Million Dollar Marriage (10 page)

Lucy closed her eyes and groaned as she remembered what she’d done last night. Good
Lord, where had all of that come from? The venomous way she’d spilled her guts about
what had happened between them that night back in high school. The emotional reaction
when he’d made it clear that he felt nothing for her now. The seduction later on.
The…enthusiasm with which she’d made love to him.

It wasn’t her. None of that was her. Or it didn’t used to be. Now…Lord, now everything
seemed different.
She
seemed different. Like a stranger to herself.

“Good morning.” His voice was low, wary, and coming from the other end of the room.

She turned her head toward it, even though she’d have rather buried it in her pillows.

“You still speaking to me?” he asked.

Squeezing her eyes tight, she nodded. “I should probably be the one asking you that
question.”

“No, you’re wrong there.” He sighed, and she opened her eyes to face him once more.
“How are you feeling this morning?”

Lucy shrugged while doing a quick self-analysis. “Slight headache. Not bad, though.
And a bad case of cotton-mouth.”

“A cup of coffee will fix that right up,” he said, and he ducked through the bat-wing
doors, and emerged a second later with a filled cup. “Cream and
one sugar, right?” Crossing the room, he set the cup on the big coffee table.

“How’d you know?” God, it smelled heavenly. And there were other scents wafting her
way now. Bacon. She could hear it sizzling, too.

“I’ve seen you drink coffee a couple of times before. At the Double Crown, and the
hospital cafeteria.”

And remembered, she thought. Very odd thing for a man like him to do. She lifted the
steaming cup to her lips, took a sip, and set it down again in its saucer. “You make
good coffee.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a start.”

Lucy looked at him. He seemed nervous, not at all his usual confident ladies’ man
self. “Holden…”

“Lucy…” he said at the same time.

She managed a smile, though it was awkward. “You first,” she said.

“Okay. I owe you an apology. Several apologies, in fact. I really don’t think there’s
any way I can make all of this up to you. But I’m going to try.”

She blinked. This was not what she had expected to hear from him this morning. “For
what?” she finally asked.

“Oh, come on. For everything. I took advantage of your crush on me when you were an
innocent teenager. I took advantage of your condition last night when you had too
much wine. I hurt you both times with my cavalier attitude, and I—I’m just sorry,
Lucy. More sorry than I can say.”

Licking her lips, lowering her gaze, she said, “As I recall, Holden, I’m the one who
initiated…things. Both times.”

“But I knew better. And it doesn’t matter. Look, Lucy, if you’ve changed your mind
and want out of this arrangement, just say the word.”

He looked at her, waiting. She drew a breath. “Do you want out of it?”

His brows drew together. “I don’t know how to answer that.”

“Well, neither do I.”

He nodded, maybe seeing the futility of asking such a question now that it had been
turned around on him. “If we stick with it…then I’d like for us to start over.”

“Start over?”

“Clarify the terms of our arrangement, and start over. No misunderstandings this time.
Everything spelled out.”

Lowering her gaze, she said, “About sex, you mean?”

Holden blew air through his teeth. Then he turned and paced away. “I’d better get
the bacon. I hope you’re hungry.”

She wasn’t, but that didn’t seem to matter. By the time she had dragged on the robe,
and hauled herself into the bathroom to brush her teeth and run a comb through her
hair, he had a full-blown breakfast set out on the dining room table. Hash browns
and hotcakes and bacon and eggs. A breakfast fit for a heart attack.

He pulled out her chair, and she sat down. Then he refilled her coffee cup before
taking his own seat.

“Wow,” she said. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

“There’s a lot about me you don’t know.”

She nodded. “So, go on, will you? With…what you were saying before. About…terms.”

Holden closed his eyes. “This is not easy for me,” he said.

“No. Not for me, either. But I think it will be easier if you just lay it out on the
table, Holden. Just get it said, and we’ll take it from there.”

He nodded. “Okay. That’s what I’ll do then.”

She looked at him, waiting. He delayed the inevitable by filling his plate, but when
he’d finished, he looked down at the food as if he’d lost his appetite.

“Holden…”

“All right, here it is. I am attracted to you. It was unfair of me to try to tell
you I didn’t want you, because I do.”

She nodded. “Well…”

“I guess I didn’t need to say that at this point. I pretty much let that bull out
of the barnyard last night, didn’t I?”

Her cheeks were heating, but she managed to nod.

“So, uh, this would be the point where you say something similar to me,” he said.

She looked up from her empty plate, where she’d been staring hard enough to burn holes
for a full tick of the clock. “You already know I want you, Holden.”

“It might have been the wine.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Okay. Okay, so we’ve established that. So here’s the thing. I…I am not—” He bit his
lip. “I’m not a one-woman man, Lucy. I’m not husband material. I’m not the kind of
guy who would be good for any decent
lady to settle down with or fall in love with or anything like that.”

She nodded. But she didn’t want to look at him just now, so she started putting food
on her plate to avoid having to.

“I married you to get my inheritance. That’s all. And once I do that, this thing will
be over. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings about that. I don’t want you
to go thinking—or hoping—for anything different.”

Again she nodded. “And you thought I would assume that if we had sex, that signaled
some sort of change of heart,” she said slowly. “You were afraid I would start hoping
for something…ridiculous. Like a real relationship with you or, God forbid, a real
marriage.” She lifted her head, at last, and met his eyes. “Holden, you’ve done everything
but hold up a neon sign telling me that isn’t going to happen. Trust me, I believe
you.”

He sighed, his shoulders slumping forward in relief. “Good. I just… I don’t want to
end up hurting you again.”

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m not gonna let you.”

He nodded. Then he dug into his food without much enthusiasm. Ate for a few moments.
Lucy did likewise, though she wasn’t much hungrier than he seemed to be.

Then she lifted her head, sipped her coffee to wash down her food and said, “So where
does this leave things between us?”

He met her eyes, chewing, brows lifted as if he didn’t understand the question.

“Regarding sex,” she said.

Holden choked on whatever he’d just swallowed, reached for his coffee, and slugged
enough of it down to clear his throat. Then he finally drew a breath and leaned back
in his chair, staring at her.

Lucy told herself not to be embarrassed, but she was anyway. Still, this was necessary.
Her life was on the line, as well as her only chance at ever becoming a mother. This
was important to her, dammit. More important than her pride or her morals or anything
else.

When he got hold of himself, Holden seemed to be searching for words. Finally he found
some. “Look, Lucy, I don’t think sex between us is a hell of a great idea.”

She lowered her head.

“But…”

She looked up again. “But?”

Holden looked completely baffled. “Look, I’m not gonna kill myself trying to play
the martyr here. I’m no saint, Lucy. And I’m not made of stone, either.”

She shook her head at him. “You’re saying?”

“I’m not going to initiate anything. Because I think it’s a mistake. I think you’re
going to end up wanting more from me than I can give, and getting hurt.”

She nodded. “But if…I’m the one to initiate things?”

“After everything I’ve just said, you would still want to?”

“Holden, we have to stay married for a year. I just don’t see why we can’t let ourselves…enjoy
it.”

He slanted her a glance. “You’re saying…you enjoyed it last night?”

“What, you didn’t pick up on that when I was screaming your name?”

He licked his lips, and she could almost see him remembering.

“I have to tell you, it was a far cry from the first time.”

His brows went up. “That bad, was it?”

“Worse.” She smiled, but let it die when he searched her eyes again. “Holden, if I
were to tell you that I still want you…”

He closed his eyes. “Like I said, I’m not made of stone.”

Smiling just a little, she nodded. It was going to work. She was going to get pregnant.
Have a baby. Of her own.

And remembering last night, thinking about how Holden had been with her, made her
realize that the process of getting what she wanted wasn’t going to be an unpleasant
one. In fact, just sitting here discussing it with him was making her temperature
rise and her body grow moist and hungry.

She pushed her plate away, got to her feet while Holden looked on. Time to seal the
deal. Once more for good measure. She had to be sure. “I have a deal of my own to
offer you, Holden.”

He looked scared to death. “Wh-what would that be?”

“Make love to me again. I’d like to try it once when we’re both sober. And after that…I’ll
leave you alone.”

He closed his eyes. “Lucy…”

“Holden, you’re the one who just laid it all on the table. And this is me, initiating
things.”

“I don’t understand you at all.” He got to his feet, though, closing his hand around
hers.

She lowered her head. “Holden… I’m not all that…experienced. And the few times I have…been
with a man…I never—I mean, he couldn’t make me…”

Holden’s eyes slammed closed so hard and so fast she knew he understood what she was
getting at. At least this much hadn’t been a lie. He shuddered visibly.

“I like what I felt with you last night, Holden. I want to feel it again. And if you
still don’t understand me, then—” she parted the robe, and let it fall slowly down
off her shoulders to pool on the floor around her feet “—then maybe this will help
clarify things for you.”

“Holy mother of… Lucy….” His eyes said it all. He backed away from the table, to come
around it to where she stood, and he moved so jerkily that he knocked his chair over
and didn’t even seem to notice. And then he stood in front of her, his gaze raking
her body as fire came to life in his eyes.

He was hers. Reduced to a trembling, totally erect slave willing to obey her every
wish. And she knew it. It was kind of thrilling, actually, to realize that he was
this powerfully attracted to her, when for so long, she’d believed him indifferent.

And as he wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close against him, as his hands
and his mouth went to work eliciting sensations she’d never known before, she thought
maybe she wouldn’t keep her promise to leave him alone, after this. Maybe that was
a promise she didn’t want to keep at all.

L
ucinda Brightwater Fortune was not turning out to be at all what Holden had expected
her to be. He’d thought she would be the way he’d always thought of her. Far above
being overwhelmed by anything as earthy as sexual desire. He’d thought she would be
cool, cold even, in the physical sense.

She wasn’t.

When he made love to her it was like nothing he’d experienced before in his life,
and he had experienced a lot. She was hot, and hungry for him, and so responsive to
his every touch, his every kiss, his every whisper. He hadn’t realized he’d married
such a firecracker. But he had. And when she told him she hadn’t felt these things
with any other man she’d been with, he was inclined to believe her. Maybe that was
partly because it was good for his ego to believe her. And maybe it was just because
he knew it was the same for him.

What the hell he was supposed to make of that, he didn’t know. He just knew that if
she wanted him, he didn’t have the strength to refuse her. He’d tried to be honorable
and do the right thing by her, but he’d never claimed to be a saint.

It was late morning by the time he got around to putting his clothes on and headed
outside to survey
the damage from the storm the night before. There were a couple of trees down. One
of the trees had snapped the line from the generator to the house on its way. At least
neither of them had hit the car when they’d come crashing down. And the driveway was
still clear. He couldn’t stay here indefinitely, but he could clean up the mess. He
headed back inside to get what he needed.

“How bad is it?”

Holden looked up at the sound of her voice. And when he saw her, he got an odd little
shiver up his spine. She was like two women. Right now, she was Lucinda in the Sky
again. Clean, a white cotton shirt tucked into her jeans, her still damp hair pulled
back into a ponytail. She had that fresh, girl-next-door face on again. And he could
hardly believe she was the same woman who’d clawed his back and panted hot words into
his ear this morning.

She looked as if she’d showered. He puzzled over that for a moment.

“The lake,” she said, reading his face. “I went down and washed up there while you
were out surveying the damage. So, how bad is it?”

Damn. He would have liked to have gone with her, naked, into that cold water. Damn.

“Uh, not too bad. There are a couple of trees down. I need to grab the chain saw out
of the back room and clean up the mess.”

“You want some help?”

His brows went up. “You want to help?”

She nodded. “I’m kind of eager to get back. Want to check in on that preemie and his
mother.”

Holden lowered his head. “I’m sorry we have to
spend the morning like this. I’d hoped we could talk. Get to know each other a little
better before we headed back.”

She averted her eyes. “I kind of thought we had.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not what I meant.”

She nodded, lifted her gaze, looked slightly reluctant. “Well, we can talk while we
work.”

“Okay. I’ll get that saw.”

She wouldn’t have expected him to power up a chain saw and attack a fallen tree like
a seasoned lumberjack. She would have expected him to get on his cell phone and call
for help, maybe order up a crew of blue-collar men to come and take care of this mess.
She would have expected him to fix things up with his checkbook, not with his hands.

And his arms, and his shoulders and…

She was glad the chain saw made talking pretty much impossible. She didn’t want to
get to know him any more than she already had. She was afraid of that. She hadn’t
acknowledged the reason why, but it was in there just the same. All she wanted from
Holden Fortune was a baby, and the money for her clinic, and to be allowed to keep
right on seeing him as the kind of man he seemed to believe he was. A womanizer, a
cad, a rogue just like his father.

She didn’t want to learn otherwise. Because if he wasn’t a total bastard, then what
she was doing was really horrible.

But he was. Hadn’t he agreed to have sex with her as long as she didn’t expect any
feelings along with it? No decent man would say something like that.

Anyway, it didn’t matter.

She tore her eyes off him as he worked, wearing a tank top now that revealed way too
much of him for comfort. Lucy picked up the fireplace-size chunks of wood he sawed
away from the tree, and stacked them in the woodpile near the front of the cabin.

She tried very hard not to keep looking his way. And she also tried not to remember
what it had been like to make love to him…last night, and then again this morning,
and then
again
this morning, and—

Hell. She’d expected it to be quick and clinical. No more intimate, really, than artificial
insemination would have been. He was just a sperm donor, after all.

But it hadn’t been like that at all. He played her the way Mozart played the piano.
He made her body come alive, her nerves sing, her heart thunder. He made her wish—

Oh, no. She wasn’t going to fall into that trap. No. Uh-uh.

She piled more wood.

The sound of the chain saw finally died away, and Holden began helping her pick up
logs and stack them. She glanced at the fallen tree. All the big parts had been cut
into manageable hunks, and the smaller, bushy limbs laid all over the place.

“Now we can talk,” Holden said, grinning at her as he brought a stack to where she
stood near the woodpile.

She shrugged, and her nerves kicked in. “About what?”

“About you. I told you a whole lot about my family last night, so I figure it’s your
turn.”

“Oh.” She thought a second. That wouldn’t be so bad. She couldn’t learn anything too
deep about him
if she were the one doing the talking, right? Not that she really suspected there
was anything all that deep to learn. He was just what he seemed. “Well…let’s see.
What do you want to know?”

Side by side, they walked back to the driveway, their arms loaded with wood. It smelled
good, the mingled scents of chain saw exhaust and sawdust and the wood itself.

“What made you decide to become a doctor?”

She went still for just a moment, then straightened with her arms loaded down. “My
mother.”

“She encouraged you?”

“She…died when I was twelve.”

“Oh, hell. I’m sorry, Lucy.”

“It’s all right. It was tough, but I got through it. It was ovarian cancer. When I
started studying medicine I realized there had been warning signs. If enough had been
known back then, they might have been able to prevent it.”

Holden’s eyes were on her, soft and sympathetic. “Matthew’s mother died of cancer,
too. I’m pretty sure that’s why he took up medicine.”

She nodded. “It’s not an uncommon motivator.”

“So what were these warning signs you mentioned?”

Shrugging, Lucy carried her logs to the pile, and unloaded them one by one. “She had
a lot of trouble conceiving, which is why I’m an only child. I imagine there were
precancerous cysts even then. If someone had caught on, diagnosed them soon enough…”
Another shrug, and a sigh.

“Then, what?”

“I don’t know. The sane thing would have been to
have her ovaries removed. But I’m not sure she’d have done it. She wanted another
child very badly.”

“But she wouldn’t have died trying. Would she?”

Lucy brushed the sawdust from her hands. “She might have. The maternal urge can be
pretty powerful, you know.”

He frowned, and she didn’t like that look, so she hurried back to the wood scattered
on the ground, to pick up some more.

“It must have been tough on you, losing your mom when you were so young.”

“It was.”

“And what about your dad? He must have been there for you, helped you get through
it, huh?”

Lucy shook her head. “Not really. Dad kind of withdrew into his grief after Mom died.
He was there but he wasn’t, you know? He was sort of…disconnected. Distant. It was
like he shut down emotionally.”

“In what way?”

More wood. Another trip to the pile. “Well, he stopped feeling. He didn’t get mad,
or sad or happy or anything. He just seemed to hover in some state of…nothing.”

“So you aren’t close to him anymore.”

“No. I mean, I pay the obligatory visits at Christmas and Father’s Day. He calls on
my birthday. But there’s not much of a bond there anymore. Once Mom was gone, we just
grew apart. He moved to Dallas right after I left for college.”

“That’s really sad, Lucy.”

She lifted her chin, forced a smile. “Sure a far cry from your family, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Sometimes mine are too close and too involved.”

“I got that impression at our, uh, wedding.”

“Logan? Hell, he’s got chivalry coming out his ears. Probably thought you needed fair
warning, and he’d be the only one noble enough to give it to you.”

“I suppose his intentions were good.”

“Yeah, well, they usually are. He doesn’t exactly approve of my life-style. None of
my family does.”

Her lips pulled tight. Holden’s gaze was too sharp, too attentive, and he noticed.
“What?” he asked.

“I was just thinking how disappointed they’ll be when they realize this marrying and
settling down routine of yours was all a sham.”

He shook his head. “You’re probably right. But we’ll have plenty of time to worry
about that later.”

She shook her head. “It’s still kind of mean to get their hopes up. Maybe you should
tell them the truth.”

“Are you kidding? They’d crucify me.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“No way. You should have heard them all warning me away from you at the party. You’re
far too nice a girl for the likes of me, and they all know it.”

She shook her head, a little wave of guilt rising up inside her. “They don’t know
me at all.”

“They know enough. I agree with them on that.”

“Oh, Holden, don’t be—”

“And if they knew I’d somehow convinced you to go along with this scam, they’d be
furious. Hell, I wouldn’t blame them.”

She looked up fast. “Doesn’t anyone give a grown woman credit for having the ability
to make up her own mind and face the consequences?”

He grinned. “They’re mostly of the opinion that even a grown woman is helpless against
the snake-in-the-grass charm of Cameron Fortune’s firstborn son.”

Her brows went up. She almost smiled. “Guess I’ll be the one to prove them wrong then,
won’t I?”

He nodded, but she saw the doubt in his eyes. And she felt her own doubts creeping
into her heart.

When the wood was all piled, they dragged the smaller limbs and scraps down near the
lake, and piled them there. Holden said they’d make for a nice bonfire once they’d
had time to season, and Lucy had a moment of anticipation when she’d actually felt
herself looking forward to coming back here with him, sitting beside the lake in front
of a roaring fire. It would be…

It wouldn’t happen. And it would be a mistake to start thinking about future times,
future visits, future anything. She had no future with Holden. She had to remember
that.

When the work was done, they returned to the cabin, tidied the place up and packed
their things. And by lunchtime, they were ready to head back to the real world. Her
interlude with Holden was over. And she had to admit to herself that she’d relished
every moment of it.

Holden wasn’t worried. He knew his mother wouldn’t let him down. She never had. He
and Lucy stopped for lunch at a dirt-road diner they found on the way back home, and
once they’d ordered, he excused himself to head to the bathroom. But instead he headed
outside, where he leaned against the slab-sided building with a view of its single
gas pump, and called home.

Mary Ellen answered the phone.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Holden? Good Lord, son, where have you been?”

“Out at Lake Kingston. Listen, um, something happened. I would have liked to have
talked to you about it first, but so much was going on….”

“Yes, it has been crazy here.”

“Is there any word on the baby yet?”

He heard his mother’s sigh, could picture her eyes clouding with worry. “No. Not a
thing. Sam is doing all he can, but—”

“Sam?”

“Sam Waterman,” she said.

Holden never had cared much for the way Uncle Ryan’s head of security looked at his
mother. The woman was a widow, for crying out loud. And hearing her refer to Waterman
by his first name made Holden’s hackles rise just a little. Made no sense, he realized.
Hell, as lousy as Cameron had treated her, she’d certainly been faithful the whole
time he’d been alive. She’d done her time, earned her happiness.

But Sam Waterman? Hell, she could do better.

“So, what is it you want to tell me?” his mother asked, breaking into his thoughts.

Holden sighed. “I guess there’s no way to do this except to just come out and say
it. I, um… I got married.”

Silence. Absolute stunned silence.

“Mom?”

“Holden Cameron Fortune,” she said, and he knew he was in for it. She never used his
middle name unless she was furious with him. “If you think for one
minute that you are going to bring one of those tramps of yours into this house…into
this
family—
”

“I married Lucy Brightwater.”

Again silence. Then, “Claudia’s doctor?”

“Yes.”

There was a long, slow sigh. “Oh, Holden. Oh, Holden, tell me this isn’t some kind
of game you’re playing with her. She’s such a sweet girl…. Holden, do you love her?”

“I married her, didn’t I?”

“That is not an answer.”

“Look, I’m calling from the middle of nowhere, and Lucy’s waiting. I just wanted to
let you know. We’re on our way home now, and I think it would be nice if the family
would…do something to show Lucy she’s welcome.”

A long pause. “That’s…awfully thoughtful of you,” his mother said, which he figured
was her way of saying, “That’s totally unlike you, Holden.”