Missed Connections (13 page)

"If you think you've been hiding it you're sorely mistaken. I just thought we'd be in college by the time you got around to experimenting."

"Honestly, I intended to be." Kyle shrugged. "But it would've been a shame to pass up the opportunity."

"And how was it?" Gwen bounced on the balls of her feet.

"You've kissed guys before. You know what it's like." Kyle could feel himself blushing again.

"But I don't know what it was like
for you
. Did you like it?"

Kyle looked around to make sure no one he didn't want hearing him was within earshot. "Seriously? Yeah. I definitely like boys."

"Do you want me to get his number for you?" Gwen bounced again.

"No." Kyle paused to consider the question. It wasn't that Jamie wasn't cute or anything, but firstly, Kyle was pretty sure he wasn't interested—he'd more or less said as much—and secondly, he didn't especially wanna be the one gay kid, fighting to take a guy to prom or whatever. There were roadblocks in the way of that kinda thing, and he didn't want to have to face them. He wanted to finish high school as quietly and uneventfully as possible, he sure as hell didn't want his dad finding out that he was making out with dudes in front of crowds of people until he'd saved up enough to move out.

Gwen talked to him about college a lot and he was still kind of hoping to do something part-time at the local community college once he graduated. None of these plans included getting involved with another guy while he was still in high school and having to fight his way through that on top of everything else.

"No," Kyle repeated. "I mean, he's better off without me anyway."

"If this is about to become a pity party, it's also about to become a party of one." Gwen raised an eyebrow. Kyle took a deep breath and forced himself to snap out of it. It wasn't as though he was giving up on a big, unrequited love. A couple of months and he'd be free and likely never see Jamie again. Everything was fine. He could've fallen for any one of the people he'd kissed today, and he was pretty sure he hadn't.

"Nah. I mean, not that he's not cute and everything, I'm just really not interested in dating anyone. People are too complicated for me to deal with long-term."

"You're starting to sound like Cole. It's the hair dye leeching into your brain."

"Don't let anyone know I'm not a natural
bluenette
."

"Did you just use the word
bluenette
?" Gwen wrinkled her nose.

Kyle stuck his tongue out at her briefly and then caught the ball of his tongue piercing between his lips as he pulled it back in. There was an inscription that was nearly impossible to see unless the person knew what was on it, but they both knew that the ball said 'fuck you' once they got close enough.

"Very grown up. You're right, Jamie probably wouldn't be interested in you."

"You're not gonna goad me into dating the guy by attacking my sense of maturity. It's just… really not the right time. Ships passing in the night and all."

"Okay, if that's how you feel. You'd be cute together, though."

"I'd be cute with
anyone.
" Kyle grinned.

When he'd first agreed to help out on the School Improvement Team, Kyle had imagined he'd spend a lot of time picking up litter and painting classroom walls—and he'd done his share—but it wasn't the worst thing ever. He was actually starting to have
fun
at this "doing good deeds" stuff. Not that he'd ever let on to anyone that his punishment had stopped being a punishment a while ago, because he had an image to maintain, but today had been fun, and by the time they'd finished cleaning up and were headed home, everyone seemed to have forgotten that he'd publicly kissed another guy.

Which, for the moment, was exactly what Kyle wanted.

Present

Kyle was in his element, serving the first customers of the day, the scent of roasting coffee beans filling the whole shop as Gwen slid rows of fresh muffins into the display case at the front. The regulars who were always lined up outside when Kyle opened the doors ordered their coffees good-naturedly, bantered while he made them, tipped well, and always said please and thank you. Not everyone did, but part of what made coming to work at ridiculous o'clock in the morning okay was that everyone he spoke to for the first hour of the day was really nice to him.

He sipped his own shot of pure espresso as the first wave of the morning rush died down and watched busy students and faculty head to their classes. Gwen was gonna desert him just after lunch to go to class, but he didn't have anything today and Tuesday afternoons were never all that busy. Kyle was settling in for a nice, easy, normal day when someone familiar walked through the door.

It took Kyle about three seconds to place him, and then his stomach dropped to somewhere around his knees.

"Jamie." Kyle blinked. Jamie's hair was still the same fluffy mess it had been in high school, but the last six years had been good to him. Kyle wasn't sure if he'd grown an inch or two or if Kyle just remembered him a little shorter—or maybe it was even that he was carrying himself straighter now—but either way he looked great. He'd definitely grown into his body a little better, still on the lean side but more filled out than he had been. It wasn't as though Kyle was unchanged, either, but Jamie looked outright amazing.

Kyle became aware around the time he was smiling at the two-toned bird pattern of Jamie's sweater vest that he was staring, and he hadn't said anything other than the guy's name. That was probably rude.

"You look like you're seeing a ghost." Jamie smiled mischievously, eyes glittering.

"And
you
look edible," Gwen interrupted. Jamie glowed and rocked on the balls of his feet. Kyle wished he'd gotten in with it first.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Jamie beamed.

"It might've been an offer." Gwen winked at him. They both laughed, and Kyle wondered for the first time if maybe Gwen had known Jamie a little better than she'd let on in high school.

After the incident with the kissing booth, Kyle had talked to Jamie a few times. He'd even sort of counted him among his friends, but then Jamie had gone away for college pretty much as quickly as he could. Kyle had gotten his first job in this place around that time—he was a manager now, but only because he'd worked his way up—and he'd been scrambling to move out of home, and keeping his fingers crossed that he'd get into this college so it wouldn't be weird that he was working in the campus café.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for class?" Kyle asked Gwen with a pleasant smile. To her credit, Gwen recognised this as Kyle invoking the ancient law of 'I saw him first' and looked at the clock in mock-alarm. Her class didn't start for another couple of hours, but she wasn't about to pass up the chance to go early, either.

"You're right." She pulled off her apron and rushed out to the back, calling out, "see you later," as she grabbed her things and left.

Kyle turned back to Jamie and smiled. "Sorry about that. What can I get you?"

"Something inadvisable and fattening," Jamie responded as though he'd been planning to say that for a while. "Whatever you're best at."

"Well, I'm not sure we can do that in public, but the next best thing is making coffee." Kyle winked and started getting to work to make Jamie what he hoped would be the best cup of coffee of his life.

"Are you flirting with me because Gwen started it or because you flirt with everyone?" Jamie settled on a stool at the coffee bar nearest the machine. Very few people ever sat there on account of all the steam, but Jamie didn't seem to mind. He picked up a sugar packet and started fiddling with it.

"Who says I'm flirting with you?" Kyle gave Jamie his best innocent look.

"So it
is
that you flirt with everyone. No wonder I keep hearing good things about this place." Jamie shook the sugar packet side to side idly while Kyle fitted the filter back into the machine with a satisfying click.

"I'm glad you're hearing good things." Kyle smiled at him. It was nice to hear that all his hard work wasn't going unnoticed. People complimented him to his face all the time, but that could have been politeness or angling for free coffee—which they often got. Hearing it was spreading outside the shop as well probably meant he was doing something right.

Jamie nodded. "Something along the lines of 'you have to try the coffee and the cute barista'. I assume they're talking about you."

"They'd better be. What do you think?" Kyle glanced at Jamie while he poured milk into the steaming jug. He didn't really have to look any more, he'd been doing this so long it was second nature, but it saved him having to look at Jamie the whole time and potentially making things awkward.

"You've changed a lot since high school," Jamie pointed out. Kyle blushed, only too aware that this was true. He actually had a few less holes in his face now—he'd given up his tongue ring and his septum piercing, but kept lip, eyebrow and ears—but Jamie was almost certainly talking about the fact that he'd gained a lot of weight in the past six years. People did that when they stopped being skinny teenagers, and Kyle was okay with it. He even thought it suited him, but to someone who hadn't seen him since, it had to be a surprise.

"You have no idea." There was plenty of other stuff Jamie couldn't possibly guess about him from the way he looked now, and Kyle was happy with most of it. Life since high school had been really good to him, all things considered.

"I think it's for the better," Jamie said as though he'd read Kyle's thoughts. Kyle poured the milk into the coffee and then added a generous swirl of both caramel and chocolate sauce to the top of it before handing it over. "And now you're trying to assassinate me, which I imagine is punishment for not just coming out and saying that you are definitely the cute barista and it's a very pleasant surprise."

Kyle grinned, pleased that Jamie had finally said he was cute. Because he damned well
was
cute, thank you. "You're the one who wanted inadvisable." He shrugged. "It's worth the sugar rush, trust me."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't see what you added. Calories only count if you know about them." Jamie nodded and wrapped his hands around the coffee cup.

"Works for me," Kyle agreed as he cleaned down the machine. "We're too young to worry about crap like that anyway."

"You're probably right." Jamie sipped his coffee and then made a soft, delighted noise. "You're definitely right. If this is your second greatest skill then your first one must truly be something to behold."

"It is, and I can produce witnesses." Kyle was more than a little proud of himself for the fact that he got laid regularly without putting a whole lot of effort into it. Mostly, it was people wanting to experiment with someone safe, but that was a lot of fun and it'd never occurred to him to want anything more. He'd opened up worlds of sexual possibilities for dozens if not hundreds of impressionable college students. It was practically a community service.

"So it is true for
some
people that college is one long string of hookups." Jamie smiled wryly. "But then people always flocked to you. And avoided me. Probably wisely so."

"I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response." Kyle gave Jamie a small, kind smile. "If it helps, I regretted not getting to know you better. People around here generally think of me as pretty wise."

"You do have an aura of wisdom about you these days." Jamie sipped at his coffee again and then turned the cup around a few times before apparently realising that he was fidgeting and visibly forcing himself to stop. "It's probably the hair. I had no idea you were a blond."

"How do you know this is natural?" Kyle ran a hand through his hair automatically, then cursed himself internally and turned to the sink to wash his hands. He'd almost entirely gotten out of the habit of touching his hair thanks to this job, so when he
did
forget, it was at least twice as annoying as it had been when he started.

"You can't get that shade out of a bottle. Besides, it looks healthier. You really look like you're taking care of yourself now. You quit smoking, too." Jamie looked at him like he was proud.

"How the hell did you know that?"

"You don't smell of smoke any more. And your fingers aren't yellow. I bet you don't drink, either."

"I don't." Kyle blinked at him. "Wow. Observant."

Kyle had realised, not long after finally moving out of home, that he wasn't exactly taking great care of himself. He'd known he was edging toward being outright self-destructive and after he'd recovered from a particularly miserable hangover, he'd made a promise to look after himself from then on. The last thing he wanted was to end up a carbon copy of his father. Gwen and Andre had been supportive, but they were his best friends. Jamie wasn't a stranger, and he hadn't had to face Kyle's tetchy nicotine withdrawal either, but it was nice to have it noticed by someone who'd known him before that it was an improvement.

"I regretted not getting to know you better, too. But I'm sure you'll have ample opportunity to get sick of me now."

It took Kyle a second to grasp what Jamie was getting at. "So this isn't a flying visit?"

Jamie shook his head. Kyle instantly regretted flirting so openly with him. Trying his luck for a one-night thing just to get a taste of what might've been, to satisfy his curiosity, was one thing. It was ridiculous to think of Jamie as someone he had
history
with, but it was a thought Kyle couldn't quite shake, either. Jamie was still the first boy he'd ever kissed. That didn't just go away.

"Huh. So what's keeping you here?"

"A job offer. Here, at the college. In admin. This way I can keep studying something completely useless in the workplace but personally fulfilling and stop relying on my parents to pay for it." Jamie looked pleased with himself.

"That's awesome." Kyle beamed. "So have I convinced you to get your coffee here all the time?"

"Well, the view is definitely a draw." Jamie smiled slowly. "The coffee is excellent. And it's within a sensible distance of my office, so yeah, I think I'm sold on the place."