Missing (24 page)

‘I’m leaving fairly soon, and so far no one seems to know I’m here. Apart from Justine, of course, but she doesn’t know my movements, and the sanctuary’s pretty well tucked away in the next valley.’

‘Someone’s bound to phone in a tip-off.’

‘By which time I should be long gone. Anyway, it’s not my biggest concern right now. Miles is.’

‘What’ll you do if he insists on seeing Rufus?’

‘I’ll have to let him, of course. How can I not?’

‘You should make him wait until all this is over.’

‘Actually, I think he might anyway. He won’t be any keener than I am to expose Rufus to the kind of media attention any contact between them is likely to create.’ Her eyes closed at the mere thought of it. ‘Oh God, Alice,’ she groaned, ‘to think that having a son could backfire on him like this, making it look as though …’
She
shook her head. ‘I can’t go there. It’s too horrible, the way they’re thinking.’

‘But you told them he’d only just found out.’

‘Of course, but they’ve only got my word for it, and clearly that wasn’t enough to call off the search. I can only hope that Jacqueline sees what’s going on and comes forward to stop it. Have you been watching the news? Is it getting much coverage?’

‘Quite a bit, but there’s not a lot to see. Just some shots of the gates, and the police coming and going. Divers are dragging the lake, apparently, but they haven’t shown that yet.’

‘They can drag all they like, they won’t find anything,’ Vivienne said heatedly.

Alice’s response was too slow in coming.

‘Oh for God’s sake, not you too!’ Vivienne cried. ‘He hasn’t done anything to hurt her. If anything it’s the other way round, she’s doing this to hurt him.’ She looked up as another car pulled into the stable yard, and waved when she saw it was Sharon. ‘This is such terrible timing,’ she said angrily into the phone. ‘It’s not supposed to be about anything other than this poor girl and her family, but what chance do we stand of that now?’

‘Not much, but Pete’s happy to help run it with you, which means you can keep a low profile. The really important thing is to make sure the press stays away from Rufus, because it would be too much for your mother to handle if they start descending on her. Do you think the police will stick to their word and not leak it?’

‘Who knows? I guess it depends on what happens in the next couple of days. And on how cooperative Miles is being. They turned on him once before over Sam,
now
it’s happening again … Oh God, I can hardly bear it. If they knew him, if they had any idea what he’s really like, what he’s been through all these years …’ She stopped as a terrible thought suddenly clawed at her heart. ‘Alice, you don’t think they’ll open up the case about Sam again, do you?
Please
don’t say yes.’

‘I guess it’s a possibility,’ Alice said tentatively. ‘I don’t really know how these things work.’

‘I have to go over there. He needs me.’

‘Don’t be crazy. You can’t with everyone camped out at his gates. Think of Rufus.’

Vivienne sighed. ‘It’s just … Oh, I don’t know. If you could have seen his face when he found that picture last night. What have I done to him, Alice? I’ve made him miss all those months of Rufus’s life.’

‘He’ll understand, eventually. He probably already does, but with everything else that’s going on …’

‘I hope you’re right. Anyway, I suppose I’d better go now. I’m meeting the firemen and choreographer at twelve, so I’ll call you later, when I get to my mother’s.’

As she rang off she put on a big smile for Sharon, who was coming towards her. ‘How are you today?’ she asked, looking into the young woman’s anxious eyes.

‘I think it’s me who should be asking you that,’ Sharon answered. ‘I just heard one of them on the radio saying about how you was with Mr Avery last night.’

Vivienne tensed. Clearly Justine hadn’t wasted any time over that. ‘Well, just as long as no one knows I’m here,’ she said, linking Sharon’s arm as they started towards the barn.

‘Trouble is,’ Sharon said, ‘someone’s bound to tell ’em. Eileen, or Lizzie or someone. What I’m saying is, well, if there’s anything I can do. I mean, I don’t want
to
give meself airs and graces, or nothing, but I knows my way around here. I used to work in Chudleigh.’

‘Then maybe you can give me a route to the dual carriageway that won’t take me in the direction of Moorlands.’

Sharon screwed up her eyes in thought. ‘Shouldn’t be a problem,’ she said, and looked up to see what all the increased noise was about. ‘Blimey, there’s at least six of ’em now,’ she muttered, as a small fleet of helicopters passed overhead.

Vivienne was looking up too, her heart churning with the fear that something sinister had spurred an increase in police activity. However, she soon realised that what she was watching was the arrival of the airborne press.

Miles heard the knock on his study door, but didn’t turn round as it opened and Mrs Davies came in carrying a tray of coffee. She was a neat, dumpy little woman with spiky grey hair and gentle eyes that regarded him uncertainly as he continued to stand staring out of the window at all that was happening in his garden and the woods beyond. It was a nightmare; like watching a plague of locusts at work, or a gang of rapacious vandals.

‘I thought you might be in need,’ she said, going to put the tray on his desk.

‘Thank you,’ he replied. His skin seemed sallow, and there was a pale line around his mouth showing the strain he was under, while a sleepless night showed in his eyes. ‘Has Kelsey come out of her room yet?’ he asked, still watching the activity outside.

‘I’m afraid not.’

Knowing she’d be watching from her window he
was
tempted to go and force her door, since she was refusing to let him in. Feeling certain, however, that it would make matters worse, he decided to give her a while longer to come down.

‘Is Tom still with the detectives?’ he asked, referring to the gardener.

‘Yes. I took some coffee in there too. Will you eat something now? I’ve brought biscuits, but I can …’

‘I’m fine, thank you.’ Turning, he said, ‘This can’t be very pleasant for you, so I want you to know I’ll understand if you feel you want to leave.’

Her eyes widened with astonishment. ‘Why would I want to do that?’ she retorted. ‘You and Kelsey need someone to take care of you, especially now.’

With a smile of gratitude he said, ‘I hope your own interview with the police wasn’t too arduous.’

‘There wasn’t anything I could tell them that I hadn’t told them before,’ she replied, sounding defensive and peeved that anyone might think she was going to change her story just because some new information had come to light. Though she had to admit it had come as a bit of a shock when the police had asked if she’d known Miles had a fifteen-month-old son, because she definitely hadn’t.

‘I didn’t know Miss Kane,’ she said hesitantly, but feeling she had to mention it. ‘She was here before I joined you, but I …’ She stopped as he turned back to the window. ‘I’m just saying,’ she went on valiantly, ‘that if you’d rather I didn’t mention anything about the little boy, you know, to the press—’

‘Thank you,’ he interrupted. ‘For the child’s sake it would be better if you kept it to yourself.’

She began winding her fingers around one another, while looking awkwardly about the book-lined room. ‘
Well,
you knows where I am if you need anything,’ she said.

He nodded, and only when he heard the door close behind her did he leave the window and go to fill a cup from the cafetière she’d brought in.

The anger and frustration inside him was deeply buried, held back by an iron control, along with the other terrible emotions that continued to torment him, as they had through the night. Finding out he had a son and that Vivienne had never told him was almost as hard to bear as all the other insanity that was consuming his world. Never would he have dreamt she’d do that to him. She should have trusted him, for God’s sake. She should have told him the moment she knew she was pregnant. More than anyone he’d have understood her concerns, and she surely couldn’t think he’d ever have allowed anyone to harm their son.

His eyes closed as the image of Kelsey, aged twelve, drugged and slumped awkwardly on the bed, slipped into his mind. It was one he would never forget; nor would he ever stop tormenting himself with what might have happened if something had delayed him that day and he hadn’t come home in time. That Jacqueline could have done that to her own daughter … No matter that it was an isolated act to try and manipulate him when she wasn’t in her right mind, it was enough to make anyone afraid of how far she might go when confronted by the prospect of him leaving, particularly if she ever found out he had a child – a son – by someone else. It had long been her greatest fear.

But Vivienne should have trusted him, goddamit!

Stifling another surge of anger, he drained his cup, replaced it on the tray and went back to the window.
The
divers were up again now, either standing on the bank, or sitting in the small boat they’d brought with them. Considering the lack of urgency he guessed nothing of much consequence was happening, nor did the combing of the lawns and garden beds seem to be sparking much excitement. What was going on in the bottom woods or overhead was impossible to tell, though the helicopters had moved some way off now, hovering closer to the moor. This morning’s shoot in the top woods had been cancelled due to the search, which had no doubt infuriated the gamekeepers, who depended on the sport for their livelihood. He was sorry, but there was nothing he could do about it, though he guessed he’d be blamed and even, possibly, approached for compensation.

Thankfully the gates weren’t visible from here, but it wasn’t difficult to imagine the media bandwagon that had undoubtedly set up camp down there. His movements were going to be severely restricted over the coming days, he realised, unless he wanted to confront the unruly army of reporters with their microphones, tape recorders and cameras.

Hearing the door open again, he looked round and to his relief saw it was Kelsey. ‘Are you OK?’ he asked gently, seeing how pinched her face was.

She nodded and went to the small leather sofa, where she sat down cross-legged and bunched her hands in front of her, her eyes fixed on them sightlessly.

‘Have you had any breakfast?’ he said.

She shook her head.

He knew he should raise the subject of her returning to school, but now wasn’t the time when there were other, more urgent matters they needed to discuss.

An uneasy silence lingered as he considered how to
broach
the subject of Rufus. God knew he was finding it hard enough to come to terms with himself, so how was it going to be for her, on top of all this other madness in her life? However, if he didn’t break it to her now, it was inevitable that the police or someone else would, by the end of the day.

‘They think you did it, don’t they?’ she said, her voice tight with a resentment that seemed to border on accusation.

Forcing himself past the anger he felt towards the police and press who’d put the suspicion in her head, he said, ‘Yes, it seems like it, but they’re wrong, of course, and we have to remember, we don’t even know if she’s …’ Unable to utter the word, he left the sentence unfinished.

She looked up, and seeing the anguish behind the antagonism in her eyes he felt an overpowering need to hold her, as though his embrace might keep her safe from all the terrible blows life could inflict. Yet here he was on the verge of delivering yet one more.

‘What is it?’ she challenged, suddenly seeming angry and afraid. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, drawing a hand over his unshaven jaw, ‘I didn’t realise …’ Picking up a chair, he carried it over to the sofa and sat down in front of her.

‘Why are you sitting there?’ she cried, drawing back.

‘Darling, there’s something I have to tell you,’ he said gently. ‘I tried last night when I came home …’

Her face reddened as she turned quickly away. Clearly she didn’t want to be reminded of how she’d told him to fuck off and die when he’d knocked on her door.

‘It seems,’ he began. ‘Well, the fact is …’

Her head came round, and seeing her panicky tears he struggled to prevent his own. ‘Oh Dad, please don’t tell me anything horrible,’ she begged. ‘I didn’t mean what I said last night. I was just mad and …’

‘It’s all right,’ he soothed, taking her hand.

‘No it’s not,’ she choked, grabbing it back. ‘Oh God, I don’t want this to be happening. I want it all to go away.’

‘I know, sweetheart,’ he said, and moving to sit beside her he pulled her head onto his shoulder, ‘and it will soon, I promise.’

‘Are you going to tell me something about Mum?’ she asked, and he could feel the tension in her body as she braced herself.

He started to answer, but she looked up at him and her face crumpled. ‘Oh no, please don’t say … You didn’t … Oh my God, you’ll have to go to prison and …’

‘Sssh,’ he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. ‘No, of course I didn’t do it, and I’m sure Mum’s fine. What I have to say isn’t about her.’

‘Then what?’

‘Well, I’m afraid it’s probably not going to be easy for you to hear, but before I tell you, I want you to know how much you mean to me.’

‘What is it?’ she cried. ‘Just tell me. Oh Dad, I’m really scared now.’

Cursing himself for how badly he was handling this, he said, ‘I’m sorry. There’s no need to be afraid, I promise. It’s just that … Well, apparently after Vivienne and I broke up …’

She drew back sharply, her eyes smouldering with protest.

Hiding his dismay at the hostility Vivienne’s name had provoked, he said, ‘Darling, I … Well, it …’ Realising there was no other way than to come right out with it, he said, ‘Vivienne and I have a son.’

Her face started to freeze with shock.

‘I only found out myself last night,’ he went on. ‘If I’d known sooner, believe me, it’s not something I’d have kept from you, but it’s important that I tell you now, before it gets into the papers, or you find out some other way.’