Miss Ryder's Memoirs (20 page)

“Mama has a slight nervous disorder,” she acknowledged graciously. “It is the result of Papa’s dying so suddenly and leaving her all alone. You mustn’t think that it is something that will last forever. It has only been a year since Papa’s death and she will recover in time.”

Cousin Bret obviously thought she was talking about Mama’s highwayman act. “You have done nothing, yourself, to put an end to this, I take it?” he asked, almost incredulous.

“Well, what is there that I can do? She’s not just of the easiest disposition to be culled into a more ordinary frame of mind.”

“But the consequences! I assure you that I would put a period to it if I were in charge of Hastings.”

Amanda stared at him. “You would do nothing of the sort. It is Mama’s own choice, what she wishes to do. And you are not going to be in charge of Hastings. Pray put that thought from your mind.”

“That’s not the only thought I have in mind,” Cousin Bret assured her. He swung his leg a little faster now. He’d gotten to the real meat of the conversation. “I think,” he said in his most sinister voice, “that it would be well for the two of us to marry.’’

I wanted to run in there and slap his face for such impertinence. Amanda’s color rose high in her cheeks, her nose seemed to become longer and sharper, and she stared at him with painfully cold eyes.

“I’m sure I cannot think where you came to believe that I would be agreeable to such a proposal, but I beg that you will disabuse yourself of the notion instantly. Nothing could be farther from my mind than a marriage with you. There has been no suggestion in my behavior that I would welcome such an offer. In fact, I have just spent a certain amount of time warning you from making it.”

She leaped up from the chair, only to be followed by him as she raced for the door. Fortunately, it was not the door were I stood, but the one into the hall, and it was partially open, so that she could call for help, of course, should anyone attack her. That’s the purpose of all doors left open in a young woman’s presence, I assume.

Cousin Bret restrained her with a hand on her sleeve. Amanda didn’t dare pull away for fear of ripping her best day dress. Poor lamb. I could sympathize with her confusion over the situation. She plucked desperately at his fingers, trying to remove them from the light fabric, but he persisted, twisting the material between his fingers in an excess of excitement.

“I’m afraid you don’t understand. I can force you to marry me,” he told her.

Her astonishment was considerable. Her eyes widened with incredulity and her fingers fluttered into little butterflies that moved round and round her neck. “You must have lost your mind. If you let me go this instant, I will not tell Mama. Otherwise, I shall be forced to speak with her, and she will find it necessary to insist that you leave the house. Really, something has happened about which you should see a medical man, Cousin Bret. Your brains have become overly active, or you have been reading gothic novels. Gentlemen do not force ladies to marry them, and if you have taken the notion that they do, you are much mistaken.”

Cousin Bret had still not let go of her dress, but Amanda was so agitated that she pulled away from him and I heard the fabric rend. “Oh, now look what you have done!” she cried. “It can never be repaired and it is my very favorite. Alice said that I don’t look so well in any other gown and now I shall have to find something new to wear. Oh, you wicked, wicked man.” And she took off at a run, pushing open the door and racing out into the hall and up the stairs.

Cousin Bret just stood there, looking as though something had happened that he did not at all comprehend. He frowned and stomped his foot and took to pacing about the room. For a long time he wore a path on the Axminster carpet, up and back, up and back. His hands were clasped behind his back and his head down; he looked the perfect caricature of a man distressed.

I hadn’t the least pity for him. Imagine his trying to blackmail dear Amanda. Probably it was a very good thing that she hadn’t the slightest idea of what he was saying. Save for the necessity of keeping my own knowledge a secret, I would have raced into the room and confronted him.

As I was crouched there on the balcony, Sir John came upon me and expressed his annoyance with my behavior. “You really are the most abominable girl, Catherine."

I couldn’t think of a good retort, so I shrugged. He shook his head in exasperation and placed my hand through his arm. “We need to talk,” he said, then he led me to the shrubbery at the side of the house. It was a neglected shrubbery, not one where people strolled very often, because in hot weather it was muggy and in cold weather it was breezy.

Today it was still and breathless. Sir John stood me at arm’s length and studied me, his blue eyes searching for some sort of answer to a question he did not bother to frame in words. Satisfied, I suppose, with what he saw, his arms came around me and drew me to him. And his lips were so terribly sweet that I had a difficult time pulling myself away from them, but pull away I did.

“Really, Sir John,” I said, straightening and patting down my disordered hair. “It’s quite ungentlemanlike of you to handle a poor young lady in such a fashion. Quite improper, as Amanda would be happy to tell you."

“No doubt. But it is a sure way to get your attention, and I want your attention. There are several matters we have to discuss. Such as your cousin’s assumption that your mother is the highwayman.”

By the close way he surveyed me I knew that he was trying to analyze what effect this statement had on me, but I managed to drop down to dust off my shoe at just the right moment.

“Cousin Bret has never been able to get things quite straight,” I assured him. “But you will have to excuse me. I really must get back to the stables and check that Lofty has settled down. She was badly frightened last night.”

“Strange. One would have thought she would be used to the dark by this time, with all your nighttime activity.” His brows were raised in the most abominably quizzing way.

I hastened to add to my tale. “Sometimes I ride Mama’s horse. Antelope is extraordinarily brave. She’s the kind of animal who doesn’t seem to notice if it’s day or night.”

“I see.” It didn’t really look as if he saw at all.

“Have you anything further to say?” I asked. “If not, I shall be about my business.’’

He shook his head, not unhappily, but with a measure of frustration. “Catherine, you simply must learn to confide in me. Have I not laid to rest any suspicions you may have entertained when I first arrived?”

My suspicions had long since been lulled by his kisses and his confessions. But I felt I had to keep him from finding out about Mama. Which would be easy enough, if I could only keep her from riding out at night again, and if I could get her to tell me where she had hidden her ill-gotten gains.

“There’s nothing to confide to you,” I assured him. The question that had bothered me before I fell asleep occurred to me, and I thought it would serve as a good distraction. “How did you get out of your room last night?”

His mouth broke into a wide grin. "I liked that,’’ he admitted. “I especially enjoyed the performance with the dog after everything had quieted down.”

“It took excellent timing to manage it.” I had put on my haughtiest air, but just to heighten his amusement. “Dutch is not trained to take part in that kind of project and it was hard to keep him at my side. He kept wandering off.”

The baronet laughed and declared that he would have liked to see it. I prolonged the telling about the meat and the turning of the key in the lock for as long as I could, and then I pressed him to tell his side of the story.

“I’m afraid it’s nowhere near as exciting as yours. When I came into my room I discovered that the key was missing and I went down to the housekeeper’s room and asked for a duplicate.”

I must have looked crestfallen, for he asked, “Did you think I had climbed out the window and risked my neck slithering down a vine?”

“Well, I thought it would be a little more exciting than getting a key from the housekeeper,” I sighed. “After all the work I went to.”

And to make up for my disappointment, he kissed me. I liked his kissing me, but I couldn’t help wondering if it was leading anywhere. By our country standards what had passed between us was a great deal more than flirtation, but it seemed less than a courtship—more like the prelude to a proposition that someone of my standing would surely not receive. From Lady Sutton’s letter I could imagine Sir John behaving in this fashion with some lady in London whose reputation was not at all what it should have been.

He put me from him gently and said, “I think it’s time we contacted Robert. He’ll have more success in determining what is really going on here.”

That would never do! “You would just upset him. There’s no need for him to know because I won’t ride out again. I promise you I will never rob anyone again. Besides, Robert couldn’t possibly leave London.”

“Oh, I think he could manage to come. Robert is much freer than you all seem to believe. True, his uncle has hog-tied him in some ways, but he has a few escape routes that he has yet to employ. For your own sakes, he had best be informed.”

Now I was thoroughly alarmed. I grasped his hand and pressed it hard, trying to impress him with the enormity of my plea. “Oh, please don’t. I should hate for him to know of anything so . . . so unappetizing about his family. Nothing of this is going to leak out. It’s over, and you won’t have a worry about it anymore. Wait a few days and see if things don’t adjust as perfectly as you could wish.”

He stared at me until I could feel the flush rising into my neck and cheeks. Really, he is the most unaccountable man. Those eyes, blazing down at me, seeming to see right into my mind and perhaps even into my heart. I returned his gaze as steadily as I was able, but it was tremendously difficult.

After a minute or two he released his hand from mine and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Catherine, but I really have to write to him. He has a right to know what’s going on at his home, within the bosom of his family.”

His long perusal of me had told him something, though I was not quite sure what. He had made up his mind, and I knew, deep inside me, that he wouldn’t change it. I could wheedle or plead and he would feel drawn to me, wishing to please, but he was determined that he had the right of it, and he wouldn’t change his mind for me or anyone else.

Though I wanted to cry with frustration, I refused to let him see it. “Very well, I’ll just be off to the stables, then.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Thank you, no. I would prefer being by myself for a while.”

“As you wish.”

When I walked away from him, he remained in the shrubbery and I didn’t see him again until dinner. Which suited me just fine.

* * * *

The next afternoon there was a violent thunderstorm and none of us was able to go outdoors. Amanda was practicing the pianoforte and I was wandering around the house, wishing that there was something interesting for me to do. I thought that Sir John had gone off in his carriage and would not be back for some time because he would get caught at the local public house, where he had gone to have a game of darts or some such evidence of manly camaraderie. But suddenly there he was, stomping in the back door, raindrops running down his driving coat and plopping off his curled beaver hat. He looked wonderful, so unaffected and almost naughty.

In the very instant that he looked up to catch my gaze on him, he winked at me. Imagine! A man of his finesse, and he winked at me, just as though I were a parlor maid. Well, I was offended. And I let him know it. My chin went up and my brows rose to their haughtiest level. “I am not accustomed to being treated with such a cavalier want of courtesy,” I informed him.

“Aren’t you? How very strange. I should have thought everyone would have treated you that way, considering your hurly-burly ways. My dear Miss Ryder, I could think of a more courteous greeting, but then you would not have spoken to me at all. You would have darted off like a deer, as you’ve been doing for the last day or two. Avoiding me at all costs, and I have discovered the reason!”

“And what is that?”

“Because you have not yet delivered on your promise to come up with the spoils of your robberies.”

He said this in a perfectly normal voice, and I looked all around the area, frantic that one of the servants might have heard him. I put my finger to my lips, saying, “Shush, shush. Lower your voice, for pity’s sake. Do you want all the world to know?”

“Do you mean they don’t? That, too, is a rarity around Hastings, if I may make so bold as to say so. The servants and the family are ordinarily a surprisingly curious bunch.”

It seemed safer to change the subject. “You’re dripping wet, Sir John. I’ll ring for your valet to help you out of those damp clothes and into something dry and warm. Perhaps you would like an extra fire laid in your room. Or you will find one already burning in the library, where we tend to congregate on rainy, chill summer days. It’s by far the coziest room on such a day.”

“Oh, I don’t think I will need a fire in my room. But I’ll change and be waiting for you there in half an hour. That will make a very private place for you to bring the money and purses you’ve stolen, where no one will see them or you.”

“But I can’t very well come there,” I protested.

“Why not? You’ve been there on several occasions. Stretch your principles, Miss Ryder. After all, if it is perfectly all right with your principles for you to steal so unmercifully, you should be able to convince your conscience that bringing the spoils to my room is a mere trifle.”

He had a point, of course, and so I agreed. But I didn’t really intend to keep to my end of the bargain. One doesn’t have to bow to coercion, does one? I would search Mama’s room, of course. As I had been unable to get her to speak on the matter of highway robbery, or the goods she had taken, I felt myself justified in searching her room, but I felt the chances of finding the booty were small. Since it was her room, she knew best where something could be spirited away without a servant or a family member happening on it by mistake.