Authors: Bonnie Edwards
H
olly and Deke stood in the cashier's line at the hardware store and watched as the woman chatted and flirted with every man she waited on. She looked about Deke's age, but hard ridden, which Holly thought was a harsh way of putting it, but it seemed accurate. Cheap mascara had flaked off onto her cheeks, and her eyeshadow, in a shade that had been popular a decade ago, had settled into creases in her eyelids. Her mouth turned down at the corners and her hair needed a good salon job. She'd way overestimated her ability with store-bought color.
Still, she seemed friendly enough when she spied Holly with Deke. “Hey, Deke. How's TJ?”
Which was why the woman didn't mind that Holly was with Deke.
“He's fine, Alice. Yourself?”
“Can't complain. You boys must be busy at the inn?” The question included Holly, so she smiled and nodded.
Curiosity flared in Alice's gaze. “Maybe you're the one he was looking for?”
A chill skittered down her back. “Who was looking?” she asked.
“A man. Kind of skinny. Black hair.”
“Pointed chin?” her voice came out hollow, as fear crept along her arms, raising the hair. Jack. It must be.
“Yeah, kinda.” Alice mimicked a narrow chin and Holly felt sick. “But good lookin', too.”
Deke watched Holly closely. “You all right, babe?” At her nod, he looked at the cashier. “What'd you say to him?”
Alice shrugged and took his credit card. While she slid it through her machine she dug through her memory. To Holly it seemed like a slow process, but eventually the woman perked up. “Since I hadn't seen her yet, that's what I told him. That I'd never seen her. Unh, you.” She nodded at Holly and looked pleased with her report. “He asked where the inn was though, so I figured he must be either looking for work or maybe he's family?”
“He used to be family. He's not anymore.” Her sharp retort startled the woman and her expression closed.
“Well, I didn't know.”
What the hell did Jack think he was doing? The car
had
been his, and she'd been stupid not to trust her instincts at the time. When Deke had said he thought it was blue, she'd been only too willing to agree.
“It's okay, Alice.” Deke leaned in closer to the woman, his voice soft. “Don't tell him you've seen us though, all right?”
“Uh, okay. Seriously, Deke, I didn't think there was anything wrong with giving a friendly stranger directions to a construction site. The inn's going to open for business later this summer, right?”
Holly broke in. “You didn't tell him that, did you?”
Alice blinked and her mouth turned down even farther. “I may have. I'm not sure.” She looked confused and tried to recall more details. But gossip didn't come with details, just vague embellishments and innuendo. “We chatted. He was nice and kind of hot.”
Jack had an appealing side to him. Prickly around the edges, but his nearly black eyes oozed sex in a way that some women found hard to resist.
Holly should know; she'd been one of them.
Alice piled their purchases into a reusable cotton bag Holly had insisted they take to the store, then slid it into Deke's waiting hand.
He grabbed Holly's hand none too gently and led her out to his truck. She followed quickly, keeping her eyes down. Stupid, really. She should look around to see if Jack watched from somewhere nearby. “I wonder when he got here?” she said, which seemed like the natural thing to say. She didn't want Deke to know that she thought she'd seen Jack's car the day before. This business with Jack was all hers.
She'd never shared her problems with him, with anyone; she wasn't about to start now.
Deke slammed to a halt in the parking lot, not caring that other customers walked by openly staring. “This is your ex-husband. He's here for a reason, Holly. Are you really through with him or does he have reason to believe it's not over?” His face looked thunderous. Angry and defiant.
“Don't look at me as if this is my fault.” Deke was a big guy, but now he loomed large and hard and furious. She refused to be cowed and stared just as heatedly back at him.
The breeze kicked his dark hair into waves, making him look even angrier. “You heard me: How over is this?”
“Very.” But her answer made her uncomfortable. She'd slept with Jack just before she got here. She shifted with her guilt and Deke noticed.
He stepped back as if he couldn't bear to be near her. His face closed, his body went rigid. Shit, she'd never been much of a liar. And Deke had definitely been lied to before. “Why am I doubting you, Holly?”
“We haven't even seen this man yet. It may not be Jack,” she hedged. Then she got riled. “So what if I have an ex? We're divorced. It's over. End of story.”
The heat of anger rose as she stared at him. “You can't tell me you don't have some woman in your past you cared about.”
He narrowed his eyes but she didn't heed the warning. “You didn't put in that foundation for nobody. You had plans, Deke. And they were broken, just like mine. Are you saying you've made it to thirty-two without ever having cared about someone?” She couldn't believe it, Deke was too good a man, too kindhearted not to have fallen for some woman somewhere.
He blinked and set his jaw at a stubborn angle. “It wasn't a woman I fell for.” His eyes went bleak. “I know that now.”
“Butâ” This was not something she could have seen coming. “But, you'reâ”
He held up his hands, the bag dangling in the breeze. “I'm not gay, but I'm not bringing my baggage into this. This is about yours.”
Baggage. Jack.
“What the hell is Jack doing here? You told me there was nothing to worry about.” He stepped away, yanked on his truck door and climbed inside, his face a mask of stubborn denial.
“There is nothing to worry about,” she snapped, still stunned by the force of his anger. “Jack's harmless. He's probably just here toâ” He started the truck, so she leaped into the passenger seat to avoid being left in the hardware store parking lot, an honest-to-God spectacle. She couldn't believe she'd been about to say Jack was here to get laid.
Yeah, that's exactly what Deke wanted to hear.
Deke was so large and intimidating she wasn't sure what to expect once they were alone, but she'd give her last breath knowing he'd never hurt her. He wasn't that kind of man. So she buckled up and turned her face to the side window to avoid the steaming heat of anger that rose all around him.
“I didn't ask for you to handle this for me, Deke. If this is Jack, I'll talk with him and send him back to the city.”
He grunted and pulled out of the parking lot. He turned left toward the inn. “Turn around,” she said. “Take me to your place so I can get my things. I'll move into the inn with Kylie. You won't have to deal with me or my ex-husband ever again.”
“Goddamn it.” He slammed his palm on the steering wheel, then white-knuckled the thing as he pulled a U-turn. “I got into the middle of a legal battle between a woman I cared for and her ex. I'll never do it again. She used me. Convinced me of all kinds of things that weren't true.” He glanced across the cab at her, his eyes dark pools of pain. “In the beginning, she told me the same thing you are. That there was nothing to worry about, that she'd handle everything. But then, occasionally, she'd mention some of the things he'd done, some of the shit he was pulling to hurt her and her son. I fell for it, hook, line and sinker.”
And then she saw the source of his pain. He'd wanted a family. He'd cared for this woman and her son and she used Deke's feelings for the boy to her own advantage. “Oh, Deke, I'm sorry. You wanted that little boy to have a dad. A real dad.”
He stiffened and she knew the pain was still fresh. That was why he'd been drinking so hard. He was grieving the loss of a son. She wanted to ask what happened, where the boy and his mother were now, but Deke was still raw and it wasn't her place.
He needed to understand more about her and the divorce so he'd see she wasn't a repeat of this other woman. “I went through my divorce without even getting my family involved, so I'm not about to ask you to get between Jack and me now.”
“You divorced without telling your family?”
“I told them after I left but kept the process to myself. They never warmed to Jack and I didn't think it was fair to blame him for the whole thing, which is exactly what they'd have done.” The death of her marriage had been painful enough without going over it in intimate detail during every conversation. And her father and brothers would have been in Jack's face. “I was always their little girl and baby sister.” Having anyone else deal with Jack would be admitting she couldn't stand on her own two feet. As stubborn as Aunt Trudy? Maybe. “I needed to deal with my divorce in my own way.” She still did. “And I'll deal with Jack without your help now.”
She wasn't sure if this argument signaled the end with Deke. Not everyone wanted to share their vulnerability so soon in a relationship. If he'd said too much too soon, and was already sorry for talking about his recent painful break up, the end could be on them without warning. Intimacy needed to be earned and she had no way to know how far along that path they'd gone.
None of this pain would have surfaced if Jack had just stayed home. “This is exactly the kind of shit Jack loves to pull. He's ruined what you and I have and I'm so sorry about that, Deke. I didn't want this to happen. When we promised to leave our baggage out of this, I took my promise to heart. I never meant for this to happen.” Her voice wobbled in the middle of her speech, but she pulled it together admirably by the end. If Jack knew the way he'd ruined a good thing for her, he'd be happy enough to crow.
“I don't want us to part on angry terms, Deke. We have to see each other at the inn. It'll be uncomfortable for TJ and Marnie, too.” The distance to his camper was eaten by the tires on the damp road. Another misty rain morning.
When he didn't respond, she turned to the window again and stared out at the passing trees. Trees and more trees. She wanted to look out the other side, but Deke would think she was staring at him, so she subsided into her seat and let her mind wander.
She refused to let her thoughts settle anywhere, because if she did, she'd get angry again: at Jack, at herself and at Deke, when none of this was his fault.
Â
Deke drove on autopilot. Good thing it was midmorning with little traffic. Holly sat beside him stonefaced and staring out the side window to avoid looking in his direction.
He couldn't blame her. He'd really lost it back there. But he had the right to be sick and tired of women and their baggage. He tried to get back his
fuck 'em all
attitude but he wasn't built that way.
And there, right
there
, was his problem.
He wanted a woman, a family, a home. A life.
Why couldn't he find a woman who wanted the same things? Who came without baggage? Losing Misty's son Gabriel had kicked the shit out of him, plain and simple. He'd loved the boy like his own and he wanted to hate Misty for tearing them apart.
A sniffle from Holly brought him back from the simmering sense of loss that had never gone away.
The moments spent with Holly at his building site had been filled with a future again. He glanced at her and caught the sag in her shoulders as she did her best to ignore him.
It must be like ignoring an angry bear inches from your face. “What do you think Jack's up to? Why would he be here?”
She turned, her face a furious mask, her blue eyes snapping. “I don't need your help. Did I say one word about being helpless? This is my problem, Deke.”
“So some guy comes around asking questions and looking for you and I'm supposed to ignore it?”
“Yes. I said I wouldn't bring anything to our table and I won't. I don't go back on my word, and if you're bringing a woman who did go back on her word to
our
table, that's your shit. Don't lay it on me.”
He jerked in his seat and the truck veered for a second. When he righted it, he still couldn't think of what to say. So he said nothing.
When the turnoff for Lyle's place came up, he turned in. She was right, he was taking on her concerns about her ex when she hadn't asked him to. His downfall was wanting to rescue women. This one clearly didn't want or need his help.
He should be relieved. This was exactly what he'd wanted when he struck the no-baggage bargain. It was stupid to push at her, demanding to be let in to her problems. He'd said he didn't want to know and he should stick to that. He pulled to a stop in front of his camper.
“Thanks, I'll get my stuff,” Holly said. “It shouldn't take long.”
She was leaving. He put his hand on her arm when she opened the door to jump out. She looked at him, wary. “I was wrong to assume you wanted help. Jack is your problem, not mine.” It was hard but he knew not to ask any more about her break up. Whatever was going on with her ex, it was none of his business. She'd made that clear even when he'd been an ass. “I'm sorry about bringing Misty's lies into this. It was wrong.”
She blinked and her eyes looked misted.
No way would he ask another question. But still, something was off about Jack. If Holly hadn't told him where she would be, she had good reason. “I'll keep out of your business. But I'd like you to stay with me.” It would be safer if she were with him, but he couldn't say it. She did not need to be rescued and she'd spit nails before asking for help.
“I'll think about it,” she grumbled. Her expression was just as dark as it had been before so he expected to be on pins and needles for the rest of the day.
“Let me know when you've decided.” He tried to keep his tone light and easy but it was tough. “I'm sure an air mattress is plenty comfortable.”