Mind Over Matter
License Notes
Copyright © Kaia Bennett 2015
Cover Art by
Najla Qamber Designs
Formatting by
Deranged Doctor Design
Model Photo by
Taria Reed/The Reed Files
Edited by
Jacquelyn Fox/Happy Endings Editing
All rights reserved
This book is protected under the copyright laws. Any reproduction or other unauthorized use of the material or artwork herein is prohibited.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Disclaimer: The persons, places, things, and otherwise animate or inanimate objects mentioned in this novel are figments of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to anything or anyone is unintentional.
For my readers, especially the fans of Gabriel and Nicole.
I tied these loose ends up for you.
Acknowledgments
This book and this series wouldn’t be one I love and am proud to have written without the help of several wonderful people:
Thank you Jacquelyn Fox, for taking my rough draft and turning it into a series I fell in love with all over again. You’re a wonderful editor, writer, and human being.
Thank you Najla Qamber for the amazing and gorgeous cover art. You’re a sweetheart, a true professional, and your work is to die for. I’ve been coveting it from afar for years and I finally got some! Mwahaha!
Thank you Deranged Doctor Design for making the inside as beautiful as the outside, and for fitting me in while I hustled to get this series out there on time. You guys are wonderful and do amazing work.
Thank you Taria Reed for creating The Reed Files and the photos that grace my covers. I can’t imagine them without your photography and the gorgeous, diverse models you work with. And a special thanks to models Angelina, who made a beautiful Nicole, and Scott and John, who brought sexy Gabriel to life.
Thank you Mia Searles for going above and beyond what your job entails, for believing in this series and me, and for being a wonderful friend. I’ve grown so much with your guidance and I’m excited to see where we’ll be next year.
Thank you Kirsti for being an inspiration, a confidante, an amazing talent, and even more amazing friend. Would I be writing if I hadn’t met you years ago and read your work? I’m glad I don’t have to imagine that. You are our favorite word, love: awesome!
Thank you Reese for being a wonderful writing buddy and friend. Years ago you helped me make sense of Loose Ends when I was stuck due to lack of confidence and just plain old writers block. I’ll never forget it.
Thank you Kirsti, Sophia, Erin, Kiara, Crystal and Katara for beta reading the shit out of this manuscript. You caught my mistakes, you gave me the feedback I needed from the reader perspective. And you also loved it so much that you picked out the places that spoke to you. You’re the best.
Thank you Kaia’s Kinkaholics for loving my work so much you wanted to be in a group that shares it with others who love to read. It’s a tough business and I appreciate your support so much.
Thanks to all my author/publishing buddies. I never thought I’d have so many of you to be grateful for. The last year and change has been wonderful thanks to your support and advice. I wish you all so much success and happiness, and I’m proud to know such great people and wonderful artists.
Thank you to all the bloggers and reviewers that took a chance on a new author and in the process fell in love with Gabriel and Nicole. Thank you guys for promoting and pimping my work, and showing how awesome the indie/self-publishing community can be.
Thank you to my family and friends who, rain or shine, blank page or complete book, have loved and encouraged me every step of the way. You’ve never doubted I could give my best, you propped me up when I was at my worst. You didn’t shame me for writing what I write. And you never let me rest on my laurels. I’m a good person who knows how to love thanks to you.
Thank you to the readers, from those of you who read the first chapter of Sunday in 2008 when it was an online serial, to those of you who will find me long after this book is published. I don’t know what to say other than thank you, I love you, and I’m so glad I shared my work with you.
THE LOOSE ENDS SERIES
#1 Crush
(Book 1)
Closer
(Book 2)
Mind Over Matter
(Book 3)
Table of Contents
Chapter One
One year later...
"Not bad," Nicole murmured with a nod of approval.
She watched her reflection sweep long bangs to the side and tuck them behind a piercing-laced ear. Her fingers ran through the shortened length to add a little body and she smiled, humming along to the radio as she assessed herself from all angles. The new haircut had been a good idea she decided, her hair now falling just a little past the nape of her neck instead of down her back. It was a nice change of pace from having to straighten it out for nearly an hour if she wanted to wear it down. Now she could do it in about twenty minutes and be ready to go. Plus, keeping her face away from burning hot styling tools for extended lengths of time was probably a good thing, considering her natural affinity towards klutziness.
She grabbed the cap she was going to wear off the edge of her mirror and placed it on her head, lifting her chin to give herself a sexy model pout as she appraised the effect. Then she placed her hands on her hips and tried to decide what jewelry and shirt to wear with the light blue jeans and black bra she was currently sporting. Something casual and cool for her strut through the city this Saturday afternoon. She was in a good mood and she wanted to spend it outside of the unnatural disaster that had become her apartment.
"And now, rising up three spots from number seven on the charts," the DJ's energetic voice called out while she slid on a couple of rings and a silver bracelet, "here's the new one from Fool the World, called Now or Never..."
She paused in picking out a shirt and saw the reflection of her own eyes darken beneath the brim of her cap. She'd heard the song before, had fallen in love with it as soon as she heard it hit the airwaves. Still, the guitar riff froze her in her tracks. Jonny's voice started off slow and sweet, just before Nuke's drums filled the room, and Chase and Q's guitar licks laced over Gabriel's...
Through the mirror, back through time itself, she saw the girl she used to be on the bed behind her, jumping and singing along at the top of her lungs years before because their music had always made her feel the way she felt right now, like it was filling her up near to bursting. She'd fall onto the soft mattress to stare up at the ceiling, still belting out the lyrics, and she would dream about where he was, what he was doing. She would imagine the words they were singing were meant for her, because back then they could have been. Back then he always made his way back to her.
She smiled, wistful in spite of herself. Those had been good times, sweet times that reminded her of the dream-filled girl she used to be, and made her grateful for the woman who took her place. Things were picking up for everyone these days. Jackie and Ian were getting married in the spring, little Preston was talking and walking in preparation for being the cutest ring bearer ever, and Nicole had found a publisher for her first novel. Funny to think it had all started as a short story that Gabriel had encouraged her to follow through with after years of lying abandoned in a binder of old writing. And now it was a full-fledged story of love lost and found, of tying up loose ends once and for all, though in the most unexpected ways.
She closed her eyes and found herself nodding along, the music taking her away for a moment and raising goose bumps on her skin. She tried to rub them away, but they lingered just like his voice. She could hear him in the backup vocals like she was tuned into him, and it made her smile wider, made her feel a swell of pride for them, even if it was from afar. She'd always be their number one fan despite the way things ended. Even after everything that happened that night over a year ago, she'd always hold a special place in her heart for Gabe, for the guys, and for the magic they made with their music.
That didn't mean she didn't keep her distance, though. It had been a while since she'd talked to the guys, though she still kept tabs on their growing success. How could she not when they were every-fucking-where, all over the TV, the radio, YouTube? It was lucky for her she wasn't bitter, or it would have driven her crazy. They were gearing up for a headlining tour now that their new album was nearly finished. Maybe she should call and congratulate him —
them
, on the news.
She turned away from the mirror and headed to her dresser to pick out an old, ribbed, white tank top she loved. She'd tell Trish to pass on her congratulations for her. After all, she was still with Chase and they were going stronger than ever these days. Nicole was usually too busy hanging out with other friends to relay messages herself, and they wouldn’t be in town much longer anyway. No point in seeking them out and risk that awkward reminiscing thing old friends love to do.
She went to her closet and threw a gray vest on over her tank top to go with her jeans and black boots, grabbed her jacket, and checked herself in the full length mirror on her closet once more. It wasn't like she was avoiding them or anything. It was just that they didn't run in the same circles anymore. She and the guys were in two different worlds now. Trish — and the occasional call to Jackie and Ian from Gabriel — was the only real link between them. It wasn't animosity, just life and the things that kept you busy along the way. Like her apartment, for example.
She looked at all the boxes of her possessions steadily piling up on the floor as she prepared for her move to a bigger and better space. She really did have so much going on, too much. So when Trish invited her to hang with the guys a week ago when they came into town, she said she couldn’t and not because of the breakup. She was over all of that and so was he. Everything was just as it should be now. Smooth. All that hurt and longing, and everything that came after that night in her hotel room, was all in the past. It couldn't hold her back anymore.
Yet, the music... in the music they loved, the music he made, there was always a special link that didn't fade into the past like everything else. She found herself stuck in place as she gathered up her keys and purse. Everything she needed to leave was on her, but she couldn't go until the music released her. She could almost imagine it was Gabriel holding her there, his words and his voice calling out to her. She used to dream that was true during the darkest days after their breakup. She used to cry herself to sleep, hearing his voice, feeling his skin, and murmuring the words she believed were written just for her...
As the song swelled to a crescendo, she swallowed and smiled again. Definitely another hit, and she wouldn't expect less from them. From
him
. But she knew better now. It was just a song. He was just a guy she thought she loved like all the others before him. That story was over. She couldn't help but shake her head at it all, how much things had changed.
For the better.
The song faded, the last riff ringing like a bell tolling that the past was gone, that a new hour was starting, as fresh as this new phase in her life. The next song started, a smooth synth-pop beat she'd heard a million times on the radio this summer. The spell was broken, and she was headed out the door and into the burgeoning autumn coolness to greet a day of visiting the people in her life. And speaking of one, there was a beep from her phone that signaled she'd just received a text. She checked it and smiled at the message there.
Let me know when you're gonna be around. I'll come pick up those boxes after work. And what do you want for food?
The soft, sad smile she didn't realize was still on her lips broadened and her thoughts were brought back into the present. There was a lot to be excited about, like getting out of her little-ass apartment for starters, where she would never again have to greet Mrs. Habberdash and her yappy little dog. She texted back a quick response on her way to the elevator.
That Greek place maybe?
She stepped outside, breathed deep the smoky city air, and basked in the glow of the sun-drenched day before heading out to the corner to catch a cab.
It was really happening. Things were really looking up. She was an author now. No more retail hell, no more spending her weekends and weeknights peddling home décor for assholes. And no more feeling stagnant in the things that used to be staples of her old life, like her apartment. By this time next weekend, she'd have all of her things moved into her new place.
The one she'd be sharing with Travis as the new and improved, happier and saner Nicole Langley.
Yes, things had changed very much, she told herself.
And definitely for the better.
***
"Hi, this is Fool the World," Jonny said into his mic, giving the camera his best winning smile.
"...and you’re about to go behind the scenes of our music video for Now or Never," Nuke finished with the other mic.
Once the cameraman got enough footage of the band explaining the concept and introducing themselves, he gave them the thumbs up and they took a break before filming. Today was the last day of shooting, and when they were done here they had to cross town for another promotional gig at a radio station. Breaks were a luxury.
"Arrghhh, fuck!" Jonny said, stretching out his limbs with a boisterous yawn. "So tired…"
Chase grimaced and ran his fingers through his sandy hair, "Maybe you're tired because you were hoggin' the mic, Beyoncé."
Q laughed at that, then halted and twisted his head to the side. "Wait. Shouldn't I be Beyoncé? I mean, I am the pretty one," he said, giving the million-dollar grin that illustrated why he and Jonny were practically related. "And you know, I'm black and shit. If anybody should be Queen Bey…"
Nuke jerked a thumb at Jonny and said, "He's got the blond hair and the legs."
"Ah, good point," Q nodded in concession, to which Jonny laughed. “I’ll be Nicki Minaj then.”
Jonny grinned then started to open his mouth, but Gabriel held up a warning finger and snarled, "If I have to listen to ‘Feeling Myself’ one more time, I swear it'll be the last thing you fuckers ever sing alive." He retracted the finger into his fist and cracked his knuckles audibly in Q’s direction. His menacing glare was only partially a joke. "Just saying."
"You wouldn't sacrifice the future of the band, man," Jonny teased, throwing an arm over Gabriel's shoulder as they headed towards craft services.
"Please tempt me," Gabe drawled, "You're completely replaceable. I can sing and Q has a great voice, don't you Q?"
"Ooh, ooh, ooh, if you killed him, I'd get to sing “Tumble Down Girl”. That's my favorite. Heh."
This caused Jonny to disengage from Gabe and spin dramatically on Q.
"You're a fucking traitor, Ebony!"
Gabriel just rolled his eyes and grabbed a bottled water.
"Blow me, Ivory!"
"I'm fucking starving, I got a headache and I'm not in the mood to listen to your foreplay, so shut the fuck up!" Chase roared, which made everyone turn and throw sidelong glances over their shoulders at him. He was silent for a moment as his band mates assessed him with varying degrees of shock and amusement. Then he grumbled and broke off to a silent corner to use his phone.
"Trish," they all said in unison. Apparently they'd had another one of their lovers' spats. Gabriel wouldn't be surprised if Chase spent the rest of the evening whispering into his phone until he could escape to do damage control.
It seemed like ages ago and yet just yesterday that Gabriel was running off to some quiet spot to talk to his girl. Strange how things changed. Strange how he'd thrown himself into his work, and now that he'd come up for air, Fool the World was surpassing even his wildest expectations. Strange how everyone was sure they were going to be catapulted into a new stratosphere of success, and part of that was because he'd poured his heart into songs about the girl who got away...
Of course he didn't have time to dwell on any of that now. They had a new single to promote, a new video to finish, rehearsals, and interviews. They already had a hit single picking up momentum, and a popular video that was a mash-up of all their antics on tour mixed with live performances. Then there was their first headlining tour to prepare for. There were still plenty of things to get lost in as far as work was concerned, which made him glad he wasn't in Chase's shoes. The last thing he wanted was to be hung up over some girl.
Most of the time anyway.
It didn't happen often these days. Maybe it was because he'd purged all his angst and passion into his music. Maybe it was because breakups were natural, moving on even more so. Still, every once in a while his mind drifted back to Nicole. Like when he looked at the production assistant in the studio they were in, and saw her skin was similar to that soft earthy glow his fingers used to be addicted to. Or when he'd walk down the street and see a college girl in a cute little skirt, laughing with her friends the way Nic used to when they were together with their group.
That was all done now. She'd said he was just a friend, but in the end, Travis was the guy Nicole turned to. Last he heard from Jackie, they were dating pretty steadily, which was okay with him. He'd dated here and there himself, but no one serious had crossed his path in some time. A little over a year’s worth of time to be exact...
He looked down and reached into his pocket, his thoughts interrupted by his ringing phone. He smiled at the number and stepped off to the side, out of the residual glare of the set lights and away from the background chatter of the crew and the guys.