Mercy F*uck (22 page)

Tick, tick, tick
…

Leaping over the bar, I grab Carrie’s hand running full tilt out the front exit throwing her through first. Hot on her heels, I tackle her on to the concrete covering her body with my own when the world as I knew it, literally exploded.

Extreme pressure, heat and…wait, was I flying?

I found out that no, I wasn’t flying.

At least not anymore, a brick wall had gotten in the way.

My last thought before the darkness took me was,
Axle had saved my seat in the Impala
.

When I opened my eyes it was to Carrie slapping my face. Personally, I didn’t appreciate her roughing me up but I was on my back unable to move. Testing my neck, I let it fall to the right noticing the flames, smoke and damage.

Instantly, a piece of my heart broke
. How much more could the poor building take?

Then my mind cleared enough to remind me that
, someone really wants to kill me.

Sliding my phone out, I hit call and though I couldn’t hear shit because my ears were ringing, I started talking. First, assuming Axle could understand me, I rattled off Gadget’s number. Second, I instructed him to tell Gadget to clear every business I owned and when I could faintly hear Axle’s yelling, with numbness close to taking over I ended the call with, “
The Hole
is gone.”

Propping myself up, I watch Carrie as she begins to succumb to shock. Not wanting to deal with her shit, I dial Tiny to get his big ass here to handle her. Cops, firetrucks, ambulances, all of them show up to do their thing while I sat there and wishing I had a cigarette. When Axle shows up and sees what happened, I watch him lose his fucking mind.

As for me, I was fucking
pissed
.

Drew making breakfast wearing nothing but my t-shirt was both settling and stirring my guilt. While she hummed to herself unaware I was staring, I felt the ache spread in my chest. Little by little she was lowering her guard, trusting me a bit more each day. So why the fuck did I feel so damn guilty?

I supposed it’s because Carrie used to be the one in this kitchen, only she donned a robe and made food I never wanted to eat. I was feeling like a supreme asshole because the woman had tried; only I hadn’t wanted her food or attention. I may not have been purposely cruel, but I wasn’t nice either. I was simply indifferent which now I understood, was worse. I punished her for not being Drew and she punished me for not being Drew too. Hell, eight months into the marriage that shouldn’t have been, we’d started sleeping separately and sex? I hadn’t wanted it.

It took nine years to find Drew and in a short time I was finally getting my firsts.

Showering together, talking at all hours of the night with her naked body pressed against mine, sitting on the toilet as she got ready for the day because watching her eased me. Relearning what made her laugh, what made me laugh. Fear of loss was riding me hard. I had to find a way to lock her down forever.

“Hungry?” she asked snapping me from my thoughts.

“Yeah,” I said coming into the kitchen and burying my face in her neck. God, I couldn’t lose her twice.

“Food before fornication,” she moaned gripping my wrists.

“Don’t see why we can’t do both.”

“A multitasker,” she panted lowering herself onto the counter. “I like it.”

I wasn’t a multitasker; I was a man on a mission.

Drew was not a woman to fuck with right now.

She was wired, ready to explode.

Bringing her, Tiny, and even fucking Carrie back to my place, I wasn’t far from exploding either.

Having my ex-wife back inside the house I booted her from, was unpleasant for me. However, I seemed to be the only one having an issue with it. Carrie didn’t so much as blink in recognition that she once lived here. During our marriage this was her space, I only visited, preferring to stay at work. While Tiny was calming her down because she was clearly shaken, Drew was making calls or rather in her words, calling in markers.

As for me? I was fucking done.

Someone planted a motherfucking bomb inside of her bar.

Had she not heard it, she’d be…

I’d have lost her again
…

“Seriously,” Drew grunts from behind me. “It’s weird again, Carrie knock it off.”

Whipping around I see Drew pushing Carrie off of her and failing. Carrie was a professional clinger; I wasn’t kidding about this. “Tiny, handle her,” she says pointing at Carrie who will not let go.

“Carrie,” I boom in anger and was stunned when she ignored me.

“Babe,” Tiny says gently. “Let Drew go, please.”

“—-shit to deal with here,” she was saying to Gadget on the phone. “Tomorrow works, later.” Then getting in Carrie’s space she asks her, “You good now? Or do you need me to knock you out? I can only put out so many fires at once, woman.”

Surprisingly, Carrie did not cower or cry, which was a first and so was her saying, “I’m good, Drew.”

“Thank fuck,” she mumbles and I watch her dial another number and then I watch Carrie smile while she does it.

When she finished checking in on Shane, keeping him far from the fall out, she filled her crew in and let them know they still had work at her other places if they wanted it. Finally finished, I watch her flop on the couch and stare up at the ceiling.

“What’d Gadget say?” I ask pulling her into my lap.

“Meeting him tomorrow,” she says vaguely and I took the hint that she wouldn’t say more in front of company.

“Shane’s good?”

“Yeah,” she says patting her pockets for her smokes she made me stop and get. Fishing them out she stands up, approaches me, takes my hand and says, “Let’s get some fresh air.”

Passing Carrie, she asks me, “Um Axle, could I speak with you --”

“Not a good time, Carrie,” Drew says bluntly. “Wait for an opening, we’ve discussed this.”

“No problem, Drew.”

Seriously, what did I miss?
Following her outside I asked her as much.

“She wants to apologize blah blah blah,” she shrugs it off. “I told her it was up to you if you wanted to hear it.”

Pulling her to me hard, she lets out an oomph but latches on to me too. “You’re shaking,” she whispers.

“That could have gone a different way,” I tremble. “Had you not heard, hauled ass out…Fuck, Drew, it should have killed you.”

“I believe that when it’s your time, it’s your time. Tonight, wasn’t my time. I’m here, Axle, and I’m okay.”

“I am not fucking okay, Drew.”

“Shh,” she says pulling me down for a kiss. “Hey, look at me I’m here, touch me, see for yourself.”

“You’ve only got a few scratches and you threw yourself on top of Carrie for fuck’s sake.”

“Would you rather I had left her inside?” she asks but then says, “Don’t answer that. Anyway, tomorrow when we meet up with Gadget, I have to know if you’re going to be okay with whatever he suggests.”

“I’m with you,” I promise her but if I found out who did this, Gadget wouldn’t be needed. I’d kill the bastard myself. Releasing a sigh, I fought to even say it. “Your fucking dream is gone, Drew.”

“Structures can be rebuilt and no one was hurt, that’s what matters.”

“Quit trying to calm me down, it’s okay to be upset.”

“Oh, I’m more than upset,” she assures me. “Which is why I’m giving Gadget the green light and sparing no expense.”

Because I agreed with her but needed her calm, I changed the subject. “Are you going to smoke?”

“Maybe later,” she says looking out into nothing. “I have a killer fucking headache right now.”

“Come on,” I say leading her back inside. “I’ll kick them out and get you some aspirin.”

We weren’t two steps inside when Carrie launched herself at Drew and held the hell on. Tiny mutters, “Shit woman, you can really cling,” while trying to unsuccessfully remove her.

“You saved my life,” she bawls into her neck and unfortunately it wasn’t an act but the real deal. “No one has ever cared about me, and out of everyone, you should hate me the most.”

“Hey now,” Drew whispers wrapping her arms around her. “Everyone in this room cares about you.”

I wanted to call bullshit on that but I didn’t. While I wouldn’t say I hated Carrie, I can’t say that I cared either. The woman had wrung out every emotion I had leaving me resentful and bitter.

“I can’t believe you saved me.”

Seeing Drew cradle Carrie in her arms was almost comical considering the size difference. Carrie was tall, Drew was extraordinarily small but it was clear Drew knew she needed it. In the most soothing voice I have ever heard, Drew tells her, “Your life was worth saving and the next time shit gets hard I need you to remember that.”

“He better marry you,” she says out of nowhere and we all went still on that one. “Or I’ll kick his ass.”

“You’re getting there,” Drew says pulling away. “With a lot of practice you might even get the drop on Tiny.”

To this, the giant actually blushed. He didn’t say shit word wise but his face said it all. He was all about Carrie and to that I could only say
good luck
.
He’s gonna need it…
Glancing at me for something, which I had no clue what it was, Carrie smiled and instead of yelling at her or looking away, I winked. When her God damn face lit up and it hit me that all she ever wanted was for me to give a shit. To do right by her, I wish I could but I only gave a shit about one woman and it wasn’t my ex-wife.

“That was a homemade bomb,” Detective Aaron Patterson says solemnly. I’ve known the guy for years, way before he took the oath to protect. Prior to joining the force, he liked whiskey and loose women. He’s been a friend for long time and always gave me the low down before anyone else did. “Lucky for you, whoever made it did a fairly shitty job.”

“Fucking blew my bar up, Aaron,” I reminded him. “Blew up my fucking boat too.”

“I realize that, Drew,” he said softly. “Like I said, had this person had more skill, you wouldn’t have survived either attempt on your life.”

Well shit, there was that.

Even in Axle’s arms and completely wiped out last night, I didn’t sleep.

I had everything and nothing on my mind.

Leaving him to rest enough for the both of us, at seven a.m. I met up with Gadget at his favorite coney joint, Zef’s.

Unfortunately, he had shit to go on except to say Willis was riding out a suspension, which wasn’t good.

He also had an alibi for both the boat and bar bombings. Not that I bought this. Hell, he was a dirty cop for fuck’s sake, but without proof, I was swimming in circles.