Meridon (Wideacre Trilogy 3) (15 page)

Katie pushed back her mass of yellow hair. ‘You slapped me hard enough today,’ she said to Jack. Her voice, heavy with the Dorset burr, had a provocative little lilt to it. ‘My wrists is all red.’

She held her arms out to him, palms up so that he should see the red marks. I shot a look at Dandy. She was staring at Katie as if she had never seen her before.

‘That’s nothing,’ David said baldly. ‘Hello, Merry. Are you walking all right?’

‘I’m stiff,’ I confessed, ‘and a bit unsteady. But I feel well enough now.’

Jack’s smile was openly warm. ‘I missed you,’ he said frankly. ‘It’s good to see you in here again. What did you think of Dandy?’

He drew me towards him and put an arm around my waist to support me as we walked towards the door. I let him help me over the hard ground, as I had let his father guide me before. I did not flinch from the touch of the Gowers. Father and son, I had come to trust them. And Jack’s touch on my waist was warm, I could feel the roughness of his hand through the linen shirt.

Katie popped up on his other side, took his arm.

‘What did you think of the act, Meridon?’ she asked. ‘Isn’t Jack fine? I feel so brave when I hears him calling the swing. I just jumps when he tells me!’

I hesitated. I felt as if during my illness a whole world had shifted slightly so that everything was out of frame. I looked past Jack at Dandy. She was blank-faced too.

‘It was fine,’ I said neutrally. ‘Robert was pleased.’

‘Robert!’ The poorhouse girl gave a little affected scream. ‘I calls him Mr Gower. I’d never dare call him Robert!’ She seemed to cling a little closer to Jack. ‘I really do respects your da,’ she assured him.

Jack turned his head to me and gave me one of his slow provocative winks.

‘So you should,’ he said. ‘Merry and my father are old friends. He gave her the right to call him by his given name. And Dandy. Everything is different when we’re working all together on the road.’

‘I can’t wait!’ she exclaimed. ‘I can’t wait to get away from this horrid little village where everyone looks at me and points at me. I can’t wait to get away to do shows every night, and me and Dandy wear our pretty short skirts!’

I looked across at Dandy. It was my guess that she would be seething with temper. I was right. Her face had that curiously intense expression which came over her in one of her sudden total rages.

‘Dandy,’ I said quickly, before she could explode. ‘Dandy, can you take me to the kitchen? I want to sit down.’

Jack stopped, went to lift me, but I put out an ungracious elbow and pushed him off.

‘I’ll go with Dandy,’ I said.

‘All right,’ Katie said blithely. ‘We’ll check the horses together, won’t we Jack?’

Jack gave me another of his rueful lazy looks and let her turn him, let her lead him away into the gathering darkness towards the stable and the hay loft.

‘My oath, what a whore,’ I exclaimed to Dandy under my breath.

Her black eyes were blazing. ‘The damned she-dog!’ she said. ‘I’ll scratch her eyes out if she tries anything on with Jack!’

‘You can hardly be surprised,’ I said. ‘She’s been here a good three weeks. Surely she was like this all along?’

Dandy was almost incoherent with temper. ‘No! No!’ she said. ‘D’you think I’d have stood for it? With my Jack? Not a damned look, not so much as a whisper. All she’s done is work night and
day on the trapeze and learned to swing. She never so much as glanced at him!’

‘Why now, then?’ I asked puzzled.

Dandy scowled dreadfully towards the bright lights of the kitchen which shone over the darkening garden. ‘It’s you,’ she said suddenly. ‘It must be you. She’s never done it before. She thinks he’s after you. He came down the ladder all showy to please you, and he put his arm around you. He’s been asking for you every day, and he went to Salisbury twice to buy you flowers and once for fruit. His da never told him wrong for wasting the time either. She must think he’s courting you and she’s trying to cast poison.’

I gaped. ‘She’s mad,’ I said blankly. ‘Doesn’t she know what Robert would do if he thought any of us were setting lures for Jack?’

‘No,’ Dandy said swiftly. ‘She’s hardly seen Robert. He’s been training the horses all day, while we’ve been working. He’s never told her what he plans for Jack. He’s hardly spoken to her.’

We stood for a moment in silence gazing at each other and then suddenly we both broke into laughter. ‘Oh don’t! Oh! Don’t!’ I said, holding my sides. ‘My ribs still hurt! Don’t make me laugh, Dandy!’

‘Won’t he be absolutely wild when he finds out!’ Dandy crowed. ‘Won’t she catch it then! It’ll be back to the poorhouse for her! Act or no act!’

I stopped laughing for a moment. ‘That’s a bit hard,’ I said. ‘It’s a high price to pay for being a bit of a flirt.’

Dandy’s face was stony. ‘Who cares?’ she demanded. ‘I won’t have her hanging on Jack. If Jack goes with any one of us, he goes with me. I’ve been ready enough to keep things cold between us because his da ordered it and you begged me; but if she is crawling all over him I’m damned if I see him taken away from me!’

‘Now Dandy, it’s nothing,’ I said swiftly. ‘It’s probably as you say – that she was trying to tease me, to put me in my place. She doesn’t know that none of us court Jack. That none of us work
like that. I’m back sleeping in the stables tonight. I’ll tell her then.’

Dandy tossed her thick black hair and looked mulish. ‘I’d rather we just told Robert that she was chasing Jack and let her go back to wherever she came from,’ she said unkindly. ‘I don’t like having her in my room. I don’t like her hanging on Jack. I saw him first. He saw me. He’s had eyes for me from that first day, Merry. We only did nothing to please his da. You know that.’

I thought a moment. I remembered Jack’s hot eyes upon me, and how he had asked me if I dreamed of him. I thought of him watching me as I swam and being angered by my indifference.

‘He’s a coquette as bad as her,’ I said without sympathy. ‘He’d go with any girl who flattered his vanity, and he’d be challenged by any girl who kept him at a distance. I’d not be surprised to see him take up with her.’

Dandy grabbed my arm. ‘I mean this, Merry,’ she said rapidly. ‘I’ve held off from him because I wanted to see how the land lay with his da, and it’s been so different here. I wanted to see if there was any chance of this damned future that Robert plans for him. But I wanted him when I first saw him. And I want him still.’

I held her away from me and looked at her carefully. I knew Dandy, I had watched and loved her as close as a mother, as intently as a lover. I knew she was only speaking half the truth. The part which she would not admit was her vanity and her pride. She could not stand the thought that Jack might go into the hay loft with the pretty fair-headed pauper when he had obeyed his father and not laid a finger on Dandy for month after tempting month. Dandy had been the prettiest girl any of us had ever seen for so long, that the thought of coming second best was enough to overset her.

‘Oh come on, Dandy,’ I said reasonably. ‘I know you fancy him. He’s a nice enough young lad. Vain as a monkey, but nice enough. But you know how Robert is about him; he looks very high for him. There’s no chance for anything more for you than a kiss and a romp. You could do better than that. When you’re
Mamselle Dandy you’ll meet better men than Jack could ever be. It’s as Robert says: if you keep your head then you could marry well. That’s better than a roll in the hay with a lad whose father could ruin you if he caught you.’

For a moment she looked uncertain, but then we heard the trapdoor to the upstairs room at the stables slam and Dandy’s eyes blazed.

‘The little whore!’ she said, and she tore herself out of my grip and raced towards the stables.

I tried to run after her but my ribs still hurt, and my shoulder. I followed on behind, and by the time I reached the stables Jack was tumbling down the stairs shrugging his jacket on. He gave me one of his naughty sideways grins.

‘Hey, Merry,’ he said. ‘Dandy’s thrown me out of your room, says she wants to change into her gown for dinner. I’ll see you later.’

‘What were you doing in my room, Jack?’ I asked him, curious for his answer.

He gave me a wink. ‘Nowt serious, Merry,’ he said.

‘Hasn’t your father warned you off Katie?’ I asked curiously.

Jack’s dark gaze twinkled. ‘Half of Warminster has had her,’ he said. ‘My da wouldn’t waste his breath. He knows I won’t let it affect my work. He knows she won’t get a belly on her. He knows it’s not loving. He don’t care.’

Jack beamed at me for a moment. ‘Are you jealous, Merry?’ he asked softly. ‘Did you think I was kissing the soft hairs on the back of her neck, and licking the hollow between her shoulder blades? Did you want that for yourself?’

I stepped backwards so that he could see my face clearly in the light of the horn lantern. I knew my face was calm, my eyes clear, unmoved.

‘No,’ I said. ‘I did not want that for myself. I will never want that. Not from you, not from any man. I wondered if you were man enough to go against your da’s word or if you would stay a virgin all your life to please him. Now I understand, you’ll only have your poke where he permits.’

Jack flushed brick-red with anger at that gibe.

‘I don’t admire your taste,’ I said loftily. ‘But don’t forget that your da only allowed her. He said you were not to have Dandy.’

Jack threw his hands up in impatience. ‘Dandy!’ he said. ‘She’s all you ever think of!’

‘Don’t you think of her?’ I demanded, quick as a hawk in training to a lure.

Jack shrugged. ‘Not much,’ he said lightly. ‘I can live without her.’

‘Good,’ I said, and I meant it. Robert Gower was the only man in the world who would feed and house Dandy and me while I was bruised and battered and unable to work and while Dandy had no skill she could sell on her own. We were as dependent on him as if we were his pauper servants. I knew now that Dandy desired Jack and I feared she would make a set for him. The only thing which stood between us and the frozen road out of Warminster was Jack’s respect for his father’s wishes.

‘Don’t forget your da said you were not to look at her,’ I insisted.

Jack shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes at the darkening night sky. ‘Merry, you carry on like some prioress. I don’t want your damned sister. I could do with a roll in the hay. Katie offered it for free. I’d do it with Katie, I wouldn’t touch Dandy with a ten-foot barge pole. All right?’

‘All right,’ I said at last.

I hoped to God it was.

I expected to find Katie with her shirt ripped and her face scratched. Poorhouse brat she might be, Warminster whore she might be, but I did not think she would exceed my sister in the art of dirty fighting. But when I climbed slowly up the stairs to the loft-bedroom they were sitting side by side brushing each other’s hair and giggling together.

‘He put his hand down the inside of my shirt!’ I heard Katie say. Dandy giggled delightedly. ‘I said to him: “I don’t know what you’re looking for down there, Jack!”’

Dandy rocked with laughter at this sally. ‘You never did!’ she said. ‘What did he do then?’

‘He took my hand and put it down his breeches!’ Katie said triumphantly.

‘And?’ Dandy prompted.

Katie’s sharp hungry little face grew avid. ‘He was hot,’ she said. ‘He was hard as a stallion to a mare.’

I was watching Dandy’s face and I saw a shadow of absolute envy pass across it. But she laughed merrily enough.

‘I’m sorry I came in and spoiled sport then!’ she said lightly. ‘Would you have done it with him, if I had not come in?’

‘Oh aye!’ Katie said at once. ‘I was hot for it too!’

She and Dandy fell into each other’s arms and rocked with laughter. Dandy’s eyes met mine across the fair head and her dark eyes were cold as ice.

‘I’m surprised he dares,’ she said. ‘When Merry and I joined the show his da told us plain that there was to be no courting.’

Katie’s smile was world-weary. ‘’Tis hardly courting,’ she said. ‘It’s just a bit of fun. You’d hardly call it courting. We’re neither of us new to it. And neither of us would speak of love.
Mr Gower told me I was to mind my ways in the village. He didn’t say nothing about at home.’

‘But you don’t care for Jack?’ Dandy asked sharply.

Katie laughed lazily, put her hands to her head to pin up her tumbling blonde hair. ‘I cared enough a minute ago,’ she said lazily. ‘I’d have cared to do it with him then. But I don’t mind now. If I get needful I can sneak down to the Bush in the village. There’s a couple of lads down there I know well. They’ll meet me behind a hedge somewhere so Mr Gower don’t know. They’ll give me a penny as well.’

Dandy’s smile was as warm as ice on a bucket. ‘Would you refuse him then?’ she asked. ‘I’ve had my eye on him since last summer. His da said “no” and he hasn’t dared. But I’ve had my eye on him for my very own. Would you refuse him if he comes to you again? To oblige me, Katie?’

Katie threw back her lovely head and laughed aloud. ‘Nay!’ she said. ‘I shouldn’t have the heart! And I had my hand down inside his breeches, Dandy, and he felt real fine to me. I couldn’t find it in me to say “no”.’

‘I’d pay,’ Dandy said patiently. ‘I’d pay you more money than you’d ever think to earn in all your life.’

Katie sneered. ‘Got your pennies saved up have you, Dandy? Saved your pennies from your horseback riding?’

‘I’d pay you a guinea,’ Dandy said. She heard my gasp and she avoided my eyes. ‘I’d pay you a guinea if you promise not to have him. I’d pay you a guinea and I’ll give it to you at Whitsun.’

‘Where’d you get a guinea from?’ Katie said, impressed despite herself.

‘We’ve got it already,’ Dandy said proudly. ‘You know Merry’s got her own horse. We’re doing better than you think. We’ve got ten guineas between the two of us, and some shillings for spending money. You’re straight out of the poorhouse, you don’t understand what it’s like for us with our own act. You’ve never seen Merry work the horses. She can earn a lot of money. We’re only staying with Robert Gower this year. Next year we could go anywhere. Anyway, I’ve got a guinea all right. And it’s yours if you keep your hands off Jack.’

‘Dandy,’ I said in an urgent undertone.

But it was too late. The poorhouse whore spat into her dirty palm and Dandy shook quickly, before she could change her mind. Dandy got up and went to the mirror and pulled at the string bow which was tying her hair. ‘I’ll know if you cheat, mind,’ she said to her reflection.

Katie slumped back on her pallet. ‘I won’t cheat,’ she said disdainfully. ‘You can keep your Jack. I have lovers I don’t have to buy. I wish you good luck with him.’

Dandy turned away from the mirror. I thought she would be angry at the gibe but her face was serene. ‘I have to get around his father yet,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘Buying you off is just the start of it.’

She pulled her gown out of the clothes chest and slipped it on over her shift. She brushed out her hair and pinned it on top of her head. There was a very faint tide mark of grime at her bare neck and she rubbed at it with a damp forefinger and then put a clean white collar atop.

I sat on my bed and said nothing. Katie got to her feet and pulled on her poorhouse skirt as a replacement for her working breeches. She looked from Dandy to me and then went down the stairs to the stables below in silence.

‘One guinea,’ I said grimly.

Dandy turned from the mirror and put out her hands to me. ‘Don’t look like that, Merry,’ she said. ‘If I pull Jack and marry him then we won’t need your little ten guineas, we’ll have this house and the whole show.’

‘If you so much as try then my little ten guineas is all we’ll have,’ I said miserably. ‘Robert warned you, Dandy, and he warned Jack in front of us, and neither of you said so much as a whisper. He’ll put us out, both of us. And then where will we be? All we’ll have is a sixteen-hand hunter trained to nothing, you a trapeze artist without a trapeze, and me a rosinback rider without a horse.’

Dandy went to hold me but I put my hands up to fend her off. I was still too sore all over, and anyway I did not want her caresses.

‘He’ll never marry you, Dandy,’ I said certainly. ‘If you’re lucky he’ll have you and then forget all about it.’

Dandy smiled at me, a long slow powerful smile. Then she dived under the straw mattress of her bed and brought out a little linen bag.

‘Robert sent me to the wise woman,’ she said. ‘I lied and told him it was double the price. She told me how to get rid of a baby if I should have one. She told me when it was safe to go with a man so I should not get with child; and…’ Dandy opened the drawstring at the neck of the bag and showed me the few dusty leaves inside, ‘she sold me this!’

‘What is it?’ I asked. I sat down on my bed. I was feeling deeply weary. Tired because of my bruising and aches, but sick inside at the way that some danger and trouble seemed to be growing greater every moment without me being able to stay it or turn Dandy from her course.

‘It’s a love potion,’ she said triumphantly. ‘She knew I was Rom and I would know how to use it. I shall hex him, Merry, and I shall bring him to me. I shall have him begging for me. And then he’ll persuade his da to let us be wed.’

I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. Night had fallen outside and the room was lit only by the firelight.

‘You’re mad,’ I said wearily. ‘Robert Gower would never have you wed Jack.’

‘That’s where you’re wrong!’ Dandy said triumphantly. ‘Everyone has noticed how he is about you. Mrs Greaves, David, even Jack himself. Jack said that he was as worried about your fall as if you had been his own daughter. He’s softer with you than he is with any of us, even Jack. You’re the key to Robert Gower, Merry! He wants you to work for him for always. He wants you to train his horses for him. He sees now that you’re as good as he is, he’ll soon see that the way to keep you with his show is to marry one of us into it. He knows you’d never marry so that only leaves me. Me and Jack!’ she concluded.

I closed my eyes and tried to think. It was possible. Robert Gower could not have taken more care of me if I had been his own child. The surgeon’s fees alone would run into pounds. It
was true that I trained horses better than anyone I had ever seen. I had won him a fortune that day in Salisbury. There were other shows looking for horses and trainers. I had only Sea, but he could be made into a wonderful act if I wished. Dandy was only an apprentice, but there could not be a prettier girl flyer in the world. She was certainly the only girl flyer in the country.

But…I stopped and opened my eyes. Dandy had tucked away her little bag of herbs inside her shift and was tying her pinny around her waist. ‘You’d never persuade Robert,’ I said. ‘Not in a hundred years, not on your own. The only person who could turn him around would be Jack. And you will never get Jack to stand up to his da.’

Dandy’s face was as clear as a May morning. ‘I will,’ she said confidently. ‘When he’s my lover he’ll do anything for me.’

If I had been stronger I should have argued more. Even then, as I closed my eyes against the dizzy hazy pain of headaches and old bruises, I knew that I should sit up and make Dandy see sense. That she needed my protection more than she had ever done in her life. But I failed her. I leaned back against the wall and rested until she had pinned her cap and was ready for us to go to dinner. Even then, as the three of us walked over to the house, I should have told Katie that the promised guinea was mine and not Dandy’s, and that I should not pay it. She could have Jack with my blessing.

But I was tired and ill and, I suppose, lazy. I had not the strength to go against Dandy’s overpowering conviction. I did not even have the wit to keep my eyes open to see if she palmed the herbs and got them into his cup of tea at dinner. I just let her go her own way, even though there was something in the back of my mind which told me that I had let the dearest person in the world slip through my fingers and had not put out a hand to save her.

My sense of miserable foreboding stayed with me so long that Robert spoke of sending for the surgeon again.

‘You’ve lost your smiles, Merry,’ he said. We were in the stable yard and I was ready to start working Sea. I had decided
to treat him as if he were unbroken – train him to a lunge rein, and take him slowly through all the stages of a young horse as if he had never been ridden before. His head nodded to me over the loose-box and I was anxious to begin, but Robert touched my arm.

‘I’d send for the surgeon,’ he offered. ‘He’ll not be working from Christmas Eve tomorrow till Twelfth Night, but if you feel ill, Merry, he’ll come out for me.’

I paused and looked at Robert. His face was kindly, his eyes warm with concern.

‘Robert,’ I said directly. ‘Would you let me be a partner in your business? The ten guineas I have – would you let me buy more horses with them and we could work them jointly? Would you let Dandy and me be joint owners with you?’

Robert stared at me blankly for a moment, as if he could not think what the words meant. Then I watched the coldness spread across his face. It started at his eyes which lost their affectionate twinkle and became as hard and stony as a man driving a bad bargain. The smile died away from his lips and his mouth set hard in a thin line. Even the lines of his profile became sharper, and under the joyful, laughing showman I saw the bones and sinews of the ruined carter who staked his livelihood on his little boy dancing on the back of one horse, and drove away from the woman who had tried to trap him with her love.

‘No,’ he said, and his voice was icy. ‘No, Meridon. This is my show, my own show, and God knows I have worked hard enough for it and long enough for it. There will never be a share in it for anyone but Jack. It will never go out of my family. It is all the kin I now acknowledge. I’ll pay you a better wage, if you’re discontent. I’ll pay Dandy tuppence a show whenever she works. But I’ll not share it.’

For a moment his face was almost pleading, as if he were asking me to understand an obsession. He looked down at me. ‘I’ve come so far to make it my own,’ he said. ‘I’ve done things I’ll have to answer for to my Maker…’ He broke off and I wondered if he could hear in his head the voice of the woman
calling him from behind the swaying wagon. ‘I can’t share, Merry,’ he said finally. ‘It isn’t in my nature.’

I waited, then put out a placatory hand to him. ‘Don’t be angry,’ I cautioned. ‘I want to ask you a question but don’t rip up at me.’

His face grew even more closed. ‘What?’ he said.

I had a moment’s intense impatience that I should have to stand in a stable yard and ask a man not to be angry with me for a question which I had not even yet voiced. Dandy’s intense female need had brought me to the slavish role of trying to prepare a man for a request which I myself thought was unreasonable. Something of this must have shown in my face, for Robert suddenly grinned:

‘Not like you to tread cautiously, Merry,’ he said. ‘Are you learning pretty pleasing girlish ways from your sister and the Warminster whore?’

I gritted my teeth and then, unwillingly, laughed. ‘No,’ I said. ‘But it’s a question you might dislike.’

‘Get on with it then,’ he said, weary of this fencing.

‘I want a share in the show,’ I said. ‘If you couldn’t abide strangers coming in, how would it be if Dandy and Jack were to make a match of it? I know you looked higher for him, but he and Dandy working together make a good team. They could make their fortunes. Marriage is the only way you’ll keep Dandy. And where she goes, I go.’

Robert looked at me and I could see the pinched impoverished man looking out of his eyes.

‘No,’ he said blankly. ‘No woman is irreplaceable. If Dandy gets a better offer she can go. You can go with her. There are times when I love you like a daughter, Merry, but I have loved and left a daughter before now, and never regretted it. If you can’t work for me on wages then you’d best leave.’ He nodded at the stable, at the barn beyond where Dandy and Jack were practising the only touring trapeze act in England. ‘I’d change my plans for the season, I’d throw away all my hopes rather than see Dandy wed Jack,’ he said. ‘You’re a pair of draggle-tailed gypsies and she’s as hot as a bitch in heat. I look a good deal
higher for my son, I’d see you both dead at my feet rather than have him wed either of you and bring your tainted gypsy blood into my family and into my show.’

I took a deep breath of the cold winter air and I dropped him a curtsey, as low and as slavish as Zima’s broad-arsed bobs.

‘Thank you, sir,’ I said, as if he had tipped me a farthing. ‘I quite understand now.’

I turned from him and walked towards my horse, Sea. I slid the bridle on his head and opened the door to let him out in a daze of anger and hatred. I walked past Robert – Robert who had been so kind to me and had held me when the surgeon pulled at my arm – I walked past him and I hardly saw him. There was a hot red haze around my eyes and I think if I had spat on his boots as I passed it would have come out as blood. My pulse was thundering in my head and my hand on Sea’s lunging reins gripped by instinct, not care. In the back of my mind I knew it was Dandy’s folly that had led me into this idiot’s babble of marriage and sharing. But I knew also that the warm summer days in the wagon and the hard wintry work at Warminster had led me to see Robert’s interests and ours as running in harness. Dandy’s foolish lust for Jack had blinded me as well as her. She had convinced me she could have him. She had nearly convinced me she could keep him. I had needed Robert’s coldness to sober me.