Midnight (11 page)

‘That would be entirely up to you.’ He had never interfered in Molly’s private arrangements. ‘I’ll probably sell this house and buy a home for us up in Lancashire. It makes sense.’

Molly didn’t agree. ‘Look at it from my point of view, Jack! It all seems a bit rushed, don’t you think? This morning there was no mention of any of this, and now suddenly you’re in a tearing hurry to up sticks and turn our lives upside down. What’s happened, Jack? Why is it so urgent that you move away?’ She grew increasingly impatient, ‘You
are
holding something back, I know it!’ 104

Jack held his silence, unsure whether to confide in her. He didn’t know if it would change her mind about moving away, or if it would make her dig her heels in even more.

Reluctantly, Jack told her how the psychiatrist had suggested that his dreams might not be the product of a fertile imagination, but could be based on a traumatic event that took place in his early childhood. Even as he said it, Jack felt a shiver run down his back.

‘Oh, I see.’ Molly was ready for an argument. ‘That’s why you want to go back up there – to delve into the past and torment yourself even more.’ She could see how determined he was. ‘You’re not thinking straight, Jack.’ When she flounced off to the kitchen to put the kettle on, he followed her.

‘Oh, but I am! And I’ve got you to thank for that. You did right in making me see someone, because now I know what I must do.’ Putting his hands on her shoulders, Jack turned Molly to face him. ‘For the first time, I have something to go on. I need answers, and now I’m hopeful that maybe – just maybe – I’ll find out the truth.’

On the way home from work, Jack had thought long and hard about the series of events that had led him to these crossroads. Sharing his deeper thoughts with her, he said, ‘Don’t you think it’s strange, of all the places in the country where we could be opening a new showroom, the company chose to build it in Lytham St Anne’s, just a thirty-minute drive from the street where I grew up?’

Molly did not believe in fate; she preferred to think there was a rational explanation for everything. ‘There’s nothing “strange” about it, Jack.’ She gave a mocking little laugh. ‘It’s quite simple. The company chose to build the new showrooms in Lytham because they did their homework and decided a car-showroom was needed there. It’s business, Jack – plain and straight. It’s not some kind of celestial plan that’s meant to get you promoted and send you back to where you were born so you can find out if your nightmares are real.’

Jack was not altogether surprised by her cynicism. ‘So, why have you been asked to run the new showrooms, when there are any number of other people at Curtis Warren’s who are more than able to handle the responsibility?’

Agitated, Molly began pacing the floor. ‘It’s all academic anyway, because you’re not accepting the post. Or if you do, I won’t be going with you.’

‘You can’t mean that, Molly?’

‘Yes, Jack, I can, and do! And I want an answer right now.’ She swung round to face him. ‘Have you already signed the contract?’

‘Not yet, no. I’ll be handing it in tomorrow, signed and sealed, subject to Curtis Warren’s approval.’

‘Without even asking me?’

‘I’m asking you now, Molly. I want you with me.’

‘I take it this means you won’t be attending the clinic again?’

‘There’s no need. I know now what I have to do.’

‘Will anything I say make you change your mind?’

‘Please, Molly.’ Jack put his two arms about her. ‘Don’t do this.’ Drawing her close, he spoke softly. ‘We belong together, you and me. I don’t want to be without you. I want us to be married – to have children one day.’ He gave a nervous chuckle. ‘I want us to grow old together – you with your silver hair and me with my white beard and walking-stick. When we meander down the street, people will say, “Look! That’s the old couple with all them grandchildren.”’

Molly couldn’t help but laugh. ‘You’re crazy, you are.’

‘You’re right. I am – crazy for you.’

‘Then tell them you don’t want the job. Stay here, Jack. Attend the clinic. There’s no need to go chasing the past. Eventually it will all come right, you’ll see.’

Frustrated, Jack held her at arm’s length, ‘Do you love me, Molly?’

‘You know I do.’

‘Then why can’t you help me do this?’

‘Because it’s wrong!’ Angry at his dogged determination, she broke away from him. ‘We’re happy here, aren’t we?’

‘Well, yes, but we can be happy elsewhere just as well.’

Ignoring his comment, she pointed out, ‘Look, we have each other and we have our work. We’ve built a good life here together, and we’ve got plans. Why spoil it all now? Especially when you’ve finally found someone who can help you.’

Torn two ways, Jack paced back and forth across the kitchen, hands in his trouser pockets, and a look of desperation about him. Everything seemed to be falling apart between them, and he had to believe it was his fault.

‘Won’t you at least try to see it from my point of view, Molly?’ he asked. ‘You of all people know what it’s like with me. These nightmares are ruining my life – spoiling what we have! I need to clear my head, and I can’t do that unless I go back – to where it all began.’

He turned his back to her, his mind racing. ‘If I don’t try to find answers, Molly, I’ll never rest. I’ll never know! This is my chance and, more than anything, I want you there with me.’

The sound of footsteps made him swing round, only to find that Molly had gone.

‘Molly?’

Calling her name, he ran up the stairs two at a time, to find her in the bedroom, packing her suitcase. ‘Don’t do this!’ Jack was devastated. ‘Stay tonight at least. We can talk it through.’

Molly turned to him, her voice calm and cold. ‘If I do stay, will you change your mind about leaving here?’

For one desperate moment, Jack would have promised her the world if need be, just to keep her there. In his deepest heart though, he could not lie to her.

‘I’m sorry, Molly. I love you so much, and don’t want to lose you, but this is one time I need to do what my instincts tell me. So no, I won’t – I
can’t
– change my mind.’

‘And I can’t uproot myself just because you’ve got this crazy idea in your head. Tell them you don’t want the promotion. Go back to the clinic. In the end, it
will
work out. I know it will.’

Falling silent, Jack cast his gaze to the floor, and she knew she had lost. ‘All right, then. Do what you want. That’s fine by me!’ Slamming shut the suitcase, she swung it off the bed, pushed by him and ran down the stairs. At the bottom, she turned and looked up at him. She saw a man determined. A man who refused to give in to her. And what she saw, she did not like.

Without another word, she stormed out of the house, down the path and, throwing the suitcase into the boot of her car, she climbed into the driving seat, and slammed shut the door. Taking her frustration out, she switched on the engine, thrust home the gearstick and, putting her foot down hard, shot away without a backward glance, even though she knew Jack would be watching her every move.

From the upstairs window, Jack followed her movements. He knew from past experience that it was no good arguing with her. Yet long after she was out of sight, he remained at the window, hoping that he would eventually see the nose of the car peep round the corner on its way back. Then after a while, he realised that Molly was not coming back, and he was shattered.

Later, feeling tired and emotionally drained, he climbed into bed for an early night. He didn’t sleep, however; he simply catnapped, his mind alive with thoughts of Molly. It was not often that he went against her wishes. Should he have let her persuade him to abandon the idea of going north?

When the doubts began to set in, he angrily chided himself, ‘You
are
doing the right thing, Jack!’

Unable to settle, he went downstairs and made himself a mug of tea. For a while he examined his actions from Molly’s point of view. His emotions were mixed. He wanted her back, and most times he would do anything to settle an argument – but not this time. With or without her, he meant to go ahead with his plans. If he was proved wrong and there
were
no answers, would he be any worse off than he was now? Maybe not – except for losing Molly, and that was hard.

Jack was aware that he had set himself on a lonely path. After all, changing his workplace, moving to the other end of the country, risking a permanent break between himself and Molly – these were huge decisions.

Doubts began to niggle. ‘Am I setting myself up for a fall?’ he asked himself. ‘Can Molly see something that I can’t? When all’s said and done, I don’t really know where I’m actually headed, and when I start overturning stones, who knows what I might find – if anything?’

Once he had burned his bridges, there might be no way back. It was a frightening thought. Yet even with all the doubts, he knew in his heart that he had no choice, but to try.

For as long as he could remember, he had suffered disturbed nights, his sleep constantly haunted by these terrifying images. For the first time ever, an opportunity had presented itself to free himself of his demons. Nothing was certain; nothing was guaranteed. But the opportunity was in place. If he turned his back on it now, he would regret it for ever.

Jack tied his dressing-gown tighter around him. Looking up at the wall-clock, he realised it was midnight. ‘Midnight is a lonely place,’ he murmured. Memories of the past stalked his mind. Vague memories – some good, some not so good.

After his father died from injuries suffered in that fire, his mother had changed. Claire Redmond began to drink, to yell and scream at every little upset. Jack became the butt of her ill temper. There were cruel rumours about her going with men. She was even called a slut. For Jack, this was a lonely time. Yet he understood, even as a schoolboy, that she was suffering, that her husband was lost to her. Along with the security she had enjoyed.

Like his mother, Jack felt the pain of his father’s passing. Yet while he tried every which way to help his bereaved mother, she was not there for him when he needed her most.

He had long forgiven her for that, but he had felt lost. Just a boy. In a way, while his mother had lost her man, Jack had lost
both
his parents. His pain was almost unbearable.

Later, when his mother, Claire met the wealthy American she gave no thought to her son, but simply walked away from Jack and her old life in Bower Street, without a backward glance. Her new man, John Towner only met Jack once, and did not invite him to join his own children in Minnesota. Jack was eighteen, alone and afraid. Left behind, to pick up the pieces.

When he left Blackburn, he had no idea where he might go. All he knew was that he had to get away, because there was nothing left for him there.

Thrust into a big wide world, he learned the hard way – to make his own decisions and do what he believed to be the right thing. Just like now; when his every instinct told him to go back, to where it all began.

Some instinct made him think of Libby, and a warm feeling crept through his troubled soul. She had been his friend next door, his friend at school, and his confidante through the bad times. He wondered if she was still there; in the street where they grew up. Still a tomboy, with her mop of autumn-coloured curls. Was she married, with children? Or maybe she had fulfilled their shared dream, of travelling the world, to search for adventures that could not be found in homely little Bower Street?

‘My friend, Libby.’ Even now, the very thought of her brought a sense of comfort. And he remembered her mother – dearest, kindest Eileen.

There was Thomas too. He was ever the good neighbour. These kindly, honest people paraded through his mind and lifted his heart, despite his sense of guilt at having left them behind without a word.

The more he thought about moving back, the more he felt he was making the right decision. And even though Bower Street held some bad memories, he found himself looking forward to visiting his home-town. He hoped it was not too much changed.

Chapter Seven

M
OLLY HAD INTENDED
to drive straight to her parents’ house in Bedford, some ten miles away from Leighton Buzzard, but five minutes from the motorway bridge, she changed her mind. Still bristling from the heated row with Jack, she knew her parents would quiz her, and she wasn’t in the mood to be nagged at just then.

She thought of her brother. At least Brian wouldn’t nag her – although she knew he wouldn’t be too pleased about her turning up on his doorstep like this.

Turning right, she slipped through Husborne Crawley and made her way to Ridgmont, where her own house was now rented by her brother Brian, in order to pay the mortgage while she lived with Jack.

Tears clouded her eyes as she reflected on her heated discussion with Jack. She even pulled over to the side of the road and considered going back to make it up with him. But then she thought it might be best to let him stew for a while.

‘Stubborn devil, Jack Redmond, that’s what you are!’ Angry now, she wiped away the tears, plucked a tissue out of her bag and blew her nose. ‘Damned stubborn!’

Slipping the engine into gear, she set off again. ‘My Brian will understand.’ Though she wasn’t even sure about that, ‘Men! What do they know!’

Travelling along the main road, she passed the church and drove to a house on the right – a cottage with flower-baskets hanging from the wall, and a well-tended, pretty garden behind. ‘Brian had better not lecture me!’ Molly declared aloud. ‘I’m not in the mood for another fight!’ Her hackles were up already.

Parking the car behind her brother’s, she recognised a third car as belonging to her brother’s friend and workmate, Mal. She was disappointed because she needed to unburden her troubles onto her brother, who at times was the only one who understood her. ‘I expect they’re talking about work,’ she thought. ‘So with a bit of luck, Mal won’t be here too long.’

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Mal, because she did. He was a good bloke, and a good friend to Brian. In fact, he was a good friend to all the family. She and Mal had even been sweethearts at one point, and after breaking up they had remained firm friends.