrounded by strips of green tapestry and looked out to the street as they listened to the music of Simon and Garfunkel playing quietly in the background.

Rick sat motionless at the table with his head down. He took a sip of his coffee and peeked up at Julie. “Do you want to
have
the baby? Please, let me know what
you
want.”

“I have to. There’s no other choice for me. I wouldn’t do
anything
to hurt our baby if that’s what you mean. It would be wrong.”

“Okay, so that part is settled. Whatever we do, we will do together. Do you want to get married?” He tried to take back what he just said, but it was too late. The words were out.

Thankfully, she took it in good humor. “Rick, if that’s a proposal, you have to do better than that.” She glanced around the café. “I want a more romantic atmosphere than this.”

“What’s wrong with Reggio’s? It will make them famous. I can see the headlines now: ‘Man proposes to hot woman over hot cappuccino.’”

Julie laughed. “First of all, I’m not that hot, and secondly, Reggio’s is famous enough. Save your proposal for Washington Square Park at sunset. We both know we’ll get married. I want to be your wife more than anything else, but not now. My head is too messed up, and I’m afraid of my parents and what they would say.”

“Honey, relax. I don’t know how to say this or what you’ll think of me for saying it, but tell me if you want to keep the baby.”

Julie paused and looked down. “I don’t know, Rick. I don’t know.”

“We have time. Everything has a solution, and we’ll find it. I’ll always be here for you. We’re one, and we’ll always be that way.”

What is she thinking? She already said she would have the baby. Would she want to keep it? Give it up for adoption?

Nothing was certain.

Over the next few days, Rick and Julie started to sort things out. Since the baby was scheduled to be born over the long Christmas break, things would be easier. They wouldn’t have to balance school with the baby’s birth. Julie would tell her friends they’d eloped and gotten married.

Rick was determined he would not give up his plan to get his PhD. He hoped Julie would choose to give up the baby for adoption. If not, he would be more assertive.

The next morning, Julie was up early. She went out for a while and when she returned, she ran to Rick’s arms in tears. She tried to speak, but couldn’t catch her breath. He held her tight, rocking her back and forth.

“Rick, you were sleeping. I was up all night. I went to church and spoke to Father Benson. Oh Rick, what did I do? He’s one of the older priests at St. Joseph’s, and he wasn’t very nice to me.” She groaned, pulling Rick even tighter, and took a deep breath. “He was stern, scolded me like a child.” Her voice cracked as she spoke. “He told me I had sinned for committing a sexual act outside of marriage.”

Rick’s eyes were shut tight and his lips clenched as he held her. He felt her tears rub against his cheeks. He wasn’t sure what to say. He tried to calm her quivering body by holding her close and rubbing her back.

“Relax, honey. Everything will be all right,” he whispered. “I didn’t think the church did those things anymore.”

“They do,” Julie snapped. “I needed a younger priest, someone who was more understanding of me and not just feeding me the same old crap. Father Benson told me I would have to repent my sin in Confession and promise not to sin again if I wanted to be forgiven by God and receive Holy Communion.”

Rick held her tight and rocked with her as he kissed her tears. He stepped back for a moment and looked at her. Her eyes were red and her lips were tightly pressed together. He started to kiss her, but she pulled away.

“He went on and on, Rick, berating me. I couldn’t stop crying. He told me crying wouldn’t help me and I should have thought before I sinned. He was just spouting out the church’s damn dogma as if he were a machine. But it was true. I should have thought of the consequences instead of thinking our love would always make things all right.” Julie paused and wiped her eyes. “He told me the baby must be baptized in the Catholic Church, and if I marry you, a Jew, you would have to promise to rear our children as Catholics.”

Rick closed his eyes, shook his head in disbelief, and heaved a heavy sigh. He felt his eyes watering as a tear made its way down his cheek.

“He scared me!” Julie screamed, tangling her fingers in her hair. “The church is harsh, not kind. I ran out in tears and felt a sharp pain in my stomach, like someone was punching me. It was a message from God. What did I do? I thought Father Benson would try to help me and be understanding. That bastard, all he did was lay a guilt trip on me and make me feel like a slut.” Rick caught Julie’s gaze as she threw her arms around him and kissed him for a long time.

“The priest said the words my mother would say to me, that I was a whore. She would be just like him. She wouldn’t understand that we were in love. All she would be concerned about would be the gossip it would cause in Newark and how I shamed her by not following the teachings of my faith. ‘Be a good Christian woman’ was all I ever heard. You know I’m not religious, Rick, but there’s something deep down inside of me. It’s just…”

“We’re together, Julie. For better or worse. You will never have to do anything alone. Nothing will split us. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

“I don’t know. Are we ready to have a child together? What about school? Getting our degrees? Getting
your
PhD? This will kill our future.

“We’d be living in a room somewhere with your father supporting us. It’s all my fault, Rick. I should have stopped us. I shouldn’t have let it happen. I won’t have an abortion, but I can’t keep the baby. That wouldn’t be fair to our baby. Every child should be wanted.”