Melissa And The Cowboy (Western Night Series 1) (77 page)

            
 “
I know, but I just want to let you know that if it does
n’
t happen, if you do
n’
t think you could ever love him, please know that
I’
ll always be there
.
”

              The tears began to fall in earnest, and she had a bit of trouble trying to hide it. His eyes softened as his hands tensed in an attempt to touch her, to brush those tears away himself. She hiccupped softly.

            
 “
I do
n’
t know how you could stand it
,”
she replied to him
.“
I never could
.
”

              He exhaled slowly, looking out over the plains, at the man who had waved to them. He had started riding in their direction.

            
 “
Well, yo
u’
ve never been in love before
,”
he replied quietly.

              She should have felt angry about that, she should have insisted that
yes she had
and that was why she had to leave, but his gentle understanding, the fact that there was no malice in his voice, the sweet calmness behind all of it had calmed her instead of upsetting her. He had not meant it as a barb.

              Kyl
e’
s sadness and regret melted into happiness as he raises his hand to the rider approaching them
.“
Harlan
!”
He cried, and once again the nervousness flooded Lila
h’
s heart. It was time to meet her fian
cé
.

              Harlan Cooper was
n’
t necessarily a bad looking man, but he lacked the sheer handsomeness of Kyle, which made him look less attractive than he actually was. His eyes were dark, and she could see a little bit of dark hair under his cowboy hat. He had a big smile, and Lilah could see just by looking at him that he barely had a mean bone in his body.

            
 “
Why howdy! You must be Lilah
!”
His man moved to shake hers until he realised that to do so would cause him to tumble out of his own saddle. In spite of the misery she felt in her gut over losing Kyle, she could
n’
t help but smile at him.

            
 “
And yo
u’
re Harlan
?”
she asked
.“
I
t’
s very nice to meet you
!
”

              Harlan flushed red and tipped his hat to her. Kyle rode up beside him with a relaxed air that indicated to Lilah that they were good friends. Finally she began to feel something akin to shame.

            
 “
We were holed up in the old cabin thanks to the storm
,”
he explained to Harlan
.“
The wheel on the cart broke too, so we were delayed
.
”

            
 “
It was a cursed trip
,”
she said brightly
.“
But w
e’
re here now
.
”

              Harlan nodded, and she could tell he was nervous. He had one of those faces that showed every bit of emotion and thought that passed his face, so completely unlike Kyle in that regard. She frowned slightly at this, banishing the comparison from her mind. It was
n’
t fair on Harlan to do so.

            
 “
Well, follow me,
I’
ll have someone take your trunk to your room and  you can rest, w
e’
ll meet again at dinner, does that sound alright
?
”

              She nodded, and off they went.

              Lilah was surprised to find that she had her own room, but also comforted. She was
n’
t going to have to jump immediately into bed with him, which was something she was worrying about. After he had showed her to her room, he had looked at her shyly.

            
 “
Do
n’
t worry abou
t
…
”
he cleared his throat, looking around nervously
.“
I thought that we could get to know each other first before anything, um, happened
.
”

              That worked for Lilah, who found as the weeks wore on that she liked Harla
n’
s quiet manner and kind eyes.

Over the next few weeks he had been the perfect gentleman, taking her for long strolls, only giving her fleeting touches on her arm. She did
n’
t hate his touch, but it did
n’
t ignite any fire inside of her that it had with Kyle.

              She found that she truly loved where she was now, the ranch was beautiful and the animals were sweet, but what truly got to her was the vastness of the sky, and how at night it would fill with so many stars she could not even count them all. Sometimes she would lay in the soft grass of the field at night, trying to count all of those stars.

              And Kyle...every day just looking at him was torture. She would catch glimpses of him riding out in the field, his sun-kissed hair flopping over his eyes. She wanted to push that hair back, climb into his lap, and never leave. She had thought that it would get easier to forget him, but not when he was there all the time. Not when she wanted him beside her at night, helping her count the stars as well.

              Without realising it, Lilah had taken to visiting the apple tree where Ellie was buried, spending silent company with her in an effort to feel closer to Kyle, even if she saw him every day. How could she be so unfair to Harlan, who had been nothing but kind? It was
n’
t as though she was being cruel to him, merely distant, but part of her could
n’
t stop torturing herself over the fact that she did not love him.

              She sat beneath the apple tree, holding a book in her lap, but staring out over the plains. The quiet calmed Lilah, and she enjoyed watching the cattle graze peacefully this way and that. The calves were getting so big as well, and she found herself attached to them.

              Lilah was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she did
n’
t hear the soft footfall of someone behind her.

            
 “
Hello
.
”

It started her for a moment, causing her to jump a little bit, but she could
n’
t help but smile when she turned around and saw him.

            
 “
Oh, Kyle. Hello
.
”

              He had to be able to hear the fierce pounding of her heart, and he helped her climb to her feet. She felt dizzy for a moment, and nearly toppled over, but he grabbed her by her waist to make sure that she did
n’
t. Their faces were so close together, she looked up at him and desperately wanted it to happen. She wanted that kiss, she wanted everything, and her lips parted in anticipation before he gently but firmly pushed her away and took a step back.

            
 “
I ca
n’
t do this
,”
he said.

            
 “I’
m sorry
,”
she replied in shame
.“
I did
n’
t mean t
o
…”

            
 “
I thought I could
,”
he said quietly
.“
I really did.
I’m
…
”
He ran his hand through his hair and put his hat back on his head
,“
I ca
n’
t
,”
he said as he walked away.

              She watched him walking, wondering precisely what he meant, and what he meant to do.

#

              Harlan was unusually quiet at dinner, but watched Lilah thoughtfully as he ate. She merely picked at her food, and it was
n’
t until after-dinner brandy was served that he decided to speak.

            
 “
Kyle has decided to leave the ranch
,”
he said quietly. Lilah gasped, and wondered if that would give her away. The look in Harla
n’
s eyes was pained, and for a fleeting, terrifying moment, she knew.

            
 “
Lilah, I must admit that
I’
ve been incredibly happy to have you around here these past few weeks. Howeve
r
…”

              He took a gulp of his brandy and grimaced.

            
 “
I am having hesitations about our arrangement
.
”

              Lila
h’
s heart both dropped and soared.

            
 “I’
m not fully sure that I, I mean that we...are compatible
.”
He seemed relatively sorry to say it.

            
 “
I think you are a dear friend
!”
she cried
.“
I think yo
u’
re a terrific man, and your ranch is absolutely delightful
.
”

              He smiled at that
.“
Oh yes, and you are welcome here for as long as yo
u’
d like. Yo
u’
re terrific with the horses as well as the cattle, and I can always use a hand around here. But usually...well usually we like to have ladies on the ranch be tied to someone
.
”

              Lilah ignored the prickling feeling in her stomach at this, thinking it was ridiculous, but that was the way life was. Of course, her mind immediately went to Kyle, but what was the point now that he was leaving. Something occurred to her. She jumped to her feet.

            
 “
You knew
?”
she asked Harlan. Harlan smiled and it was
n’
t as bitter as Lilah thought that it would be.

            
 “
I guess, but not immediately. You two are very respectful, but anyone could see that yo
u’
re crazy about each other
.
”

              Harla
n’
s expression grew sad then, and Lila
h’
s heart went out to him. She marched over to him and kissed him gently on the cheek.

            
 “
Any woman would be lucky to have you
,”
she said, and she meant it. He smiled up at her.

            
 “
Yes, but next time
I’
m going to pick her up myself. Now go, go before he leaves, he should still be in the stable
.
”

              #

              Kyle was saddling up the black stallion when Lilah entered the stable with a pounding heart and sweating palms.

            
 “
Wait
!”
she cried
.“
Wait! Do
n’
t go
.
”

              Kyle looked at her with a startled face, he stared at her as though unsure of whether or not she was real, and it was only until she walked up to him and placed her arms around his shoulders that he relaxed.

            
 “
You better not leave, Kyle Granger
!
”

              Sadness flooded his eyes
.“
I have to, I ca
n’
t watch you try to love another man, I thought I could do it but I ca
n’
t
.
”

            
 “
You wo
n’
t have to
!”
she insisted
.“
Harlan and I are through, we never
were
, we both realised we were better as friends, and wha
t’
s mor
e
…”