Miss Me Not (13 page)

"And save some cookies for me," he called after them.

"Were they running again?" his mom asked, stepping out from one of the doorways that lined the hallway. "I swear those girls only have one speed. So what do you think of my project. Is it too much?" she asked, indicating the walls.

"It's amazing," I answered truthfully before I could think about it. The words spilled out on their own accord. My social skills that had been stunted for so long were slowly emerging like a turtle would from his shell when he feels safe. What was it about these people? Why did I suddenly have the urge to trust them? Trust was a double-edged sword. It could give you hope, but it could cut you in an instant when it was broken.

Dean and I were watching the Food Network in the family room when his dad got home an hour later.

Taking in his appearance, I was slightly apprehensive at his intimidating stature. He was easily taller than six feet with broad shoulders. His hair was grey at the temples giving him a distinguished look. I would have labeled him stuffy if not for the laugh lines around his eyes.

The twins came clamoring out of their playroom when they heard the front door open. They hit their father's legs like mini torpedoes.
"Daddy!"
They squealed happily as he tossed one after another in the air before giving them a bear hug. My heart wept as I watched him squat down in front of both of them, asking each of them about their days. He kept an arm firmly around each one as they talked over each other, filling him in on their every activity. I waited for him to get bored with their endless chatter. I waited for his eyes to glaze over with indifference, but neither of these things happened as he listened to them both attentively until they eventually ran out of steam.

"Where's your mom?" he asked.

"She's in the
kitcen
finising
dinner," one of them lisped out.

"She is? It smells yummy. I'm thinking roast, right?" he said with a twinkle in his eyes as he finally turned toward us.

"You must be Madison," he said, approaching the couch where Dean and I had been perched.

"Yes, sir," I said self-consciously as he held his hand out to me. I'd grown accustomed to Dean's touch and was able to shake his mother's hand without much of a qualm, but touching another person of the opposite sex, especially one older than me made me break out in a cold sweat. The last time I'd let an older man touch me it had destroyed everything. My family, the church and my innocence were forever lost. My knees began to shake.

"Dad, how was your day?" Dean asked, stepping in to cover up my lapse. He shook his father's outstretched hand.

"It was work," his father said chuckling. "It's nice to meet you Madison," he added warmly.

"You too, sir," I said, embarrassed about my social faux pas. I was a freaking mess.

"Call me Tim. What's on the marquee tonight?" he asked Dean.

"I think the twins picked Toy Story 3 again, and Mom picked up the new bank heist movie for us once they go to bed."

"Excellent. A good action movie is the perfect way to round out the week. Don't you think, Madison?" he asked, winking at me.

"Yes, sir," I stuttered out like a moron.

"Tim," he reminded me as he headed for the kitchen.

Sarah met him in the archway and I watched as they embraced like they hadn't seen each other in a month. I glanced over at Dean to see if their affection was embarrassing
him. I found his eyes on me instead of them. I felt myself flush at his look. Did he now understand why I didn't fit in?

He smiled at me reassuringly, lacing his fingers through mine. "You're doing fine," he whispered as we trailed behind his parents toward the dining room.

The twins were already seated at the table in their matching booster seats. Serving dishes loaded with food sat in the center of the table. The smell wafting from them was enticing and my mouth instantly started watering. On their best day, my frozen dinners never smelled half as good as the food resting on the table in front of me.

The meal went beyond any expectations I'd ever imagined a family dinner to go. The food was unbelievably good and the conversations were loud and punctuated with frequent laughter as the twins entertained us with their constant chatter.

Dean and I volunteered to clean the kitchen while his parents bathed the twins and put them in pajamas.

"You did it," Dean said, rinsing the last glass before adding it to the full dishwasher.

"Did you doubt I wouldn't?" I asked, wiping down the table.

"Not for a second," he answered, tossing the dirty dish towel into the laundry room that was located right off the kitchen. "Movie time," he said as the twins came skipping into the kitchen wearing pajamas with Disney's newest heroine splashed across them.

"Yay," they squealed, running for the living room.

"Ready for part two of family fun night?" he asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

"
Negator
," he answered as we joined his family in the living room. Both his parents were already sitting on the love seat when we joined them. They looked content as his mom leaned against his dad's chest so she'd have a good view of the television.

Ashley and Dora waited until Dean and I
were
sitting next to each other and then piled in between us. Dean grinned at me and I couldn't help but return a smile. I'm not sure which one it was, but one of the twins lifted my arm and snuggled underneath it while Tim started the movie and dimmed all the lights.

I looked down at the small body snuggled up beside me, and for the second time that night, I fought sudden tears. One day, this could be me snuggled up on the couch with my own daughter. If I would have followed through with my plan, I wouldn't be sitting here right now thinking about someday having my own family. The gift Mitch had given me made the knot in my throat swell. I had a future. I could someday get married and have my own family. For the first time since his death, I wanted to weep for his loss. I wasn't his friend and I really never knew Mitch, but my heart ached for the family he would never have.

Ashley and Dora both crashed halfway through the movie, but we continued to watch until the end. As my first experience with a Disney movie, I was impressed. Who knew animation could be so entertaining? Being a church daycare kid, my cartoon watching had centered on the same boring Christian videos over and over again in an endless loop. It got to the point that I would rather watch paint dry than see how Moses parted the Red Sea.

"How about some cookies and pumpkin bars?" Dean asked as his parents each carried a twin to their room.

"Sure," I said, standing and stretching. "But first I need to use the bathroom."

"Down the hall, second door on the left," Dean said.

"Okay," I said walking quietly down the hall so I wouldn't disturb the twins. Movement in one of the rooms I passed grabbed my attention and I paused in the doorway. I watched as Dean's parents carefully tucked each little girl into their bed, taking care not to
wake them. Sweeping my eyes around the room, I took in the pretty pink walls, delicate furnishings and framed artwork that was obviously one of a kind. It was the kind of room I used to dream of having when I was little.
It screamed of love and caring.
Feeling like a stalker, I watched as Dean's parents tenderly kissed the sleeping girls on the foreheads before I turned away. I moved from the door, anxious to get away. I closed the bathroom door behind me quietly and leaned against it, heavily. Who were these people? Did people really act like this? I felt like I was in some kind of utopian movie, where everything was picture perfect. I was a fraud for stepping into their utopian lives when I clearly belonged in a dystopian world.

Once I finished using the toilet, I stood in front of the vanity washing my slightly shaking hands. I grimaced, taking in my reflection. My eyes looked larger than normal as they stood out against my pasty, clammy complexion. I needed to get a grip. I would finish my night in this alternate universe and then join my reality.
I could do this,
I thought as I left the bathroom.

"Everything okay?"
Dean asked when I joined him on the couch.

"Yeah," I lied, scooting to the side of the couch to put some distance between us. It was time I kept our friendship real. No family dinners, no cozy nights on the couch and definitely no almost-kisses in dim hallways.

I tried to ignore the confused and somewhat hurt look on Dean's face. Instead, I pretended to be engrossed in the movie on the big television. The actual plot of the movie was lost on me as one action scene bled into the other, but my mind silently counted down the minutes and seconds until I could return to my worthless existence where I didn't feel like the biggest imposter ever. After what seemed like the longest movie ever, the credits finally began to roll across the screen.

"That was pretty good," Dean said around a yawn to his father as he stood up stretching.

"I agree. Plus, that twist at the end snuck right up on me," Tim said, pulling Sarah to her feet.

"Not me. I saw it coming about halfway in," Sarah said smugly, planting a kiss on Tim's cheek.

"Get out," Dean said, turning to me. "Did you have it figured out too?"

Since I'd spent the majority of the movie in a fog, I had absolutely no idea what twist they were all talking about. "Uh, no, it completely took me by surprise," I mumbled, edging toward the door so Dean would get the point.

"Madison, it was a pleasure to meet you," Sarah said, joining me at the door. "I hope we'll get to see you soon," she said, pulling me in for a hug.

Every cell in my body froze at her touch. My
arms hung by my side and my back was
stiff as a board. I tried not to think about the last time someone had held me in their arms.

"You're so beautiful, it makes my heart ache," he crooned, studying my cleavage that had recently come to life.

"You think so?" I asked, toying with a lock of my hair, trying to hide my smile. I'd seen the way he'd checked me out when he saw me at church. He was just trying to play it cool, the way he continued to keep me at arm's length, at least, until today. I knew he
wanted me. I had been planning today for months. If this didn't have the effect I yearned for, nothing would, so I'd lured him in with the excuse that my dad had some schedule changes for him.

I had to hold back my giggle when his eyes nearly popped out of his head when I answered his knock at the door wearing a short revealing negligee I had snagged from Victoria Secret. My newfound chest was barely covered by the small slip of lace that made up the bodice. I watched as his eyes devoured every curve of my body while I led him into the house.

"Where are you parents?" he had asked, noticeably nervous, even as he took a step toward me.

"Not here," I said coyly, taking a drink of my Coke I had dosed with a healthy shot of rum. My dumbass nerves were being a pain in the ass. I could do this. It was just sex.

Sarah dropped her arms after a moment, and I was able to push the memories back into their vault.

That couldn't have been more awkward, but thankfully, Sarah said nothing as Tim slid an arm across her shoulders.

"Yes, you're welcome any time," he said warmly.

"Thanks," I stammered, anxious to leave before any other memories could resurface.

"I'll be back in a few," Dean said, grabbing his keys from the table by the door.

"Drive carefully," Sarah said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Don't forget to lock up when you get home," Tim said, giving him a one-armed hug.

"Will do," Dean said, lacing his fingers through mine. "Did you have fun tonight?" he asked, opening the door of the jeep for me.

"Sure," I answered, buckling my seatbelt. I really was telling the truth. I did have fun, all the way up until I realized that my presence would tarnish their happy lifestyle.

Dean looked at me, obviously trying to get a gauge on if I was being sincere. After a moment, he finally started the vehicle and pulled out of the circular driveway.

"My parents really liked you," he said conversationally, pulling onto the main road.

"Right," I answered, looking out the window. He was wrong of course. Parents as a rule didn't like people like me.

"I'm serious," he insisted. "My mom told me while you were in the bathroom that you're a sweet girl."

I snorted at his words.
"Sweet?
She wouldn't think that if she knew me," I said sarcastically before turning back to my window.

"
Mads
, why
are you
so hard on yourself?" he asked exasperated as he pulled into my driveway.

"Dean, stop acting dumb. Even if you don't believe half the stories about me, you can't deny the ones that do count. For God's sake, I once made an entire church congregation split down the middle. I broke up a church. Is that something a
sweet
girl would do?"