Midsummer Sweetheart (6 page)

Having grown up in southern Montana, living up north would be a change, but as much as he would miss his family, Erik had known for a long time that Gardiner wasn’t where he wanted to spend the rest of his life. Seeing his sister Jenny gather the courage to follow her dream, marry Sam and move to the city after a lifetime in the sticks had given Erik the idea to follow his own dream too. And living with Jenny had certainly made his education more affordable. Her rent-free cottage had allowed him to funnel all of his savings towards his education. But between his college degree, state course load, field training, and fixing up Jenny’s guest cottage in his spare time, Erik hadn’t had much time for anything else. Certainly not for much of a personal life.

That’s not to say that Erik didn’t meet a few nice girls at UGF, and being a little older and more buff than the younger undergrads didn’t hurt his luck either. He met this one girl at a campus event in the fall and had ended up seeing her now and then, but the relentless nature of his studies hadn’t left enough time for him to focus any real attention on her.

At first she seemed okay with last-minute dinner dates and sexy sleepovers, but—like all women—she eventually wanted more attention. About a week before Valentine’s Day she called him to ask if he was planning to spend Valentine’s Day with his girlfriend. He had responded that he didn’t have a girlfriend. The long silence on the other end of the line clued him into his mistake.

Well, the silence had been
followed
by her high-pitched, furious voice; “
I’m
not your girlfriend? You know, I knew you had commitment issues, but wow, I didn’t realize you were
such
a jerk, Erik. You
don’t
have a girlfriend? What the heck have we been doing?” She paused. “You know what? Don’t answer that. Just don’t ever call me again!”

He had cringed as she slammed down the phone, but relief had come quickly. Erik had sensed she wanted to deepen things, but he wasn’t really interested in seeing her more, and he certainly wasn’t interested in getting serious with her. And the honest, albeit awkward, answers to her questions would have been: “Not really.” “Not that I’m aware of.” And “Eating dinner and occasionally having sex.”

He didn’t understand why women couldn’t just enjoy a fun thing like an occasional flirty dinner followed by a night of enjoyable sex? Why did it have to get bogged down by feelings? By expectations of forever? Promises of white picket fences and engagement rings? What was so wrong with companionship without strings attached? Why did things always have to get serious?

He looked to his right where Katrin moved in her sleep, murmuring something unintelligible as her head rolled toward him, her chin finally resting on her chest.

Look where getting too serious got
you, he thought, turning his gaze back to the road.
It got you abandoned at the altar. It got you heartache. It got you nothing but a ride with a veritable stranger to some remote village to escape and start over. Bet you didn’t think it’d turn out that way, Älskling.

Älskling.
Swedish for “sweetheart.” Huh. Where did that come from? He hadn’t heard that pet name since his mother was alive; it was his father’s favorite nickname for her.

It fits you, Katrin
, he thought, glancing at her again, so small, sleeping beside him.
I hope you’re someone’s sweetheart again someday
, and then—looking at her delicate face—without his approval or permission, the word rolled off his tongue aloud. “
Älskling
.”

“Hmm?” She murmured, eyes still closed. Then in a hushed, dreamy voice.
“Är jag din Älskling?”

Am I your sweetheart?
His body froze, and he held his breath.
Shoot! She told you she knows a little Swedish, you idiot!

Erik’s cheeks felt hot and he hoped she was still asleep, still dreaming. She had a slight smile on her otherwise serene face, her eyes were still closed and her breathing hadn’t changed. He swallowed, exhaling slowly as she continued to sleep, and he finally relaxed, determined to keep his mouth shut for the remainder of her nap.

***

When Katrin’s eyes fluttered open, the first thing she saw through the windshield was a mountaintop covered with snow up ahead. The second thing she saw as she moved her neck languorously to the left was Erik Lindstrom’s handsome profile.

She yawned and sat up straighter, waking up, flexing her toes and moving her neck from side to side to get the cricks out. “How long was I out?”

“Oh, I don’t know. About an hour? Not that long.”

“I had weird dreams.” She swallowed, realizing her mouth was dry and wishing she had some water.

“Bad dreams?”

“No. Not bad. Umm. Kinda weird. Dreamy. That makes no sense. Umm. Warm. I don’t know. Safe, maybe. Yeah, safe.” She murmured these words slowly, her voice still drowsy from sleep. She took a deep breath through her nose and turned to him. “Do you have any water, Erik?”

“Yep.” He reached back to the seat pocket behind him and handed her his bottle.

“Thanks.” She took the bottle, realizing it had already been opened and was a quarter gone, meaning his lips had been on the same bottle, which, she found, didn’t bother her a bit. In fact, her stomach fluttered a little as she unscrewed the cap and took a long sip, closing her eyes, just a little turned on by the connection she felt to him, touching where his lips had touched. She screwed the cap back on and settled into her seat, enjoying the languid warmth of her residual sleep.
What was I dreaming?
She had no concrete images, no faces or names or places…just an overall feeling of warmth, of safety, of a contentment she used to know.

He shifted beside her, and the skin on her palm tingled where she’d been zapped by his handshake earlier. She felt almost uncomfortably
aware
of him beside her, like every nerve ending in her body was on high alert, waiting for…
for what?

She sighed in a huff, annoyed with the train of her thoughts
. Waiting for nothing, Kat. You’re being ridiculous. You’re a little distracted by him, and it’s been a while since someone distracted you—and let’s face it, it feels nicer than being worried or scared. But, it doesn’t
mean
anything, so don’t give it meaning. Get him out of your head. He’s handsome and that’s—

“What?” Erik was looking at her curiously.

“
What
what?” Her eyes flew open in a panic.
Oh, good Lord, did I just say all of that aloud?

He furrowed his brows and gave her a lopsided grin before looking back at the road. “You sighed.”

She relaxed. “Yeah. I don’t know. It’s weird. I didn’t wake up feeling bad.” She paused. “Do you know the feeling…like, um, have you ever lost someone you loved? And when you wake up, you get a moment, maybe, a split-second, when you don’t remember? Just for that second as you’re waking up, you feel light and hopeful, and if you had good dreams, you might even feel”—she shrugged and shook her head, a slight smile on her face—“content. And then, and then it comes crashing over you all over again and you remember the worry or the pain or the sadness. All that heaviness just…descends.”

Erik swallowed, remembering the days after his mother had passed away. He nodded once, staring out the windshield.

“That’s how I’ve been waking up. For months. You know, since the wedding and all. That momentary lapse into hopefulness before feeling frightened and defensive, that heavy feeling returning almost immediately, every morning: waiting to see how Wade would embarrass me or bother me.”

“But not just now?” he asked. “You didn’t feel it?”

“No, I didn’t. I don’t feel scared or worried. It feels so nice not to worry.” She looked up at him and smiled.

The respite from sorrow, from fear and paranoia, felt wonderful. She looked at Erik’s handsome profile. She could see the bristle of an incoming beard along his jaw line, the tiny blond hairs sparkling in the afternoon sunlight.
A beautiful jawline covered by little golden prickles. Are you prickly, Erik Lindstrom?

“Maybe I didn’t realize how much the last few weeks were getting to me,” she said, forcing herself to look away from him.

“I’m sure it was a rough time.” He glanced at her. “Do you want to talk about it a little more? About Wade?”

And just like that, the warm, contented feeling started ebbing away, from just the sound of his name. Wade. Like a mottled grey blanket had been thrown over the sun.

She grimaced lightly and shrugged. “We were together a long time. I knew he had a problem. I knew it way before my wedding day, you know? It just took that day for me to
face
it. I had to let him go. But, it still broke my heart a little bit.”

“I’ve never been…I mean, I’ve never had my heart broken. By a girl.”

“You’re lucky. It’s no picnic.”

“He’s the one with the problem.”

They were similar words to the ones he’d said at her apartment, but this time they didn’t comfort her. “You don’t even know me, Erik. Maybe it was partially my fault. Maybe I enabled him. Maybe I should have tried harder to get him help or…”

“Hey.” Erik’s voice was gentle. “He’s a grown man. If he needed help, he should have gotten some. And anyway, the drinking aside…getting wasted on his
wedding day
? Stalking you? Breaking bottles and making threats? He’s not just a jerk; he’s dangerous. You were right to walk away.”

“I wish it felt that cut-and-dried.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“We were together for five years.” He voice was soft, wistful.

Meeting Wade a few weeks after her seventeenth birthday had been a rush. He was the new kid in town, tall and handsome with twinkling eyes and a confidence that set him apart from the other high school guys. He quickly became the most popular boy in school. Football star, Homecoming king. How bewildering that he only had eyes for shy, studious Kat Svenson. At first, no one understood; she’d always been Bookworm Kat to her classmates—classmates who hadn’t noticed her physical transformation that summer. Her chest had filled out, her waist had tightened, and her blonde hair flowed down her back in a golden ripple. Having no preconception of her personality, Wade had pursued the pretty senior doggedly until she agreed to go to homecoming with him, until she’d even agreed to be his girlfriend. She’d been carried away by so much attention from the handsome, popular newcomer.

“I was about to marry him,” she continued. “I didn’t want it to end like that. I hate to see what he’s become.”

“You loved him? I guess you loved him.”

“I was with him for a long time. High school sweethearts. It’s hard to know when I stopped loving him. I knew for sure the day I couldn’t be with him anymore. But, the day I stopped loving him? I don’t know. Maybe there’s a part of me that still loves Wade, that’ll always love Wade, even though we can’t be together.”

It had been easy to love cool, confident, fun, high school Wade. It was easy to believe that he loved her back. Her mind fast-forwarded to the pitiful man raging on her doorstep a few nights ago, and she sighed. It hurt her heart to see the changes in him. It hurt her heart that the same man who held her after her father died had changed into the monster on her doorstep screaming obscenities in the middle of the night.

She trembled, drawing her legs up and resting her feet on the seat. Would she be safe? Would she ever be safe? This morning she’d awakened at her brother’s house and tomorrow she would wake up in an unknown town, far, far away from home. She wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging her body into a little ball, tuning her ears back into Erik’s words.

“…sure you’ll be okay. The worst of it’s behind you. You just have to find your footing again.”

“What if he finds me? Or what if he makes trouble for my Mom? Or Kris?”

“Hey. No, don’t worry about that. Kristian has everything under control. He’s ex-military. He’s big and he’s smart. Come on. Don’t worry about them.”

“What about me?” she whimpered, her fears circling her like wolves.

“We’re getting you far away. He’s not going to find you. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you. We’re going to check out this new job, make sure everything looks okay, and I’m going to come check on you if you need me to. And you’re going to let me know if you’re scared or if something doesn’t feel right…or if you need me. For anything. That’s the plan, okay?”

She sniffled, and her eyes filled with tears, out of self-pity, but also from his kindness. He didn’t know her at all, but he was offering his protection to her. It made her feel a little better. No, a lot better.

“Thanks, Erik.”

“Yeah, of course. You think I want to face Ing and your brother if something happens to you? Think again! You’re not alone, okay? You’re safe now.”

“Safe,” she whispered. “O-okay.”

She nodded, trying to smile for him. Then turning away, she rolled down her window, and the car was suddenly full of clean, fresh mountain air. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs, holding herself tightly, trying to convince herself that he was right and the day would come when she would finally feel safe again.

***

Her voice had cracked just before she turned away to open the window, and it bothered him to see her upset.

Great job making her feel better, Erik. Change the subject, distract her and do
not
mention the fiancé again. Make it better. Say something. Say anything.

“So. Umm…Kat, um, what’s it like having Ingrid for a sister-in-law?”

Katrin turned away from the window and glanced at him. “Probably not so different from having her as an extra sister. I mean, assuming that’s how you think of her…
Minste
.”

He nodded beside her, deciding to ignore her use of his hated nickname. “Oh, absolutely. She and Jenny were two peas in a pod growing up. Toughest thing Jen ever went through was losing our Mamma and Ing within a few months of each other. Luckily, Ing came back.”

Wow, Erik. Way to go. Great job steering the conversation into happier waters. What the hell is the matter with you?