Miles Apart (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Book 2) (2 page)

CHAPTER
ONE

Three Months Earlier

Brooke~

I was convinced that my phone was broken. This
was the longest we’d gone without speaking. I knew he was angry when he left,
and his text had been clear, he couldn’t bear to watch me leave again. When I
walked out that door I was aware that it may be the last time I set foot in
that house, yet I still left. My relationship with Sebastian is very important
to me, but this job has been a dream of mine for seven years. I’ve worked hard,
made sacrifices, and pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of achieving.
When faced with the opportunity to step in and help Max with his struggling
restaurant, I didn’t hesitate. He believed that I could make a difference and
turn things around. I had every intention of making that happen, even if it meant
losing the one thing that made me happier than I’d ever been.

I’d
never been one to get emotionally attached. I watched my father walk away, and
never look back. I lived with a mother that put her career before her family,
never thinking about how it would affect those that loved her. Then, at the
tender age of twenty, I watched as paramedics carried away the lifeless body of
a man that had shared my passion for food, and wanted to marry me. I vowed then
and there that I would live my life for me, choosing to make my own happiness, never
allowing anyone the chance to stand in my way, regardless of the cost. I had
already paid the highest price there was, nothing else could faze me.

Or
so I thought…

Two
weeks after I’d arrived in London, and settled into a routine, everything came
crashing down around me. It had been a really good night at the restaurant. The
dining room had more reservations than ever, the service was flawless, and the
kitchen staff were finally working out the kinks. The food that left the
kitchen tonight was exquisite, and I had been proud to call for service as each
finished plate reached the pass. We closed for the evening, and I began the
short walk home.

My
apartment was only three blocks from the restaurant, and a walk was a nice way
to unwind after a long day. The sky was clear tonight, and I found myself
looking up at the stars, remembering the last time we’d looked at the stars
together.

He’d
been on tour for ten days now. I knew they had been scheduled to kick off the
tour in Stockholm. Their itinerary had them bouncing all over the place for the
next five months. I had never dated him while he was on tour, so I wasn’t sure
how it all worked. I wasn’t even sure we were still a couple. Before I walked
out I had left the engagement ring on a table in the man cave, in front of my
favorite photo of us. I couldn’t bring myself to keep it, not because I didn’t
want it, I would have loved for him to slip that on my finger, to see his face
when he proposed. I left it because I didn’t feel worthy of having it. I left
him. If I would have had any idea what he had planned, I would have told him
the truth sooner. I knew that I had screwed up. If anyone was to blame for the
demise of this relationship, it had been me.

Jade
wasn’t sure how to handle my situation. On one hand, she was my best friend, on
the other, she was Dek’s girlfriend. Dek and Sebastian had been best friends
since grade school. I didn’t want to come between them, so I did what came
naturally, I dealt with it on my own. We still spoke regularly, but the topic
of Sebastian never seemed to come up. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about
that.

I
climbed the steps to my apartment, a space much smaller than my apartment in
Michigan had been, and smaller than the L.A. home I had so easily left behind.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t hear the voice behind me.

“Hey,
it’s Brooke, right?” I turned to find a guy standing in front of the open door
across from mine. A smile formed on his face as it finally registered with me
that he had asked a question.

“I’m
sorry,” I blushed. “I seem to have been in another world. Yes, I’m Brooke.
Brooke Caldwell. And who might you be?”

“Reid.”
He extended his right arm, and I met it with my own. His grasp was firm, and
his eyes never left mine as he spoke. “Reid Masters. It’s nice to finally meet
you.”

“Yeah,
I just moved in. I haven’t really had a chance to be social.” I laughed,
nervously.

“Well,
a few of us are getting together tomorrow night, in 3B, you should join us, it
makes the transition a whole lot easier.” He smiled, knowingly.

“That
obvious, huh?” I returned the smile. “So, I take it you’re not from around here
either?”

“Nah,
I had a great opportunity so I transferred here six months ago from Ohio. How
about you? What brought you to London?”

“A
little of the same. I’m a chef, and I had a job offer that I couldn’t refuse.
I’m only here for nine months though.”

“Seriously?
I’m a chef too. Which restaurant?” He leaned in a bit closer. “I’m over at
Oliver’s.”

“That’s
crazy. I’m right next door at Lardon’s.” I replied, shaking my head at the
irony.

“We
should compare schedules, there may be nights when I could walk you home.” He
smiled and I responded with a forced grin. The thought of another man walking
me home somehow didn’t feel right, even if it was a friendly gesture.

 
I placed a hand on the door knob,
signaling the end of the conversation. “Listen, I’m a little tired, I should
probably head in. It was very nice meeting you, and I’ll think about tomorrow,
it might be kind of fun to meet some new people.”

“Sounds
great.” He continued to watch me. His eyes gleamed under the fluorescent
lighting above us. I stuck my key in the door and fumbled with the lock. He
came up behind me, placing a warm hand over mine, and I drew in a sharp breath
with the unexpected contact. My heart ached for what it had been missing. More
specifically, who it was missing. Reid’s presence only served as a reminder of
that emptiness.

“Here,
let me help you,” he offered kindly. I moved aside, allowing him access to the
difficult door. “Mine does the same thing, you just need to jiggle it a bit to
the right.” After a few seconds, it opened. “See.” He grinned, stepping aside
to let me pass. “Goodnight Brooke Caldwell. I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more
of each other.” I laughed softly, pausing a moment to take in his appearance.
He was tall, but not as tall as Sebastian. His eyes were blue, but not
sapphire, and he had blonde hair. His smile was warm, and he smelled nice, but
it wasn’t a scent that I was familiar with. The ache in my heart returned with
a vengeance.

“Thanks,
Reid. Goodnight.” I closed the door, leaning against it for support. A tear
escaped down my cheek and I wiped it away angrily, not ready to let go and
allow my emotions to take over. I had nothing to feel guilty about. He was just
a man, not someone I was looking to have a relationship with. Besides, I was
here alone, it would be nice to make a few friends, maybe it would help the
time pass. I dropped my bag on the chair, and headed to the kitchen to grab a
bottle of water, before going to the bedroom. I grabbed the small pull-string,
turning on the bedside lamp, illuminating the lone picture frame beneath it. My
eyes settled on the man in the photo, and for the first time since I had landed
in London, the need to let go was too strong to suppress.

I
cried ugly, allowing the pain to overtake me and break me. For years I had fought
to be strong and independent, never relying on the approval of another. It was
this thought that made my body tremble in realization. I had become my mother.
Just as my mother had placed her career before her family and those that loved
her, so had I. Sebastian had loved me, and even though I loved him, I chose to
put my dreams before everything else. Even though I still loved my mother, I
hated her for her selfishness. I wondered if Sebastian felt the same kind of
hate for my selfish choices?

I
picked up my phone, deciding that two weeks had been too long. I needed to know
if he still wanted me in his life. I sent a text, afraid that if I called he
wouldn’t answer.

Me: I never should have
walked out that door.

I
placed the phone on my chest, my head resting on the pillow. I wasn’t even sure
he would respond, but it needed to be said. A few minutes later, my phone chimed.

Sebastian: Ditto.

One
simple word. But, it was more than enough.

Me: I’m lost without
you. Please tell me you still love me.

Sebastian: I’ll always
love you.

Me: I’m sorry I wasn’t
honest with you. It was the biggest mistake of my life. You deserved more.

My
phone rang in my hand, and I started crying all over again.

“Hi,”
I answered, breathlessly.

“Hi
baby. Are you crying?” He asked, tenderly.

“I
can’t help it. I finally broke down tonight and I can’t seem to stop. Seeing
your name on my phone just started it all over again. I can’t believe I’m
hearing your voice. I’ve missed you so much. Why didn’t you call me?”

“I
wanted to give you space, maybe that wasn’t such a good idea after all. I’m
sorry I made you cry. But you could have called me.”

“No,
you didn’t make me cry; this was my own doing.” I sniffed, wiping my nose on my
sleeve. “I guess I was too afraid to call, afraid that you wouldn’t speak to
me. I discovered something about myself today.”

“Oh
yeah, what’s that?”

“I’m
just like my mother, and I hate that.” I sighed, hating that I had to admit
such a repulsive truth.

“No.
No honey, you aren’t your mom, she didn’t care about her family, she only cared
about herself.” He replied, defensively. He had always taken issue with the way
my mother had raised me, or how she failed to raise me. “You have a lot of love
in your heart. I’ve never doubted your love for me, Brooke. It wasn’t right for
me to want to get in your way. I’m trying to accept that you have two loves in
your life, me and your work. I know that you have worked hard for this, and
that it was your dream.”

“Thank
you,” I whispered, crying again. “I know it was my dream, but why do I feel
like I’m stuck in a nightmare and I can’t wake up? I love being here, what I’m
doing, but I don’t love it more than I love you. Everything I achieve feels
pointless without you here to share it with me.”

I
heard a muffled choking sound on the other end, and then a moment of silence.
He sniffed loudly, coming back to the phone. “I think I’m stuck in the same
nightmare. What can we do to get out of it?”

“I
need to see you. I need to feel you, to kiss you again. I think a bone-crusher
is needed,” I laughed, nervously, still uncertain of where things stood between
us. “That way, I’ll know we’re okay.”

He
laughed heartily, making my heart swell in response. “I'm dying to kiss you
again. How soon can you get to Germany?”

A new peace surrounded
me after hearing his
voice. It was a welcome change to what I had been feeling. Before hanging up,
an act that had taken twenty minutes because we couldn’t stop saying I love
you, we made arrangements for me to join him in Berlin. They would be staying
there a week, performing four shows. I couldn’t believe that I was finally
going to see them perform, it was sort of like icing on the cake. I would be
there for two nights, and I had every intention of spending one of them in the
hotel, in his arms.

The
next night I arrived home from the restaurant, energized and eager to meet my
neighbors. I quickly showered and changed into jeans and a Paradox T-shirt,
pulling my hair into a high ponytail. I left my apartment and made my way to
3B, knocking tentatively upon arriving. The door swung open and I found myself
standing face to face with Reid. When he saw me a huge smile spread across his
handsome face.

“Brooke!
Come in. Hey everyone, this is Brooke, she lives in 2A, across from me.” He
announced, happily. Everyone greeted me heartily and I gave a small wave in
return, suddenly feeling shy. “Here, come with me.” He squeezed my hand,
pulling me through the apartment, until we reached the small bar set up on the
kitchen counter. “Name your poison,” he offered, never releasing my hand.

“Um,
I’ll just have a glass of wine. White, please.” He let go, and my skin tingled
as the blood rushed back to the extremity. “Thank you,” I responded, as I took
s sip.

We
moved to the living room, where everyone mingled in various positions, some were
on the sofa, some chose to stand, while others sat in groups on the floor. I
tucked my legs under my body and joined them, Reid filled the space to my left.

“So,
how was your night, did you get some sleep?”

“Oh,
yeah,” I blushed. “It was a great night.”

“Oh
wow, you sure are cute when you blush. Has anyone ever told you that?”
 
His head cocked to the side, and his
smile was contagious.

“Um,
I may have heard that once or twice,” I replied softly, as my cheeks turned a
deeper shade of crimson, remembering each time Sebastian had spoken those same
words to me, and the effect they still had on me.