Memoranda (30 page)

I heard his wings above me before he landed on my back. His arm came around my throat from behind, and he tried to subdue me by preventing me from breathing. Stopping short in my stride, I ducked forward and he flew over me, but at the last second, grabbed my shirt and pulled me down on top of him. We wrestled fiercely, turning one over the other across the ground. Finally, his superior strength won out and he sat atop me, his left hand clutching my throat.

“I can't let you stay,” he said, and then brought his right hand down with great force, smashing me across the face with the back of it. As I lost consciousness, I felt myself losing Anotine, and I knew exactly what it was like to die.

We were flying low through the night sky of Misrix's mind, over the forests of the Beyond.

“I lost track of you when the island disappeared,” he said. “I had to search innumerable memories in order to find you. It took hours. I thought we would both perish.”

I felt very weak and completely blank.

“The antidote, did you find it?” he asked, soaring upward into the night sky.

“It's the beauty,” I said. “What else? Sheer beauty.”

He reached the pinnacle of his ascent, then began the downward rush into our own reality. Somewhere in the descent, I passed into a deep sleep that was mercifully dreamless.

I opened my eyes, and found myself sitting in the chair in the room that contained Below's bed. My feet were up on the bench, and I was in the same position as when Misrix had placed his hand upon my head and initiated the dreaming wind. Looking to my left, I saw the demon, hunched over his father's body, administering a dose of the beauty to the vein in the old man's neck.

My muscles were cramped from having sat in the same position for so long, and I needed Misrix to help me to my feet.

“It took four hours,” he said, as he wrapped his arm and wing around me for support.

We moved slowly toward the door. The pain in my knee I had gotten from running across the fields in the memory world had followed me back across time and space and now throbbed. Leaving the room, Misrix turned back and closed the door behind us.

Once I was sitting at the table in the room I had eaten in earlier, puffing on a Hundred-To-One, a cup of shudder sitting in front of me, the demon sat down. I still felt drained, both physically and emotionally.

“I feel dead,” I said, letting out a trail of smoke.

“You look it, too,” said Misrix. “You spent too much time in the mnemonic reality. Your coming out was like an infant leaving the womb.”

“I'm empty,” I said.

“Cley, I wasn't going to tell you this, but I found the cure for the sleeping disease before you did. In an earlier memory of my father's, I stumbled upon him just as he discovered that the beauty would reverse its damage. I had to come and get you, though. You've got to live your life. If there was any way I could have brought the woman out, I would have. Can you forgive me?”

“I find it truly insane,” I said, “that I have searched for love my entire life, and finally, when I found it, it was in the mind of a man who I considered to be a symbol of pure evil.”

“But do you forgive me?” he asked.

“There's nothing to forgive. You are the only one of the three of us who operated out of truth. Your father and I were deceitful, he toward the world, and I with myself. You were right about something else also,” I said, and took a sip of shudder.

“What?” asked the demon.

“It turned out to be a love story.”

30

Misrix left the room in order to go check on Below and see if there was any change in his condition. Meanwhile I sat listlessly, staring at the wall and smoking one cigarette after the other. I knew now what it was like to lose someone close to you. Granted, Ea and Arla and their children had left and gone away to the Beyond, but at least I knew they were still out there somewhere. Anotine, on the other hand, was as good as dead now. I could remember Below's memory of her, but I could never again be with her in the same way as I had. “She must think I betrayed her,” was what I kept saying to myself. Although I had returned to reality in one sense, the loss I felt was like a barrier that continued to separate me from it.

Quite a long time passed, and when the pack of Hundred-To-Ones was empty, I realized that I had to begin thinking about getting back to Wenau and administering the beauty to those trapped in the sleep. I was about to get out of my chair and go in search of Misrix when the door opened and he entered, followed by Below. To my surprise the Master no longer wore the blue pajamas, but was now dressed in a formal-looking black suit with a broad-brimmed hat that I could have sworn had been Mayor Bataldo's. He walked upright and showed no ill effects from the long illness he had just come through.

The second he saw me, he smiled.

“Cley, I've had you on my mind quite a bit lately,” he said, and laughed raucously at his own joke.

Misrix pulled the chair across from me out for him, and he took a seat.

“Excuse me for a moment, Cley,” he said. He turned to Misrix. “Listen, boy, I want you to go over to the Ministry of Education, back there where I've been stockpiling the beauty. Load it on the wagon, hitch the horses to it, and bring it around. It's time to ingratiate ourselves to the good people of Wenau.”

“The werewolves, Father,” said Misrix.

“Oh, yes,” he said. From around his neck Below removed a chain with a small thin cylinder attached to it. “Take the whistle. If they bother you, blow on it, and it will put them off.”

The demon took it from him, but did not move.

“Yes?” asked the Master.

“I want you to know that Cley saved your life, sir,” said the demon.

Below reached over and rubbed the fur on Misrix's forearm. “I'm aware of it,” he said. “I'll never forget it.”

The demon smiled, then, giving me a quick look, turned and left the room. The instant the door closed behind him, Below reached into his jacket, pulled out a pistol, and laid it on the table in front of him.

“What do you think of him?” he asked me.

“He is very special,” I said. “You should have more faith in him.”

“How might that be possible?” he asked.

“Why do you think you have to coerce the people of Wenau to accept him? I'm telling you, they will be frightened at first, but once he has a chance to prove himself, you won't need to force them to see his kindness. With the plan you have, you will end up making them hate him as they hate you.”

“I wish I had the faith in people you have, Cley. I only have faith in power,” he said with a sigh.

“And so you are going to shoot me?” I asked.

“It is a rather second-rate means of execution. I would have liked to have thought up something more diabolical in keeping with your remarkable qualities, but, as you know, I've been out of sorts lately, and my imagination needs time to rebuild.”

“What will your son think when he comes back and finds me dead?” I asked.

“He will be upset for a time. Parenting is a tough business. You can't shield your children from the realities of the world forever. I tell you it makes the process of raising a son bitter-sweet, knowing the vicissitudes of life he will have to face,” he said, staring at the table. A look of true sadness came over him.

“Were you aware of me in your memory?” I asked.

He nodded. “I saw you flailing around, but it was as if I was paralyzed at the bottom of a deep well. It was a struggle to focus on my memories. Things were not always clear. I really had to concentrate. My word, what an effort it took to invigorate my form on the dome and set a course that would lead you to the antidote.”

“You consciously sent me back to the ruins of the city?”

“I could see that you had botched the situation on the floating island. I knew I had to help you get to a particular memory where the antidote would be more obvious. When Anotine kissed me, even though it was a memory kiss, it still carried a hint of the beauty, and this revived my will just enough for me to start the dome's engine and set a course.”

“And what of Anotine?” I asked.

“She is still there, Cley. You saved her, and what's more, if I am not mistaken, she is pregnant with your memory child. Watching you interact with her was somewhat pitiful, but it offered a bit of amusement.”

“She was a woman you loved and abandoned?” I asked.

“No, no, no … her memory seized while studying Scarfinati's book. She's on a ship somewhere encased in a chemical ice that can't melt. She's out there somewhere,” he said, sweeping his hand in front of him. “The ship left port one year and never returned.”

“That's not what Scarfinati told me,” I said.

“Oh, please, Cley. You should know at your age how the imagination, how desire, influences memory. My memory of Scarfinati is a mischievous entity in my mind. You can't believe a word of what he said. These things can't always be controlled. Take the Delicate, for instance. He came to me in a nightmare when I was a child, soon after my sister's death. I've been trying to get rid of him since, but he persists. He's a symbol of something very powerful that I can't quite understand and can't, for the life of me, forget.”

“There is a world of evil inside you,” I said, “but I also found love there.”

“One thing you've got to understand, Cley. What you experienced wasn't all me. Your presence changed things; your desire was so inextricably intertwined with my memory that it would have been hard to separate the two. What belonged to whom is difficult to say. Perhaps, for a short time, you made me better than what I really am. For that, I'd be happy to spare your life, but from past experience I know you are an incorrigible meddler. If it were anything else but Misrix's future, I would let you go.”

“Promise me that you will protect the people of Wenau,” I said.

“I intend to. Where would I be without them?” he said, and, taking the gun in his hand, pushed his chair back and stood. “Stand up,” he said, pointing the gun at me.

I thought about leaping over the table at him, crying out for help, running for the door, but the dull ache inside me caused by my loss of Anotine canceled my will to act. “Shoot,” I said.

He took aim at my chest, and I waited for him to pull the trigger, but then he started coughing violently, making him unable to aim. Holding his free hand up as if to indicate he would be with me momentarily, I could tell he was trying to utter one of his witticisms, but the words came forth in a tortured gurgling. It was obvious he was having a hard time catching his breath, and I waited, really rather bored, for the episode to pass. Only when he dropped the gun and brought both of his hands to his throat did I realize his condition was serious. He stumbled back against the wall for support, all the while making these slight wheezing noises.

I came around the table to try to help him. “What is it?” I yelled.

The door opened and Misrix entered. “Everything is ready, Father,” he said before noticing us. A moment later, he saw what was happening and came over to Below's other side. There was a look of intense fear on his face. “What's happening, Cley?” he screamed.

“Tour father was going to shoot me, but then he started choking. I don't know.”

The Master quickly went from bad to worse, the complexion of his face turning nearly as blue as those of the spire miners of Anamasobia, who, after years, take on the hue of the mineral they work. The wheezing diminished, he lost consciousness, and we eased him to the floor.

“What should I do?” asked the demon.

I shook my head. Whatever was happening was a mystery to me.

Moments later, Below's whole body suddenly relaxed. I felt for a pulse but could find nothing. I could hardly believe it. The great Drachton Below, the Master, was dead. His eyes stared coldly at the ceiling, his mouth was agape, his hands lay on his chest.

“How?” asked Misrix, tears in his eyes.

My life had just been spared by some wild fluke, but still I felt terrible for the demon, having recently experienced an equivalent loss. I stood up and backed away.

“What is this, Cley?” he said. “Look, there is something in his throat.”

I came back and knelt.

“There,” he said, pointing with the tip of a claw.

Pulling down on Below's chin in order to open his mouth yet wider, I bent low and peered into the dark behind his tongue. There was something there. It appeared to be a small flap of some kind. Then Misrix changed his position to look over my shoulder, and the light, which had been blocked by his head, now revealed to me the color green. My hand immediately went to my breast pocket and found it empty.

Misrix reached past me and, using his claws like tweezers, snagged the edge of the flap and pulled. The veil came forth like a long green tongue, like a trick from a children's magic show. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The demon started crying again as he unfurled the piece of material until it was completely open.

“I don't understand,” he said, and laid the veil across Below's face, covering his hideous expression.

I knew then that this was my miracle. Having eaten the white fruit, I kept waiting for something unusual to happen either to me or for me. I had taken for granted that my simply surviving the mnemonic ordeal had been the marvel I was waiting for. Somehow a thought had taken on physical actuality. I was sure that Anotine was partially behind it.

Misrix took the chain with the whistle from around his neck and handed it to me. “Go,” he said. “The wagon is just outside. There is enough sheer beauty on it to cure a thousand Wenaus. Help your people.”

“Come with me,” I said. “I'll see to it that you can find a life with us.”

“I can't leave now,” he said. He took the spectacles off his face, dropped them on the floor, and stomped them with his hoof.