Midnight Kisses (8 page)

Did he want happiness?

For years he'd never thought of someone in the way he thought of Renée. She was so unlike Lorraine. While Lorraine had been a lady, she'd focused so much on being the perfect minister's wife that at times she'd almost seemed mechanical, as if she were acting out some spiritual drama.

But she had loved him. He had felt it from the first time she'd walked up to him at church and invited him out. She had been bold and daring like that.

A bird screeched and the trees rustled with the gush of a strong wind. And then there was absolute silence. No wind, no birds, no cars in the distance. He was at one with the night and the silence. And in that moment, he finally accepted that he needed to face all aspects of his life head on. He'd stopped running physically, but emotionally he was still avoiding facing the issues that hindered his healing. He had lived his life in the past, sitting in the judgment seat. In church, he had preached the Word of God. He had admonished his congregation to live by the principles of Christianity: fear of God, forgiveness, charity and brotherly love.

But he had fallen short. He hadn't supported Taurean during his incarceration; he had felt that as the perfect pastor, he couldn't condone what Taurean had done. He had scorned Corey because of the disease he had contracted and spurred him most at the time when he needed love. Yes, he had failed, failed as a brother.

When Lorraine and his daughter had been taken away, he'd run away and he was still running. Instead of staying with the people who loved him and Lorraine, he had run away and left them to face their grief alone. He'd been the person he'd always been; he had thought only of himself. He knew now what he needed to do, but he still wasn't ready.

He inhaled deeply. He was going to be all right. Tonight, he'd made a step in the right direction. Tonight, he had started his healing. But his healing wouldn't be complete until he told his wife goodbye and dealt with the alienation from his family. Someday soon, he would make that move. Tonight, he had to do some thinking. Despite what he knew he had to do, he had no intentions of rushing into anything.

Of course, Renée was another complication, one that left him confused and flustered. He was attracted to her and there was nothing he could do about it. His guilt at times threatened to consume him. However, his connection to Renée was more than mere attraction. He liked her, really liked her. She was sexy and intelligent. She made him laugh and she cared about people. Those qualities said so much about the kind of person she was. She would make any man a great wife, but he wasn't sure he was that man.

In the distance, a clock struck midnight. It was time to go home. He needed to get some rest. He'd thought about his life too much in the fast few weeks and he felt drained. While he welcomed the changes he was experiencing, his unemotional existence, up until now, had made life safer, easier to handle.

He stood and looked out at the dark sky. Because of Renée, he was determined to face life full on. He had no intention of losing the battle.

Suddenly, he remembered Jerome. He'd been so focused on himself, he'd forgotten the fourteen-year-old would be worried. Tomorrow he would call him and let him know he'd been out of town. He needed to apologize. Maybe that's where he needed to focus his energy right now.

Maybe it would help him to forget the soft flowery scent of Renée.

 

Renée clicked on the hyperlink and glanced at the picture of Alana Buchanan. She was amazed by how easy it was to find information on Daniel and his family. Fragments of information he'd mentioned in their conversation had sent her searching. She knew what she was doing was crazy, but she would not be happy unless she understood Daniel and his family.

She found information about Daniel's father's death, about the accident, which had killed his wife and child, and information about Alana Buchanan. It seemed that Taurean had married quite the famous artist, and fortunately there was a showing of her work in Chicago
in a couple of weeks. Both Alana and her husband would be there.

She glanced at a photo of one of Alana's paintings and the vibrancy of the beautiful island of Barbados. Renée had never been there, but she'd seen enough of the island on television to know that it was a beautiful place. She then printed several articles on the family and powered off the computer.

She'd left an article from a newspaper to read last. It was an article written after the funeral of Daniel's wife and child. The photo accompanying the article focused on Daniel. He wore a black suit, but what she noticed most about him was his face. He was still handsome, but he looked haggard and devastated. He also looked angry. She could feel the anger emitting from the pages of the paper.

It was obvious Daniel still carried much anger inside. She wondered if she could help him deal with it. She knew she shouldn't interfere, all her good sense told her not to, but she had to do something. She'd call his brother, that's what she'd do. She'd call the hotel when she knew they were scheduled to be there.

No matter what Daniel thought, she knew that the only way he could heal completely was to resolve the conflict between himself and his family. He needed to love again—and it had to start with his family.

Renée lifted the papers from the printer's tray and carried them into the bedroom. She flopped onto the bed and started to read.

An hour later she was done. The articles had given her greater insight into the Buchanan family, and although
there was not much about Daniel, she found the family fascinating.

Daniel's older brother Taurean had spent seven years in prison for euthanasia. His younger brother, Corey, had contracted AIDS and Taurean had helped to put him out of his suffering. Soon after Taurean's release from prison, their father had passed away. Daniel had married Lorraine Harvey and Taurean had married the then-unknown artist, Alana Smyth-Connell.

There was a photo of Daniel at the funeral of his dad and his appearance seemed so at conflict with the person he was now. Though he still rarely smiled, the stoic expression on his face reminded her of those fire and brimstone pastors, whose sole goal in life was to scare people away from hell. She could see what he meant when he told her about the person he'd been. The photo showed that man clearly. The Daniel she knew now was softer, kinder, and though his eyes hid his deeper feelings, the glimpses of gentleness she sometimes saw were definitely of a changed man.

Was she falling in love with him?

Love was a complicated feeling and one that often wreaked havoc. She wanted to approach this relationship—no, friendship—without any complications. And she needed to stick to her plan for the relationship. That's what she would tell Daniel. Let them be friends. Friendship was what each of them needed. Lovemaking brought too many other variables into what they had right now. Each of them had problems to resolve before they could be anything more to each other.

She needed to go to the store, pick up some groceries and come back to make some plans for tomorrow. Her obsession with Daniel Buchanan was making her lose focus on the important things in her life.

J
erome dropped the basketball, turned and walked away. The other boys began to jeer, but he kept on walking. He glanced across at Daniel, the anger in his eyes like flares. Daniel felt his pain, but he knew he could not follow him. Jerome needed to work on his own self-control.

The practice session ended half an hour later and Daniel headed to his office. Jerome was standing outside. He assumed the boy had left the premises. He opened the door and invited Jerome to enter. Jerome followed, the scowl still on his face. Daniel indicated a chair and Jerome sat.

“You all right?” Daniel asked.

At first, Jerome didn't answer. “Man, I'm fine,” he finally said.

“You're sure about that. You don't look fine to me.”

“Okay, I'm angry, man. Those boys just piss me off at times. So I decided the best way to deal with it is to walk away. I don't have time for nonsense.”

“That's good.”

“Isn't that what you told me is the right thing to do?”

“You did it because you thought I expected you to behave that way?” Daniel said, leading him into further conversation.

“That's part of it. But I didn't want to get into any trouble this time. I'd be just like them if I did.”

Daniel felt a surge of pride. He was making progress. In the past Jerome would have struck out in anger. A fight would have been inevitable.

“So you're learning to control that temper of yours.”

Jerome looked at Daniel, a boyish grin on his face. “Yeah, I hear what you say. I don't want to be no thug. I got dreams, too. I don't have to stay down. That's what you told me.”

“And how about your school work?”

“I'm still beating the books. Grades should be good this semester. I like getting A's.”

Daniel nodded. “Good. Listen, I have some stuff I have to deal with here right now. I'll talk with you the next time you come.”

“Cool, boss.” Jerome got up and stopped before he left. “And…I just wanted to say thanks.”

“For what?”

“For caring.” Jerome replied, then walked out.

 

Renée jumped out of bed.

10:04 a.m.

Damn, she was late for work. And on a Monday. Work started at ten o'clock this morning. She checked the alarm and realized she had not set it. It was a nightly habit that she never forgot. Until last night. Last night, she'd fallen asleep.

She believed she and Daniel had made a step in the right direction. She wasn't sure where they would be going from here, but she planned on taking steps. He was a good man. An honorable man. She didn't know the person he'd been, but the Daniel she saw now was a man any woman would be proud to have. But this was no time for reflecting.

She had so many things on her schedule. A meeting, a call to make about Jamie, a short meeting with Cheryl and the list went on. Now she could see that her day was going to be a long one, so instead of rushing to work she'd call in, let them know she'd be in late, and would work late, as she often did anyway.

An hour later she walked into the hospital, took the staff elevator, and walked down the corridor to her office.

Her assistant was there, back from vacation, and with a cheerful good morning she handed Renée a stack of letters as thick as a ream of paper.

“Sorry, I know that this is not your idea of how to start the morning.”

“Thanks, Gillian, and welcome back. I hope you enjoyed your trip to the Caribbean?”

“Yes, Jamaica was great. Had me a hot little island romance.”

They both laughed and Renée said, “Hold my calls for the next hour or so. I'll let you know when I'm ready.”

“Will do,” Gillian replied. The phone rang. Using this as her opportunity to get away, Renée headed for her office.

She liked Gillian. She was hardworking and knew how to do her job. They worked well together.

Entering her office, she headed straight for her desk and sat down, slipping her heels off and slipping into the comfortable pumps she kept under her desk.

Her cell phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID. Cheryl. She answered.

“Hi, Cheryl, what's up?”

“Renée, I know you just got in but I need you to come and see Jamie. She's being discharged today. She's not talking to anyone. She says she won't talk to anyone but you or Daniel.”

“I'll be there. I have to make some plans for her before her checkout time. I'll just make a few calls. I'll be down in about twenty minutes.”

“Okay, I'll meet you in her room. She's giving the nurses a hard time.”

“Just let her know I'm coming.”

“I'll see you then,” Cheryl said before breaking the connection.

Renée made the call to Gloria to let her know that Jamie would be arriving that day. Gloria had been excited at the prospect of having a new charge to care for. Renée could not understand how the old lady had
so much room in her heart to love another child. If there was anyone who could show Jamie love, it'd be Gloria.

Renée left her office, informing Gillian where she was going. She heard Jamie before she reached her room. The teenager was screaming at the top of her lungs. She hurried down the corridor. Damage control was necessary.

When she entered the room, she was sure that her shock registered. Food lay scattered on the floor along with a puddle of whatever beverage the girl had been given. However, the rest of Jamie's midday meal dripped slowly down the front of Cheryl's white blouse.

The look on Cheryl's face was incredulous, but Renée knew better than to laugh. She felt proud of Cheryl, since it had taken her a long time to control her anger. Her current calm was clear evidence of her ability to remain calm, despite the anger Renée knew bubbled beneath the surface.

“Jamie.” Renée called her name.

The teenager turned and Renée's heart almost broke. She could see the tears of anger in Jamie's eyes.

“Cheryl, I'll take over from here. Give us some time.”

“Okay, we'll talk later. I'll send someone in later to clean up the room up.”

When Cheryl was gone, Renée moved closer. Jamie had stopped crying, her head was on the pillow and she was staring at Renée, stiff with defiance.

“So what's the problem, Jamie?”

“Nuttin'.”

“I'm sure if the problem was nothing, you'd have just eaten your lunch without incident.”

“I have nothing to say.”

“Jamie, do you trust me?”

“No, I don't trust anyone,” she said between sniffles.

“So why did you ask for me?”

“'Cause you're the only one in this smelly place who ain't a fraud.”

“That's good to know. But if I'm not a fraud, why don't you trust me?”

“You tryin' to confuse me or something?” Jamie asked.

“No, just asking a simple question,” Renée responded.

“Okay, I think I trust you, but you better not be playing with me.”

Renée moved closer to the bed. She reached out and held Jamie's hands.

“You can trust me, Jamie. I just want the best for you. I promise I won't do anything without your knowing. And that's one of the reasons I'm here. I've found a home for you.”

“I ain't going anywhere I'm not wanted.”

“I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. The lady who you're going to stay with is Gloria. She was Cheryl's foster mother. You'll like her. There will be a few other girls there. If you don't like it there, I'll make sure I find somewhere else where you can go.”

“You don't have to put yourself through so much trouble. Just let me go where I was. I can take care of myself.”

“Okay, I'll make you a promise. If you don't like being with Gloria, I'll let you do whatever you want to.”

It seemed like minutes passed before Jamie spoke. “I'll go,” she said reluctantly. “But I'm going to hold you to your promise.”

“Good. I'll take you over there when you've been discharged. The doctor should be here soon. I have to go up to my office for a little bit. I'll come down as soon as Dr. Archer arrives. You can get dressed after he leaves.”

Renée reached out to touch Jamie's hand. They were trembling. Renée looked at her and realized something. She was still a little girl. Under all that boldness and bravado, she was just a little girl looking for love. Renée felt the urge to hug her, but she decided against it. Gloria's home would be the ideal place. Jamie would get all the hugs she wanted.

“I'll be back,” she said softly. Jamie smiled in return, and resting her head back against the pillows, closed her eyes.

Renée turned and left the room. She'd call Gloria and let her know that she would be dropping by later. She stepped out into the corridor and came face-to-face with Daniel. She could tell he was trying to remain calm, but she noticed the signs that he was uncomfortable. She smiled, a smile she knew didn't reach her eyes. She was still annoyed with him, and waiting patiently to see what he had to say.

“Hi,” was the only thing he said.

She responded likewise. She tried to think of
something witty to say, as women in movies would, but nothing came to mind.

Instead, she realized that sticking to business would be better.

“You've come to see Jamie?” she finally asked.

“I haven't seen her since I came back. I just wanted to know how she's doing.”

“She's in her room. She'd being discharged today. I'll be taking her over to the lady I told you about.”

“I hope she's all right with that.”

“She promised me that she would give it a try.”

“That's good. At least she's willing to give it a chance.”

“You can go in and chat with her. I just need to go to my office to collect her files and I'll be back.”

“We have to talk,” he replied.

All she could do was nod. She knew that they'd have to talk. She wasn't looking forward to it, but it was definitely inevitable.

She turned and walked away, refusing to look back. She could feel his eyes looking through her. Heat coursed through her body and when she stepped into the elevator she sighed in relief. Seeing Daniel always seemed to leave her disoriented…and flushed.

When she reached her office, she sat and searched for the papers she needed and then she stared at the clock, watching the hand move slowly along.

A half hour later, her phone rang and she snatched it up. It was Cheryl. Dr. Archer had come and gone. She put her things away, fixed her desk and headed back downstairs.

When she reached the room, she heard laughter coming from inside. It was husky male laughter and the delightful giggle of a teenage girl. Inside the picture was one she'd longed to see. Laughter transformed Jamie. She positively sparkled, and Renée almost cried with relief. Her eyes moved to Daniel. He hadn't seen her enter. He, too, had been transformed. He seemed more relaxed, more carefree.

This was the man she was falling in love with. Each aspect of his personality fascinated her, warmed her until she wanted to hold him and never let go.

He turned and their eyes met.

 

“Daniel has offered to take you and Jamie to Gloria's house. I accepted for you,” Cheryl said. She'd changed her blouse.

The look on Renée's face was incredulous and Daniel did all he could to control his laughter. She didn't want to be around him, but he had offered for a reason. He had to talk to her. To apologize. He realized he had been insensitive and unkind. He needed to rectify the situation. He wanted them to be friends. He wanted them to be more, but he didn't want to get much closer yet. His family situation still needed to be resolved. But he didn't want her to intrude in that part of his life. Next she would start acting like she was his counselor and helping him to deal with his troubled mind.

He knew that she didn't want to spend any more time than necessary with him, but he wanted to talk to her and would do anything possible to make sure they were alone. Yet he couldn't
make
her talk. She was still angry
at the way he had treated her. She couldn't help him if he kept trying to pushing her away.

He watched as Renée helped Jamie pack her bag, her back stiff and unbending. He knew her posture, her attempt to ignore him, was a cover for how she was really feeling.

She finally turned to him and said, “We're ready.”

“Good, my car is in the parking lot. I'm going to get the car and drive around to the pickup point. You can bring Jamie down,” he replied.

“Thank you. I hope we're not taking up too much of your time.”

“Of course not. I've finished work for the day. I'm all yours,” he replied, the smile on his face expanding.

She ignored him again and helped Jamie from the bed into a wheelchair.

He exited the room, holding the door open for them. When they started down the corridor he quickened his step. “I'll go ahead. Just wait for me outside.”

He turned and walked away, smiling as he did. He'd really got under her skin today and he was having so much fun with her discomfort. He walked quickly down the stairs to the bottom floor and took the exit that led directly to the parking lot. In a few minutes he was pulling up at the main entrance where Renée and Jamie stood waiting.

He stopped the car, stepping out and opening the door for each of them. When Jamie was seated in the backseat, he helped Renée in and she stepped inside. Their hands touched and he felt the now familiar spark of awareness their physical contact resulted in. She
pulled her hands away and he looked at her, willing her to lift her head. She did, and he saw the flames burning in her eyes.

She averted her gaze as he closed the door, before he rounded the car and got in. Again there was that moment of intensity when his leg touched hers. She shifted hers, moving her body closer to the door.

He pulled out of the driveway and made his way onto the highway. The drive was uneventful. When he realized that she had no intention of talking, he turned the radio on and let it do the speaking.