Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set (13 page)

He picked up the box of chocolates and the bag he'd abandoned earlier, handing them to her with a wry grin. "Kimber craved chocolate a lot after she had Alexis so I thought maybe. . . And the outfit, I let Alexis pick out. She says all the kids at school miss their favorite teacher."

"I miss them all, too. It sucks that I'll only have a month back before they're out for summer. I thought about working at a daycare, taking Nathan with me, but Paul put his foot down again.” She glanced at her son, who was beginning to stir.

"I guess I'd better go. Goodbye Sierra."

He moved to her side, brushing the lightest of kisses across her cheek.

"Goodbye Luke."

She watched him walk out the door, get into his car and drive away.

Her legs were a little unsteady as she crossed to the bassinet, picking up her son who was now starting to cry, letting her know that he was hungry.

"It's okay, baby," Sierra said soothingly, though she wanted to cry herself at the moment.

Chapter 21

Life went on much as it had after that, though Paul calmed down some after his mother's visit when she chided him for hanging over Sierra's shoulder while she gave their son a bath.

They had both survived the visit to her mother's house and the time was growing closer for her to go back to work.

She had started to lay Nathan in the bassinet in their room Thursday night when he stopped her, putting a hand on her arm.

"He can sleep in the nursery tonight. We shouldn't be letting that expensive crib that my Mom bought go to waste. And besides, I want to make love to my wife."

He took their sleeping son gently from her arms.

She was still standing there beside the bed when he returned. "Sierra baby. What's wrong? Don't you want to make love?"

"It's not that Paul."

"Then what is it?" He took her face in his hands, giving her what started out as a gentle kiss but which soon turned hungry as she felt his tongue probing at her lips.

She was racked with guilt then, and as he started to undress her, she opened her mouth, wanting to tell him about Luke, about what she'd done.

But she shut her mouth quickly.  This is what she'd wanted for so long.  For her husband to make love to her, to want her as much as she'd always wanted him.

As she lay in his arms that night she knew what she had to do. As soon as Paul went to work the next morning, she was going to retrieve the engagement ring that Luke had given her from its hiding spot, shoved to the back of her underwear drawer, and she was going to get rid of it.

She wasn't sure how she'd hidden it from him this long, but it didn't matter anymore. Her husband had reached out to her tonight. She thought that with work and a little patience on her part, probably a lot of patience really she thought, she could make her marriage work.

Paul wasn't Luke.  She had to stop thinking that there was any way that she could turn her uptight husband into anything close to resembling Luke's sex drive and awareness. But it was worth the effort to get her husband to loosen up at least a bit.

Now if he'd stop wanting her to be the little Miss Susie homemaker that they both knew she was never going to be, she thought with a yawn, they might be in business.

But she thought, as her eyes drifted closed, knowing that she needed to get some sleep before her son awoke wanting his nighttime feeding, tomorrow was another day, and she'd worry about everything then.

She found him at the kitchen table the next morning, trying unsuccessfully to give Nathan his bottle, while trying to knot the tie that hung around his neck at the same time.

He had the bottle propped underneath his chin; one arm looped behind the baby's head, Nathan on his knee, and looked rather comical.

"Here.”  She took Nathan from him and put him in the car seat that sat beside the table. "You can put him down for a minute you know." She tucked a rolled blanket against the baby's chest to hold the bottle for a minute. "I doubt he'll starve to death if you do. Let me do that.”

She knotted the tie for him, stepping back to admire her work before she retrieved their son from the car seat, bringing him to her shoulder to burp him.

"How'd you know how to do that?"

She rubbed the baby's back and then patted it as he still hadn't burped. She shrugged, satisfied when Nathan finally let out a rather large belch. "I watched Timothy do it so many times that I kinda figured it out I guess. He was never one to wear a clip on. Why are you so dressed up?"

"The boss wants to talk to me. He likes the work I've been doing, so it might mean a raise. That would be nice wouldn't it?"

"Of course.”

"I guess I'd better get going. I love you Sierra.” He gave her a quick kiss before bending over slightly to nuzzle his son's nose with his own. "And I love you too, little guy."

"Good luck.”

"Cross your fingers for me will you?  Maybe we can finally find the money to get a house of our own."

She showed him her crossed fingers and he headed towards the door with a chuckle.

She got busy, doing the laundry that very much needed to be done, and had almost forgotten about her quest to get rid of the ring when she laid her son down for his nap, a little before noon.

She remembered though, when she was putting her clean clothes away and found herself reaching into the back of the drawer.

She pulled it out and sat on the bed looking at the box for a minute.

She'd never tried it on.  Never taken it out of the box and felt herself slipping her wedding set from her finger, and setting them aside on the nightstand.

She took the ring out of the box, and slipped it on her finger, not surprised that it fit perfectly. She was almost in a world of her own then for a few minutes.  She was still a little out of it when she started to reach for the box to put it away, planning to toss it over their back fence into the alley behind their house, not caring who found it, just that she'd be rid of it.

"Sierra." She looked up to see her husband standing before her, though she hadn't heard him come into the house, let alone into their bedroom.

She moved to hide the ring, but knew from the look on his face that he'd already seen it. She glanced uneasily at the rings he'd given her, thrown so carelessly onto the table. "What are you doing here Paul? You should be at work."

He laughed, though there was no humor in it. "Yeah, funny thing. They let me off early today. I not only got a substantial raise, they want to move me to another site.  A newer branch of the company, where we would be closer to both of our families. So."  It was like she could see storm clouds gathering in his eyes.  Their blue seemed to darken like the sky before a storm was coming. "I came home to tell my wife, that's you by the way Sierra, in case you hadn't noticed, the good news. I wanted to go out to celebrate, and instead what do I find but that same wife sitting on our bed with a ring on her finger that looks suspiciously like an engagement ring, which is certainly not the one I gave her." He looked pointedly at her rings on the table. "Looking like she's lost in some kind of daydream. I think you owe me an explanation Sierra. And it had better be a good one.  If it's not I'm going to walk right back out that door."

She told him the whole story of what she'd done with Luke and what he'd been to her. She tried to tell him that it was over and that she'd been planning to get rid of the ring. That she didn't know why she'd put it on. She was sobbing by the end.

She looked from him to their sleeping son. His face was a blank as he stared at her.  She didn't know which was worse, the fire in his eyes from before of the total lack of emotion he was giving her now.

"I'm so sorry Paul."

"Do you really think that it's enough Sierra? Did you really think that you could destroy our family and then tell me you’re sorry and 'poof' everything would be all right again?"

"I didn't want to destroy our family Paul. You don't understand. It wasn't like that."

"Then what was it like Sierra? What exactly was it like while you were letting another man fuck you?"

"Paul I. . ."

"Did you really plan to end it?  Or was I going to come home from work one day and find my wife and son gone, having taken off with another man?"

"No. I wouldn't do that."

"You expect me to believe you? You expect me to believe a damn thing you say from here on out? Where is he Sierra? Where is the man that you were so willing to spread your legs for even if it's destroyed everything I've worked so hard for? I think I'd like to meet him."

"No Paul, you can't do that. He's got a family of his own.  A wife and a little girl."

A dangerous glint came into his eyes. "So you set out not only to destroy your own family but somebody else's too? What an ungrateful little bitch you are after all I've given you."

"What you've given me?" She snorted, feeling herself start to get angry, too. "The only thing you've ever given me that's worth a damn thing is our child. Other than that, you've been trying your best to take everything away from me, so that I'd fit your image of what a wife and mother should be like. It never mattered what I wanted Paul."

"Of course it did."

"Who the hell are you kidding? You made me quit working.  You practically forced me to marry you. And now you're pissed because you found out I'm nothing like you wanted me to be. Wake up Paul. I want to work, I can't cook worth a shit, and I happen to like sex."

"Forced you to marry me.  Hell, I knew you couldn't cook as soon as you moved in with me and it never bothered me. This isn't about cooking Sierra.  It isn't about whatever bullshit excuses you're trying to come up with to justify your little affair to yourself. It's about one thing, plain and simple. You had sex with someone else."

"Did you ever think that maybe just maybe I wouldn't have fucked around if you'd been more willing to take care of my needs at home? We haven't had sex in almost five months Paul. Five fucking months. What kind of man wants to go without sex for that long?"

"I was thinking of our unborn child.  Unlike you obviously."

"Yep, right after the doctor said that normal sexual activity was perfectly safe. He's a doctor Paul.  I think that he might know what he's talking about."

"We had sex last night."

"Wow. Give the man a gold star. He screwed his wife once in five months. No I take that back.  You never just screw do you Paul?  It might make you feel dirty. You only 'make love'. You must be the only man on the whole planet that can still get it up that doesn't want to fuck every now and then."

"Oh please Sierra."

"Please what Paul? You never wanted to listen to me when I was begging you for sex. Do you have any idea how worthless that made me feel? That my own husband, a man I've been with for almost five years, didn't want to have sex with me? I felt unattractive enough being pregnant and you only made it worse."

"You've got it all wrong Sierra. But."  He shook his head at her. "All of that is again beside the point. We're not talking about me, we're talking about you. You're the one who cheated and now I'm the one who's got to deal with it."

He took a suitcase from the shelf in the closet, opening the drawers and throwing clothes in, and then moved to the closet, throwing work clothes in on top.

He returned from the bathroom with his electric razor, shaving cream, cologne, his hairbrush and his tooth brush. "I'm leaving Sierra. I don't know when I'll be coming home.  Don't know if I will be really. Thank you for turning what should have been a really great day into one of the worst in my whole life. Take care of our son. Do whatever the hell you want about your job.  If you need any help with Nathan I'm sure you can find someone willing to help, since you decided that I didn't deserve the chance to be his father."

She stood at the top of the stairs and watched him walk out the door, struggling with the suitcase.

She heard his car roar out of the drive a moment later; thinking briefly that Paul never drove fast. Today seemed to be one of those kind of days, she mused as she went back to the bedroom. She was surprised that Nathan was still sleeping, the ghost of a smile on his face, totally oblivious to the fact that his father had stormed out of the house.

"What the hell am I going to do now?” She sighed. “First thing's first. I'm gonna have a fucking cigarette."

She stood on the step stool in the closet, and reached up for the old purse which she knew had an almost full pack tucked into the inside pocket.

Paul had watched her smoke the last cigarette out of the pack that he knew she'd bought the day before, but he hadn't searched for any other packs that she had tucked away. And for that she was glad; figuring that a stale almost three year old cigarette at this point was better than none at all.

She pulled the purse out.  She could feel the form of the pack as she opened it.  When she found a lighter that worked along with them, it was all the better.

She glanced at her still sleeping son, figuring that she should have a few minutes at least before he woke up and went into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind her.

She stood on the edge of the tub, flipping the latch on the small sliding window and opening it all the way. The small fan was running, but she stood in the tub as she smoked, blowing the smoke out the window so that none could escape into the room where her son was. She finished her cigarette, and had thrown it into the toilet when she heard her son start to cry. She released the handle, saying "Mama's comin’ baby. Mama's comin’."