Melissa And The Cowboy (Western Night Series 1) (22 page)

*****

My life hadn’t turned out exactly the way I had imagined it.  I had been married for five years and yet every single day brought a new hell.  My husband was becoming more and more of a stranger. 

I looked in the mirror at the bruise that he had left from his last rampage.  I hated to go out like this, let alone meet my friends while looking like this.  I couldn’t keep telling them I was sick or  I was busy or they would be here at the house.  I didn’t want that either. 

I quickly attempted to put concealer on to cover the purple bruise I had that still stung every time I touched it.

Rafael was my husband for five years.  We met when I waitress at a diner.  We seemed to have a whirlwind relationship back then, and now all we seemed to do was argue.  This week seemed to be one of the worst weeks for our fighting.  I wasn’t exactly sure why everything that I did would set him off, but it was.  I knew that he had been cheating on me and perhaps that was a part of what was going on, but every time I tried to confront him it only caused a bigger fight. 

My green eyes seemed as if they were ready to cry as I tried hard to rub my foundation and concealer in to make it look as if I had  the perfect natural skin.  At least it covered the bruises, but still I didn’t like the feeling of how I had to live with makeup all over my face because I was being hit at home.  I cringed as I touched my bruised, which was a painful reminder that Rafael, my husband, had a very good right punch.

I knew reality was that he would come home saying he was sorry and that he would try to hug me.  I wasn’t sure how many more times I would take him back and forgive him.  Everything always followed the fact that if I was a good girl or a good wife that this wouldn’t have happened. 

My life was far from simple.  I had encountered a lot in my life but never did I think that Rafael and I would end up like this.  It horrified me to think that I was married to a monster who seemed to try to hunt me down by slapping my face every time he thought I did wrong.  He never showed remorse for what he did, but he threatened that if I tried to get a divorce he would ruin me or even kill me.  I was scared of him.  He never should any remorse for his action which petrified me even more.  My heart told me that I deserved better, and I knew that I deserved better too, but I was afraid I would lose my life.

My eyes caught the wedding picture we had on my dresser.  Rafael was a lawyer and seemed to live up to the part.  He seemed to be able to justify how he treated me for the fact that I dissevered this.  I wasn’t sure what to think anymore.  His black slick hair and freshly shaved face in the picture was just a mask for a monster that was hidden behind it.  His dark hollowed eyes reminded me that he had no soul.  Never once during our wedding did he smile.  I had been smiling nonstop back then, but I guess that was the fact I didn’t really know what was in store for me.  He looked like he was more dressed for a funeral and someone he loved died.  I guess that day as we had said our vows someone did die and that was me. 

Both of my parents told me at a very young age to find someone who would take care of me.  Rafael was willingly able to do that.  He had been the type of man that was successful in their eyes since he was a lawyer.  I look back now and realize that he could never take care of me.  My heart didn’t even belong to him anymore. 

I quickly put my black dress on and tried hard not to touch any of my bruises.  Before I met up with my friends this afternoon at lunch, I had to go to work.  I wasn’t really thrilled about this, but at least I got to spend time with Tony.

Tony had been my best friend since I could remember.  He was the opposite of Rafael, but I loved him.  Every now and again we would start an affair, but lately he knew there was something more going on.  I walked into work late and hoping no one noticed that I had been. 

The boardroom was filled with the meeting going on for the investment firm that Tony had run.  Although he was a self-made billionaire, this investment firm was only a front to cover the fact he was really one of the head thugs in the area.  Success came with a price and the price seemed to come with the territory of blood washed hands. 

His short black hair was perfectly shaved and I loved to rub my hands threw them whenever we had been in bed together. 

The new deadlines were just a guarantee of why I should have been there earlier, but as Tony’s eyes spotted me, I didn’t want to deal with the fact that I was in a drastically bad mood or the fact I was late.  I didn’t want to deal with the circumstances. 

I realized that at work my main responsibility was to make sure the drug money that was coming through the warehouses and making sure both the drugs and the money disappeared.  Most of the time, I was the one that handled the shipments and pickups since Tony said that I was the only one that he trusted with the information.  I had made it look like it was imported coffee coming for a high-end client.

“Good morning, Naomi.  Where have you been hiding?” Tony asked.

“Would you like to tell me why you are late this morning?”

“Tony, can you leave it alone.  I have a lot of things I am trying to cover.  I don’t think I really need to explain why I am late right at this moment.  I have a coffee shipment coming in and if our clients don‘t get it, we will all be in really big trouble.”

Tony let out a sigh.  “This has to stop Naomi!  You can’t keep letting him do this to you.  This isn’t the way anyone should be treated.”

My face flushed with sudden embarrassment.

“Stop it, Tony!”

I tried hard to focus on the coffee and drugs coming in and to make the pickup and delivery become smoothly.  I didn’t need the cops finding out so every detail had to be planned over and over.

“Naomi, I would like to speak to you after you finish that pickup and delivery sheet.” Tony said.

My stomach instantly twisted into knots. It never was a good sign when Tony said something like that.  I knew this time he wasn’t going to take me in his office where we would have a love tryst going on. 

I nodded as I held my head in shame.  I didn’t seem to be able to meet his eyes but instead kept trying to do what I was doing.

I watched as everyone else went back to work.  I finally put my papers down and went into his office. Tony was sitting behind his large mahogany desk that seemed as almost overkill.

“You really need to be on the ball, Naomi!  I knew everything is going hectic, but the cops are crawling everywhere.  If we make one fatal mistake it is all of us!  Can you at least pay attention instead of what you have been doing?  We have to hide the drugs and money.  I know you haven’t been on the ball at all, but I would hate to have to get rid of you.”

I knew Tony’s lecture was coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it.  There was I was nodding and knowing that he had been right, even though they hit home.  I knew I was close to being fired because Rafael and I had been fighting again. There was nothing I could tell Tony that would change his mind, he knew how Rafael treated me and constantly he asked if he wanted him to off Rafael.

I swallowed hard as I looked up at him. I couldn’t tell him what exactly was going on at home or he would have killed Rafael and I would have lost him too.  I loved Tony, even though it was an affair.  I tried hard not to keep him in the middle of what was going on at home. 

He looked at me as if waiting for my reply. I was sitting in the chair staring at him.  I knew whatever I told him wouldn’t be good enough. He hadn’t been just my boss and lover, but he was also my best friend.  He entrusted me in stuff that he never entrusted with anyone.  I guess trust was hard to come by when you were a self-made billionaire and thug.

“I am sorry, Tony. It won’t happen again.” I stuttered.

“What exactly is it that has been bothering you, Naomi? I hate to get rid of you; you are a good employee when you actually have your act together.  This isn’t like you!  Is it Rafael again?” 

“I have things going on at home that I don’t want to talk about.”

“Did Rafael give you that bruise on your cheek?  I know you keep telling me it isn’t my place to worry about it, but I love you Naomi and I don’t want to see you getting hurt.  I can make arrangements to get you out of this situations.  I keep telling you that you are too good for this.  I wish you honestly would listen to me!”

For a thug and a billionaire, Tony could show empathy and compassion when he wanted.  I often saw a side of him that he didn’t show anyone. 

“I will make sure we aren’t caught by the cops,” I whispered.

“Naomi, I am more concerned with your well being compared to what is going on here.  I know you will cover your tracks with the drugs, but I am afraid that at home you aren’t able to handle it.”

I began up to walk out and looked at the reflection of myself in the mirror he had in his office. My makeup had not come off.  It was amazing since to the naked eye you would have never known there was an underlying bruise.

“Tony, how did you know that I had an underlying bruise?” I asked.

“Naomi, how long have I been your best friend?  I have been sleeping with you for years.  I know how to strip away your makeup and see what you are hiding.  Your body indicates what’s really going on by the body language you tell me.”

I knew if I didn’t leave his office quickly, I was going to break down and cry as he had seen right through the fact I was trying to cover another bruise. 

I nodded as I walked out the door without saying another word. I could feel his eyes still staring at me, but I refused to turn around. He often did this when he wanted me to turn around as if he wasn’t finished yet with the conversation. 

It was hard to believe that someone that was a thug could see right through everything.  Rafael, my husband, could never do that.  Although we had our share of problems, we did once have a good beginning.  I used to think that everyone had their share of problems, but our problems kept going.

It began as he told me that I was overly sensitive and I need to stop acting that way.  That was the beginning of a downhill spiral in which I wasn’t expecting in our relationship. To please him, I eliminated many things from my life including my friends and family.  Don’t get me wrong, I was allowed to hang around the ones I was positive he was sleeping with.  I changed my whole life to suit Rafael but the more I changed, the fewer privileges I was allowed. It all led up to this day where our problems weren’t even able to be voiced in a civil manner. In his eyes, all of our problems were my fault.  I was the one that blew everything out of proportion.

I guess that was what had pushed me into sleeping with Tony in the first place. 

I sat at my desk scheduling the pickups and deliveries.

Tony’s eyes seemed to follow with every move I made as I continued to work. I could see him staring at me from his desk.  It used to mean that he wanted me to come in for a quickie, but today his face was spelled with concern. 

How could I tell him about Stacy, or the fact that I couldn’t handle any of it anymore.  I knew he was at the bistro and he probably saw the same thing as I walked out.  He probably saw Rafael sitting in the corner booth with a blond named Becky on his lap and nibbling his ear.

*****

The house was incredibly silent, deathly silent when I got home.  I knew Rafael was hiding somewhere as he waited for me to enter the room. I had seen his car in the driveway, and I was sure he was trying to smooth everything over with Becky or try to threaten me.

It was already dangerous enough that I couldn’t escape what was going on at home any longer.  The past couple days with everything going on, including what happened at the bistro.

“Where have you been?   I was wanting to talk to you about what you saw.” Rafael screamed from the top of the staircase.

“Rafael, I am home early!” I said pointing at the clock.

“I am sure that’s the time you have told me for years to cover up your tryst with your boss.” Rafael pointed out.

Everyone seemed to know the tryst I had been having with Tony, although I didn’t want to admit it to anyone. 

“I can prove that I was working by the work that I have accomplished today.  We have shipments of coffee coming in tomorrow.”

Although I barely remember working, the drive home had been more of a blur.  Tony offered me a ride home, but at the moment I was glad he hadn’t dropped me off at all.

Rafael face filled with anger and someone I didn’t know. 

“There is still a lot for me to do to make up for the time you wasted since you decided to hit me this morning.  It takes the time to apply makeup! I screamed.  Besides, look at you with your affair and all you can do is point your finger at Tony and I?  I don’t even think you should be accusing me of anything except working my ass off for my boss.”

“Give me a break Naomi!  Everyone knows about yours and Tony’s affair!  It isn’t a secret.”

“What do you think you want for supper?” I asked.

“Do you really want to know what I want tonight? Naomi, I want you to stop playing these mind games! I am tired of it all Kaitlin!” Rafael screamed.

I was appalled by this since I wasn’t even the one who had been playing mind games.

“I will be in the kitchen making supper if you need me,” I said as I walked to the kitchen.

My eyes began to water as I tried hard not to break down and cry.  I thought when I married him I knew what love was, but that seemed to change when I began the affair with Tony.

Rafael often tried to show me that he was the saint and I was just a washed up whore that had an affair.

I knew if I started crying at the moment  Rafael would scream at me for being a ‘crybaby who started this fight and couldn’t deal with reality’.  I didn’t need any more screaming tonight, I just wanted to breathe.

I quickly wiped away the tears from my eyes when I heard his heavy footsteps coming back towards me.

Tonight Rafael was looking for a fight and no matter what I did, he would scream. I already knew this. I was trying hard to focus on the ingredients I needed so I could prepare supper.

“You are making that? I don’t want baked chicken tonight. Are you stupid or do you just not listen?”

I looked at him. “I asked you what you wanted for supper. You never answered me.”

“If you listened to me you would have heard me tell you that when you got home,” was his reply.

I knew he hadn’t said anything, but this was the game Rafael loved to play so often.  He had said that I was the one that played mind games.  Our relationship didn’t just lacked love, it also lacked respect, which he thought since I was his wife, I was his legal slave.  This was how my life had been for the past five years since we got married.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you at the bistro with Becky. You seemed pretty happy with her.” I pointed out.  I should have chosen my words a little more wisely because I felt a coffee cup shatter under my feet.  When I began to cry in fear, Rafael slapped my face.

I knew this was just the beginning for tonight and I was tired of it.  When I turned around to ignore him, I was greeted by Rafael backhanding me.

“A wife isn’t supposed to disrespect her husband at all,” he growled.

“Rafael this isn’t working anymore between us. This doesn't love and I am tired of how you hurt me.  I am tired of all the other girls and I am tired of always be treated like your legal slave.” I said as I reached up and touched the back of my head.

I craved to be respected that Tony showed and gave me.  I wanted to be a team like Tony and I, but with my husband, not the fact I was his ‘wife’ and his definition meant a legal slave.

“What are you saying, Naomi? Come out and say it, I dare you!” he screamed inches from my face.

“Rafael I want a divorce! I am tired of you constantly hurting me! This isn’t the way love is and should be.  I don’t love you anymore and you don’t love me.”

“Do you think anyone could put up with you Naomi?  I did you a favor all these years being married to you.”

A slur of cuss words followed by the words of ‘money hungry’ and another slur of cuss words followed. My eyes began to start watering. Rafael had no idea who I was, not even after five years. I didn’t want his money or belongings. I wanted love and respect; something money couldn’t buy.  I knew this, but I found it with Tony.