Mirrored Time (A Time Archivist Novel Book 1) (19 page)

CHAPT
ER TWENTY-FOUR

G
WEN ENTERED THE
Archives with a laugh, shaking her head at Rafe. Both Max and Alistair looked up at her arrival. It was Alistair who drew her attention. His calm gray eyes were dark with emotion.

She paused in the middle of the room so abruptly that Rafe bumped into the back of her. “Everything all right?”

Alistair stared at her before nodding, clearing his throat with a cough. “Yes, fine. While you were procuring lunch—”

Rafe laughed in her ear. “Sometimes he sounds like he swallowed a dictionary.”

Alistair gave him an impatient look, although he didn’t stop speaking. “—Max and I were discussing the options available to us. We believe we may have come across a possible solution. Perhaps we can discuss it over lunch and—”

A cheery chime interrupted him, and Alistair paused, a bemused expression on his face.

“Oh.” Gwen smiled an apology. “Sorry.” Grabbing her phone from her purse, she pressed a button to silence it and looked at the screen. Louisa was calling. “Sorry. If I could take this?” She ducked into her small office and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

There was a long pause on the other end before Louisa spoke. Her voice was scratchy and punctuated with soft hiccupping sobs. “Gwen, I …”

Gwen’s stomach plummeted, and she stared at the wall in front of her with unseeing eyes.
No, no, no.
“Is everything okay?” Her voice was shaky.

“Oh, honey, I’m so very sorry.”

“I just saw her. She was doing better.” Gwen’s voice broke. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” It was whispered more to the empty room than to the woman on the other end of the phone. “Say it. Louisa, I need you to say it.” Her voice sounded far away, like she was hearing it from the other side of a long tunnel.

“Oh, Gwen.” A sniffling sob. “Maggie, she’s … she’s gone.” Louisa’s voice cracked.

There was a rushing in her ears, and she couldn’t hear herself speak. “Thank you for telling me.” With fingers gone cold, she clicked the end call button, staring at her phone with a blank curiosity.

Strange something so innocent could be the bearer of such horrible news. She refused to think of that. She sat in her chair, fingers spread out on the top of her desk to prevent them from shaking. Maybe if she focused on not moving, it wouldn’t be true. Rafe popped his head in her small office and his smile died on his face.

“Gwen?”

The rushing in her head got louder, and she pressed her palms harder onto the desktop. Her knuckles went white with the pressure.
Focus, focus, don’t move.

“Are you …. Is everything okay?”

Maybe if you focus hard enough, it won’t be true. Maybe you can freeze time. Maybe you can … Time.
She sprang to her feet with a harsh gasp, and Rafe dodged as the office chair came rocketing back towards him. Trying to leave the office, she didn’t understand what was preventing her until she saw Rafe’s tight grip on her arm.

“Gwen, what is it?”

Refusing to look at him, she stared over his shoulder. Alistair and Max stood behind him, watching her with worried eyes. Trying to move again, she looked down at Rafe’s hand. “Maggie … Maggie’s …” She couldn’t think of the right words to say. Didn’t think there would ever be the right words to say. “I have to go.” Hunching her shoulders, she tried to curl herself away from Rafe’s unrelenting grip.

Without a thought, her hand wrapped around her necklace. The charms felt ice cold in her hands, but when her fingers curled around the compass, the smooth metal was burning. Her thoughts felt sluggish. Then it clicked.

She could say goodbye. Even as she thought it, a bigger idea sprang up in her mind. Going back and saying goodbye would make it worse. She didn’t want to remember Maggie sick—too thin, too tired, with dark circles under her bright eyes. Sickness had stripped all the vibrancy from Maggie. Gwen refused to let the cursed illness be all she remembered of her aunt.

And it hit her. She could go back; she must go back—before the cancer came back, before the cancer even came the first time. She could go back and find Maggie when she was whole, when the shadow of sickness hadn’t clouded her life. She forgot everything she had been told about not being able to change the past. Her mind was focused on one thing.
I can save
her.

Realizing Rafe was talking. She tried to focus on his words.

“Sorry, Gwen. I know she meant—”

She tuned him out. Sympathy wasn’t what she needed right now. He had loosened his grip, and she pretended to look through the papers on her desk, nodding her head even though she wasn’t listening to his words.

She thought of Maggie. Maggie when she was strong. Maggie when she was young. She had seen pictures of her aunt when she was in her twenties, happy and laughing—pictures of her in a park where she used to sell the jewelry she made.

Closing her eyes, she imagined every detail she could think of. Her full mane of red hair, her hazel eyes flashing with laughter, her tan arms waving with energy. The compass grew warmer as her aunt’s name became a chant in her head. When she felt Rafe’s hand slip from her arm, she almost sobbed in relief.

Clasping her other hand around the compass, she focused with every fiber of her being on her aunt. When the edges of her vision started to go black, she accepted the sickening feeling of traveling the streams with relish.

Such was her focus, she didn’t care when Rafe realized what she was doing. Didn’t care when, with a harsh curse, he lunged for her. The one thing she let herself care about, think about, was Maggie. And then everything faded away.

The bright sun was piercing and much warmer than the pale winter sun she had left. Around her, the park was vibrant with the green of summer. Any other time, she would have been in awe of the power she had found in the Archives. Now, she was too single-minded with her purpose.

She stood hidden from view behind a tall tree. In front of her, a farmer’s market had been set up. Her heart stuttered in her throat when she saw Maggie.

Tears welling in her eyes, she watched her aunt. She was so young, laughing and joking with the potential customers surrounding her stall. The sun glistened off her bright hair, burnishing it from red to gold as she tossed her head. Everything about her aunt made Gwen’s heart ache with love. She would do anything to keep this woman alive.

She started forward and was stopped when an arm wrapped around her waist, another covering her mouth to muffle her scream. Fighting to escape, she kicked her legs against the strong grip. Her body froze when she heard Rafe’s voice.

“Gwen.” He sounded tired. “Stop.”

Putting her down, he forced her chin up so her gaze met his. His eyes burned with understanding, and the emotion she found there had her glancing away.

“Is this the part where you tell me it’s all going to be okay?”

“No, because it will never be okay.” He hesitated before continuing. “This is the part where I tell you I’m here when you need me to be.

Her heart jolted in her chest, but she ignored his words.
For now.
“Please.” She hated how weak her voice sounded, hated she was begging. If pride was what she must sacrifice, she would do it in a heartbeat. “Let me save her.”

“You know you can’t.”

She shook her head, jaw clenched against a sob threatening to erupt from her throat.

“I’m sorry, you can’t.”

She shoved at him with all her weight, growling with frustration when he didn’t move. “Who are you to say so?” Her voice was loud. “She’s here. She’s alive! I can save her. I can …” Her voice faltered. She continued to push at him until her arms tired, and then she rested her head on his chest, her shoulders heaving.

“What would you tell her? You know you can’t change what happened. So what would you tell her now, Gwen? The hour of her death?” His voice was harsh as he continued. “Is that what you want for her? For her to spend her life with the tick of the clock in her ears? To know when and how her life will end?” He gave her a rough shake. “Believe me, Gwen, she won’t thank you for it. Instead, she will hate you for it.”

She shoved off his grip, glaring as she swiped at the tears falling from her eyes. “You don’t understand! I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye!”

He glared back. “Don’t I? I’ve been playing this game far longer than you can ever imagine. You think you’re the only one who has ever lost someone they love?”

“What’s the point, then?” She flung out a hand. “What’s the point of having this power if we can’t do anything? What is the point of weaving through time if everyone we love dies anyway?” Exhausted, her hand dropped to her side.

She thought he would argue with her, but his shoulders drooped.

“I don’t know.” He sounded as hopeless as she felt.

“I have to try. Even if it’s against everything you’ve told me, I have to.” She backed away, her focus on the red-haired woman behind her.

He made no effort to stop her.

She took one step and another and then another, until she had left the shelter of the trees and the sun warmed her chilled body, forcing herself to continue with a plan that she already knew would fail.

As she walked, she tried to smooth her hair and clothes, rubbing at her face in hopes of hiding the marks of her tears. What would she say exactly? She thought of her aunt, the laughter, the tears, the good times and the bad. Did she want to burden this laughing, carefree spirit in front of her? And Rafe was right. She wanted to damn every part of him for being so, but he was right.

This was a fool’s errand from the beginning. In her selfish pain, she had thought she would be able to break every rule she had been taught. She stopped moving, shoulders heaving in a soul weary sigh. She didn’t have the power to change time. Her gaze roamed her surroundings. Maybe it was a good thing if she was this quick to be willing to risk everything.

She stood in the sun and closed her eyes, giving little notice to the people milling around in front of her. The pain was still overwhelming. Although, now she could think, and she doubted her aunt would have wanted her to save her.

Maggie had always lived with a quiet grace, finding laughter even in the darkest of times. Her aunt told her of the full life she had lived, of the adventures she had experienced. Gwen knew she couldn’t dampen her life with the knowledge of her death. She turned to leave and froze when she met the gaze of a pair of bright hazel eyes.

“Hello.” Maggie must have seen the tear-stained girl standing alone in the middle of the crowd. “Can I help you?”

Her voice was so kind and so familiar Gwen unconsciously moved forward. Nervous, she ran her fingers over the displayed jewelry, focusing on the shining metal instead of the woman she had so wanted to see. “Beautiful jewelry.”

“Thanks, I like to think so.” There was the slightest of pauses. “Pick one.”

Gwen’s gaze rose to Maggie’s face. The redhead was smiling across at her.

“Pick one. You look like you could use a little pick-me-up.” She waved at the glistening pieces. “Go ahead. Which do you like?”

“Oh, I couldn’t. I’m sorry.” Her voice came out in a stutter.

Maggie’s thin, graceful fingers wrapped around her arm, preventing her from running away. “Nonsense. Here.” She grabbed a beautiful bracelet of silver and turquoise, the design a Celtic knot. “This one.” She slid the bracelet around Gwen’s wrist and smiled as she released her arm. “Perfect.”

Gwen stared at the bracelet, willing herself not to cry. “Thank you.”

Maggie looked thoughtful. A would-be customer behind Gwen tried to get her attention. Maggie held up a finger, focusing still on Gwen. “I hope whatever hurt you’re facing heals quickly. It helps when you have people around you who care about you.” She titled her head, and Gwen turned to see Maggie was talking about Rafe, who stood off in the distance, keeping guard.

“Oh … He … I …” Gwen trailed off, not sure what to say.

Maggie’s eyes crinkled in a smile. “Perfect.” She repeated again with a laugh. “Trust can be hard. Just remember, it’s always worth it.”

Gwen stared into Maggie’s kind eyes, and with every fiber of her being she wanted to tell her who she was. She wanted this woman to be the woman she would become and make everything better like she always had before. Instead, she smiled and took a tiny step back from the stall. She touched her hand to the bracelet. “Thank you so much.”
For
everything.

Maggie smiled. Gwen could tell she was distracted by the impatience radiating off the woman next to her. “You’re welcome. Good-bye.” With one last smile, she turned her attention to the less than patient customer.

Gwen stood still, before turning to walk back to Rafe. “Good-bye.” Her whisper was lost in the crowd. It would have to do.
I’ll miss you. Forever.

Rafe wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her back to the grouping of trees.

“I’m sorry.”

He hushed her and didn’t talk again until they were concealed in the woods. “Come on.” He pulled her tighter to him, and the park disappeared into black.