Miss Match (16 page)

If she doesn't finish this thought, I am seriously going to paint leopard spots on my body, move to the Far Reaches of the jungle, and spend
the rest of my life swinging from vines and not seeing another human as
long as I live.

She looks at me so pitifully I come close to crying myself.

The dam breaks.

"I just ... I don't understand him," she bursts. "Some days he's
so understanding and nice and I wonder if he likes me as more than a
friend. And other days, he seems so out of reach and avoids me like I have
the Bubonic plague." Her voice cracks.

Hannah gives her a Kleenex.

"You'll think I'm crazy." She wipes under her eyes. Her voice drops to
a decibel below a whimper. "But I think I ... sometimes I think he. . ."

"Hi, girls."

Ryan lives life on the edge.

Hannah and I whirl, prepared to kill any and every person, animal,
or insect that dares to intrude on this conversation.

Had he not been Ruby's brother, and had she not been in such a delicate mental state, I truly believe Ryan would not still be with us today.

I have such an iron grip on the desk my knuckles pop in protest.

"Hi, Ryan," Ruby says softly, clutching the Kleenex. "What are you
doing here?"

"I'm on my way in to work and stopped by to see what was happening here." Ryan looks constructiony. He wears ten-gallon boots, heavyduty cargo pants, and a big red-and-black-checked flannel shirt, and he's
chomping gum. His brown hair scatters all over his head like he got up
and forgot how to brush it.

He looks so hopeful and sweet and innocent that I can't stay mad
at him.

I melt.

I smile at him. "Well, we're just having some girl talk."

His eyes widen. "And I interrupted. I'm sorry. I ... Ruby, are you
okay?"

There is that ever-so-cute protective gleam in his eyes again. I hope
Hannah is noticing it.

Ruby starts waving her hands erratically. "Fine. Just fine. I think an
eyelash or something got in my eye. Don't worry about it. Actually, I'm
going to go try to get it out. Excuse me."

Ruby disappears in a hurry.

Hannah gives me a What-Do-We-Do-Now? look.

I shrug back an I-Have-No-Idea. Do we go comfort Ruby and perhaps hear the on-the-tip-of-her-tongue confession? Or are we polite and
talk to Ryan? Or do we split up and have one talk to Ruby and one talk
to Ryan?

I'm casting my vote for Lauren Holbrook, Counselor Spectacular, to speak with Ruby Fair, and Hannah Curtis, Beautiful Secretary, to woo
Ryan the Builder.

I open my mouth to speak the plan.

"I'll go see if she got the eyelash out."

Rats. Hannah beats me to the punch. She runs down the hall, knocks
once on the bathroom door, and disappears inside.

I lean back against the desk and study Construction Sam in front
of me.

"So." He says this tucking his gum in the back corner of his mouth.

"So," I echo.

"Guess you guys aren't very busy this early."

"Nope."

Ryan grunts once, either in acknowledgement of my answer or to fill
the silence, I'm not sure.

Here's what I am: Shameless.

"Well, this is Hannah's second week on the job. What do you think
of her?"

Ryan sits beside me at Hannah's desk, picking at a callous on his left
index finger.

"Uh." He swallows.

I prod. "What?"

"Well ... I mean, I don't ... I haven't been around her very long."
He is still fiddling with his finger. Beginning to bug me.

I try to ignore the picking. "Okay, so first impression. I'm garnering
info for her file."

Ryan smiles at me. "The opinions file?"

"Yep."

"I think she's a good secretary. Ruby likes her, anyway. Says she's
prompt." Ryan rolls his eyes. "You know Ruby."

"Trust me, I do."

He chuckles. Keeps picking.

Tolerance level for this is dropping drastically.

"So you give Hannah your stamp of approval?"

He looks at his hand for a second and then shrugs nonchalantly.
"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

A little too impersonal. Obviously, I have been slacking on the job.

Pick. Pick. Pick.

I can feel my breathing coming faster as I watch him play with the
callous. There are only a very few things that really get under my skin.

• Picking at calloused skin, scabs, or bites

• Popping knuckles

• Licking the top of the spray cheese bottle

• Leaving a glob of toothpaste in the sink

As you can see, picking a callous is at the very tip-top of my list.
Which will explain my next action.

"CUT IT OUT!" I scream. Slap my hands over both of his and still
his insolent finger.

He looks at me, blinking and wordless.

I once heard Laney tell me Barbie's boyfriend, Ken, would always be
the perfect male-because he didn't speak.

News flash to Laney: I have my hands on a perfect male.

He stares at me like I'm Gonzo from the Muppets tap dancing with
a flowerpot on my head.

Then he grins.

It is at this unfortunate moment that Ruby and Hannah reappear.
They both stop at the end of the hallway, mouths open, eyes wide.

I just know a squalling baby octopus is about to land on my head.

And then I realize what they are staring at.

Ryan is smiling. At me.

And we are holding hands.

I yank away like Ryan has suddenly begun channeling the spirit of the
Dread Pirate Roberts.

There he goes blinking again.

Hannah and Ruby switch from shocked expressions to giddy-pleased
expressions. Wait, why is Hannah giddy? Shouldn't she be frothing with
jealousy?

"We didn't mean to interrupt." Ruby is all smiles now.

Ryan stares at me confusedly. "You didn't interrupt anything."

"No, nothing," I say emphatically.

"Uh-huh." Hannah smiles. I search her face and see nothing but
absolute delight.

"Well, um, I should go," Ryan stutters. He stands.

Poor guy. I feel sorry for him. It is all my fault we are in this situation, and he gets to share the blame. If I know Ruby, he'll never hear the
end of it.

"I'll walk you out."

I might regret doing this in five minutes.

I sneak a look at Hannah and Ruby as I follow Ryan out. Strike the
first comment.

I will regret doing this.

He walks to a blue Chevy pickup and stops by the driver's door.

"Uh, Laurie?"

I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Sigh.

"Yeah, I know."

"Do they think that we were ... ?" He ducks his head and looks
at me.

I nod. Vigorously. "Yep. That's what they think, all right."

"Oh boy," he says, digging his keys out of his front pocket.

"Look, Ryan, this is all my fault. I'm sorry. I get carried away sometimes when something bugs me, and you picking at that-" I point
harshly to the infidel finger "-was definitely bugging me."

He grins abruptly. "You mean like this?"

Pick. Pick. Pick.

"ARRG!"

He laughs, and I have the sudden image of Ryan at age five.

Poor Ruby. It's a miracle she turned out so well.

"Stop it." I smack his hands. He does, still grinning. "Look, I'll
explain to your sister and Hannah."

"Don't even bother. It won't do any good. Ruby's been trying to set
me up with someone nice since I was in seventh grade."

Now it is my turn. "Oh boy." I let my breath out. "What should
we do?"

A strange mix of mischievous evil and absolute insanity crosses
Ryan's expression.

Uh-oh. I have a very bad feeling about this.

"What if we pretended we were really interested in each other?" He
winces. "I mean, not like I'm not interested in you right now ... it's just
that we could make them think we were ... I didn't mean that ..."

Okay, now this is fun.

I grin unrepentantly. "You mean you don't like me?"

He closes his eyes. "I'm normally not this smooth."

"Good. I'd hate to think I was the only klutz in this group."

"What do you think?"

I look at him. Ryan is nice. Sweet. Christian.

It will throw a major kink in my plan of Hannah and Ryan together,
but really ... well, she did seem pleased, didn't she? She definitely
wasn't mad.

Ryan is Ruby's little brother. Could it possibly tempt her toward the
altar if her baby brother is falling in love?

And plus, it will put a look like no other on Brandon's face.

What do I have to lose?

"I accept." I shake his hand.

His face splits in the cute little-kid-on-the-monkey-bars smile. "This
will be great. Okay. First, I have to ask you out in front of at least one
of them."

"Nick," I decide. "He'll tell Ruby, who will go ballistic."

"Genius. When should our date be?"

"Wednesday. Right before Bible study. We should walk in carrying
a cup from the same place."

"You're ruthless."

"Ah, don't I know it. So Sunday you'll ask me out?"

"Sunday." He smiles again and squeezes my shoulder. Then he gets
in his car and I walk back inside.

Hannah and Ruby both stand by the door, arms crossed, eyes twinkling. "So," Ruby draws the word out. "My brother has expressed his
interest, I see."

I blush in an innocent, Oh-Gracious-I've-Been-Found-Out look.
"You guys are crazy," I protest lightly. I go around them and to the
appointment calendar.

"She's blushing," Hannah says.

Ruby hums her agreement. "And avoiding the subject."

"She likes him," Hannah sing-songs.

"Who likes him?" Brandon asks, walking in and shedding his coat.

"Laurie likes Ryan," Ruby announces.

"I do not!"

"And he likes her," Hannah purrs.

Brandon's eyebrows climb on his forehead, and his lips get very tight.
He makes a hmm sound in the back of his throat.

It is all I can do to not burst out laughing.

Poor Brandon. I am mean.

"Could I see you in my office, please?" He jerks his thumb down
the hall.

I follow. Once the door closes behind me, he whirls.

"Lauren Holbrook, you amaze me." He leans against the edge of his
desk, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why?"

"I thought you weren't getting married."

Haven't we had this discussion before?

"People change sometimes, Brandon. Besides, it's not like I'm marrying the guy. I only just met him, for Pete's sake!"

"What about Hannah? I thought you were trying to set her up
with Ryan."

I shrug. "Guess I had an Emma moment."

Brandon stares at me quizzically.

"Never mind." I know better than to tread the thick, muddied waters
of explaining romantic comedies to a "shoot 'em up, blow 'em up, clean
'em up" movies kind of guy.

"Look, Laurie, I just don't want either of you to get hurt." He pulls
me into a hug.

Aw. Unexpectedly, I start getting choked up. Add to that the humongous load of pure, solid guilt landing with a resounding oomph! on
my back.

"Thanks, Brandon," I sniff, rubbing my face on his shirt.

He pushes me back, grimacing. "Here." Hands me a Kleenex.

I blow my nose, quite loudly, and he grins. "I must admit, though, I
pity the poor man."

"Shut up." I miss the trash can by two inches.

"What's with the hair today?" He pokes it for good measure.

"I was tired this morning."

"Uh-huh. I can tell. You look like you brushed it with a fork."

"Worked for Ariel."

"Doesn't work for you. I like it better straight."

I sigh. Between my dad's compliments and Brandon's insults, it's no
wonder I'm the emotional roller coaster I am.

At three forty-five, after six families, a cheeseburger, three Dr. Peppers,
two lattes, and four Milky Ways, I finally get around to ordering
the barbecue.

"Smith Valley Barbecue." I can hear the buzz of people talking and
laughing and little kids yelling behind the exhausted female voice.

"I need to place an order for Saturday."

Smith Valley Barbecue is the best in town, and it's no secret. Just the
fact that I have to put in an order two days in advance attests to this.

"Okay, go ahead."

I rattle off the order.

"What's the pick-up time?"

"Eleven thirty."

"Name?"

"Laurie Holbrook."

"Phone number?"

I give her both my home and cell numbers.

"Thank you."