Michaela (35 page)

“He’s a Dramok, isn’t he? How did you manage to become his superior?”

Govi’s brow lifted. “There are several reasons. Just because a man’s breed designates him as a natural leader doesn’t always mean he’s the best qualified to head up a group. Imdikos predominate in the medical and therapeutic fields. Our status as caregivers means we are likely to direct in those disciplines, even over Dramoks.”

Michaela hoped she hadn’t offended him by automatically assuming Kivokan was more likely to be in charge. “So you’re the best badass therapist between you two then. It’s nice to know you didn’t get passed over just because you’re an Imdiko.”

Govi switched his computer off with a cheerful expression. “I’ve got more experience, performed more research, and have earned a higher standing than Kivokan in our field. My appointment to this post is based on merit alone.”

“See? You’re the best man to make my brain work the way it’s supposed to. I think you’re doing a fine job on me.” Michaela sighed. “Except for my poor judgment in regards to what happened in the council meeting yesterday, I feel like I’m doing better. I’m not indulging in so much self-criticism.”

He regarded her with a look that was hopeful. “You are doing much better. I’m seeing fewer and fewer relapses. I hope you realize just how much your clan loves you.”

“See how amazing you are, Dr. Sweetheart? I’m as good as cured.”

Govi pulled a face. “Not quite, my love, as much as I wished you were. I have the sense that any perceived rejection, no matter how slight, could send you back down that path of self-hatred. A lot of your issues will take time to overcome.” He waggled his eyebrows at her. “Time and the continued assurance that we find you absolutely delicious and irresistible.”

Michaela licked her lips, giving him a look to tell her Imdiko how much she appreciated all his fine qualities. “I’m delicious, huh? I like the sound of that.”

“You know you are. I’d give you detailed proof of that right here and now if I didn’t have to start my work. I have a patient due in just a few minutes though.”

Michaela sighed. “Too bad. I could use some therapy.”

Govi grinned. “The special kind I use for my favorite patient?”

“Take two dicks and call you in the morning, right? I’d better be the only patient you give that type of treatment to.”

Govi got up and came around his desk to administer a kiss. Michaela found it quite therapeutic.

He told her, “I would love to fuck you to a cure for all the ugly things that have happened to you.”

She laughed. “Have I mentioned lately how much I love my doctor?”

Chapter 17

Before meeting with his day’s first appointment, Govi gave Michaela a short tour of the Matara psychiatric wing. They roamed past the reception area and other therapists’ offices. He showed her one of the treatment rooms. Michaela had to admit the consultation space made up for the lack of decor in Govi’s office.

“Now this is more like it,” she said upon entering. Massive vids played over three walls, showing a tranquil lakeside near a stretch of woods. The shimmering water lay as placid as glass, reflecting the rainbow-hued leaves of the nearby trees. A sweet trilling sound filled the air. Michaela had heard the sound frequently since coming to Kalquor and had at first thought it to be some type of birdsong. She had learned that it actually was the speech of drils, a small and rarely seen reptile with ten legs that ranged all over the planet.

“The view can be changed according to the patient’s preference,” Govi said. He called out, “Display choices.”

The lake disappeared, replaced by a meadow filled with blue and gold flowers taller than Michaela. The drilsong persisted, along with the soft sound of the breeze breathing through the air. That vanished as well, and a mountain range appeared. Snow drifted down, sugar-sprinkling the peaks as it came. For that view, there was silence. Drils hibernated in colder climates.

“Wow,” Michaela breathed. “This is stunning. With the three walls, it almost feels like I’m right there. Only I’m not freezing my ass off in the snow.”

Govi chuckled. “Lake view,” he said, and the original landscape returned. “This is Matara Angela’s favorite setting,” he informed Michaela. “She’s my first client today.”

“She has good taste, both in landscapes and doctors,” replied Michaela. She dragged her gaze from the serene lake to look at the room itself.

It was simple, much like the meditation space Michaela had imagined for one of her rooms at home. Plush seating pillows of soft colors dotted the cushioned green floor. A small fountain burbled nearby. A table held a tray of cups, water, and fruit. There were throws that one might snuggle into for warmth and comfort. A vase containing a flower arrangement sat nearby.

“Nice,” came Michaela’s assessment. “I imagine people feel better the instant they come in here.”

“It does help bring a sense of serenity,” Govi agreed. “Before we can even begin to discuss how to make things better, we must strive to get the patient in a calm mood.”

He showed her the waiting room next, a comfortable lounge for people who accompanied patients to their appointments. Seating arrangements, a refreshment center, gaming vids, and reading devices were supplied. The room was currently empty.

“Most prefer to wait in the garden,” Govi told her. “That’s the best place here. I think you’ll love it.”

“Does it have Plasian flowers?” Michaela asked with an innocent smile.

Govi laughed as he led her through a door that took them outside. “That might help with some patients’ sexual dysfunctions. I’ll have to make a note.”

He was right about Michaela loving the garden area. It had been constructed on a much larger scaled version of their home balcony, built into the cliff face and overlooking the sea. The soft floral aromas mixed with sea salt to create a luscious bouquet that she inhaled with great appreciation.

She couldn’t see the ocean or beach beyond the garden. The place was not manicured and forced into symmetry, as Israla’s garden had been. This place was nature run riot, with meandering paths winding through the brightly-hued foliage. Flowers, shrubs, and small trees mixed freely together, each jeweled petal and leaf competing to be named the most beautiful. Seating cushions dotted here and there, providing spaces for one to rest and enjoy her surroundings.

The sound of water filled Michaela’s ears. A distant roar reminded Michaela that the ocean threw itself against the pink sanded beach not far away, though it remained out of sight. Closer, Michaela detected the gentle burble of running water, like a fountain. She stepped along the path, searching for the source of that sound. Govi, silent and smiling, followed her.

To her happy surprise, Michaela found a picturesque brook. It appeared after she’d followed the path around two sharp bends. The strand of water flowed beyond a tiny patch of grass with two seating cushions. It came out of a thick copse of trees to her right and disappeared into thicker brush to her left. The path wound on past it, but Michaela stopped, charmed.

The water ran over gold and silver-speckled rocks. Tiny iridescent fish darted about. Part of the grassy area was lit by the sun, and part lay in the cool shadow of sapphire-leaved trees. Michaela sighed.

“It’s beautiful,” she told Govi. “I could spend a whole day right here if I had a book.”

“This is one of my favorite spots to eat lunch,” he told her. “There is also a section with an ocean view that you might like. It’s farther down the path.”

They followed the stone walkway, and Michaela commented at the different parts of the garden. There was a red flower-dotted area surrounding a mirror-smooth pond. Another boasted a hammock stretched between two sturdy trees. In yet another was a waterfall splashing upon more gold and silver-speckled stones.

Then they were at the other end of the garden, and the ocean vista opened out before Michaela. She gasped to see the green sea spread out before her. Shuttle traffic raced across the powder-blue sky like dozens of lines of scurrying ants. With no foliage between her and the ocean, its roar was almost deafening. In comparison, the garden had been nearly silent.

“I feel like I’m on the edge of the world,” Michaela laughed to Govi. She moved from the path to step across a strip of grass. Within a few feet, it turned into the cliff’s rocky surface. The people on the sparkling sand below looked astoundingly tiny. Michaela had a moment of vertigo, and she took a step back.

Govi was right there of course, and she gave him a concerned look. “Is this a good idea? You’ve never had a suicidal patient come out here and keep on walking?”

“Oh, there’s been an attempt or two,” he acknowledged. “We have safeguards in place, however. There’s a containment barrier that is activated if a falling object is detected. Anyone who falls or – ancestors forbid – tries to jump, will be caught in a field and held until help arrives.”

“Thank goodness,” Michaela muttered. “I guess those people have to go into really intense therapy after trying something like that.”

Govi nodded. “It means they have to live in institutions with round-the-clock security. The entire clan is disrupted. It’s hard on everyone.”

Michaela looked at him worriedly. “But it doesn’t dissolve the clan, does it?”

Govi stared out at the ocean for a few seconds before answering. With a deep sigh, he finally spoke.

“It has happened on occasion. Usually it’s because we discover the situation within the clan itself is harmful to the disturbed individual. If well-being cannot be restored due to clan dynamics, we doctors can recommend a court order to declare the clanship severed.” He gave Michaela a reassuring hug. “The situation has to be extreme for that to happen.”

“Attempted suicide isn’t extreme enough? Permanent escape sounds like a last-ditch effort to me.”

“It can be a clear sign of such.”

Michaela decided she preferred to relax by the brook, the first stop in the path they’d found. With many hugs and kisses, Govi left her there to enjoy the garden while he worked.

Michaela sat on one of the cushions and worked on meditation. She found it easy to achieve a peaceful attitude in her surroundings. Even after deciding she’d done enough of that, she felt serene simply looking at the brook as it chuckled past. The fish rewarded her with flashes of iridescent light as they went about their fishy business. The flowers nodded and the deep blue leaves that shaded her from the sun’s heat danced in the errant breezes.

As the morning drifted away, people wandered past on the nearby path. They smiled and bowed to Michaela as they went by: clans mostly, with confident Dramoks, fierce Nobeks, gently smiling Imdikos, and even the occasional Earther Matara. The women were surrounded by their men and doted on without embarrassment.

An orderly was the only one who stopped and spoke to her, and only because Govi had sent him. The young Imdiko medic brought Michaela a tray of juice, water, fruit, and a handheld stocked with games and the latest reading material. He also passed along the message that Govi would fetch her for lunch. She thanked the orderly and assured him she was perfectly happy in the garden.

“Dr. Govi says to com him if you need anything at all.”

“I will. Thank you.”

Then she was left alone again.

Michaela had a snack of water and the fibrous but sweet wapteprol fruit. She briefly entertained the idea of reading, but she enjoyed her surroundings too much to distract herself from them. She pulled two seating cushions together instead, making a surface large enough for her to lie on. She did just that and stared up at the sky through the deep blue leaves overhead.

Michaela felt the most content of her life. Her whole soul seemed to be at peace.
I’m in love and loved
, she thought. Against all odds, the freak had found not just acceptance but a place where she was cared for and protected. Even knowing Korkla was away for a week, helping Jessica fight to keep her clan together, prompted no more than a twinge of conscience just now. Michaela’s Dramok would help make everything right.

It felt as if nothing ugly could ever happen to her again. Michaela had never known such harmony as that which sang in her being on this bright, beautiful day. She drifted in her little corner of paradise, happy and secure.

At some point, she dozed off. A gentle hand brushing through her curls roused her about half an hour later.

“Michaela, wake up, my love.”

Michaela opened her eyes to the agreeable sight of Govi kneeling next to her. She blinked up at him with a smile, which he responded to in kind.

“Hey,” she yawned. “Is it time for lunch?”

“Not quite. Listen, I don’t want you to panic, but something has happened.”

The careful way the Imdiko spoke woke Michaela all the way up in an instant. She bolted upright.

I jinxed everything by thinking how perfect my life is. I should have known better to believe someone like me could have it all.

Her heart speeding towards panic, she asked, “What is it? Did something happen to Korkla? Jessica?”

Govi’s tone was calm, but there was a catch in his voice. “No, sweetheart. Raxstad was injured at work. He’s here in the hospital being treated. We’re going to go see him now.”