Mistborn: The Hero of Ages (13 page)

"Yes," Breeze said. "It will be nice when those return. "

"Return?"

Breeze shrugged. "Well, the Church of the Survivor teaches that Vin will someday cleanse the sky of ash and the air of mists. I figure while she's at it, she might as well bring back the plants and the flowers. Seems like a suitably feminine thing to do, for some reason." Sazed sighed, shaking his head. "Lord Breeze," he said, "I realize that you are simply trying to encourage me. However, I have serious trouble believing that
you
accept the teachings of the Church of the Survivor."

Breeze hesitated. Then, he smiled. "So I overdid it a bit, did I ? "

"A tad."

"It's difficult to tell with you, my dear man. You're so aware of my touch on your emotions that I can't use much Allomancy, and you've been so . . . well, different lately." Breeze's voice grew wistful.

"Still, it would be nice to see those green plants our Kelsier always spoke of. After six months of ash .

. . well, it makes a man at least want to believe. Perhaps that's enough for an old hypocrite like me." The sense of despair inside Sazed wanted to snap that simply believing wasn't enough. Wishing and believing hadn't gotten him anywhere. It wouldn't change the fact that the plants were dying and the world was ending.

It wasn't worth fighting, because nothing meant anything.

Sazed forced himself to stop that line of thought, but it was diff icult. He worried, sometimes, about his melancholy. Unfortunately, much of the time, he had trouble summoning even the effort to care about his own pessimistic bent.

The Larsta, he told himself. Focus on that religion. You need to
make a decision
. Breeze's comments had set Sazed thinking. The Larsta focused so much on beauty and art as being

"divine." Well, if divinity was in any way related to art, then a god
couldn 't
in any way be involved in what was happening to the world. The ash, the dismal, depressing landscape . . . it was more than just

"unimaginative," as Breeze had put it. It was completely insipid. Dull. Monotonous. Religion not true, Sazed wrote at the bottom of the paper.
Teachings are directl y contradicted by
observed events
.

He undid the straps on his portfolio and slipped the sheet in, one step closer to having gone through all of them. Sazed could see Breeze watching out of the corner of his eye; the S oother loved secrets. Sazed doubted the man would be all that impressed if he discovered what the work was really about. Either way, Sazed just wished that Breeze would leave him alone when it came to these studies.

. 30 201

I shouldn't be curt with him, though,
Sazed thought. He knew the Soother was, in his own way, just trying to help. Breeze had changed since they'd first met. Early on despite glimmers of compassion Breeze really had been the selfish, callous manipulator that he now only pretended to be. Sazed suspected that Breeze had j oined Kelsier's team not out of a desire to help the skaa, but because of the challenge the scheme had presented, not to mention the rich reward Kelsier had promised. That reward the Lord Ruler's atium cache had proven to be a myth. Breeze had found other rewards instead.

Up ahead, S azed noticed someone moving through the ash. The f igure wore black, but against the field of ash, it was easy to pick out even a hint of flesh tone. It appeared to be one of their scouts. Captain Goradel called the line to a halt, then sent a man forward to meet the scout. S azed and Breeze waited patiently. "Scout report, Lord Ambassador," Captain Goradel said, walking up to S azed's horse a short time later. " The emperor's army is just a few hills away less than an hour."

"Good," Sazed said, relishing the thought of seeing something other than the dreary hills of black.

"They've apparently seen us, L ord Ambassador," Goradel said. "Riders are approaching. In fact, they are "

"Here," Sazed said, nodding into the near distance, where he saw a rider crest the hill. This one was very easy to pick out against the black. Not only was it moving very quickly actually galloping its poor horse along the road but it was also pink.

"Oh, dear," Breeze said with a sigh.

The bobbing f igure resolved into a young woman with golden hair, wearing a bright pink dress one that made her look younger than her twenty-something years. Allrianne had a fondness for lace and frills, and she tended to wear colors that made her stand out. Sazed might have expected someone like her to be a poor equestrian. Allrianne, however, rode with easy mastery, something one would need in order to remain on the back of a galloping horse while wearing such a f rivolous dress. The young woman reared her horse up in front of Sazed's soldiers, spinning the animal in a flurry of ruffled fabric and golden hair. About to dismount, she hesitated, eyeing the half-foot-deep layer of ash on the ground.

"Allrianne ? " Breeze asked after a moment of silence.

"Hush," she said. "I'm trying to decide if it's worth getting my dress dirty to scamper over and hug you."

"We could wait until we get back to the camp . . ."

"I couldn't embarrass you in front of your soldiers that way," she said.

"Technically, my dear," Breeze said, "they're not my soldiers at all, but S azed's." Reminded of S azed's presence, Allrianne looked up. She smiled prettily toward Sazed, then bent herself in a horseback version of a curtsy. "Lord Ambassador," she said, and Sazed f elt a sudden and unnatural fondness f or the young lady. She was Rioting him. If there was anyone more brazen with their Allomantic powers than Breeze, it was Allrianne.

"Princess," Sazed said, nodding his head to her.

Finally, Allrianne made her de cision and slipped off the horse. She didn't quite "scamper" instead, she held up her dress in a rather unladylike fashion. It would have been immodest if she hadn't been wearing what appeared to be several layers of lace petticoats underneath.

Eventually, Captain Goradel c ame over and helped her up onto Breeze's horse so that she was sitting in the saddle in front of him. The two had never been officially married partially, perhaps, because Breeze felt embarrassed to be in a relationship with a woman so much younger than himself. When pressed on the issue, Breeze had explained that he didn't want to leave her as a widow when he died something he seemed to assume would happen immediately, though he was only in his mid-forties. We'll
all die soon, the way things are going,
Sazed thought.
Our ages do not matter
. Perhaps that was part of why Breeze had f inally accepted having a relationship with Allrianne. Either way, it was obvious from the way he looked at her from the way he held her with a delicate, almost reverent touch that he loved her very much.

Our social structure is breaking down, Sazed thought as the column began to march again.
Once, the
off icial stamp of a marriage would have been essential, especiall y in a relationship involving a
young woman of her rank
.

And yet, who was there to be "off icial" for now? The obligators
were all but extinct. Elend and Vin's government was a thing of w artime necessity a utilitarian, martially organized alliance of cities. And looming over it all was the growing awareness that something was seriously wrong with the world. Why bother to get married if you expected the world would end before the year was out?

Sazed shook his head. This was a time when people needed structure needed
faith
to keep them going. He should have been the one to give it to them. The Church of the Survivor tried, but it was too new, and its adherents were too inexperienced with religion. Already there were arguments about doctrine and methodology, and each city of the New Empire was developing its own mutant variant of the religion.

In the past, Sazed had taught religions without f eeling a need to believe in each one. He'd accepted each as being special in its own way, and offered them up, as a waiter might serve an appetizer he himself didn't feel like eating.

Doing so now seemed hypocritical to Sazed. If this people needed f aith, then he should not be the one to give it to them. He would not teach lies, not anymore. Sazed splashed his face with the basin's cold water, en j oying the pleasurable shock. The water dribbled down his cheeks and chin, carrying with it stains of ash. He dried his face with a clean towel, then took out his razor and mirror so that he could shave his head properly.

"Why do you keep doing that?" asked an unexpected voice .

Sazed spun. His tent in the camp had been empty just moments before. Now, however, someone stood behind him. Sazed smiled. "Lady Vin." She folded her arms, raising an eyebrow. She had always moved stealthily, but she was getting so good that it amazed even him. She'd barely rustled the tent f lap with her entrance. She wore her standard shirt and trousers, after male fashion, though during the last two years she had grown her raven hair to a f eminine shoulder length. There had been a time when Vin had seemed to crouch wherever she went, always trying to hide, rarely looking others in the eye . That had changed. She was still easy to miss, with her quiet w ays, thin figure, and small stature. She now always looked people in the eye, however.

And that made a big difference .

"General Demoux said that you were resting, Lady Vin," Sazed noted.

"Demoux knows better than to let me sleep through your arrival."

Sazed smiled to himself, then gestured toward a chair so that she could sit.

"You can keep shaving," she said. "It's all right."

"Please," he said, gesturing again.

Vin sighed, taking the seat. "You never answered my question, S aze," she said. "Why do you keep wearing those steward's robes? Why do you keep your head shaved, after the fashion of a Terris servant? Why worry about showing disrespect by shaving while I'm here? You're not a servant anymore."

He sighed, carefully seating himself in the chair across from Vin. "I'm not exactly sure what I am anymore, Lady Vin."

The tent walls flapped in a gentle breeze, a bit of ash blowing in through the door, which Vin hadn't tied closed behind herself. She frowned at his comment. "You're Sazed."

"Emperor Venture's chief ambassador."

"No," Vin said. "That might be what you
do,
but that's not what you
are
. "

"And what am I, then? "

"Sazed," she repeated. "Keeper of Terris."

"A Keeper who no longer wears his copperminds?"

Vin glanced toward the corner, toward the trunk where he kept them. His copperminds, the Feruchemical storages that contained the religions, histories, stories, and legends of peoples long dead. It all sat waiting to be taught, waiting to be added to. "I fear that I have become a very selfish man, Lady Vin," Sazed said quietly. "That's silly," Vin said. " You've spent your entire life serving others. I know of nobody more selfless than you."

"I do appreciate that sentiment," he said. "But I f ear that I must disagree. Lady Vin, we are not a people new to sorrow. You know better than anyone here, I think, the hardships of life in the Final Empire. We have all lost people dear to us. And yet, I seem to be the only one unable to get over my loss. I feel childish. Yes, Tindwyl is dead. In all honesty, I did not have much time with her before she did pass. I have no reason to feel as I do.

"Still, I cannot wake up in the morning and not see darkness ahead of me. When I place the metalminds upon my arms, my skin feels cold, and I remember time spent with her. Life lacks all hope . I should be able to move on, but I cannot. I am weak of will, I think."

"That just isn't true, Sazed," Vin said.

"I must disagree."

"Oh?" Vin asked. "And if you really were weak of will, would you be able to disagree with me ?" Sazed paused, then smiled. "When did you get so good at logic?"

"Living with Elend," Vin said with a sigh. "If you prefer irrational arguments, don't marry a scholar."
I almost did
. The thought came to Sazed unbidden, but it quieted his smile nonetheless. Vin must have noticed, for she cringed slightly.

"Sorry," she said, looking away.

"It is all right, Lady Vin," Saze d said. "I just . . . I f eel so weak. I cannot be the man my people wish me to be. I am, perhaps, the very last of the Keepers. It has been a year since the Inquisitors attacked my homeland, killing even the child Feruchemists, and we have seen no evidence that others of my sect survived. Others were out of the city, certainly and inevitably, but either Inquisitors found them or other tragedy did. There has certainly been enough of that lately, I think." Vin sat with her hands in her lap, looking uncharacteristically weak in the dim light. Sazed frowned at the pained expression on her face. "Lady Vin?" . 31 201

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that . . . you've always been the one who gives advice, Sazed. But, now what I need advice about is you."

"There is no advice to give, I fe ar."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"We found the stockpile," Vin said. "The next-to-last cavern. I made a copy for you of the words we found, etched in a thin sheet of steel so they'll be safe." "Thank you." Vin sat, looking uncertain. "You're not going to look at it, are you?" Sazed paused, then shook his head. "I do not know ."

"I can't do this alone, Sazed," Vin whispered. "I can't f ight it by myself. I
need
you." The tent grew quiet. "I . . . am doing what I can, Lady Vin," S azed f inally said. "In my own way. I must find answers f or myself before I can provide them to anyone else. Still, have the etching delivered to my tent. I promise that I will at least look at it."

She nodded, then stood. "Elend's having a meeting tonight. To plan our next moves. He wants you there." She trailed a faint perfume as she moved to leave. She paused beside his chair. "There w as a time," she said, " after I'd taken the power at the Well of Ascension, when I thought Elend would die

."

"But he did not," S azed said. "He lives still."

"It doesn't matter," Vin said. "I thought him dead. I knew he was dying I held that power, Sazed, power
you can't imagine
. Power you'll never be able to imagine. The power to destroy worlds and remake them anew. The power to see and to understand. I saw him, and I knew he would die. And knew I held the power in my hands to save him."