Miss Kane's Christmas (9 page)

“Yes, I can see how unbelievably happy you are here.” Jolly shook her head. “You’ve accomplished what your father wanted of you and now it’s time to go back.”

“That’s just it, Jolly. I haven’t accomplished anything.” Carol buried her face in her hands. Facing her father would be hard. Saying goodbye to Patrick and Hillary would be miserable. And knowing that she would never see Ben Hanson again was torture.

“We’ve had a miscommunication, I see,” Jolly said. “Because Santa told me this morning that your work here was done and I was to bring you home.”

Carol shook her head. She couldn’t feel more miserable that she’d let her father down. “He just said that because he knows I can’t do what he wanted me to.”

“He said that because Mr. Bah Humbug deleted his book and all of his notes from his hard drive last night. Right after you went to bed, from what I understand.”

Carol stared at her friend, hardly daring to hope she’d heard that right. “You mean it? Ben actually did that?”

Jolly nodded, a triumphant little smile on her face. “So it looks like you got under his skin as much as he got under yours. Now, let’s pack.”

“Wait, Jolly, I can’t leave now.” Carol stood, feeling suddenly invigorated by the news. “I have to at least stay for the party.” She just wanted the one evening to celebrate the holiday with Ben and the children. “Surely that’s not too much to ask?”

“Actually it is,” Jolly held up a hand. “Nick is so beyond enamored with Holly that he can barely focus. Your parents are working too hard. Bottom line, we need you. Children around the world need you.”

Carol shook her head and folded her arms across her chest in further protest. “These children need me here. I’m not leaving.”

Jolly groaned. “Your father warned me that you would be stubborn about this.”

“I belong here, Jolly.” The truth resonated in Carol’s heart as she said the words aloud. She belonged here. With the children. With Ben.

The elf massaged her temples and thought for a moment. “Okay, here’s your final offer. You stay for the party, enjoy the heck out of it, and then tonight we go home. Santa wants you home for Christmas.”

Carol’s mind raced through her options. If she stayed for the party tonight and left for the North Pole with Jolly right afterwards then she’d be home to help for Christmas Eve. The twenty-fourth was an all hands on deck situation at the North Pole. She was good at her job and she wanted to be a part of the magic before she came back here.

“Do we have a deal?” Jolly asked.

Carol nodded. “Yes, I’ll go home with you after the party.”

Jolly smiled. “Great. Hit the shower then and I’ll get you packed up.”

* * *

After showering and changing into a pair of black wool slacks and a black cashmere sweater, Carol ran lightly down the stairs. Hearing voices in the kitchen, she headed that way. But the sight that met her eyes upon entering the room caused her to stop short. In fact, it all but knocked the air out of her lungs.

“Hi Miss Kane!”

“Good morning Carol!”

She looked from Rapz to Hillary to Patrick and then back at Rapz. Her eyes widened even further as she surveyed the flour covered room. “What’s going on here?”

It was Rapz who answered first. “The children are learning to bake.”

Carol looked for an inch of counter space that wasn’t covered in flour but couldn’t find one. The mess, however, was less shocking than seeing the children happily making a disaster of the kitchen with one of Santa’s helpers.

Her two worlds had just collided.

“Today? Why today?” She shook her head. “Never mind. Where’s your father?” she asked. She needed to head Ben off at the pass.

“On the phone with a dog breeder,” Hillary supplied. “We told him that Santa would take care of the puppy but Daddy said he thought he should make some calls just in case.”

Rapz shook his head. “Personally, I’d let the Big Guy handle it.”

Carol pinched herself. No. It wasn’t a dream. Or a nightmare. Not yet.

She dashed into the hallway and hesitated, listening for Ben’s voice. She didn’t hear him but she saw that the front door was unlocked. Without bothering to grab a jacket, she stepped out onto the front porch.

When she closed the front door behind her, Ben spun around.

His smile made Carol’s heart soar. He held the telephone in his good hand. She grinned when she saw he was wearing the sling his mother had made for him.

“Good morning,” she said. “I heard you were trying to track down a puppy.”

He nodded sheepishly. “Not having much luck though.”

“Just leave it to Santa,” Carol said.

His smile faded. “Carol, please, we don’t have to pretend that Santa is real when the kids aren’t around, okay?”

Carol stared at him, confused. “So you haven’t changed your mind about Santa Claus?”

“Well, I have, in a way. And you’re to thank for that. After we spoke last night I realized how happy the children were believing in the Santa myth. I mean, they’re little for such a short amount of time, right? Why not let them indulge in a little harmless make believe?”

Harmless make believe. She shivered.

“Let’s get you inside, you’ll freeze out here.” Ben stepped around her and opened the front door, guiding her into the foyer with a gentle hand on her back. “There, that heat feels much better.”

Except that it didn’t. Carol felt numb. “What about your book?”

“I’m shelving it for now.”

“For now?” She’d been so very stupid to assume because he deleted his files that he had decided not to write his book.

He nodded. “You made me realize how much Hillary and Patrick need me to be actually present, and I’m not when I’m holed up in my study typing away. I still think Christmas is a crock and little better than a hoax, but this year I need to focus on my children. You’ve helped me see that.” He reached out to stroke her cheek with his fingertips. “Thank you. For everything.”

Carol couldn’t think of a thing to say. Fortunately Ben didn’t seem to expect her to because he wasn’t done.

“I know I asked you to leave last night. I’m sorry, Carol. I panicked.” He took her hand and lifted it to his lips. “You’ve changed everything around here. You’ve brought the kids such happiness and you’ve brought me,” he touched his heart, “hope.”

“Hope,” she repeated dully. His word choice was ironic considering that she felt utterly hopeless right now.

“I was hoping we could talk tonight, after the party. About us.”

“Us?”

He nodded, and ran his hand through his hair, suddenly looking slightly unsure of himself. “Yes, us. You. Me. Look, I don’t want you to go. Not tonight. Not, well, not ever. But we can take it as slowly as you’d like. Just promise you’ll cancel your flight tonight.”

She nodded, but only to make this painful conversation stop.

Ben smiled. “Good. Now we’d better get into the kitchen and see what kind of mess my kids and your friends from the mall are making.”

Friends from the mall? Oh, Jolly and Rapz. So he had seen them, and obviously he’d recognized Jolly, but he must have assumed they were actors playing Santa’s helpers. Just like he refused to believe her father was anything other than a retiree with a steady seasonal gig. She watched him walk into the kitchen. His willingness to ignore the obvious fact that there were two elves in his house was proof they belonged in two separate worlds.

Carol covered her face with her hands, willing away her tears. She’d get through the party for the children’s sake. She’d act like her father’s daughter and celebrate the season with a houseful of Ben’s neighbors and co-workers.

But she wasn’t going to cancel her flight. For when the evening was all over, and the house was clean and the children asleep, she’d be on the first sleigh back to the North Pole.

Chapter Ten

“Oh, Miss Kane, isn’t this the loveliest party ever?”

Carol ruffled Hillary’s hair affectionately. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

“Daddy seems to be too, don’t you think?” Hillary asked, turning to look up at Carol. “He’s talking to those men from the newspaper and he looks very relaxed.”

“He certainly does.” Carol decided that a swift change of subject was in order, because looking at, talking about, or even thinking about Ben made her sad. “How many people have told you how lovely you look?”

“I didn’t think it was polite to count.” Hillary grinned. “Eight.”

Carol laughed and leaned down to hug the girl. When she stood she felt Ben’s gaze on her but she refused to look directly at him. She’d managed to avoid contact with him all evening. With a house full of guests it had been easy to slip out of any room he entered. Also, the fact he knew everyone present meant he’d been waylaid by someone wanting to talk to him each time he’d tried to get close to her. She turned her attention back to Hillary. “It’s been so very nice getting to know you and Patrick.”

“Why do you sound like you’re saying goodbye?” Hillary asked. Her little brow furrowed and she grabbed Carol’s hand. “You’re not leaving us, are you?”

Carol cursed her own stupidity. She’d been so wrapped up in her own heartache that she’d slipped. “No,” she lied, “of course not. And leave you with all these dirty dishes to clean up? Never.”

Mollified, Hillary went back to chatting about what the other guests were doing, saying and wearing. Carol only half listened. As sad as the thought made her, she was grateful that the elves had brought a bag of ‘forget-me’ dust that she could sprinkle over the children just before she left that night. They wouldn’t miss her, or even remember her, which would make the last few days as if they’d never happened. A lump formed in Carol’s throat and she was glad Hillary didn’t appear to want her to do anything but listen.

She glanced at her watch. Less than three hours to go.

* * *

Ben realized with a start that he was having a good time, as in actually enjoying himself. He lifted his beer glass and took a slow sip, savoring not only its coldness but the magic of the moment. Across the room his son was playing with two neighbor kids, and not too far away his daughter stood hand in hand with Carol. Hillary looked happy. Just good old fashioned happy. The way children should look. And he owed it all to Carol.

He tried but couldn’t catch her eye. He frowned. He’d probably scared her with his talk of having her stay forever. He didn’t blame her for being overwhelmed by hosting a party for a houseful of people she’d never met, or by his spontaneous and ill-timed confession of his feelings for her. It was scary for him too. He’d never been open with his first wife, but then he hadn’t felt the way about her that he felt about Carol. He felt sure this time. Absolutely sure they were meant to be together.

He looked down at his watch. Two hours and fifty minutes, by then he was certain the house would be empty, the children on their way to bed, and he and Carol could begin to make plans for their future.

* * *

“Are you sure you want to do this, Carol? There’s no going back once we sprinkle them.”

Carol nodded. “Go ahead, Jolly. We need to leave and this is easiest on the children.” She stood back from Patrick’s bed and watched as Jolly dipped her hand into the small green satin bag she’d brought from home. Jolly waved her hand over the little boy and a light fairy dusting of green and silver sparkles swirled over his head and then evaporated.

“When did we add silver?” Carol asked.

Jolly shrugged. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Rapz later. I haven’t worked in the Christmas Magic department for almost a year now.”

Carol straightened Patrick’s blanket and blew him a kiss. He wouldn’t remember her, but she’d never forget him.

Jolly tugged at her sleeve. “We have to do the same for the girl, come on.”

They slipped across the hall into Hillary’s room. She lay curled up under her blanket, her stuffed black lab puppy in her arms. At the end of her bed her faded pink tutu lay ready for the next day. Carol reached down and ran the satin ties through her fingers. She issued a swift but fervent prayer that both children would only ever know happiness. When she opened her eyes she nodded to give Jolly the go-ahead. It was for the best that Hillary not remember the last few days. With one last lingering glance at the little girl who’d found a permanent place in her heart, Carol followed Jolly into the hallway.

“Now, how do we administer this to Mr. Scrooge?” Jolly held up the bag and looked at Carol expectantly.

“Don’t call him that.” Carol bit her lip in thought. “You know, I think it’s better if we don’t give him any.”

In answer, Jolly grabbed ahold of Carol’s arm and all but dragged her into the guest bedroom. Once the door was shut she let loose. “I knew, I knew it! You’ve got a thing for the anti-Christmas.”

“Sssh…lower your voice,” Carol said. “He’s downstairs loading the dishwasher and I don’t want him to hear us.”

“You don’t want him to forget you,” Jolly corrected her. “Carol, you need to think this through before you leave. I can go back and tell Santa that-”

But Carol didn’t let her finish the sentence. “No, Miss Know it All, you’re way off the mark. I just don’t want Ben to get a dose because then then he’ll be right back to where he was a few days ago attitude wise. So, if we want the children to have a special Christmas then we leave Ben the way he is.”