Mile High Love (20 page)

              
“Are you going to get us both killed to make your point?”

              
“Still no faith in my skills after all this time?  Whether I’m flying or
driving, I can’t possibly be good enough to stay out of harm’s way right? 
I mean, just because Ben had a terrible accident, it’s just a dead cert that
I’m next if I keep flying, or driving, right!”

              
“This is not about faith, or Ben,” she closed her eyes and stopped short at the
loud angry bark of another driver’s horn.  She opened her eyes in time to
see the driver shoot them the bird before Gunnar finally relented and moved
back into his own lane.

“For crying out loud, obviously you
don’t give a damn about yourself or me but I have Abby to think about and I’m
pregnant you bastard!”  It was out there before she could stop it. 
Her hand flew to her mouth, and he slowed momentarily.  Shock and
disbelief were etched in the tight lines of his face and he almost softened,
almost.

              
“NO-MORE-LIES!”  He bellowed and sped back up.  “So help me I will
have the truth or this will never end. Admit the real reason you did this
Cassandra, I dare you!”

              
What little reserve Cassie had left snapped.  “Fine!  When I first
made that call I was snooping, but you’re right, if I’d have found something
that would have gotten you out of that death trap, and kept you safe on the
ground, you’re damn right I would have used it!” She threw the words at him
like a weapon.  “You want to talk about my control issues with this little
scare tactic of yours, well you got it.  I lost everything the day my
husband’s plane fell out of the sky, because he wasn’t fulfilled unless he was
up there with the rest of your type, taking it right to the edge on new stunts,
and never being satisfied with the status quo.  God forbid he had to find
his happiness solely in the successful business we ran, or in having me as his
wife, or Abby as our child.” Tears were streaming from Cassie’s eyes and her face
was full of rage, lit up by the violent emotions she had buried deep
inside.  She was furious that Gunnar had forced them to the surface this
way.  “He just had to push it, and in the end he lost.  Only problem
is he took me and his child down with him, and I’ll be dammed before I let
another man purposely take me on that ride again.” She could see his face
finally soften, and his reckless movements began to slow, but she didn’t care
anymore.  He had taken her to somewhere deep inside herself that she never
wanted to go, and she would never forgive him for the intrusion.  “I
didn’t want to hurt you again, and I tried to stop and tell you what happened
that night at your house when I finally realized what it meant to you, but I
refuse to answer any more questions about death and dying because in this
instance you don’t know what you’re talking about. You have no idea what it
feels like to lie awake at night, trembling, just waiting for the phone call
that’s going to rip me open again, just to see if I’m strong enough to live
through it!”

              
“Cassandra,” his voice was firm but there was less anger.  “You can’t keep
dictating how our lives are going to be lived based on your fears, and you
definitely have to stop doing horrible things in the name of love and
protection, that’s not fair and I won’t live like that.” Gunnar was lowering
his speed and only using the other lane to make the turns less severe as he
slowed down.

              
“Look,” Cassie’s voice was laced with frustration.  “You wanted the truth
and you went after it until you got it.  Now stop the damn car or I’m
going to get out one way or the other,” she breathed miserably.

              
“This isn’t done. We can’t leave it like this.”

              
“You bastard!”  Cassie’s hands were trembling as she fumbled with the door
lock.  “This is done,” She punched at the door, grinding her teeth
together, and slammed at it again before the lock released.  She was
beyond upset and she began to kick at the inside of the door with her foot.

              
“What are you doing?  Are you crazy?”

              
She lashed out at him, pushing against him when he leaned in to protect her,
and shrieking when her foot caught the handle just right and the door popped
open.  She felt the brakes grab and the road begin to spin before
her.  The cold wind tore at her cheeks, and she reached for Gunnar’s arm
in desperation.  Her last thoughts were of Abby as her eyes rolled upward
and the dizziness she’d fought so hard against all night finally overtook her.

              
“Cassandra. No!” she felt his arm slip from her grasp and heard his muffled cry
before she blacked out entirely.

                             
Cassie’s lungs filled with smoke and the rancid smell of gasoline attacked her
nostrils.  A stabbing pain drew her attention to her right leg, which was
caught, just barely, beneath the dashboard.  She tugged tentatively at it,
taking note of the way the car was caved in above them. She ground her teeth
together, and pulled herself free on the first try.  She shook her head
trying to clear it and felt around blindly.  “Gunnar,” her voice didn’t
sound like hers, it was raspy and dry.  “Are yo-” Fear raced through her
as she found his hand limp and heavy.  “Oh my God,” she choked back a
cry.  “I’m coming,” she forced herself to think methodically, initiating
one action at a time.  Pain shot through her foot when she tried to put
pressure on it, but the memory of Gunnar’s hand, so lethargic and lifeless
spurred her on.  Using the car as a brace she limped around to the
driver’s side.  She cursed her body for moving so slowly, and froze when
she finally got to the door itself.  Her mind took in everything all at
once.  Gunnar’s head was rolled back and over to one side and his body was
deathly still.  A slow moving trickle of blood ran from his temple to the
bottom of his chin, and was dripping at a steady pace on to the seat below. She
shook her head again, and begged the icy fear that kept her immobilized to back
off so she could help.  She braced her god foot against what was left of
the crumpled door, and ignored the aching pain coursing through her body as she
tugged in vain.  She was thoroughly distraught by the notion that she was
failing him miserably when the door finally gave way, giving her the smallest
of spaces to get to him.  “Come on baby, wake up,” she tapped at the sides
of his face and tugged frantically at his arms hoping for a quick fix. 
Instead there was nothing, no movement of any kind.  “Don’t do this to
me,” she started to cry, and screamed when the front of the car burst into
flames just below the hood.  Her hands throbbed as she clutched the sides
of his shirt and pulled, yanking him upwards with all her might, and using the
full weight of her body to get him free.  She was so tired, and her body
was screaming at her, showing its own signs of distress that she blatantly
ignored.  She looked dejectedly at the smoke pouring into the car and
redoubled her efforts, succeeding only in getting the majority of his limp body
to hang from the car before falling to the ground each time herself. She laid
there for a split second and contemplated just going to sleep for a minute but
the flames were bigger, and she forced herself back to her feet.  She was
desperate to find something, anything that would help. 

              
There was nothing.  Just trees, smoke, and more fire.  She watched in
horror as a small trail of gasoline slowly inched its way to the front of the
car.  “Gunnar please,” she groaned and reached forward, anchoring her
hands around his leather belt, and finally heaving him a short distance from
the car.  She didn’t stop again, and repeated the process of holding her
breath and pulling as hard as she could.  He wasn’t moving as far as she
would like, but at least she was making progress.  She tugged harder,
trying to cover more ground with each movement, keeping one eye glued to the
trail of gasoline. 

              
“Is somebody down there?”

              
Cassie heard a voice call out and looked to the top of the ravine.  
“It’s gonna blow!”  She yelled, trying to hold back the tears and resist
the urge to stop pulling.  “Help us please,” she added as loud as she
could, and then, “don’t let him die” more to herself than anyone else. 
She kept sobbing, and pulling, until she felt a pair of warm hands move her
aside. The man easily hoisted Gunnar up over his shoulder.  “Are you
strong enough to follow?”

              
No
her mind raged, but she nodded, and began trying to follow up the
hill behind him and back towards the road.  Towards safety.  “I’m
right behind you,” she managed to find her voice but had to drop to her knees
and crawl the rest of the way.  “Keep going!”  She shouted when the
man looked like he was going to stop and try to help her.  She watched him
disappear over the top of the ledge with Gunnar and froze when a small
explosion echoed into the night air.  It rocked her only mildly but she
buried her face into the cold Earth.  Her whole body was shaking
uncontrollably, and she didn’t realize until she took in some air that she’d
been holding her breath.

The sound of sirens blaring, and the bright red and yellow
beacons lighting up the night signaled help was finally there. Two paramedics
hopped out of the back of an ambulance and instantly went to work on
Gunnar.  It wasn’t until they had him hooked up and inside that someone
finally looked over at her.  “You were in the car as well ma’am?”

              
“Yes,” Cassie nodded robotically and woman was instantly beside her, ushering
her into the ambulance as well and closing the door.  She motioned to the
driver to get a move on and wrapped a blanket around Cassie as she began to
check her vitals.  “Are you hurting anywhere specific?”

              
Cassie was watching the other paramedic work on Gunnar.  He still hadn’t
moved and he looked so very pale.  Even the fresh bandage they had just
wrapped around his head was starting to show a familiar red stain that
continued to haunt her.

              
“Miss?”

              
“What?  Oh,” Cassie forced her attention back to the woman who was trying
to help her.  “I’m sorry.  I think I’m fine.  My right foot
hurts and the back of my shoulder, but I don’t care about myself.”  The
lady nodded and continued to work.  “I’m pregnant too,” Cassie blurted out.

              
“How far along are you?”

              
“We weren’t really sure.  Six to eight weeks maybe.”

              
“Radio ahead please,” she called up to the driver.  “Find out who’s on
call tonight in obstetrics and have someone standing by.” She took a few more
minutes to poke and prod.  “Well it looks like you’ve got a bad sprain and
some cuts and bruises, but that’s about all until we can check a few more
things.” She motioned for her to lay back. “Why don’t you get some rest as we
head back down the hill and we’ll get that baby checked out for you as soon as
we get to Mercy General. From the look of the car this could have been much
worse,” she patted her lightly on the shoulder and turned her attention back to
Gunnar. 

              
“What have we got?”

              
“His pulse is still strong but he’s lost quite a bit a blood.  We’re going
to have work fast on this one.”

              
Cassie didn’t hear anything after that statement. 
He had a pulse
,
she rejoiced, and for the first time since the whole nightmare began she gave
herself into the exhaustion she felt and fell fast asleep.

********

Exhaustion
turned out to be a true understatement.  She didn’t really want to open
her eyes much less talk to anyone, but they kept poking and prodding, until she
stirred.  She could have faked it and stayed asleep a little longer, but
the feel of a cold squishy liquid spreading out against her belly followed by
the sound of a steady, rhythmic beating brought her instantly awake.  “Is
that what I think it is?”  She smiled, taking in the incredibly fast paced
whooshing noise as if it were the greatest gift she’d ever received. 

              
“The baby’s just fine,” the nurse went to remove the listening device but
Cassie stopped her. 

              
“Please, just a little longer?”

              
“Of course,” she picked up Cassie’s chart and shook her head as if she was
genuinely concerned.  “The doctor says you are free to check out when were
done here but he wanted you to have this literature. He highlighted the areas
dealing with dehydration and blood sugar, and said to remind you to follow up
with your regular doctor and be sure to go over proper nutrition. We’ve gotten
you caught back up but one night isn’t going to do much if you don’t stick with
it.” She unlatched the listening device, removed the rest of the gel from her
belly, and helped Cassie sit up.

              
Cassie remembered how little shed eaten in the past couple of days, and an
unwelcome blush crept across her cheeks.  “I know,” she took the papers as
she stood up and tucked them into her purse.  “I have been way too busy
lately and I haven’t really had my priorities straight. Don’t worry,” she stuck
her hand up.  “I intend to change that.”

              
The nurse patted her on the back approvingly and pointed to the X at the bottom
of the page.  “Just sign here, take the top copy and you’re free to go.”

              
“Um,” Cassie signed but stopped the woman at the door. “What about the man, you
know, the one that came in with me. Where is he?”

              
“He’s been moved from ICU to a private room but the doctor isn’t allowing any
visitors just yet.”

              
 Cassie pressed her lips together.  “Is he.  Is he awake?” her
voice cracked.

              
“I really couldn’t tell you,” she dismissed her at first. “Are you family?”

              
“No,” Cassie blurted out. “Well, he’s the father of my baby,” she patted her
belly as she spoke.

              
“Oh my,” the nurse rushed to the door.  “Wait here a few more seconds,
dear.  I’ll go find out for you.”

              
Cassie sat on the edge of the bed, anxiously biting on her thumbnail.  She
stared at her cell phone debating what to do, and finally picked it up and
dialed in the number.  She was relieved to hear Abby’s voice and grateful
that she and her friend were still watching a movie which gave her a little
more time before she had to pick her up.  She said her goodbye’s just as
the nurse came back in. “They are in the process of moving him into that
private room I was telling you about.  He apparently did come around a few
times during the night, but not for very long. If you’d like to wait out in the
lobby I informed the doctor that you want to see him as soon as possible.”

              
Cassie made it to the lobby just as Wes came flying in through the glass doors.
“Someone called the office looking for Gunnar’s next of kin.  What in
God’s name happened to you two?”

              
Cassie filled him in on all of the details as they waited.  She thought
about lying or glossing over the ugly parts but she decided he needed to know
what was really going on with them.  After all, she was going to need his
help and telling him the truth was the least she could do.

              
“Are you sure that’s really what you want?”  Wes ran his hands through his
hair.  “I know things haven’t been easy for any of us, but are you sure
you need to do something so drastic?” 

              
She shrugged, feeling an acute sense of loss.  “I know your heart was in the
right place, or at least your good business sense when you and my husband
created this partnership, but I don’t think any of us could have predicted just
how much the baggage from the past would get in the way.”

              
He laughed at that and sighed, letting his head fall back against the
seat.  “I guess you’re right.  I’ll draw up something to send to your
lawyer. No matter what Cassie, we’ll figure it out.”

              
She started to tell him just how sorry she was, and how being so unprofessional
all the time really wasn’t like her, but she jumped to her feet when the doctor
approached.

              
“He woke up for about earlier today, and was starting to come around again when
he got settled in his room.  You can see him now, but only a few minutes
each.  I understand that he has no immediate family to speak of?”

              
Cassie hadn’t thought about that in years.  “No,” there was a softness to
her tone.  “His mother left when he was a baby, and his father died right
before we met in High School.”

              
“I’m sorry to hear that.  It’s quite likely he’ll be here for a few
days.  He has lost quite a lot of blood and has a nasty concussion that
we’re going to need to keep an eye on.  Leave your names at the front as
next of kin so you can see him during regular visiting hours without having to
go through me.”

              
Cassie left Wes in the lobby and walked inside.  The lights were off, and
only the faint glow from outside the edges of the curtains came through. 
He looked so small lying there in the middle of the bed.  It completely
went against his usual larger than life persona.  He was curled up on his
side in a ball facing the window.  His lids fluttered open momentarily,
and his eyes caught and held hers.  She could sense the same weariness in
him that she had felt clinging to the side of the hill.  His eyes were
bloodshot and glassy, and he looked like he was losing the battle fighting the
ache that she knew was coursing through his skull.  He licked his lips,
trying to push them together and come up with something to say, but Cassie
stopped him.

              
“Hush,” she put a finger up to stop him and reached for the ice chips next to
the bed.  “Don’t try to talk,” she fought hard to keep from crying as she
spoon fed him.  “Just rest and get better.  There’s plenty of time
for talking later.”  She wished she could just grab him, just as that man
had done, and take him immediately to safety, but she knew he was going to have
to heal on his own.  Even now, when she thought about the moment right
before the crash, a heavy weight descended upon her.  She gazed into his
eyes, knowing he needed her support to help speed his recovery, but she was
finished deluding herself that there could ever be anything lasting or real
between them.  Her heart tore in two as she caressed his cheek.  She
wanted to forget the past, and the fact that she ever loved this man.  She
had to, in order to survive herself.  He’d been angry with her and he’d
wanted the truth, but only so that he could throw it in her face.  He’d
been brutal in his relentless pursuit of it, when all she had needed or wanted
was his love.  He used to be the one to slay her dragons, she reflected
wearily, not turn them against her in order to get answers.  A tear ran
down her cheek and when it looked like he was going to try to talk again, she
gave his hand a quick kiss and limped her way out the door.

********