Mercy for the Fallen (10 page)

“We’ll build her an apartment over the garage.”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“As a heart attack,” he replied, unperturbed by my doubts and I was reminded of how much he missed his own mother.  “Maybe this will take some of the pressure off.  You can finish school, I can work my late hours at the club and Evie gets to know her grandmother.  Win-win-win.  Besides, it might come in handy when we expand our family.”

How had this turned into
that
conversation?  I lowered my voice, waiting for Eve to go into the bathroom to wash her hands before I spoke again.  “You’re talking about having another baby?” 

“You do want more kids, don’t you?”

“I… suppose I do.  But it feels like we just got some breathing room now.  We’re finally done with the diapers and the bottles and Evie’s not what you’d call normal.  I’m not sure now is such a great time to bring a baby into the equation.”

“Relax, Mercy, I didn’t say we should have one tomorrow.  I’m just putting it out there.  If it happens, it happens.  We have plenty of time, right?”

Easing, I nodded.  “The rest of our lives,” I smiled.  Reaching for the Tupperware, I started to relax again, allowing myself to think of the future.  Maybe if my mother was around more we could get to know each other again, and it would be nice for Eve to spend some time with her too. 

“There’s one thing I’d like you to do for me.”  Parker interrupted my train of thought.

“What’s that?”

“Invite Adam to the wedding.”

Of all the things he could have said, that one was definitely the most unexpected.  Maybe with the exception of asking Adam to be his best man.  “Parker… don’t you think that’s going to make him uncomfortable?  Not to mention us?”

“I need him to see how committed you are to me.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve made that obvious for the past three years,” I retorted.  But I kept coming back to that kiss.  Maybe he was right.  “Okay, sure.  I’ll invite him.  Maybe he won’t come, but at least he’ll get the message loud and clear.” 

Chapter Ten

Totally Awesome Tuesdays had gone through something of a metamorphosis since Eve came along.  These days it came in two stages.  The first stage involved letting Eve dominate Aunt Daffy’s attention.  Sometimes there were movies involved, sometimes they played babies or
Pretty Princess
.  Usually there was a bedtime story and then Daphne and I got to have some grown up girl bonding time.  This Tuesday I’d gone with a theme, as I often did, picking
My Best Friend’s Wedding
and
27 Dresses
for our movie selections.  For snacks I had rice crispy treats smooshed into the shape of tiered wedding cakes and cheese puffs shaped like rings.

It only took about ten seconds for her to guess what was up.  The sparkly ring on my finger didn’t hurt either and Daphne snatched up my hand the instant she noticed it. 

“For real this time?”  Instead of excitement, there was a smidge of skepticism in her clear blue eyes. 

“Yes, for real.”  I pulled my hand back with a frown.  “What kind of a question is that?”

“I don’t know, I guess because you’ve always been so against the whole wedding thing.”

“That was before, when I was marrying him for all the wrong reasons.”

“And that’s not what you’re doing now?”

I gaped at her.  Where was this coming from?  Of anyone I knew, I expected Daphne to be the most excited about the wedding.  Wasn’t she the one always championing a happy ever after ending?  “Of course not.  I love him.  It’s because I was worried I wouldn’t love him enough before that I broke off our engagement.  But obviously I’ve grown to love him enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

“Then why haven’t you agreed to marry him since?”

“I don’t know, I guess I thought it wasn’t necessary.”

“And this has nothing to do with the fact that Adam’s back in your life again?”

My expression darkened as she brought up Adam.  “One has nothing to do with the other.  He breezes in to disrupt things and then breezes right back out again.  He might say he’s ready for more, but I know it wouldn’t last.  This will show him once and for all, I’m serious about Parker being the man for me and then he can move on.”

“You shouldn’t be marrying Parker to deliver a message to Adam.  You should be doing it because you can’t live without him.”

“I
can’t
imagine what my life would be like right now without Parker in it.  He’s been there for me and Bunny since before she was born.” 

“That sounds more like gratitude.”

“It’s love.  It’s been love for a long time now.  You know that, you’ve seen us together.”  She didn’t say anything, and I felt my temper flare.  “I thought you’d be happy for me, Daph.  I thought we could share this together, but if you don’t want to be a part of it, I’ll understand.”  I hated to put it in those terms, but I wouldn’t have her moping in the background, trying to bring up Adam at every turn. 

“I’m sorry,” she said dully, looking down at her hands and I felt about an inch high for being so blunt when I knew how tenderhearted Daphne could be. 

I tried changing the subject.  “So, what’s going on with you lately?  How’s Kirk?” 

“He’s good, I guess.”

There were deep smudges beneath her eyes I hadn’t noticed before, and she was thinner.  Not the good kind of thin – like she’d been hitting the treadmill lately or on a juice fast – but underfed thin, with a sallow tint to her skin.  Her long, blonde hair still hung in perfect ringlets, but that was natural, not from any particular effort on her part.

“Daphne… are you alright?  You look pretty tired.”

“I haven’t been sleeping well,” she admitted with a listless shrug.

“Have you tried melatonin?  There’s this great sleep drink.  It’s peach flavored, which is weird, but it’s actually pretty…”

“No, I fall asleep fine.  But…”

“But?”

“I’ve been having these strange dreams.”

“What kind of dreams?”

“Dreams about Sam.”

“Tell me about them.” 

With some coaxing, she told me she’d had these recurring dreams about Sam.  Sometimes they talked about movies, or books, never anything too personal.  Sometimes they didn’t talk, they just sat together, watching the sun set over Puget Sound.  Sometimes he held her hand. 

“About a month ago the dreams stopped,” she said, pausing for a breath.  “And then a couple of days ago, I dreamed about him, but even though I started walking toward him he didn’t get any closer.  No matter how far I walked or ran, he stayed in the distance.  Finally, he sorta waved at me and then disappeared.  Ever since then, I keep thinking I’ll see him there, and I wait and I wait, but he never shows.”

No wonder she wasn’t getting any rest.  “I don’t think you’re going to find him anytime soon, Daph.  I should tell you, I saw him a couple of days ago.”

“What?  Why didn’t you tell me!  Around here?  Why didn’t he come and see me?”

“No, not around here,” I assured her quickly.  “In Eden, actually.  And I’m not supposed to talk about that stuff, otherwise I would’ve mentioned it before.”  But I couldn’t let her keep hanging out in the Ether waiting for something that might never happen.  “Sam is on some kind of super secret pilgrimage, and I don’t know how long it’ll take.  So you might as well get some rest and stop waiting for him in the Ether.”

“The Ether… is that what I’ve been doing?” She blinked in surprise.

“I think so.  Otherwise you’d be better rested after dreaming about him, don’t you think?”

“But now that I know how to get there, he might come and see me again.” 

“I got the impression that whatever he’s doing could take some time.  Years maybe.  You can’t wait around forever, Daphne.”

We were silent for a few minutes, the movie playing in the background, though neither one of us really watched it. 

“Maybe you’re right,” she said finally.  “Maybe that was his way of saying goodbye.”

“I’m sorry, Daph.  I really am.  I wish things could be different for the two of you.”

“It’s not your fault.  And I’m sorry I was such a downer about Parker.  He really is a great guy.  I know the two of you will be super happy together.”

“It’s okay, I can see how you might be sour on the whole wedding thing right now.”

“No, I totally want to help with the planning.  You are going to have a real wedding this time, aren’t you?  No getting married at City Hall?”

“Are you sure you want to hear about it?”

“Definitely,” she smiled.  “Who knows, they say you have a higher chance of finding your future spouse at a wedding.  Maybe I’ll meet someone special?”

I reached for the wedding notebook, as we’d started calling it, sharing some of our ideas.  Little by little, the Daphne I knew and loved came back as she caught excitement for the idea and by the time the movie was over, I had another three pages of notes in the notebook.  By the time the second movie was over, we had one less bottle of wine in the house, and more than a dozen websites bookmarked on how to make a magical wedding happen for less than a fortune. 

“Do you want to sleep over tonight?  You can stay in the guest room, or we can crash in here,” I offered, when it came time for her to leave.

“As fun as that sounds, I think I’d like to sleep in my own bed tonight.” 

I stood up to help her find her coat, frowning at the way the room spun until I caught hold of the end table.  “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?  We went through a whole bottle of wine.”  If she felt even half as loopy as I did, she had no business getting behind the wheel of a car.   

“No,
you
went through a whole bottle of wine.  I only had one glass,” she replied, finding her coat with no trouble.

“Weird.”  I didn’t remember drinking all that much.  I frowned into the bottom of the bottle, wondering if it’d spilled without me noticing.

“Get some sleep, Mercy.  I’ll come over on Thursday and we can start talking bridesmaids dresses, okay?”

“Okey dokey,” I said with a sloppy smile.  “Thanks for coming over tonight, Daph.  I needed that.” 

“I did too.  I really am happy for you.”  She paused by the door.  “What about Adam though, does he know about the engagement?”

“No, not yet.”

“You should tell him.  You don’t want him to hear it from somebody else.”

I gave her a hug and sent her off into the night.  Feeling bold, I dialed Adam, annoyed when I got his voicemail.  Didn’t he ever pick up the phone?  “Adam, it’s me.  Call me when you get this, I need to talk to you.”

It wasn’t until I had my shirt up and over my head that I heard his voice from the corner of my bedroom.  “Slow down a little.  You still owe me that striptease, you know.” 

Instead of running or hiding like a scared rabbit, I calmly pulled my shirt the rest of the way off, trading it for an oversized sleep shirt whose sleeve took me three tries to get my arm through.  “Stop showing up in my bedroom,” I grumbled once I was decently covered again. 

“You made it sound urgent on the phone.  I thought I should come right over.”

“You’re supposed to knock on the door like a normal person, remember?”  Reaching up under the shirt to take my bra off, I couldn’t get the damn thing unhooked and finally gave up. 

“Are you drunk right now?” 

“I had a bit of wine, but I’m thinking clear enough.  I’m glad you’re here though.”

“Yeah?”  He perked up, leaning forward with interest. 

“Yes, I have something important to tell you.”

A slow smile spread across his face.  “You decided to try South America after all.”

“I’ve decided to marry Parker.”  It came out blunter than I’d intended, but there it was.  Adam’s brow furrowed at the news, his lips dragging south.

“Did you make that decision hammered too?”

“I’m not hammered, I’m just a little spinny right now.  And no, I didn’t have anything to drink.  If you must know, I told him I’d marry him a couple of days ago, after we got back from Eden.”

“You’re kidding me, right?  This has got to be a joke.  You’re marrying him
now
of all times?”

“No, I’m not kidding.  He asked me to marry him a while ago and I said yes.”

“And you’re sure about this.”

“Very.  Not that I expect you to understand this, but I love him, Adam.”  I sat down on the edge of the bed, searching for the right words to make him understand it was the right choice for me.  “I love how he makes me feel and I love how he’s always there for us, no matter what.  I love how he loves Evie and how he’s changed his whole life around to make us a family.  He wants to adopt her, you know, he wants a real commitment to us and to our future.  He puts us first, and now I have a chance to put him first for a change.  I’m sorry if that hurts you.”

“No, I get it.” He waved my apology away, rising to his feet.  “Thanks for telling me in person, I appreciate it.”

“You’re not mad?”  Somehow I thought he’d try to talk me out of it, or at least tell me what a boneheaded decision it was.  He seemed to accept it way better than Daphne had. 

Adam came to stand before me, reaching up to brush his thumb across my cheek.  “How can I be mad about you finding someone who’ll love and take care of you better than I ever could?”

He’d managed to stun me into silence.  There was no anger in his eyes, only acceptance.  Something I never thought I’d find there.  Not that I wanted him to feel hurt and angry, but was this the same Adam who’d pitched a fit the last time I accepted Parker’s proposal or some imposter in an Adam-suit?

“You’re invited to the wedding,” I blurted out.  It was a stupid thing to say compared to the heartfelt words from him, but it was all I had.

“Thanks, but I think it’s time for me to stay away for a while.”

“Bunny…”

“Is in good hands.  Tell Parker I won’t oppose the adoption.  But someday you’ll have to tell her about me.”

“I will,” I nodded, too stunned to say anything else.

“Goodbye, Mercy.  I wish you every happiness.”  I thought he might try to kiss me goodbye, but he turned to leave. 

He was giving up.  That stunned me more than anything else.  Gone was the brash schmoozer, convinced his charm could seduce any woman with a single glance.  Gone was the passionate lover who declared that no man would ever love me the way he did.  Instead, he’d become something I never thought I’d see.  Humble.  Solicitous.  A graceful loser.  He’d become the better man.