Missing (13 page)

Nathan was more frightened than he
should have been.

Something was wrong with Lynn, and she wouldn’t tell him
what it was.

The only thing he could do about it was cancel his afternoon
meeting and head over to his apartment as they’d arranged.

She’d implied that it wasn’t about their relationship,
although that would have been his first guess.

Which left
what
?

He hated not knowing, being so out of control.

Something was wrong with her. Maybe she'd been hurt. Maybe
she was in trouble. And there was nothing he could do except get home so he
could find out how to fix it.

He blew off the email he’d been composing, told his
assistant to cancel his afternoon, and left the office. It took a while for his
car to come around to the front of the building—since no one had expected him
to be leaving at this time of day—and it took even longer for the driver to
maneuver through the afternoon traffic to get him home.

By the time he arrived, his mind was whirling with
possibilities—all bad—and he had to force himself to remain calm.

The panic rose again when he saw Sam, the security guard
who’d been stationed at his private elevator for more than six years. The older
man looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“What’s wrong?” Nathan demanded, as Sam turned the key to
open the elevator doors. “What’s going on?”

“Good afternoon, sir,” Sam said. “Ms. Madison has already
arrived.”

Nathan clenched his jaw and got in the elevator, wondering
if Lynn was visibly injured and that was what Sam had reacted to.

Lynn had never been to his apartment before.

All in all, Nathan was not in a tranquil state of mind when
he finally made it into the spacious entry hall of his home. “Lynn!” he
demanded, his voice rougher than he’d intended. “Where are you?”

“No need to shout,” Her voice came from living room to the
right of the hall. Her voice was supposed to sound light and natural—he was
sure—but it was too stretched, too emotional. “I’m right here.”

She appeared in the entry hall, and Nathan strode over,
taking her face in his hands to study her. She looked all right—pale and like
she’d been crying but not sick or injured. Her hair was a mess. “Are you all
right?”

“Yes. I’m fine,” she said, her voice breaking. She reached
up and curled her fingers around his wrists, pulling his hands down from her
face. “I’m sorry if I scared you. It’s just…it’s just…”

She looked over her shoulder, into the living room, and Nathan
realized that someone had come with her.

He stared at the slim, dark-haired young woman in a lavender
sweater-set who was approaching from behind Lynn.

The little, wire-rimmed glasses shouldn’t be on her face.
That was his first thought.

The second was that her hair had gotten a lot longer,
halfway down her back now, almost as long as Ariana’s had been when they’d
married.

His third thought was that he was gripping Lynn’s hands so
tightly it must be hurting her, so he dropped his hands loosely by his side.

Lynn stepped away, to the side.

Nathan stared in a confused fog at his daughter—the last
thing he’d ever expected to confront this afternoon.

His lips parted but no sound came out. His throat wouldn’t
work. Neither would his brain. Even his eyes were getting hazy.

All of the urgency he’d been feeling about Lynn just emptied
out as he tried to process this shift, this shock, this battering ram of an
adjustment. His knees felt like they might buckle, but he managed to hold
himself still.

It was just about all he was capable of doing.

“Well?” Elizabeth prompted, after waiting for him to say
something. She didn’t look angry or happy or scared. Just…watchful.

“Elizabeth,” he managed to force out, his voice unfamiliar
to his own ears.

“It’s Beth now.”

Nathan didn’t understand that. He didn’t understand any of
this. And if he allowed himself to process the flood of emotion—shattering
relief, joy, bewilderment, resentment, fear—that was crouching like a predator
at the edge of his consciousness, he was absolutely certain he would lose it
completely.

So he kept it back. Didn’t process it. Didn’t acknowledge
the reality of what seemed to be happening here.

“Beth?” he repeated, trying to wrap his mind around what
that word meant.

She nodded.

He swallowed. He seemed to be able to breathe now, so he
did. He kept himself very still. “You’re…you’re all right?”

She nodded once more. “Yes. I’m fine.”

He tried to think. Vaguely remembered the most recent
discoveries of his investigation—the security footage from the bank, the money
deposited in the account for Mary Scots. “You’ve been in the city?” he asked,
hoping the words sounded at least faintly appropriate.

Something changed, got tenser, in her body and face, but he
couldn’t figure out what it was.  “Yes. I’ve been going to college for the last
two years.”

That didn’t make sense. She should have graduated high
school just a year ago. He looked at a blank space on the far wall, hoping it would
help him think. “You’re…nineteen.”

“I guess I should be glad you remember at least that much.”

She was angry with him, Nathan realized, but he couldn’t
figure out why. He didn’t know what was happening here, and if he said too
much, if he
moved
, he was going to simply collapse.

He looked to Lynn for help.

She said, “I know it’s a shock. But she’s here. She’s all
right. She wants to see you. Isn’t that good?” She smiled at him encouragingly,
but there was something else in her expression. Like she wanted him to do
something. But he didn’t know what he was supposed to do.

It was as much as he could do to not fall over.

“Yes. It’s good.” It sounded like a ridiculous thing to say,
since Elizabeth’s appearance here was the answer to his prayers, but it was true
and it was easy, so he said it.

Lynn’s face twisted with emotion, and she reached out toward
him, like she wanted to comfort him or something, but she stopped herself
before she did.

“This is a waste of time,” Elizabeth said, turning accusing
eyes to Lynn. “I told you.”

Nathan had no idea what that meant either.

“Beth, wait,” Lynn said urgently. “It’s a shock. Give him
some time—”

Elizabeth shook her head, picked up a satchel that had been
dropped in the hallway, and walked around his frozen body and toward the front
door.

And
that
Nathan understood.

The flood of emotion he’d been barely keeping at bay was
unleashed without warning as he watched her walking away. It slammed into him,
ripped him apart, leveled him.

But he wasn’t frozen anymore.

“No!” he cried out, his voice ludicrously desperate. He
caught up with her, grabbed her arm, spun her around. “No, baby, please! Don’t
leave me. Don’t leave me again!”

Elizabeth froze, staring up at him with huge, bewildered
eyes.

He was scaring her. He was the father. He shouldn’t be acting
this way. He simply couldn’t help it, though. He could feel her slipping away
from him again. His face contorted as he frantically tried to regain his
composure. “I can’t lose you again,” he rasped before he could stop himself.

They stared at each other silently for a long, aching
moment. Then something seemed to snap inside Elizabeth.

She burst into tears.

Nathan could hardly see, could hardly stand, couldn’t say
anything coherent. But his baby was crying and she was within arm’s reach, so
he pulled her into a tight hug.

Elizabeth hugged him back, sobbing into his shoulder. Maybe
he was sobbing too. He couldn’t tell.

It was a long time before he finally drew back, keeping one
hand on her arm so she wouldn’t slip away. “Can we sit down?” he asked. “Maybe
talk a little?”

She nodded, taking off her glasses so she could rub her
eyes.

They sat down next to each other on a brown leather sofa,
and Nathan was relieved to be in a position where his legs no longer had to
support him. He leaned forward slightly and tried to breathe.

"Are you all right?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes."

"Are you going to faint or something?"

"Maybe," he admitted, as he fought down a wave of
dizziness.

She choked on what might have been a laugh. "Me
too."

When he felt better, he glanced around and realized for the
first time that Lynn was no longer in the room.

“Lynn?” he called out. He stroked Elizabeth’s long hair back
from her tear-stained face to assure himself once again that she was real.

“Yeah,” Lynn said, appearing at one of the entrances to the
room. She looked like she’d been crying again. “I’m here. I just wanted to give
you some privacy.”

“No, it’s fine,” he said. He glanced over at Elizabeth, who
nodded her assent. “You can help explain what's going on.”

Lynn came over and sat on the other side of Nathan, and he
tried to think of a first question to ask his daughter.

He came up with something. And slowly, with a lot of pauses
and interruptions, Elizabeth explained what she’d been doing for the last two
years. Where she’d been living. How she’d been taking classes and interning at the
Cooler
. How Lynn had confronted her and why she’d decided to talk to him
today.

He managed to listen without much commentary, since he
wasn’t thinking clearly and was therefore at risk of saying something foolish
and upsetting Elizabeth.

The only dangerous point was when she explained about the
help Ariana had offered her. It took a moment for Nathan to believe that his
daughter was even speaking the truth—he’d always believed Ariana too silly,
shallow, and self-focused to exert herself in such a way.

But when he realized it was indeed her mother who had
encouraged and enabled Elizabeth to disappear, a surge of anger ripped through
him, so intense it almost pushed him to his feet.

Who knew what he would have said had Lynn not put a warning
hand on his thigh? He understood immediately what she was telling him, though.
She was right. Pouring out hostility on Elizabeth’s mother, whom the girl
genuinely believed was the one person who’d offered her support for the last
two years, was not the way to build bridges.

So Nathan made himself hold it in, push the fury aside for
another time.

He was just starting to feel more like himself—more in
control, less shaky—when a noise from the front door alerted him to something
he really should have prepared for.

Victoria. Who came home from school every afternoon at about
this time.

None of them had remembered, so there was no way to prepare
the girl for what was waiting in the living room.

Victoria walked down the hall, probably toward her bedroom,
and she happened to glance into the living room toward the couch where they
were sitting.

She paused, clearly surprised. “What’s going—?” She froze
when her eyes landed on her older sister.

Somebody should say something to help explain, but Nathan
couldn’t think of anything to say.

Victoria was still wearing her school uniform, and her hair
was pulled back in a low ponytail. She looked just as shocked and paralyzed as
he must have looked earlier.

“Hi, V,” Elizabeth said with a wobbly smile, using an old
nickname she’d had for her sister.

“You’re all right?” Victoria asked at last, her voice taut
but not shaky. “You’re not hurt.”

“I’m fine. I’m not hurt.”

“Where have you been?”

Elizabeth said, “Here. In the city. I’ve been going to
college.”

“Oh.” Victoria stared at her sister. While nothing was
evident in her expression or body language, Nathan started to get scared by
what he saw happening. After a long pause, Victoria said, her gaze growing
frighteningly hard, “So you
chose
to leave us.”

“Victoria,” Elizabeth began, her voice cracking. “I didn’t
want to—”

Victoria didn’t wait for her to respond. She ran down the
hall and toward her room.

“Oh, poor thing,” Lynn murmured, as Elizabeth made a choked
sound and got to her feet.

His chest aching, Nathan stood up too. “I’ll go talk to
her.”

“She hates me,” Elizabeth said, her face twisting with
emotion.

“She doesn’t hate you.” He was torn in more ways that he
could go. “She’s just upset. Let me talk to her.”

He saw Lynn move over to sit beside Elizabeth as he walked
slowly out of the room.

He paused, looking back anxiously before he reached the
hall.

“I won’t leave yet,” Elizabeth said, evidently reading his
expression. “I’ll be here.”

Nathan released his pent breath and kept walking toward his
other daughter.

Victoria had never talked much about Elizabeth’s
disappearance, but Nathan knew it had devastated her.  He could hardly blame
her for being angry about her sister’s running away. He was angry too—although
his anger was tempered by guilt and understanding.

Victoria was innocent, though, and her sister had abandoned
her.

He could hear her sobbing through the closed door of her
bedroom. He took a shaky breath, trying to breathe over the pain in his chest.

He knocked on the door.

“Go away!”

Nathan leaned his forehead against the door. He wasn’t any
good at being a father. He never seemed to know what to do, and he absolutely
hated feeling so helpless. “It’s me. Just me. Can I come in?”

After a long pause, he heard a muffled, “Okay,” through the
door.

He entered the room, shutting the door behind him. Victoria
was stretched out on her bed. She didn’t appear to be crying now, but her face
was buried in a pillow.

He walked over to sit on the edge of the bed beside her and
reached out to stroke her dark ponytail.