Minus Me (20 page)

Tommy just nods, before picking up the bottles and taking them over to the bottle bank. Then he winks at Linda as he walks back past her and out into the night, which will soon turn to morning.

Chapter 41

Zak is sitting on a crate outside the petrol station, leaning against the wall. Linda goes and sits next to him. He opens his eyes and smiles.

‘Everything okay?’

‘I suppose. Did you sleep?’

‘Meditated. You’re looking very thoughtful. What’s up?’

‘Oh, nothing . . . or, rather, I don’t quite know yet. There won’t be any buses from here at this time of night. But do you think we’ll get a lift?’

‘In five minutes,’ says Zak, leaning back and closing his eyes again.

‘How do you know that?’

‘I don’t know it, I just believe it,’ says Zak smiling.

Linda feels quite awake now that she’s eaten. She leans forward with her elbows resting on her knees and scans the horizon for cars. Soon a van turns into the petrol station forecourt, but it’s only a guy delivering some stacks of newspapers. Linda barely manages to get to her feet before the van races off again.

‘Relax,’ says Zak, without opening his eyes.

She closes her eyes and tries to sit calmly like him. She counts to ten and then back to zero, trying to breathe in time with her counting and let her thoughts drift, the way Zak taught her on the train. But it’s difficult, especially when she’s feeling so cold. But she tries.

‘What did I say?’ says Zak suddenly, poking her.

A lorry has driven into the forecourt, and a little guy wearing heavy clogs and baggy jeans jumps down from the cab. He disappears into the petrol station and through the window they see him ordering a hotdog.

‘Do you think he’s going south?’ asks Linda.

‘Well, he was driving from the north,’ says Zak.

With a hotdog in one hand, the morning paper under his arm and a Coke stuffed in his back pocket, the lorry driver comes back out of the shop.

‘Hey! Joe!’ shouts Linda, smiling as she walks towards him.

He stops, looking confused.

‘If that’s your name . . . I saw it up there on your lorry,’ Linda says, pointing up at the sign that says Joe Nilsen.

The lorry driver looks up at his cab, before nodding and wiping his mouth with a serviette.

‘You want something?’

‘Are you driving south?’

‘I’m driving home to Haugesund.’

‘Is it possible to hitch a ride?’

‘Aren’t you a bit young to be hitch-hiking?’ asks Joe, before stuffing the rest of his hotdog into his mouth.

‘I’m with Zak. He’s . . . my big brother,’ says Linda, smiling as innocently as she can.

‘Still, hitch-hiking can be dangerous. What if you took a ride with someone bad?’

Zak gets up from his crate. He goes over to Joe and offers him his hand.

‘I’m Zak. Lucky for us, then, that we found a nice guy like you.’

‘Right,’ says Joe, shaking Zak’s hand.

‘You see, Joe, we’re on the way to see our grandmother, and we’ve lost all our money. So it would be perfect if we could come with you.’

Zak’s certainly a good liar, thinks Linda.

‘Yes, and our parents are away in Spain, and since it’s the first time they’ve been on holiday without us, we don’t want to worry them by ringing them,’ says Linda, hoping that Joe doesn’t point out that it’s the middle of the night.

‘Well, as I was saying, I’m on my way home to Haugesund. You can come as far as that, at least.’

‘Brilliant!’ says Linda.

Joe unlocks the cab and opens the door on the passenger’s side. Linda clambers in first and Zak follows. The driver’s cab is covered with pictures of a woman with blonde hair. There’s even a picture of her on the well-worn thermos cup on the dashboard. There’s a picture on the calendar hanging next to the driver’s seat too, but of a woman with even blonder hair, and with a massive smile and huge boobs. Dolly Parton, it says in pink letters. Linda picks up all the CDs on the seat and puts them on the dashboard before sitting down. Joe opens the door on the driver’s side, throws in the newspaper followed by the Coke bottle, and then climbs in.

‘Who’s Dolly Parton?’ asks Linda.

‘She’s the queen of country,’ says Joe, fastening his safety belt.

‘I’ve never heard of her. Is she dead?’

‘No, she’s very much alive. Dolly Parton is a real classy lady, who sings about the most important thing in life,’ says Joe.

‘And what’s that?’

‘Love,’ says Joe, putting on some music.

As they turn out of the petrol station forecourt, Joe breaks into song with a falsetto voice: ‘I really got the feeling that I’ll love you for a long, long time.’ Linda nudges Zak and giggles quietly. But, if she’s honest, Joe hasn’t got such a bad voice, and Dolly Parton makes great motorway music. So Linda leans back and decides to enjoy the trip.

Linda must have fallen asleep again, because they’re soon driving onto the ferry from Kvandal to Utne. Joe switches off the engine, and asks what happened to the newspaper he bought.

‘I don’t know,’ says Linda.

‘Here it is,’ says Zak, passing it to him. ‘I had a look at it. There’s nothing interesting.’

‘It’s good to keep up with the news,’ says Joe, spreading the newspaper out. ‘Oh dear! War, murder, rising prices. You’re right, there’s nothing worth reading,’ Joe says, shaking his head with a sigh, and folding the paper up again.

Linda leans forward to look at the back page with the weather chart.

‘Well, at least it’s going to be nice weather here today,’ she says, pointing at it.

‘Well I never!’ says Joe. ‘A day without rain in these parts. Now that’s what I call good news!’

The ferry conductor bangs on the window and interrupts their philosophizing. Joe opens the lorry door. His pass pays for all three of them. Zak leans back in his seat and pretends to be asleep. But Linda feels awake again, and wants to talk. Dolly Parton is still singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ in the background, and her songs seem as perfect for the ferry ride as for a motorway drive.

‘That’s so lovely,’ says Linda, turning up the volume.

Joe doesn’t answer. He just let’s the music play for a time.

Suddenly Joe leans forward and turns the CD player off.

‘That’s the saddest song I know,’ he says, wiping his eyes.

‘Why?’

‘It reminds me of my Ingrid,’ says Joe, choking back tears, and then covering it up by knocking back the rest of his Coke. ‘Oh dear, I’d better go and buy a cup of coffee.’

‘No, stay. Tell me about Ingrid instead. Is she the one in all the pictures?’ asks Linda, resting a hand on Joe’s arm in the hope of making him stay.

‘Yes, that’s Ingrid,’ he says, putting the lid back on the empty plastic bottle. ‘Ingrid is the finest woman in the world, after Dolly Parton. And she was my lady, until that Swedish rat stole her from me. Ludvig. A doctor. What chance did I have against a doctor? When I was just a miserable midwife.’

‘Wow, are you really a midwife?’

‘That’s right. These hands have brought a thousand babies into this world. But after Ludvig came along and stole my Ingrid, I couldn’t hack it any more. So I got a lorry-driver’s permit, and now I’m a long-distance lorry driver.’

‘But perhaps you’ll meet someone else,’ says Linda encouragingly.

‘There’s no woman like Ingrid,’ says Joe, with a lump in his throat.

‘Perhaps it would be easier to get over her if you took all these pictures down, and played some other music, instead of that sentimental country rubbish,’ suggests Zak, who has suddenly come to life next to Linda.

‘I don’t know if I’ll ever get over her,’ says Joe.

‘Hmm,’ says Zak, leaning forward to switch the radio back on.

‘. . . a thirteen-year-old girl has been reported missing . . .’ Linda throws herself at the radio and changes the station.

‘. . . 
when the going gets tough, we’ll dance through the night, and I’ll hold you so tight, yeah, yeah, sweet baby, gotta live life . 
. .’

‘Listen, it’s some rock. This will cheer you up,’ says Linda.

The back gate of the ferry yawns open towards Utne. The dawn light is creeping into the sky. And as the lorry drives off the ferry onto the quay, the song from the radio almost screams about living life to the full. Yes, thinks Linda to herself, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.

Chapter 42

Joe flashes his lights and honks his horn to say goodbye, as he turns his lorry out of the slip road by the motorway. Linda and Zak wave goodbye too. They are alone again, this time on a scarily deserted stretch of road. But it was better to jump out close to Aksdal rather than going all the way to Haugesund. Now that Linda’s disappearance is being broadcast on the radio, it’s best to stay away from any towns. It was lucky Joe didn’t notice. Joe offered to drop them off in the middle of Aksdal, and they’d thanked him, but said no. They’re too close to their goal to risk being stopped now. In fact they ought to be careful about hitch-hiking and taking buses too. Joe pointed out the direction they need to go.

‘I suppose we’d better start walking,’ says Zak, when Joe has turned the corner.

‘This is a hopeless project,’ Linda sighs. ‘Besides, I’m shattered. Can’t we find somewhere to sleep for a while?’

‘Sure, but at least let’s start to walk in the right direction. Come on, I’ll give you a piggyback.’

‘Are you sure you can manage?’

‘Yes, for a while anyway. I’m stronger than I look.’

Linda jumps up onto his back, and he starts to walk. They’ll never get there at this rate. She sighs, though she’s decided not to moan.

‘Something the matter?’ asks Zak.

‘No. It’s not as cold as it was,’ she says, trying to sound optimistic.

‘Well, we’re heading for the spring.’

‘What a lovely thought,’ says Linda, resting her cheek upon Zak’s shoulder. ‘We’re heading for the spring.’

Linda closes her eyes and feels the sun warming her face. Not a lot, but it helps. Just as every step brings her a little closer to her goal.

Zak stops and lets Linda down from his back. They’ve come to a little farm that looks uninhabited. There’s a red barn at the side of the road. Trustingly, it’s been left open. The latch just has to be lifted, and anyone can walk in. So that’s what they do. The air is dry and smells of hay, and there’s just enough for a little bed. Linda walks over and lets herself collapse into it.

‘Oh, how amazing,’ she says.

‘Are you cold?’ asks Zak, kneeling down beside her. ‘Let me tuck you in.’

He piles hay on top of her, so that she’s lying cosily in a little nest.

‘Thank you,’ she says. ‘And thank you for coming.’

‘It’s nothing. I had to come down south anyway,’ he answers.

‘Do you think we’ll get there?’

‘Of course,’ he says.

‘Will you guess when, again?’

‘No, because we’re so close. What could stop us?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.’

‘I am right. Now stop worrying.’

‘Aren’t you going to take a little rest too?’ asks Linda, realizing that she’s more asleep than awake.

‘No. I think I’ll take a look around. Something might turn up that can get us there in the blink of an eye. What would be the most amazing thing that could happen now?’

‘If we suddenly found a car,’ says Linda, laughing. ‘Will you hold my hand until I fall asleep?’

‘Of course,’ says Zak. He settles next to her and gives her his hand.

‘Hey, you’re so cold.’

‘It’s still February,’ he says, giving her hand a gentle kiss.

Chapter 43

Linda dreams. The dream takes her back in time and to the south coast. The summer holidays are over, and the car has been packed for the return journey back up north to Trondheim. Axel has come to say goodbye. He is sitting on his bike with one foot on the pedal and the other on the ground. He lifts his hand to her face, and is about to say something. But just as he opens his mouth, Linda is sucked out of the picture. Her body is whisked forward in time, and suddenly she is on the wall of the Nidaros Cathedral. She is scrambling up it with her bare hands and feet. She is like a spider, and the wall is much higher than she remembered. When she looks down, a huge chasm opens up below her. It is filled with flames and smoke. She hears screams and realizes that it’s hell. If she loses her foothold now she’ll be doomed. The thought barely enters her mind when she slips and falls. But somebody grabs her. It is Zak. He looks deep into her eyes. Linda can see the flames of hell reflected in his pupils, as he drags her to safety. Then her body is sucked back to the scene with Axel, and she’s sitting in the car again. But this time the car is already driving away. She sees her hand pressed up against the back window, and hears herself whisper: I’ll miss you too.

Words that have been said too late to be heard. She turns to face forwards, and sees the backs of her parents’ heads. They are sitting in the front, talking to each other. Linda feels somehow that they’re not sitting in the same car. And perhaps they aren’t. She opens the back passenger door and steps out of the car while it’s moving. Her parents don’t even notice. The car just drives on with the back door swinging. They don’t even seem to have noticed. They just race off to get to the ferry on time. They reach the ferry, and only as it leaves the quayside with them on board do they see that the back seat of the car is empty. Her mother screams. Screams, and tears open the door. Stumbles across the deck and runs to the stern. But however loud she screams, however hard she grabs the ticket man and shouts that they can’t just leave their daughter behind, the ferry does not turn back. Then blood starts to flow from under her mother’s summer dress. Streams of blood run down her thighs and calves. She grabs her stomach.