Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend (7 page)

Norman has a rock in his hand, and he says it came from the prison. He says it came from
a mine
. That doesn’t make any sense, either. A mine is a bomb that soldiers bury in the ground so that when other soldiers pass by, they will step on it and blow up. Max pretends to dig minefields for his toy soldiers, so that’s how I know. So how could Norman get a rock from a mine?

But Norman has everyone fooled, because all the kids in the class want to touch the rock now, even though it’s just rock that he probably found on the playground this morning. Even if he really did find the rock on a mine, it’s still just a rock. Why is everyone so excited? Mrs Pandolfe has to tell the class to ‘sit back and relax’. When Mrs Gosk wants her kids to relax, she says, ‘Don’t get your knickers in a bunch.’ I don’t know what this means, but it sounds funny.

Mrs Pandolfe tells all the kids to sit down again. She promises that everyone will get a chance to hold the rock if they are just patient.

It’s just a stupid rock,
I want to yell.

All this nonsense going on while my friend is dying.

‘When is the spelling test?’ I finally ask.

‘Next, I think,’ Graham says, and her voice is even wispier than before. It sounds as if she’s standing behind three doors now. ‘She usually gives the test right after show and tell.’

Graham is right. After Norman is done lying about his fake trip to the prison and everyone has had a chance to touch his stupid rock, Mrs Pandolfe finally passes out the white-lined paper for the spelling test.

I stand at the back of the room during the test while Graham stands beside Meghan. I can barely see her anymore. When she stands still, she almost disappears completely.

I’m standing in the back, hoping that Meghan makes at least one mistake. Even though Meghan is a rotten speller, Graham said that she’s also spelled all the words on some tests correctly. If she spells them all correctly today, we won’t have time to make a new plan.

I feel like Graham could disappear at any second.

Then it happens. Mrs Pandolfe says
giant
and Meghan writes the word on her paper. A second later, Graham leans over, points to it, and says something. Meghan has spelled the word wrong, probably with a
j
instead of a
g
, and I feel giddy as I watch her erase the word and rewrite it.

Three words later, the same thing happens again, this time on the word
surprise
. By the time the test is finished, Graham has helped Meghan spell five words correctly and I am just waiting for the fading to reverse. In minutes, I expect that I will no longer lose sight of her unless she is moving. Any second now, my friend will appear whole again. She will be safe once more.

I wait.

Graham waits.

The test is over. We sit at a small table at the back of the room. We stare at each other. I wait for the moment when I can jump up and shout, ‘It’s happening! You’re coming back!’

Mrs Pandolfe has moved onto math and we still wait.

But it’s not happening. In fact, I think she’s fading away even more. Graham is sitting three feet in front of me and I can barely see her.

I want to doubt my eyes. They must be playing tricks on me. But then I know it’s true. Graham is still fading away. She’s becoming more and more transparent by the second.

I can’t tell her. I don’t want to tell her that the plan didn’t work, because it should have worked. It had to work.

But it didn’t. Graham is disappearing. She is almost gone.

‘It didn’t work,’ she finally says, breaking the silence. ‘I can tell. It’s okay.’

‘It had to work,’ I say. ‘She spelled all those words right because of you. She needs you. She knows that now. It had to work.’

‘It didn’t,’ Graham says. ‘I can tell. I can feel it.’

‘Does it hurt?’

As soon as I say it, I wish I hadn’t asked it. I feel bad asking it, because I’m asking it for me. Not for my friend.

‘No,’ Graham says. ‘Not at all.’ Even though it’s hard to see her, I think she is smiling. ‘It feels like I’m floating away. Like I’m free.’

‘There must be something else we can do,’ I say.

I sound frantic. I can’t help it. I feel like I am on a ship sinking into the ocean and there are no little boats to save me.

I think that Graham is shaking her head, but I can’t tell. It’s so hard to see her now.

‘There has to be something that we can do,’ I say again. ‘Wait. You said that Meghan is afraid of the dark. Go tell her that a monster lives under her bed, and it only comes out at night, and that you’re the reason she hasn’t been eaten yet. Tell her that every night you protect her from the monster, and that if you die she will be eaten.’

‘Budo, I can’t.’

‘It’s a rotten thing to do, I know, but you’re going to die if you don’t. You have to try.’

‘It’s okay,’ Graham says. ‘I’m ready to go.’

‘What does that mean you’re ready to go? Go where? You know what happens when you disappear?’

‘No, but it’s okay,’ she says again. ‘Whatever happens, I’ll be fine and Meghan will be fine.’

I can barely hear her now.

‘You have to try, Graham. Go over there and tell her that she needs you. Tell her about the monster under the bed!’

‘That’s not it, Budo. It doesn’t have to do with Meghan needing me. We were wrong. Meghan’s just growing up. First it’s me, and then it’ll be the tooth fairy, and next year it will be Santa Claus. She’s a big girl now.’

‘But the tooth fairy isn’t real and you are! Fight, Graham. Fight! Please! Don’t leave me!’

‘You’ve been a good friend to me, Budo, but I have to go now. I’m going to go sit next to Meghan now. I want to spend my last few minutes with her. Sitting next to my friend. It’s the only thing I’m really sad about.’

‘What?’

‘That I won’t be able to look at her anymore. See her grow up. I’m going to miss Meghan so much.’ She is quiet for a moment and then she adds, ‘I love her so much.’

I start crying. I don’t know it at first, because I have never cried before. My nose is suddenly clogged with boogers and my eyes feel wet. I feel warm and sad. So very sad. I feel like a hose with a kink in it, just waiting to let go and spray water everywhere. I feel like I am going to burst open with tears. But I’m glad that I’m crying, because I don’t have the words to say goodbye to Graham, and I know that I must. Graham will be gone very soon and I am going to lose my friend. I want to say goodbye and tell her how much I love her, too, but I don’t know how. I hope that my tears say it for me.

Graham stands up and smiles at me. She nods her head. Then she walks over to Meghan. She sits behind her and speaks in her ear. I don’t think Meghan can hear her anymore. Meghan is listening to Mrs Pandolfe and smiling.

I stand up. I go to the door. I want to leave. I don’t want to be here when Graham disappears. I look back one more time. Meghan has her hand raised again, ready to answer another question. Answer without stuttering. Graham is still sitting behind her, perched in a tiny first-grade chair. I can barely see her now. If Mrs Pandolfe opened the window and let a breeze in, I think that it might be enough to blow the last little bit of Graham away for ever.

I look one more time before I leave. Graham is still smiling. She’s staring at Meghan, craning her neck to see the little girl’s face, and she’s smiling.

I turn. I leave my friend behind.

CHAPTER 12

Mrs Gosk is teaching math. The kids are spread out around the room, rolling dice and calculating with their fingers. It takes me a minute to check all the corners of the room, but Max is not here. This is good. Max hates these games. He hates to roll dice and listen to kids scream when they roll two sixes. He just wants to solve his math problems and be left alone.

I’m not sure where Max is supposed to be right now. He could be in the Learning Center with Mrs McGinn and Mrs Patterson, or he could be in Mrs Hume’s office. It’s hard to keep track of Max because he sees so many teachers during the day. I’m also not very good at telling the time when a clock has hands on it, and that’s the only kind of clock that Mrs Gosk has in her classroom.

I check in Mrs Hume’s office first because it is the closest to Mrs Gosk’s room but Max is not there. Mrs Hume is talking to the principal about a boy who sounds a lot like Tommy Swinden except his name is Danny and he is in second grade. The principal sounds worried. She uses the word
situation
three times when talking about Danny. When adults use
situation
a lot, it means that things are serious.

The principal’s name is Mrs Palmer. She’s an older lady who doesn’t like to punish kids or give out consequences, so she talks to Mrs Hume a lot about
alternative ways
to make the students behave. She thinks that if she makes a kid like Tommy volunteer in a kindergarten classroom, he will learn to behave.

I think that just gives Tommy Swinden a chance to be mean to even smaller kids.

Mrs Hume thinks that Mrs Palmer is crazy, but she doesn’t tell Mrs Palmer. But I’ve heard her say it more than once to other teachers. Mrs Hume thinks that if Mrs Palmer would just give a kid like Tommy Swinden detention more often, he might not try to bowl kids like Max in the bathroom.

I think Mrs Hume is right.

Max’s mom says that the right thing is usually the hardest thing. I don’t think Mrs Palmer has learned that lesson yet.

I walk down the hallway and check the Learning Center, but Max isn’t there either. Mrs McGinn is working with a boy named Gregory. Gregory is a first grader who has a disease called seizures. He has to wear a helmet all the time just in case he falls on his head when he’s having a seizure. A seizure is a like a combination of a temper tantrum and getting stuck.

Maybe if I had figured out a way for Graham to help Meghan with her temper tantrums, Graham would still be here. Maybe Meghan didn’t care about spelling. Maybe we needed to fix something even bigger than a spelling test.

Max is probably in the bathroom near the nurse’s office. He probably had a bonus poop after all. If that’s what happened, Max is going to be mad. That’s two days in a row that he had to knock on the door.

But Max isn’t in the bathroom either. It’s empty.

Now I’m worried.

The only other place where Max could be is in Mrs Riner’s office, but Max works with his speech teacher only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Maybe he’s working with her today for some special reason. Maybe Mrs Riner has to go to a wedding next Tuesday and won’t be able to see Max. It’s the only place he could be. But Mrs Riner’s room is on the other side of the school, and I’ll have to walk by Mrs Pandolfe’s classroom to get there.

I hadn’t thought about Graham for three whole minutes and I was starting to feel better. Now I’m wondering if Graham has completely disappeared. If I walk by the classroom, I wonder if I will look inside and see her still sitting behind Meghan. Maybe I will see just a few wisps left of my friend.

I want to wait until Max gets back to Mrs Gosk’s classroom, but I know I should meet him in Mrs Riner’s classroom. It would make him happy to see me, and, to be honest, I want to see Max, too. Watching Graham disappear makes me want to see Max more than ever, even if it means walking by Mrs Pandolfe’s classroom.

But I never get there.

Just as I’m passing the gym, which separates the little kids’ side of the school from the big kids’ side of the school, I see Max. He is walking into the school, passing through a set of double doors that lead to the outside. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not recess time, and those aren’t even doors that lead to the playground. They face the parking lot and the street. I have never seen a kid go through those doors.

Mrs Patterson walks in behind him. She stops as she enters the building and looks left and right, like she was expecting to see someone waiting by the doors.

‘Max!’ I say, and he turns and sees me.

He doesn’t say anything, because he knows if he does, Mrs Patterson will start asking questions. Some adults talk to Max like he’s a baby when they ask him questions about me. They say, ‘Is Budo with us right now?’ and ‘Does Budo have anything he wants to say to me?’

‘Yes,’ I always tell Max. ‘Tell them that I wish I could punch them in the nose.’

But he never does.

Then there are other adults that look at Max like he’s sick when he tells them about me. Like there’s something wrong with him. Sometimes they even look a little frightened of him. So we almost never talk in front of people, and when someone sees Max talking to me from a distance, on the playground or on the bus or in the bathroom, he just says that he was talking to himself.

‘Where were you?’ I ask, even though I know that Max won’t answer.

He looks back outside toward the parking lot. His eyes widen to tell me that, wherever he was, it was good.

We walk in the direction of Mrs Gosk’s classroom, Mrs Patterson leading the way. Just before we reach the classroom door, Mrs Patterson stops. She turns around and looks at Max. Then she leans down so that she and Max are eye to eye.

‘Remember what I said, Max. I want only what’s best for you. Sometimes I think I’m the only one who knows what’s best for you.’

I’m not sure, but I think Mrs Patterson said that last part more to herself than to Max.

She’s about to say something else when Max interrupts. ‘When you tell me the same thing over and over again, it bothers me. It makes me think that you don’t think I’m smart.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Mrs Patterson says. ‘I didn’t mean that. You’re the smartest boy I know. I won’t say it again.’

She pauses for a second, and I can tell that she’s waiting for Max to say something. This happens a lot. Max doesn’t notice the pauses. Someone will be speaking to him, and when the person stops, expecting Max to say something, he just waits. If there is no question to answer and nothing that he wants to say, then he just waits. The silence does not make him squirm like it makes other people squirm.

Mrs Patterson finally speaks again. ‘Thank you, Max. You really are a smart and a sweet young man.’