Mister Distraction (Distraction #2) (2 page)

William was pale after the performance; he could have been that way all along, but I was too selfish to pay any attention. I was an ass for keeping him from his family any longer. I asked Dave to take William home and told William I would follow in his car. I just needed a little time, alone. My thoughts were dark and lacked any clarity. Dave spoke a little before leaving but I didn’t hear anything he said. My head was all fucked up. Why would I go home when, I didn’t have Jacy? My world was without a forever; and what I felt was the need to make the person who did this pay. That was all that mattered. When I squeezed my eyes shut and see Jacy on the stretcher devastation took over the rage.
I never wished for death before but right now, I wished for death. The pain of not having hope for the future was too bleak and I wanted the easy way out instead of feeling…lost. When they left, I snuck back inside and made my way to the back until I found them. From a distance, I observed the old man and the blue fairy talking. She nodded at his words and I think I saw her give him a small smile before he left. He used the assistance of both body guards one on each side and appeared white as a ghost when he moved toward the exit.

I followed her limo home that night. She lived in a mansion behind a gated driveway. So once the vehicle disappeared, she was gone. I sat in the car, my hands viciously gripping the steering wheel. I couldn’t control my need to squeeze the life out of something. I didn’t know what to do. My phone kept ringing, but my vision still had red spots and I needed longer to clear my head. I let out a couple long sighs, resigning myself to the fact that I needed to go home and face reality.

Movement from out the corner of my eye distracted me; it was a small figure on a bike. I turned my car around and followed the petite silhouette down two blocks until she reached an ice cream parlor. I pulled in after her as she leaned her small bike against the outside of the building. I parked and hopped out, anxious to meet this little creature that was so important, that the death of my Jacy didn’t prevent the old man from attending her dance show. I cautiously walked by her and held the door as she made her way inside. It looked casual and appeared to everyone inside that we were together. I attempted to swallow the huge lump in my throat.

“So what’s good here?” I asked her, but she didn’t talk. What the fuck? She wasn’t going to ignore me. I tapped her impatiently on the shoulder, and nothing happened. I cleared my throat and spoke a little louder.

“I have never been here and you seem to know the place.” She peered up through her long eyelashes and I lost my ability to breathe. Her eyes were big and blue, and there was a mixture of sorrow and annoyance in them. I instantly forgot my purpose for being there and debated bolting. Her head fell back towards the floor and she remained silent. My hand started to shake and I quickly shoved them in the pockets of my
sweatshirt. I eyed the tiny, blue-eyed creature before me to take my mind off this fucked up day. She wore jeans and a black hoodie, her black hair spilling out the sides of the hood before her tiny hands reached up and she pushed the hood down completely. When she reached the front of the line, she spoke to the clerk only.

“I want two large hot fudge sundaes with the letters K and J cookies on the side. I also want two waters.” The lady listened, entering everything into her register before turning to me.

“That will be $16 and 80 cents.” I glanced at the girl and then the lady, confused. I then pulled out my money and handed her a twenty.

Blue eyes made her way to the back of the restaurant. She sat at a round table and I snagged a seat across from her. It was uncomfortably quiet between us and she flashed her eyes at me again. Her face was expressionless, yet her eyes held pain and sadness. I couldn’t look away. It was like knowing a train accident was going to happen, but not being able to move or look away from it. She dropped her eyes, organizing her silverware. She took her napkin out and opened it, placing it over her small lap. Her movements were stiff and proper. The way she smoothed her napkin on her lap made me think she had done that same action a million times. She peered up at me again after straightening her silverware for the third time. Her eyes made me feel uneasy and nervous, like she could see directly into my soul.

“I lost someone today,” I blurted out, but her face didn’t change at all. It just remained expressionless. “She was my girlfriend…my forever.” I paused as devastation surges through me. I bit my tongue hard trying to suppress the complete loss of what my future was supposed to be. I pressed the surfacing tears down giving myself a stomachache. I wouldn’t cry, I repeated in my head I wouldn’t cry right here, right now. I needed to be strong, I needed to be angry, anger was something that I could focus on; anger blocked all vulnerability, anger was intimidating. I closed my eyes blocking out the inner voices wishing I was closer to a brick wall where I could bang my head a few times to stop the head talk. I continued to ramble trying hard to explain my hurt, my anger and I wasn’t sure who I was justifying it to her or me. “We were supposed to get married.” She blinked and it was a slow blink. Her eyes shifted away,
but landed back on mine. “I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I can’t control anything. It’s like my world is spinning out of control and I can’t stop it.” Again, I watched as she repeated the slow motion blink and peered up at me with lifeless eyes.

Our ice creams arrived after that and I studied her as she ate. She grabbed a straw, slipped the wrapper off, and then slowly placed it into her water. Everything she did was precise, planned. She was methodical in every action. Her long hair fell forward slightly as she leaned in to take a long drink, and then she placed the straw on a napkin next to her fork. We ate in silence. She would look at me occasionally, but it was weird, empty almost. She stopped halfway through and began eating her K cookie. When she was done, she removed the napkin from her lap, folded it neatly, and placed it by her plate. She stood up and nodded at me. I pushed away from the table, grabbing my untouched J cookie. I followed her to her bike.

“Why J? How come you picked this cookie for me?”

She paused, her eyes traveling to the J cookie then to my eyes. “It’s my favorite letter.” She lifted her arm to take her hoodie off. Her undershirt lifted up in the process and I saw marks, dark blue and black bruises on her back and side. I flinched at the sight. My face was frozen in shock, looking at the spots on her, until she removed her hoodie and tied it around her waist.

“It doesn’t hurt, J.” She paused until my eyes connected with hers. “It never did. I’m numb.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but couldn’t. “Would you like a twelve-year-old’s advice, J?” I just nodded, rubbing the back of my neck, feeling nauseated all over again. “Pretend,” she said clearly, but I was still confused. “Pretend you have control.”

I repeated out loud, “Pretend.” I stared at her as she climbed onto her bike.

“How long do I pretend?”

She gave me a small smile, one that touched her sad eyes before she answered, “You pretend, until you don’t have to pretend anymore. Until, you are what you pretend to be.” She turned around after that and disappeared under the streetlights. I looked down at my J cookie, crumbled in my hand. My mind focused on her words: “Pretend you have control.”

Chapter One

“Excuse me,” I said rather loudly as I gave the guy trying to move his cart in front of mine a look that had him jolting back.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t see you,” he said and I only grunt as I moved past him. I was in the grocery store after working a straight 12 hours on my Sunday. I worked as a veterinarian in a clinic in a low-income part of town, so I saw quantity and not necessarily quality of animal owners. It was both mentally and physical exhausting. It was either shop on a weekend at noon or go home to an empty fridge and waking up eating my sock. I just needed the staples: eggs, milk, and cereal. I knew if I didn’t get out of here soon, I was going to beat the shit out of someone. The clerk started ringing up my items as she looked at me, smiling. I gave her my most seductive smile. I had it down to an art. I waited for the moment she knew I was flirting with my flashing green eyes. I knew she was close to the realization and watched as a giggle and the bright red cheeks took over her face. She began babbling after that, nothing making any sense. I found it amusing. I winked at her after I paid, grabbed my groceries, and headed to my Jeep.

I was happy to finally reach my spacious apartment. I needed breakfast and space away from people since I was feeling aggressive. I rolled my head on my shoulders, trying to loosen up a little before entering. I used my key and took a deep breath before I entered. Bo, my very large beast of a dog, was the first to greet me. He was a Rottweiler on the
outside and a playful Lab on the inside. He was the scariest looking dog I could find, but beneath the rough appearance was a loveable mutt. I brushed past him and set the groceries on the counter. I grabbed Bo’s breakfast and slowly staggered out of pure fatigue to the outside patio area to feed him. I scanned the apartment and gave Bo praise for taking care of the place. He was an awesome dog. I normally take him to work with me, except on the weekends at the animal clinic and he couldn’t come. I left the patio door open and made my way in to put away the groceries when I saw Bettina. She was already in the kitchen. Bettina was my “live in”, that’s the only way I can describe her. She lived in my apartment. We hated each other and it worked. Some people had a better half, a person that made them want to be better. I had Bettina she made me forget how miserable I was because with her I was always too angry to feel anything other than aggressive and dominant.

“So you visit with that dog first?” I could tell she was in the mood to fight. Her lip curled when she said “that dog.”

“Bettina, Bo has to eat. I was only feeding him. Did you take him for a walk while I was at work?” I talked as I put the eggs and milk in the fridge.

“No, I hate that dog. I wanted a little dog, one I could hold, and you bought me that.” She pointed at Bo. It was true; she wanted a toy poodle and I bought a dog that would protect her when I was gone.

“Well I’ll have to take him for a walk after breakfast then.” She gave me a foul look.

“Are you punishing me?” Her voice was snide and I wanted to smack the look off her face. I retreated to the bedroom instead, not acknowledging the way she always made me feel. Normally I would stifle her outburst immediately, but my mental capacity to take on her bitter word was failing, more lately than it ever has. I used to enjoy a little hateful fight that led to a rough fuck, but I didn’t trust my anger lately, my control wasn’t like it used to be. I was growing careless and my focus was lacking. I put on some shorts, a tank top, and my running shoes. I was so fatigued from not eating and lack of sleep that it took me a little longer than normal.

When I returned to the kitchen, Bettina was over the sink pouring my milk out. My feet took off in a sprint and I grabbed the milk from her hand. “What the fuck, Bettina?”

“Maybe while you’re out you can stop by the store and get some milk.” She laughed an evil laugh. Her stunts that she pulled were increasing and just like an unruly child if you don’t nip the behavior right away it grows into an ugly beast and that was Bettina lately. Acting out was her specialty but lately it turned spiteful and where it was always mean, it was turning vengeful and wicked. The look in her squinted eyes and her deceitful laugh causing me to break, becoming the animal she craved right before her eyes. Anger was at the forefront now and there was no reasoning with anger. I reached in the junk drawer and pulled out two long zip-ties and a bungee cord. I wrapped her hands together in a hand towel lying next to the sink and zip-tied her hands together around the towel. I moved so fast she didn’t have time to pull away. The sound of the zip-tie tightening soothed my inner Dom causing me to grit my teeth together in pleasure, finally a relief. Nothing was sexier to me than a tied down woman. The control that I craved for everything in my life including this insane woman, took over my body, like a drug and it was welcoming. It was the point I relished the most, my high on life.