Miss Chopsticks (26 page)

Money can buy a bed, but it can't buy good sleep.
Money can buy a house, but it can't buy a home.
Money can buy food, but it can't buy flavour,
Money can buy a gym, but it can't buy health,
Money can be used for trade, but it can't buy friends,
Money can buy qualifications, but it can't buy ambition.

Six often asked Meng about the things she was learning. One day she asked her about jokes. ‘Why do people want to invent so many of them?' she wanted to know.

‘Because they like to laugh,' was Meng's first, casual response, but when she saw that Six wasn't satisfied with this answer, she elaborated. ‘Chinese people don't have much happiness to talk about. Their lives have been full of tears, troubles and bitterness, and their memories provide few opportunities to smile. Without salt, food has no flavour; without laughter, people are boring. If we
don't claw a few laughs out of our lives – even if those laughs are bitter chuckles, cold smirks, foolish giggles or idiot grins – then the great Chinese tradition of wit and wisdom will lie down and die. Laughter is like chopsticks. Without chopsticks the traditional Chinese way of life would be gone. The same goes for our sense of humour. Your father may say that his family line will end because he only has a handful of “chopsticks”, but chopsticks are essential to life.' Meng gave a sigh. ‘Actually, I don't think Chinese women have learned to laugh enough. It's a firmly held belief in our culture that a good woman does not laugh or cry – but, until we do so, we can't be truly good women.'

Six thought a lot about what Meng had said. She was full of admiration for the cleverness of her reasoning. But, if Meng was right, why was it that her parents and her teachers had always said, ‘Laughter is a sickness: when a man laughs he's playing the fool; when a woman laughs she's playing the strumpet'? Was it because village people were poor and city people rich? Or because they had different definitions of laughter? It seemed to Six that it was the latter. And perhaps those different definitions even made city people look completely different from village people, so that when you walked down the street in Nanjing, you could tell at a glance who had come from the broad avenues of the city and who from the muddy tracks of the country.

She wondered, too, about what Meng meant by a ‘truly good woman'. Her mother never laughed. Did this mean she wasn't ‘truly good'? People in the city seemed to have so many ideas about women that it was hard to know what to believe. She had read something in the visitors' notebook that had preoccupied her for days.

The Differences Between Male and Female Workers in the Eyes of the Boss

•  
When the boss sees a male subordinate with a family photo on the desk, the boss thinks, ‘Hmm
…
He must be a good, responsible man who takes care of his family.' When the boss sees a female subordinate with a family photo on her desk, the boss thinks, ‘Hmm
…
work isn't the most important thing in her life, no point in expecting her to put her heart into the company.'

•  
When the boss sees a male subordinate with an untidy desk, the boss thinks, ‘He's so industrious! Look, he doesn't even have time to tidy his desk.' When the boss sees a female subordinate with an untidy desk, the boss thinks, ‘Look at that! She's clearly got no organisational ability!'

•  
When the boss sees a male subordinate talking to his colleagues, the boss thinks, ‘He must be discussing recent business developments. That's the spirit!' When the boss sees a female subordinate talking to her colleagues, the boss thinks, ‘Humph, she's gossiping and finding fault again. Oh well, it's in women's nature to have long tongues.'

•  
When the boss sees that a male subordinate is about to get promoted by his manager, the boss thinks, ‘This man must have great potential.' When the boss sees that a female subordinate is about to get promoted by her manager, the boss thinks, ‘This woman must be having a thing with the director.'

•  
When the boss sees a male subordinate arrive late, the boss thinks, ‘Was he burning the midnight oil
again last night?' When the boss sees a female subordinate arrive late, the boss thinks, ‘Did her husband want it again last night? Or have they just
…'

•  
When the boss sees a male subordinate hand out wedding invitations, the boss thinks, ‘He'll be more responsible now. Let's give him a big red envelope of lucky money as a bonus to encourage him.' When the boss sees a female subordinate hand out wedding invitations the boss thinks, ‘Let's not make her red envelope too big. Soon she'll get herself pregnant, take two months' maternity leave, and end up quitting her job to look after the kid.'

•  
When the boss sees a male subordinate leave for a better job, the boss thinks, ‘Here's a man who understands how to make the most of a good opportunity. Too bad the company can't keep him.' When the boss sees a female subordinate leave for a better job, the boss thinks, ‘That's women for you – untrustworthy!'

Guess whether the boss is a man or a woman? Give me your answers please.

There were several answers written at the bottom of the page and Six saw that one of them was in Meng's handwriting. ‘Boss could be either!' Meng had written. ‘We say “poor women”, but the boss's opinions are often given to him by his wife …' Six wasn't sure she agreed. She wanted to add, ‘It's all men's fault! They did this to women', but she thought of a phrase a customer had just taught her – ‘Lack of forbearance in small matters spoils great plans' – so she kept her thoughts to herself.

The next time Six met up with Five, she told her what
Meng had said about only being a truly good woman if you knew how to laugh and cry. Five immediately took issue with this.

‘No one in our village says Three's a good woman, do they? But she never laughs or cries. In fact, they criticise her for being made of stone
because
she doesn't laugh or cry. No, it's women who have sons who are the truly good women!'

‘What about our mother then?' asked Six. ‘She can't have sons, but she's not a bad woman, is she?'

‘
We
may not think so, but everyone in the village does. Perhaps “good” or “bad” depends on where you are,' said Five, sagely. ‘I know that everyone in the village thinks I'm stupid. Think what our mother says about me: “Three may not have woken up to her female nature, but Five hasn't woken up to anything at all”! But at the Dragon Water-Culture Centre they say I've got a miracle talent. Even the section heads, who've never admitted that country people are good for anything, say I'm a clever girl with my Four Orifices wide open …'

‘Seven Orifices,' Six corrected her. ‘It should be seven: two ears, two eyes, two nostrils and a mouth.'

‘No, four,' insisted Five. ‘Two nostrils, and one ear and eye. The Dragon Water-Culture Centre people say I can only get the other ear and eye and my mouth once I've been to school and learned to read …'

Six burst out laughing. ‘They're very interesting, your Water people …'

‘What's so funny?' said Five, crossly. ‘How many people can even use four Orifices properly? If the streets were full of such people, why didn't they find anyone to check the water and the medicine before me? Even Auntie Wang has to use a thermometer! Six, d'you think you've got more Orifices open than me? Come to the medicine pools and try your luck, you'll know that your Orifices can't beat mine …'

Six smiled. But when she got back to the teahouse that evening, her happiness was tinged with sadness. She knew that, every day, she was learning things that would take her further and further away from her sisters. And what about her mother – her best teacher of all? Could she leave her behind? Much as she rejoiced at her entry into the world she had dreamed of, at the same time she felt a sense of loss at her fading attachment to her home …

In the years to come, who would understand what Six had left behind? She was like a flower from the countryside that had caught the eye of a visiting artist. The painter, photographer or poet could transform that flower with their brush, camera or words; they could bring it to the city to be hung on the walls of high-class art galleries, or preserved and cherished in albums and books. People might admire that flower, but how many of them would truly appreciate the significance of its colours and the source of its fragrance?

One afternoon in January, Five was at the Pool of Tranquillity checking the water when Lin rushed in with a message. Five had stopped thinking of her as the Green Girl when she realised that Lin didn't always wear the same coloured clothes. After nearly a year, she was finally learning everyone's names.

‘Five,' called Lin, out of breath. ‘Manager Shui wants to see you! You must come at once.'

Five barely looked up from what she was doing. Since the autumn she had been the official Tester at the Dragon Water-Culture Centre and she took her duties seriously. Apart from Engineer Wu and Auntie Wang, there was no one else who could do her job, and the other staff had to wait for her say-so before using the pools. Now she was like her father, she thought: at home, nothing could happen without a ‘yes' from him. Not even her clever sisters had jobs where other people had to obey them. She imagined what it would be like when she returned to the village and everyone realised that her mother hadn't given birth to a foolish child after all. They would have to respect her mother after that.

‘Five!' urged Lin. ‘Hurry up, it's urgent. Leave the testing to Auntie Wang and the others.' She grabbed Five's uniform and pulled her up. ‘Come on, quick-fire.'

‘Fire!' shouted Five in alarm. ‘Is Manager Shui's office on fire?'

‘No, no, not a real fire … “Quick-fire” means … Oh, never mind. Come on!'

Lin took Five's arm and frogmarched her off to Manager Shui's office, without even giving her a chance to wash her hands.

When they arrived, Five was amazed to find Three talking to Manager Shui, who was sitting at the big desk in the outer office. It was weeks since she had seen her sister and she was struck by how pale she was.

‘Three, how did you get here? And why did you go straight to our Manager Shui without telling me you were coming?'

‘I can't explain properly, let them tell you,' said Three, looking anxiously at Manager Shui whose huge stomach wobbled as he swivelled round on his chair.

‘Now Five,' he said slowly. ‘You mustn't panic when you hear what I have to say. Just listen carefully and everything will become clear … Now, you have an uncle who works in the south, right?'

‘That's right,' said Five in surprise. ‘Uncle Two.'

‘Well, it seems your Uncle Two came to Nanjing yesterday on his way home to Anhui. Finding that it was late and not wishing to bother anyone, the good-hearted old man unfolded his quilt in the doorway of Mr Guan Buyu's office and settled down for the night. He had just gone to sleep when he was arrested by the police.'

Five felt herself go weak with shock. ‘The police have got Uncle Two?'

Manager Shui leant forward and signalled to her that she should sit down. ‘As I said, don't panic until I have explained everything. He was probably arrested on charges of loitering or being an unemployed vagrant …'

‘But that's not a serious offence, is it?' interrupted Three,
to the admiration of Five who didn't know what ‘charges' meant, let alone ‘offence'.

‘No, it's not a serious offence,' said Manager Shui calmly, ‘but it gets a lot of people into trouble. Since ancient times, we Chinese have never been allowed to move about the country freely. Even when visiting friends and relations we need permits and letters of introduction. If you wish to spend a long time in a place, you must register with the local officials – that's the Production Brigade or local government in the countryside, and the work unit or police station in the city. Since the Open Policy in the eighties, country people have been permitted to come to the city to work, but the paperwork has remained the same. The police usually turn a blind eye to these formalities, but when they find themselves at a loose end, or they're short of cash, they start picking up people for things like not having a letter of introduction, working illegally, or failure to abide by the hygiene regulations, etc … They'll find a problem even if nothing's the matter …'

Five was confused. Although she understood only half of what Manager Shui was saying, it seemed to her that he was implying the police were bad, and she couldn't understand how an upstanding citizen like him could criticise the police in this way.

‘Dad says the police are there to catch bad people …' she protested.

‘And indeed they are, Five,' said Manager Shui. ‘But despite their uniforms and big peaked caps, they're human too, and there are good people and bad people among them. It's like the powerful officials in the countryside: there are good ones and bad ones, right?'

‘Then are the policemen who got my Uncle Two bad?' Five asked.

‘I wouldn't go so far as to say that,' said Manager Shui, ‘but I suspect they've made a mistake in arresting your uncle …'

Three looked at Manager Shui in despair. ‘We're done for!' she moaned. ‘My boss is always saying that you have to have connections if you want to sort out problems like this. Connections mean you can go through the back door. They make big problems small, and small problems disappear. But, if you don't have connections, then no problem becomes a problem, small problems turn into big ones, and a big problem can be the end of you. What are my sisters and I to do without connections?'

‘Don't be alarmed,' said Manager Shui. ‘Perhaps it was better for your uncle to spend a night in a police cell than outside in the bitter cold.'