Merlyn's Magic (32 page)

'No!' Christopher gave a feral growl. 'You're mine now. He
betrayed you, remember?' All of a sudden Christopher held a gun in his
other hand, that hand quite steady as he pointed the weapon at Rand.

The relief that had flowed through Merlyn at the first
sound of Rand's voice was instantly replaced with the chilling horror
of what Christopher could do to Rand with that gun. She had no doubt
that it was real, and that it was loaded. She put her hand testingly on
Christopher's arm, snatching it away again as he recoiled angrily.

'There's no need for this, Christopher,' she cajoled. 'As
you said, I'm yours now.' She looked beseechingly at Rand for his
silence as he gave a furious snarl. 'Suzie has come back to
you
,
remember?' she prompted Christopher, moistening her lips as she
realised how grey Rand had suddenly become.

God, surely Rand hadn't come here alone; hadn't he brought
help with him?

'I've forgiven you for forcing me off the road that night
when I mistakenly wanted to return to Rand,' she conveyed that message
to Rand in the only way that was open to her, unable to see his
reaction now as she concentrated on Christopher exclusively. 'I was a
fool not to realise it was you I loved all along.'

'If you love me then it won't matter if I kill him,' he
reasoned calmly, aiming the gun at Rand still.

'But if he's dead you'll never know whether I stayed with
you because I loved you or because Rand was no longer alive,' she
pointed out desperately.

'I'll take that risk,' he told her coldly.

He was going to shoot, she could see that he intended
going through with it. And there was no way she was going to allow him
to kill Rand.

'Merlyn, no!' Rand shouted as she made a lung for the gun,
a shot sounding loudly in the hollow-ness.

Merlyn was aware of a scuffling sound behind her, and then
the pain in her arm covered everything in darkness.

This time she knew it was a hospital bed in which she lay,
recognised the impersonality of the cream decor, the stark walls, the
smell of antiseptic in the air.

Her left shoulder ached, pain shooting down the length of
her arm as she tried to move it.

Then she remembered Christopher; insane Christopher who
had convinced himself that Suzie lived again, in her, his cruel
punishment of Rand because he was the one Suzie loved backfiring on him
in a way he hadn't conceived. She wondered when it had
begun—with the sudden possessiveness he had begun to display
when they first arrived in the Lake District? Certainly he had allowed
himself to believe it was the real Suzie he made love to the day he
took over from Mark in the gazebo. She shivered with revulsion as she
remembered the passion she had believed to have been pretence, but
which had been very real to Christopher. He had killed Suzie, the woman
he loved, so that she shouldn't return to Rand!

Rand! Where was he? The last time she had seen him he had
been at the receiving end of Christopher's gun. From the pain she was
in she would say the bullet hit her first, but where had it gone after
that?

She made a move to sit up, the pain that racked her body
making her sway weakly. 'Please,' she gasped, her head turned towards
the door. 'Can someone help me?' The last was a choked cry.

'Merlyn!'

Her aching body protested strongly as she swung round at
the sound of that voice. Rand sat beside the bed, a Rand who had
obviously been dozing in the chair as he waited for her to wake, a Rand
haggard with grief and worry, his face grey, a dark stubble on his
tautly clenched jaw.

'I'm so sorry.' Tears filled her eyes at the suffering he
had known the last two years, at the needless death of the woman he had
loved so deeply.

'You were the one who got shot.' He clasped her hands
tightly in his as he sat forward. 'How do you feel?'

'Like I've been shot,' she answered wryly. 'But that
wasn't what I was sorry about.' She looked at him anxiously. 'You do
realise what I was trying to tell you about Suzie, don't you?'

Naked pain showed in the darkness of his eyes. 'Drake
killed her.'

'Because he knew she had accepted and come to terms with
the decision the two of you had made, that she loved you,' Merlyn
prompted forcefully.

'He said he did it because he loved her.' Rand shook his
head disbelievingly, tears in his eyes, his face ravaged. 'That isn't
love, it's obsession!'

Merlyn wasn't as successful in holding her tears in check,
her body moving convulsively as she watched him stand up to pace the
room.

'The irony of it is,' he continued, seeming to be talking
to himself, 'I'm sure Suzie wasn't even aware of his feelings
until—until that last day. She told me he always flirted with
her when they worked together,' he said dazedly. 'But it was never
anything demanding.'

'Christopher was always demanding of his leading ladies,'
Merlyn said with remembered pain. 'He either gave them hell or had an
affair with them.'

Rand frowned. 'Suzie always said he was very kind to
her—'

'Christopher was never kind,' Merlyn exclaimed, vividly
remembering his humiliating cruelty to her the first morning they
worked together. 'Rand, how did you find me? How long have I been
here?' Daylight streamed through the tall windows.

'They arrested Drake yesterday, you've been unconscious
since then. They had to operate to get the bullet out of your
shoulder.' He drew in a ragged breath. 'We might not have discovered
you were missing until today if Hillier hadn't kept insisting he'd had
nothing to do with your so-called accidents, demanding to know why the
police didn't talk to Drake and me as we were the two having affairs
with you!'

Merlyn gasped. 'That isn't true, there was only ever you!'

'I know that, but Hillier insisted he had seen Drake
coming out of your suite a couple of times. He assumed you were playing
us off, one against the other.'

She swallowed hard. 'Christopher never came to my suite.'

'Not when you were in it, no,' Rand acknowledged huskily,
his profile harsh in the brightness of daylight. 'He came in a couple
of times when you weren't there though, and Hillier saw him.'

'What's happened to Mark now?' she frowned, feeling guilty
about her own suspicions of him, knowing he must be furious at being
held at a police station 'for questioning'. It wouldn't do his precious
career much good!

Rand's mouth twisted. 'He's probably being consoled in
Jenny's waiting arms.' He sighed. 'Thank God the police decided to
check into his story on Drake, otherwise we might never have realised
you had left the hospital with him. As it was, a young nurse had
reported you had checked yourself out voluntarily—'

'I did leave voluntarily, I was coming to see you,' Merlyn
explained. 'I'd read the notebook that afternoon—'

'Only that afternoon?' Rand looked puzzled.

She shrugged. 'It took me a while to get up the courage to
read it. And after I had I—I knew I had to see you, to talk
to you. Christopher offered to drive me,' she rushed on as she saw Rand
retreat from what she was obviously trying to tell him; that she still
loved him. 'I fell asleep on the drive, and when I woke up we were
almost at London and he was calling me Suzie…'

Rand breathed raggedly. 'I knew there was something wrong
when Anne telephoned me to say you had discharged yourself. I went to
the hospital myself, I just didn't believe you could have been in any
condition to go anywhere. And then I saw the roses.' He shook his head.
'I told the police I believed Drake had you, and I flew down with them
to try and get here before the two of you did. Suzie used to get a
bouquet of white roses every week.' His expression softened. 'I used to
tease her about having a secret admirer she didn't want to tell me
about. He sent them to her, didn't he?' he groaned.

Merlyn nodded. 'He had convinced himself that Suzie didn't
really love you, that she only stayed with you because you were so
possessive you wouldn't let her leave. I know,' she soothed at Rand's
angry protest. 'You aren't in the least possessive. But Christopher had
to explain Suzie's staying with you to himself somehow; he just
couldn't accept that she genuinely loved you.'

Rand's hands were clenched into fists at his sides. 'A
madman's obsession robbed me of the woman I loved!'

'Yes.' What else could she say, it was the truth. Suzie
had survived a serious illness, the loss of her child, the knowledge
that there would never be another one, had come to terms with all those
things, only to be destroyed by another man's obsessive love.
Rand
was going to need time to come to terms with the way Suzie had died.

'He would have killed you too if you had opposed him,' he
realised raggedly.

Merlyn had discovered exactly how dangerous Christopher
was, but she couldn't help wondering how Rand would really have felt if
Christopher had harmed her.

He seemed to become aware of that question the same time
that she did. 'Merlyn—'

'It's all right,' she told him huskily. 'I've never asked
you for anything, and I'm not going to start now.'

'All this has—I can't comprehend—'

'Of course you can't,' she soothed, knowing that even
their baby would have to wait for the shock to wear off before Rand was
told of its existence; he just couldn't handle any more pressure just
now, especially emotional pressure. She was going to have to wait for
him to come to her. If he ever did.

'I do care for you, Merlyn.' His eyes were silver. 'More
than I ever wanted to. I'm just not sure it's enough. For you.'

She held back the tears stinging her eyes. 'Shouldn't you
let the police know I've regained consciousness?' she prompted lightly.
'I'm sure they must want to talk to me.'

'They do,' he nodded. 'I just—Have patience with
me, Merlyn?' he requested gruffly.

She did have patience, but their child didn't, she thought
ruefully as she received a painful kick against her rib-cage. At seven
months she felt sure the baby was trying to kick its way out, not
content to wait another two months to be born normally.

It had been a long six months for her, would have seemed
even longer, she acknowledged, without the steady growth of her
pregnancy and all that entailed to occupy her time. This morning, for
instance, she and her mother had been out shopping for nursery
furniture, which was probably why Merlyn felt so tired and the baby
didn't!

Rand should have been here to share in the excitement of
choosing their baby's furniture, should be lying on the bed with her
now with his hand resting on the swell of her body as they both felt
their child's impatient movements.

It had been an easy pregnancy so far, and she had received
a lot of help from her family, and friends like Liza and Anne. James
and Anne had been told about the baby early on in the pregnancy, had
visited her in London a couple of times, but they, more than anyone
else, knew that Rand mustn't be told about it just yet. It was through
them that she learnt he was slowly coping with Suzie's death at the
hands of a man who had been certified as insane.

But it had been six long months now, and Rand should be
here!

He will be
, a gentle voice assured
her.
He's coming to you now. He loves you
.

Merlyn's eyes widened with shock as she slowly looked around the bedroom
trying to locate that voice. She was alone, completely alone. And yet she
had heard a voice. Hadn't she…?

Take care of him, Merlyn
—

'Who is this?' She sat up in alarm, her hands tightly
gripping bunches of her quilt as she realised she was talking to
herself.

She must have been on the edge of sleep, dreams often
seeming more vivid then, chastising herself for her imaginings as she
lay back on the bed.

Love him
—
Please,
don't feel alarmed
, that voice soothed as she once again sat
up in a panic.
I mean you no harm
, that whispery voice
comforted.

She wasn't dreaming at all, the voice was inside her head.
She was going mad!

No,
Merlyn, you're perfectly sane
,
that voice chided her.
Please, just listen to me
.

Merlyn lay on the bed stricken with terror now. If she
wasn't going mad, then who— 'Suzie…?' she
whispered chokingly.

Yes… The voice sounded relieved.
Be
good to Rand, Merlyn. And love the daughter you carry and the sons you
have yet to come
.

She had to be dreaming this, Merlyn realised as a curious
calm settled over her. She would wake up in a minute, these naps never
lasted long.

'I'm having a son,' she told that dream dismissively.

It's a girl, Merlyn. Rand will love you both so
much. So much…

Only she and Suzie had ever called him Rand! But it was a
dream, that calm reminded her, and dreams could do anything they wanted
to.

I'm no dream, Merlyn
, that voice
spoke softly.
I just want you to know he's all yours now,
that he loves you completely. There will be no more ghosts now that I
can leave him with you, as I always intended I should
…

'Suzie, I—Suzie?' She half sat up on the bed,
turning her head from one side to the other. But not even the voice was
there now.

Merlyn was trembling all over as she got up unsteadily.
Had
she imagined it or—? The doorbell rang to interrupt the
question she was frightened to find an answer to anyway. Because if she
accepted that Suzie had come to her just now she had to accept that
Suzie
had
been the one guiding her from the
moment she attempted to get that part in the film.

Her movements were necessarily slow as she moved to the
door, her slender body bearing the added weight of her child with an
ungainly gait that made her appear slightly front-heavy.