Meeting Mr. Right (16 page)

Chapter Fourteen

K
nife, meet heart.

Broken trust was a sharp weapon, and it hit Ben right in the chest, its ragged edges cutting deeply.

He scrambled backward, jumping to his feet, nearly knocking Vee—
Veronica Jayne
—over in the process.

“Wha—?” she mumbled incoherently, her eyes heavily lidded and her full lips half-pursed, poised for a kiss.

The initial pain and shock Ben felt at seeing her name turned to humiliation and then anger in a matter of seconds, rolling from one emotion to another like a snowball gaining both strength and momentum as it spun down a hill.

“I’ll bet you and your friends had a good laugh at my expense, didn’t you?” he bit out, spinning on his heels so that he didn’t have to look at her.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She sounded perplexed and bewildered and a little hurt herself.

Like she had any right to be.

“How could you?”

“How could I what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,
Veronica Jayne.
”

“What did you just call me?”

“Veronica Jayne. That’s your name, isn’t it?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“You must really think I’m an idiot.”

“No, Ben. I never once, not even for a moment, thought that you were an idiot.”

“And yet I played your little game. I told you all my deepest secrets so that you could make fun of me with your friends.”

“I never laughed at you.” Now she sounded angry.

Angry?
What right did she have to be angry? That was
his
emotion.

“I didn’t know.”

Really? She was going to try to
lie
her way out of this now? He narrowed his eyes on her and tilted his head, daring her to continue.

She blinked several times and her gaze dropped away. How much more obvious could she be?

Guilty as charged.

“I really didn’t know, Ben,” she continued, her voice cracking under the strain of speaking. “I only found out just moments before the call for the fire came in.”

“What does that matter?” he snapped. “You should have told me right away. You should have told me as soon as you found out.”

He wasn’t at all convinced she was telling him the truth about when she’d discovered he was the BJ she’d been emailing. It was gut-wrenching even to consider that she might have known all along. That she had played him like a puppet, making him into a fool.

He certainly felt like a fool.

And even if she hadn’t known, as she was claiming, she still should have come forward the moment she’d discovered the truth. But Vee Bishop apparently didn’t care for the truth. And anyway, he’d known all along that she didn’t care for him. Whatever grudge she held against him, she’d paid him back for it—with interest.

“I can’t believe I fell for you. F-fell for your ruse,” he stammered, correcting himself. “Well, I have got news for you.”

He turned back to her, crouching down and tilting his head so their lips were as close as they had been in the moments before he’d seen the name in her helmet.

She sat frozen to the spot. He couldn’t even feel her breath this time, but he knew his own was quick and ragged, and his heart was pumping overtime. There was only one thing left for him to say.

“Game over.”

* * *

Vee folded the last of her shirts and tucked them into the suitcase lying open on her bed. That was it, then. Everything she needed to leave Serendipity behind.

And with it, her heart.

She couldn’t believe that she could get this close to happiness and then have it be ripped out from underneath her. Every time she closed her eyes, she remembered Ben—his forehead touching hers, how strong his arms were around her, the warmth and anticipation of his lips hovering over hers.

The fury that scorched his face when he had learned the truth about her.

And what could she say? She
had
known that Ben was BJ. That she’d found out only moments before the emergency had been called seemed irrelevant. Ben would never have listened to any rationale she might have given for not coming clean with the shocking news.

He was convinced she’d betrayed him.

And wasn’t that partially her fault, too? No, she hadn’t deliberately deceived him, but she’d spent years holding on to a grudge, refusing to follow God’s commandment to forgive. After the way she’d treated him for so long, could she blame him for thinking she’d play this kind of cruel trick on him?

She moved to her sock drawer and scooped the entire contents of the drawer into her arms and then tossed them haphazardly into the suitcase, using the socks to fill the nooks and crevices of her suitcase.

Oh, Ben. They
knew
each other, both as Ben and Vee and as BJ and Veronica Jayne. They’d shared their thoughts, their feelings, their deepest hopes and dreams through their email letters. They’d shared a kiss as Ben and Vee—and she’d thought, in that moment before he’d seen her full name on her helmet, that there would be more than just one simple kiss between them, that she’d read a lifetime in his bronze-green eyes.

She’d believed the unbelievable. And how stupid was that?

She was in love with Ben Atwood. If Ben was BJ, all the better, right? And she was Veronica Jayne. That should be a good thing. Inside her heart, she really was that person—the one he’d said he cared for. The one he’d encouraged in the Lord more times than she could count.

And now—thanks to one big, tangled misunderstanding—it was all ruined.

She had to look toward the future—toward the Sacred Heart Mission, where she’d be out of Serendipity and out of Ben’s life. He’d never leave her heart or her mind, but hopefully her leaving would make things easier on him.

That was the least she could do, with the mess she had made of both of their lives.

* * *

“Are you out of your mind?” Zach spotted Ben while he did bench presses—two hundred pounds. Benching the heavy weight was getting easier. His life was a blooming disaster and it didn’t look like it was going to get better anytime soon, but all the angst had done wonders for his workout routine.

Not that that was any comfort to his heart. How was he going to live without Vee?

“I’ve been benching two hundred for a while now. It’s no big deal.”

“I wasn’t talking about the weights. I was talking about the woman. You are seriously just going to let her walk out of your life?”

“She isn’t going anywhere that I know of. At least not at the moment.”

Their Spanish project was finished, on his side, at least. Just this morning, he’d emailed her the final presentation for her to accept or reject, as she pleased. He was done with it.

And then, who knew? Eventually, she was headed for stateside mission work.

What would happen to the plans they’d been making? He sighed inwardly. It would be best for all involved if he scrapped the whole thing—started over and applied for a completely different mission. Working alongside Vee would be pure torture for him now.

“So what are you waiting for?” Zach prodded, taking the bar from him and placing it in the rack. “Until you can bench two-fifty?”

“I’m not waiting for anything. I’m done with it.”

“Then you’re an idiot.”

“Thank you very much,” Ben said with more than a little bitterness in his voice. “I think we’ve already clearly established that point. I was played, and I fell for it.” His flower girl. Having difficulty finding herself. Letting her hair down. The clues were all there, and he hadn’t seen them. How stupid could he be?

“Fell for
her,
you mean.”

“Whatever.”

“So, I repeat, what are you going to do about it? How long is it going to take you to admit that you need her in your life and you’re willing to forgive her for whatever it is that you think she’s done to you?”

“What do you mean, what I
think
she’s done to me?”

“I mean you haven’t really given her the benefit of the doubt, and I think she deserves at least that much. From what you’ve told me, she said that she only learned it was you right before we got called away for the emergency. She wouldn’t have had time to digest the shock, much less figure out a way to tell you anything.”

Ben grunted and rolled to a sitting position. He didn’t want to admit that his partner might have a valid point.

“What if the roles were reversed? What if she’d been the one to send her picture to you?”

“So what if she had? I would have spoken up right away and let her know I was BJ.”

“Would you really? Because if it were me, I would have been reeling from the shock of finding out. Of all the women in the whole wide world, of all the places she could be living, she’s right here in Serendipity with you—and not only that, but you guys even work at the same fire station together.”

“What are the odds?”

“Exactly. Which is why I think Vee deserves a chance. She’s a good woman, Ben, and I think deep down in your heart you know it. You have to admit, you’ve had your share of dating disasters. But maybe this is why none of those women worked out—so you’d be free when the right one came along. I can’t think of a better person for you to end up with.”

Ben moved to the free weights and started his biceps curls, not even bothering to keep a count in his head.

“Stop meddling,” he protested in a low voice.

“Okay, I’ll shut up. But consider this. You really liked Veronica Jayne. You and she seemed like really close friends. You understood each other. You had the same goals and ambitions and dreams. Friendship is really important in a relationship, take it from me.”

“Apparently I
am
taking it from you,” he growled.

“I’m not finished. So on one hand you have Veronica Jayne, and then on the other hand there is Vee—you two have sparks flying so high that the fire department would have a hard time containing you.”

That much was true, which was why Ben thought it was a good idea to stay as far away from Vee as possible. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to keep his resolve once their eyes met or he saw her beautiful smile.

“What I’m saying is this—Vee and Veronica Jayne are one in the same person. How much more of a blessing are you looking for, buddy?”

Ben felt like he’d been flash-frozen. He dropped the weights to his side and stared openmouthed at Zach.

“She made a mistake—fine. Is it really unforgivable? Is holding on to your grudge worth losing your chance of being happy? You love her, you dolt. So go get her, and stop being so stubborn.”

Zach was right. What was he doing lifting weights with a sweaty guy friend when he could be in the company of Vee—Veronica Jayne?

He hadn’t given her the benefit of the doubt. Trust went both ways. He’d been so shocked by the revelation that Vee was Veronica Jayne that he hadn’t given her a chance to explain. She was probably as stunned as he was by the discovery. Maybe she should have told him, but like Zach said, it was a mistake. He’d made plenty of his own.

Letting her go would be the biggest mistake of all.

He had to find her. Now.

“I’m out of here,” Ben said, wiping the sweat off his forehead with the towel draped around his neck.

Zach laughed. “It’s about time.”

Ben quickly showered and dressed and headed straight for Emerson’s Hardware. It was early in the day, but he hoped he’d be able to catch Vee alone so he’d be able to talk to her and clear up this whole mess once and for all.

As he walked, he tried phoning her cell, but she wouldn’t pick up. She’d probably blocked his number. She obviously didn’t want to talk to him—not that he could blame her after the way he’d reacted.

That only strengthened his resolve to make things right. And then he would kiss Vee senseless and prove to her once and for all that as Ben and as BJ, as Vee and Veronica Jayne, he was in love with her.

When he got to Emerson’s, he went straight to the gardening department, but she wasn’t there, so he asked for her at the front desk.

She’d
quit
Emerson’s Hardware just the day before. The news struck him mute. No two weeks’ notice. No explanations about where she was going or why she had decided to up and resign so suddenly. Just an apology and a farewell.

She was leaving.

A dark pit grew in the center of his stomach and filled with raw dread. Vee couldn’t leave. Or more accurately, she couldn’t leave
him,
though he’d certainly given her no reason to stay.

He jogged as fast as his legs would carry him over to her apartment. He had to catch her before she left for good.

But he ran into a dead end there, too. Her rent had been paid until the end of the month, and her apartment had been emptied. No forwarding address. No hints as to where she might have gone.

He was winded and his heart was pumping overtime, but that didn’t stop him from making a sprint for Vee’s father’s house. Surely she would stop in there to say goodbye. And if she wasn’t there, she would have to have told her father where she was going or at least how to get in touch with her.

“I’m sorry, son,” her father said when he opened the door to Ben. “Vee only told me she’d be in touch after she was settled. I wish I could tell you more. Here, though—she left you this note. Maybe that has a clue to where she is.”

Ben took the folded piece of lined notebook paper and opened it, holding his breath as he scanned the contents. It was short and to the point, with beautiful, measured handwriting that for some reason reminded him of the emails he shared with Veronica Jayne.

Dear Ben,

I know that nothing I can say will change what happened, but I want you to know how truly sorry I am for the way things went down.

Since I don’t know whether you will even speak to me or not, I’m leaving you this letter, which in a way seems oddly appropriate. I want to let you know that nothing that happened between us was make-believe. What I felt for you—feel for you—is and will always be real.

For what it’s worth, I really care about you.

Love,

Vee

Stunned, Ben left Vee’s father’s house and walked aimlessly, eventually finding himself in the park. He slumped onto a bench and held his head in his hands.