Memory's Edge: Part One (13 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Guilt and Regret

The doorbell
rang and John almost dropped the tray of stuffed mushrooms he was trying to
find a place for in the fridge. Recovering from the surprise, John slid the
tray onto a shelf and turned to stare at Gretchen.

“Are they
here already?” he asked. He looked a little pale. Gretchen couldn’t blame him.
He’d only been out of his casts for a week and they had spent the whole day
either getting everything at the grocery store or standing in the kitchen
cooking. Gretchen’s legs were already aching and she knew John’s were twice as
tired.

“Go ahead
and finish what you’re doing. I’ll get the door,” Gretchen said. John nodded
thankfully as she dashed out of the room. The doorbell rang again just as she
reached it. Gretchen pulled the door open to find her father with his finger
poised to ring the bell again. He didn’t like to be kept waiting.

“Hello,
Gretchen, what took you so long?” her dad asked.

She shook
her head and hugged him. “It’s good to see you too, Daddy. Come on in.”

They
shuffled through the narrow entryway and dropped their bags just inside the
living room. Gretchen’s mom rushed over and clobbered her with a hug. “Oh,
Gretchen, it’s so good to see you, sweetheart. I feel like it’s been forever.”

“Mom, we
saw each other at Christmas. That was only a few months ago,” Gretchen said.
“How’s Mildred doing? I haven’t talked to her since before they left for
vacation.”

“Your
sister is doing just fine. She and Martin got back from Seattle on Tuesday.
They said it rained pretty much the whole time they were there, but they had a
nice trip even with the bad weather,” she said.

“I’m glad
they had fun,” Gretchen said.

Gretchen’s
mom settled her purse on the side table then turned back to her daughter with
excitement in her eyes. “So where is he? Where is John?” Even her dad was
glancing around curiously.

“He’s in
the kitchen. Follow me.” They did, her mom following right behind her, her dad
walking calmly a few steps back.

The
counters were cleared, amazingly enough. Gretchen wondered how John had managed
to fit everything into the fridge. There were way too many trays and bowls to
get them all inside. Somewhere along the way Gretchen thought John forgot he
was just supposed to be making hors d’oeuvres for the party, not a five course
meal. It made him happy to do it, though, so she didn’t complain.

John laid a
wet rag on the counter and anxiously waited for somebody to say something. He
looked so nervous. Gretchen didn’t think it even occurred to him that he could
be the one to start the introductions.

Her mom was
more than happy to break the silence. “A man in an apron, now that’s something
I would like to see a little more often,” she said.

Gretchen’s
dad coughed behind her. “You banned me from the kitchen two days after we got
married. Don’t complain now that I don’t even know how to boil water.”

Waving
dismissively, her mom approached John. “It’s so nice to meet you, John.”

“Thank you,
Mrs. Gesner. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Gretchen has told me a lot about
you,” John said.

“I bet. Did
she tell you about all the grief she caused me as a child?” she asked.

“Gretchen?
She said she was a pretty quiet kid,” John said. He looked over at Gretchen for
an explanation, but she shook her head.

“Oh, she
was, John. This girl spent most of her childhood reading books and drawing
pictures in her room. I never thought I would see the day when she would find a
life outside of her books and pencils. I was convinced she was going to turn
into a hermit by the time she was fifteen,” her mom said dramatically.

“Gretchen was
a good kid,” her dad said. “There’s nothing wrong with being quiet and keeping
to yourself, is there, Gretchen?”

“Of course
not, Daddy,” she said.

“Now, are
we going to dinner, or not?” her dad asked.

***

Dinner passed
relatively painlessly. Gretchen’s mom talked enough for everyone, sparing John
from being grilled too much. Although there wasn't a whole lot they could ask
him in all reality. Gretchen was the one who suffered the most, having to sit
through her mom telling story after story of her and her sister growing up.
They were both pretty mellow kids, so it wasn't too embarrassing, but her mom’s
constant comments about how glad she was that Gretchen wasn't going to end up a
spinster made it sound as if she were scared of everything.

Gretchen
dated in high school. She got invited to prom, and not by the captain of the
chess team, either. To her mom, unless Gretchen was prancing around the field
as either a cheerleader or athlete, while running for student body president
and heading up a dozen other extracurricular activities, she wasn't outgoing
enough. Gretchen ignored her while John took in every detail. He, at least,
seemed utterly fascinated by her mom’s stories.

By the time
they made it back to the house, though, John was much more worried about
getting the food ready than he was about listening to any more of her mom’s
stories. Gretchen put her mom in charge of answering the door and dashed into
the kitchen to help John, and to escape listening to her mom.

“What do
you need me to do?” Gretchen asked John.

“Will you
turn the oven on? 375 degrees, please.” He topped off his request with a quick
kiss and went back to the fridge.

“You have
plenty of time, sweetheart. Relax. We still have an hour before anyone’s
supposed to arrive,” Gretchen said. Stepping in and stealing a longer kiss, she
didn’t back off until she felt him relax.

“Sweetheart,
huh? You’ve never called me that before. Does that mean I get to call you Gigi
now?” he asked.

Gretchen
smiled as sweetly as she could. “Not unless you want me to punch you in the
teeth.”

Cocking his
head to the side, he seemed to be considering whether or not it would be worth
it. “Just finish topping your canapes before you get yourself into trouble,”
Gretchen said. “I’ll get the mushrooms in the oven.”

The second
tray had just gone in when the doorbell rang. Looking up at the clock Gretchen
saw it was only seven-fifteen.

“What was
that you were saying about having plenty of time?” John grumbled.

True to her
word, Gretchen’s mom was at the door in a flash. Carl’s jovial voice carried
into the kitchen and John and Gretchen both groaned.
What on earth is he
doing here already?
Gretchen wondered. “You finish what you’re doing,” she
said to John, “and I’ll take care of Carl.”

“Remind me
again why you invited him?” John complained.

Gretchen
shook her head and calmly walked toward the living room.

“Carl, how
nice to finally meet you,” she heard her mom saying. “Gretchen has told us so
much about you.”

“Well, I
hope it was all good,” Carl said with a laugh.

“Of course
it was, dear. We’ve been eager to meet you for a while.” She patted his
shoulder and smiled. “We had a lovely dinner with Gretchen and John,” her mom
continued. “We were excited to meet him, too.”

“Yes,” Carl
said, “so am I.”

“You mean
you haven’t met him yet?” her mom asked.

Gretchen
stood just outside the living room, curious what Carl had to say.

“Not yet.
With his broken leg, he stayed in the house a lot,” Carl said. “I’ve been
anxious to get a look at this guy, though.”

She knew
the jabs were about to start, so she stepped into the living room. Her mom
spotted her and smiled. Carl must have noticed because he turned around right
after. Gretchen’s jaw almost dropped. She was too surprised even for that.

She had
never seen John in anything besides his work coveralls or jeans and a t-shirt.
His black slacks, complete with a black leather belt, accentuated a trim waist
she really didn’t even know Carl had. The way his deep blue dress shirt fit
against his chest and arms displayed the muscles she always felt when he hugged
her. He looked absolutely amazing. Gretchen suddenly wanted to kick herself for
having ever said that she didn’t think things would work out between them.

Blue eyes
accentuated by his shirt, Carl was beaming, no doubt pleased with himself for
having stunned Gretchen. In true Carl fashion, he took advantage of her shock
and wrapped her up in a hug, adding a kiss to the top of her head just to rub
it in. That finally snapped Gretchen back to reality, the one where John was in
the kitchen finishing the food for his party. Guilt broke her out of Carl’s
grip in one quick motion.

“Carl,” she
said, her tone more annoyed that it should have been, “what are you doing here
so early? I thought I told you the party started at eight.”

“Oh, you
did,” Carl said casually. “I saw you guys get back and thought you might want
some help getting things set up before the rest of your friends get here.”

“Carl,
you’re such a gentleman,” her mom said. “Gretchen is so lucky to have you next
door.”

Carl
grinned triumphantly. “That’s what I keep telling her.”

Gretchen
wanted to strangle him.

There was
nothing for him to help with except getting the hors d’oeuvres on trays, and
there was no way Gretchen was letting him in the kitchen. “Fine, Carl, if you
want to help me out you can keep my parents company while I help John in the
kitchen.” Grabbing the front of his shirt she pulled his face closer to hers.
“But no complaining about John or trying to convince them that I should dump
him. Got it?”

Carl nodded
very seriously. Unfortunately, reacting to his obvious insincerity would only
egg him on. He looked like he was about to make some smart remark when his eyes
suddenly drifted over toward the hallway leading to the kitchen. His cocky
smile widened and Gretchen’s heart dropped. Glancing over, she saw John staring
at them with the deepest frown she’d ever seen him wear. His clenched fists
only added to the glower.

Gretchen
and Carl’s faces were only inches away from each other, with Carl smiling like
an idiot, no doubt looking like he was about to kiss her. John folded his arms
over his chest and glared at Carl. Gretchen dropped Carl’s shirt like it was on
fire. Scrambling for something to say, she opened her mouth, but Carl beat her
to it.

“You must
be John,” he said. He offered John his hand, polite as could be. John scowled
at him half a second longer before finally reaching out and taking it stiffly.

“Carl.”

Gretchen
had been worried about Carl causing problems, but the way John was looking at
her neighbor suddenly made her just as worried about what John might do. Maybe
inviting Carl wasn't such a good idea after all. Although, if she hadn’t she
never would have gotten to see him all dressed up.

Forcing
that though out of her mind completely, Gretchen pressed one hand against their
chests. They didn’t budge. They were being ridiculous. She gave up.

“I’m going
to go get dressed. You two had better behave,” she threatened before dropping
her hands and stalking out of the room. She was beginning to regret this whole
thing.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Little Black Dress

Standing in
front of the mirror, Gretchen held the black dress up against her body
nervously. It was new, bought especially for the party. The problem was, she
had been planning on revealing it to John without an audience. Now she was
dreading stepping out of her bedroom. She almost put the dress away and went
with her standard blue wraparound dress instead. It was safe enough to wear to
school. The black dress she was holding now would never make an appearance at
school.

It wasn’t
overly revealing. She was covered from a little above the knee to her
shoulders, but it was definitely sexier than what she typically wore to school,
and she looked really good in it. She knew John would love it, but so would
Carl. Starting a pissing contest between them really was not something she
wanted to do. People were due to start arriving soon, and if she knew Desi, she
was probably walking up the drive.

Taking a
deep breath, Gretchen decided she couldn’t wait any longer. She stepped into
the dress and pulled it into place. As she buttoned the small buttons than ran
down the front of the bodice, she couldn’t help think that maybe it was a
little too tight. She had thought it perfect in the dressing room at the mall,
but now that she was faced with actually showing it to someone she wondered if
the fabric pulled across her chest and hips a little too much.

Gretchen
wasn't one of those women with curves galore, but she had enough that people
would notice what she did have in the dress. The thought of Carl staring at her
all night almost convinced Gretchen to hide the black dress at the back of her
closet. She finished doing up the buttons and took in her reflection instead.

She really
did look good.

The little
capped sleeves covered up a birthmark on her shoulder, and instead made her
arms look nice and trim. Pin-tuck pleats ran down the bodice making her waist
look even slimmer than it was. The simple pencil skirt ended with two layers of
sheer ruffles that lightened the serious look of the dress and made it perfect
for a party with friends. Gretchen buckled a thin belt around her waist and
turned away from the mirror.

The deep backbeat
of one of her favorite songs spread through the house. Guests would begin
arriving any second. She couldn’t stay in her room forever. The nightmare party
had been her idea. Hiding out in her room wasn't really an option.
Unfortunately. The doorbell rang and Gretchen could hear Desi’s voice bubbling
into the house. It was time to face the music.

Unlocking
the door, Gretchen peeked out, looking up and down the hall. Nobody. They must
have all gone to greet Desi. Talk about an ambush. Thankful for the moment of
privacy, Gretchen stepped out of the bedroom and started down the hall. Noise
from the entryway drowned out the music as Desi gushed over everyone. She had
met Carl a few times before, but Gretchen’s parents and John were strangers.
That wouldn’t last long.

She turned
the corner to see her friend hugging her dad. Desi caught Gretchen’s gaze and
grinned. “Gretchen,” she called out, drawing everyone’s eyes to Gretchen.

Gretchen
felt her breath catch as both John and Carl turned to look at her. She wanted
to hide. Both of their eyes went wide and their mouths popped open. Gretchen
seriously considered running back to her bedroom. Carl’s hand came up to rub
his jaw, but his eyes were still glued to her. John took a step toward
Gretchen, but Desi burst forward first.

“Ah!
Gretchen, I told you that dress looked amazing on you!” Desi gushed. “It’s
about time you wore something sexier than a khaki skirt.”

Desi
finally released her and spun around to face the rest of the group. John and
Carl seemed to see each other and notice how much the other was staring. Both
men squared their shoulders and stepped away from each other. Carl fell back
into his easy casualness quickly, but John was still frowning as he walked
toward Gretchen. That only lasted until he put his hands on her waist and
leaned in for a kiss.

Gretchen
gave him a quick peck and turned him to the side. Carl knew they were dating,
but that didn’t mean she needed to rub it in his face. John didn’t seem to
agree. Keeping his arm firmly around her waist, he seemed unwilling to step
away from her.

“Did you
need any help with the food?” she asked. She really needed a reason to get out
from under everyone’s eyes for a few seconds.

“No,
everything’s ready,” John said. He gestured at the table they had set up
earlier and Gretchen sighed as she saw them already laden with canapés,
mushrooms,
queso
, and a whole host of John’s
creations. So much for a way out.

The
doorbell rang a second time, and the excitement started all over again, slowly
pushing everybody but Gretchen and John into the living room. The temperature
in the house steadily rose as the guests piled in. Gretchen’s house was way too
small for a party that size, but nobody really seemed to mind. Her parents
wandered around chatting with everyone. Lynn and Maria grabbed John as soon as
they came in and Gretchen found herself alone for a few seconds.

After the
manic day she’d had, it felt great. Leaning against a wall, she spooned some of
John’s spinach dip into her mouth with little pieces of brioche. It was
absolutely delicious, of course, and pretty much the only way he was ever going
to get Gretchen to eat cooked spinach. Fresh spinach in a salad with
cranberries and almonds, you bet, but soggy, bitter globs of cooked spinach,
yuck.

The flavors
of the dip melted away Gretchen’s apprehensions with every bite. She scooped up
the last bit on her plate and sighed as she set it down on the side table. She
was debating getting more when she spotted Desi approaching Carl. Desi was
confident and friendly, which made her come off as a huge flirt when it came to
guys, but Gretchen knew it was usually just her personality.

However,
watching her stand so close to Carl, smiling and laughing with him, suddenly
had her watching Carl for any sign of interest in Desi. Gretchen should have
smiled, glad Desi was distracting him, but instead she could feel jealousy
creeping into her mind. Carl turned away from her for a second, and Gretchen
thought he was walking away until he grabbed two glasses and carried them back
to where Desi was standing.

What was he
doing?

What was
Gretchen doing?

Carl wasn't
her boyfriend. In fact, she had done a pretty good job of making sure he knew
that. There was no reason he shouldn’t be chatting up her best friend. A
girlfriend for Carl was exactly what Gretchen needed. It would make her life so
much simpler. She hoped he talked to Desi all night.

But if that
was true, why was it that when Carl finally looked over at her and smiled, she
found herself smiling back, glad he had finally noticed she was there?

Carl turned
back to Desi then, but kept glancing back at Gretchen whenever there was a
break in the conversation.  She should have moved away and let him give
Desi his full attention, but she didn’t. It was wrong, but the idea of losing
Carl to Desi made her sad. Yes, it would solve the problem of Carl trying to
push his way past John, but it would undoubtedly take him out of her life as
well.

She wasn't
ready for that. Carl meant too much to her. Gretchen knew John had consumed
pretty much all of her time for the past two months, but before John there had
only been Carl. Gretchen saw Desi at work every day, but up until recently she
had been dating someone and that kept her pretty busy most nights. Carl had
been the one to help Gretchen change her tire when she came out one morning to
find it completely flat. He had also helped her on numerous projects around the
house and kept her company when she’d felt so alone in a new town.

“Hey,
beautiful.”

Gretchen
jumped and turned to find John had snuck up to her. “You scared me,” she said,
turning so she couldn’t see Carl anymore.

“Sorry, you
were just standing here so quietly I couldn’t help it,” John said. “Why aren’t
you talking to some of your friends?”

“I just
needed a moment to breathe, I guess.” She certainly wasn't going to tell him
why she was really standing there alone. “How did you finally get away from
Lynn and Maria?”

“I told
them I was getting tired and needed to go sit down. I almost had to beat them
back with a stick to keep them from trying to carry me to the couch
themselves.” John laughed, but Gretchen didn’t doubt him. Lynn and Maria were
very dedicated nurses when it came to their favorite patient.

“How
are
you doing?” Gretchen asked.

“Oh, I’m
fine. How are you? You looked a little sad when I walked over,” John said.
Stepping closer, John pushed her hair back and slid his hands across Gretchen’s
cheeks and back behind her neck. “Is everything okay?”

If he
looked to the side he would see Carl. He might not guess what she was really
upset about, but he would make a connection and think Carl had done something.
Pulling John in closer, Gretchen made sure she was blocking his view. “I’m just
a little tired,” she said. “It’s been a long day. My feet are killing me.”

“I can take
care of that as soon as everyone goes home,” he said. His lips fell to the side
of Gretchen’s neck, kissing her softly. Her knees struggled to keep from
collapsing. She wanted to melt under his touch. She knew there was a room full
of people surrounding them, but she suddenly didn’t care about any of them.

“I can take
care of anything else that hurts too,” John said, his lips moving up her neck.

The desire
to tell everyone to get out of her house was enough to wake Gretchen up from John’s
hypnotizing touch. Her dad was there somewhere. What if he was watching? That
thought was enough to make her pull back.

“John,
please, later,” she said. Unfortunately, Gretchen wasn't very convincing.

“Later?”
John asked. “Promise?”

Desire
pulsed in his eyes, taking away every other thought in her mind. There was no
more Carl, no more Desi, and no more room full of people. The distance between
them closed. John’s lips were hungry against Gretchen’s. Lost in his touch, she
barely felt it when someone bumped into the back of her. But a sudden fear it
might be her dad made Gretchen dart away from John.

“Oh, sorry,
Gretchen,” Elizabeth, a friend from work, said as she stepped around them. “We
have to take off. The babysitter has to be home by ten-thirty. It was really
nice to meet you, John.”

After a
quick hug, Elizabeth and her husband pushed through the crowd to leave. When
Gretchen turned back to John, he was looking over at Carl. “Desi and Carl seem
to be getting along. That’s nice,” John said. She could see the conniving
pleasure in his smile before he turned away to talk to her friend Derek.

Gretchen
knew she should have been sharing that sentiment, but as Carl caught her eye,
she knew he had seen them kissing. The dull glean in his eyes echoed his hurt.
Desi was still at his side talking animatedly, but it didn’t look like he could
even hear her. John pressed his hand against the small of Gretchen’s back and
pulled her over to join his conversation with Derek. Carl’s eyes followed her.