Authors: Kathryn Kelly,Crystal Cuffley
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Fiction, #New Adult & College
“I’m sure he won’t come back until I’m not here,” Meggie retorted, her belly hurting at the mere thought. Yes, she needed him but she wanted him, too. She loved the way his eyes lit up on the rare occasions he laughed. He stood head and shoulders above all the others and drew attention wherever he went. Beneath the big bad biker, he w
as human and vulnerable, so many things wrapped in one package, some bad, some good, but all him. “As soon as I can find somewhere to go, I’ll be out of here.”
“He needs you. I shouldn’t have said anything to either of you. It’s just when Rack called—“
“
Rack?
Rack calls here?”
“Yes. Every now and then. He…lets me know—“
“It doesn’t matter what he lets you know,” Meggie interrupted, everything else forgotten. “Rack beat the crap out of me and—“ She stopped to draw in a deep breath and calm her racing nerves. Despite the shock on Patricia’s face, she explained everything, including about the day of Christopher’s shooting and her confrontation with Rack. “So you really shouldn’t talk to that idiot. Christopher will be furious.”
Patricia covered her face with her hands and shook her head, seeming dazed by all that Meggie had explained to her.
“Don’t tell my son. Please?” she whispered. “I knew none of this.”
“Of course not. Because Rack is a mean
rhinoceros and wouldn’t tell you the entire story. What did he say for you to have words with your own son?”
“It’s complicated. More than you’ll ever know. Most of it I know nothing of. Club business.”
“Well, what do you know? What was so bad you confronted him?”
Patricia gazed off into the distance and Meggie thought she wouldn’t answer, then she said in a voice so low, Meggie strained to hear. “I loved my girls’ father. He was killed. Left me with a houseful of young children. I never thought I’d love anyone again. Then…then I met someone. A man amongst men.
That’s what everyone always said about him and, once I got to know him, I couldn’t have agreed more. He was a man amongst men.” She shook her head as if forcing herself out of a trance. “Then he…he left…and my h-heart has been broken ever since. Rack was friends with this man—“
“If Rack knew him, then Christopher must have, too. If you need to talk about your grief, talk to Christopher. Talk to the moon.
Talk to Jesus
. Just
do not, DO NOT,
talk to Rack.”
Laughter bubbled from
Patricia and Meggie chuckled, too. “Talk to Jesus, Megan?” she said with raised eyebrows.
“
You get the point, Patricia,” Megan retorted, still smiling.
“I do. But Christopher doesn’t know…about me…and this man. Only Rack.” She stared at her hands, spread her fingers. “I’m hurting, deep in my heart. I’m hurting. I just want to hear his voice one last time.”
Meggie popped to her feet and ran to where Patricia sat, looking so lost and alone. Her heart broke for her. She wrapped her arms around Patricia, cradling her against her breast and rubbing her hair, blocking out images of her and Dinah in a similar pose. After a minute, Patricia hugged Meggie back and they remained that way for long moments before Patricia pulled back and Meggie did, too.
“Promise me, you won’t ever tell Christopher about this. It’ll hurt him for a lot of reasons.”
Megan nodded. “Would you promise me you won’t talk to Rack? He’s bad news.”
Patricia smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, child. That I can’t do. He’s the only link I have to the man I lost.”
She drew herself up. “He’s loyal to a fault, to the Club especially. As his president, he’ll be loyal to Christopher. I’d stake my life on it.”
For the next
two weeks, Johnnie was Meggie’s constant companion. Other than that one, heated kiss, he was a perfect gentleman to her. They picked out a Christmas tree and decorated it with Patricia’s help. He took her to the lighthouses, drove her around to different shops and stores. When she protested because Christopher had already taken her shopping, he insisted, pointing out the need for stocking stuffers and gifts beneath the tree here since she’d only brought the gifts she’d purchased for Christopher and Patricia.
She tried to put her heart into it, but she missed Christopher
more with each passing day. It hurt that he hadn’t called her once. After the first week, she stopped calling him, too, because it was clear he wouldn’t return her calls. He’d dropped her off and forgotten about her as if he couldn’t get rid of her fast enough. She and Patricia reached a turning point, although sometimes she’d catch the woman staring at her and Meggie would glimpse undecipherable emotions. Then, her face would clear and all would be well again.
Ten days
before Christmas, Johnnie convinced her to go to the movies and dinner with him. Now, she sat across from him in a quiet corner in the restaurant. Festive décor gave the place an enchanted feel, the individual lamps and cordoned off spot lending a sense of romance.
She pushed her salad greens around on her plate and listened half-heartedly to Johnnie’s conversation. It took her a moment to realize he’d stopped talking. She raised her gaze to his.
“The elves won’t leave you anything. They want good cheer, Megs.”
Meggie sighed and laid her fork aside.
“I’m sorry I’m not good company. You’ve been so kind, too.”
He smiled. “I get that you’re lonely,” he said quietly. “There’s no remedy for a broken heart except time. I really thought he’d realize what he was doing and stay away a day, two at most.
” He thrust his fingers through his hair, agitated. “But his leaving…there are things…he’s trying to protect you."
“He never promised me anything, so I’m fine. I’ve survived worse.” She blinked away tears, the truth bitter in her throat. He hadn’t even promised th
ey’d spend Christmas together. Judging by all the plans they’d made, she’d just assumed they would.
They fell into silence as the rest of the meal was served. Meggie declined dessert, grateful that Johnnie did the same. She kept her head turned toward the window on the drive back to
Patricia’s house. However, she swiveled her gaze to Johnnie when, after turning on the private road, he stopped at the second house instead of continuing on to the end.
“
My house,” he clarified. “Spend the night with me,” he urged softly.
In the dark night, shadows hid Johnnie’s expressions, although desire hummed in his low tone.
“Just because Christopher is sleeping with other women doesn’t mean I have to do the same.”
A flash of white, the showing of his teeth, as he smiled. “No,” he murmured. “And you wouldn’t be doing the same. The last time I checked I’m a man, not a woman.”
Meggie scowled. “You know what I mean!”
“I do, Megs,” he
said with a sigh, all humor gone.
Meggie studied her clasped hands where they rested on her lap. She liked Johnnie and she was more aware of him than she should’ve been. But the thought of getting naked in front of him,
while allowing him the liberties to do all the things to her body Christopher had done, disconcerted her. Though Johnnie had been nothing but sweet and kind, an utter gentleman, a shoulder to lean on, a friend to confide in, she still felt a certain loyalty to Christopher. In the dark of night, she’d touch herself, hearing the deep rumble of Christopher’s voice in her head as he made love to her, imagine the feel of his big hands all over her body, his work-roughened fingers and palms caressing her sensitive skin. She’d come, always with the thought of Christopher, never of his sexy cousin. That had to say something. She shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Do you think Outlaw is al
one?” he asked. His voice held no malice, just curiosity.
She shook her head
, the implication cutting through her. “No. I-I guess he’s with Kiera. And Ellen,” she added after a brief pause.
He unhooked his seatbelt and caressed her cheek. “Outlaw…Christopher
,” he amended, “has a deep-seated sense of decency toward the innocent, Megan.”
He got out of the
car and came around to her side, opening her door for her and holding his hand out. She accepted it and stepped down. The night was clear and mild, the sky black velvet with glittering stars.
He bent his head and took a slow, leisurely kiss from her. His lips were gentle and coaxing, sipping from her mouth when his tongue found hers
, completely different from their first kiss. He tasted of wine and smelled faintly of aftershave. Meggie stood on her tiptoes and leaned further into the kiss. He drew her closer and pressed his throbbing erection into her belly.
She pulled her mou
th away and turned her head.
“Megs,” he murmured huskily, then nipped her ear. “I want you. I swear Christopher will never know if you two work things out. I’m lonely. You’re lonely. Why shouldn’t we make love and find comfort in each other?”
“Because there should be real feelings involved,” she blurted. She stilled, wishing she could kick herself since they both knew Christopher didn’t have real feelings for her. Bracing herself for Johnnie’s mockery, she tensed. “Besides, I’m not one of the club girls to sleep with whoever wants me at any particular moment.”
“Of course you aren’
t,” he snapped. “None of us see you that way.”
“It doesn’t matter how you all see me, but it matters how I see myself.”
“Megan—“
“Anyway, I’m not on any sort of birth control,” she admitted in a small voice
. She was beginning to fear Christopher had left his baby inside of her.
Johnnie paused and she felt the weight of his gaze on her. “Condoms work.”
Meggie refused to say anything more. “I can walk to Patricia’s house.” She ducked under his arm and around his body, refusing to acknowledge her achy nipples and wet sex.
He caught up to her but she didn’t slow her stride. He adjusted his steps to her shorter
pace. “Why are you lonely?” she asked after a few minutes of walking in silence.
“My girlfriend decided to marry someone else.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, meaning it. “That must’ve been devastating.”
“It was,” he agreed. “But I wanted her happy. I left the club to make her happy. In the long run, we weren’t right for each other.
”
“It’s hard to imagine you not being right for someone.”
His teeth flashed again. “That so?” he asked, smug. “That means I’m right for you?”
“I walked right i
nto that, didn’t I?” She chuckled.
“I’m afraid you did.”
A few moments later, they reached the porch. She opened the door since Patricia didn’t believe in locking anything and turned to Johnnie. With the porch light on, she saw his beautiful gray eyes and handsome face. He kissed her again.
“Invite me in. There are other ways to give each other pleasure. I don’t have to penetrate you.”
Patricia had already retired and the house was quiet. Emptiness loomed and the temptation to give in to Johnnie almost overwhelmed her. He wanted to use his tongue on her and Christopher had taught her how to enjoy that. What would it hurt?
“Licking your pussy isn’t the same as putting my dick in you,” he said, nuzzling her neck.
Meggie pressed her hand to her belly. If Christopher’s baby grew inside of her, she couldn’t give herself to anyone else. They’d become lovers about a month ago and she was growing more and more anxious waiting for her period.
Johnnie
licked her ear and Meggie gasped. “You smell so fucking good,” he rumbled. “And I want you so fucking bad, Megan.”
“Y-you promised,” she murmured in an unsteady voice.
“I know but you’re so fucking gorgeous and, tonight, fuck…tonight, Megan. In that little red lace dress.”
He looked
like temptation himself wearing a tan Henley, camouflage chinos, and black leather jacket, left casually open.
“Baby, I swear,” he said, clasping her waist, “I swear, I’ll make you come so many times.” His thumb flickered over her sensitive nipple. “Let me come to you
r room.” He kissed her throat. “Lay you on your bed.” A lick to the pulse point at her neck. “Shove your dress above your waist.” He brushed her lips with his mouth, teased her nipple again. “Spread your pussy open.” He sucked her bottom lip and she moaned. “Taste your clit with the tip of my tongue.” Covering her nipple with his mouth, he suckled, hard, the wet heat of his tongue sparking fire in her, even though her dress still covered her breast. He bit the hardened tip and Meggie cried out, stars exploding behind her eyes, her body weaker than her intentions.