Misunderstandings (4 page)

November 2010

“Where are we going?” I asked with Justin leading me by the hand from my dorm room. It had been a week since his art show and the day of our first date had finally arrived. I’d had serious doubts and even tried backing out. I pleaded with Melissa to lie and cover for me, but she wouldn’t budge.

“What the frick is your deal with this guy?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips for emphasis because somehow that made her point more clearly. “You’ve never been like this before. You’ve got your OCD issues when it comes to dating, and whatever that crazy one-date-only rule is, I’ll never understand, but usually you give the dude a chance.”

“I don’t know,” I sighed, sinking down on my bed. “Something about him just unsettles me.”

“Unsettles? Do you not trust him?” she asked, concerned. “Did he do something?” she added, looking as ferocious as her slight five-foot-one-inch frame would allow.

“Chill, mother hen. No, he just makes me feel weird, kind of jittery. I disliked him on sight, and yeah, maybe that was wrong and a bit presumptuous on my part. Especially considering at his art show I got a glimpse of a side of him I wasn’t expecting, but now I’m worried I’ll be disappointed because he’ll turn out to be the asshole I pegged him for in the first place.”

“That’s some messed-up logic,” she said, hitting me with a pillow. “It sounds to me like you like him and you don’t want to admit it.”

I shrugged my shoulders since she’d pretty much nailed it on the head.

“In that case then, no, I won’t lie for you. It’ll do you some good to forget about these preconceived notions of yours and realize that sometimes it takes more than one date to get to know someone. Besides, you’ve got to give a little to get a little.”

“I’m not like you. I don’t give anything on the first date,” I teased.

“Hey, whatever, slut, that’s not what I meant,” she squealed, tossing the pillow at my head.

“I’m kidding,” I laughed. “Anyway, I disagree. If the first date sucks, then why should I torment myself by going out a second time? Face it, Melissa, college guys are the same duds
they were in high school. They’re just a little cockier and more persistent here,” I pointed out, since her track record wasn’t that much better than mine.

“Rob is different, though,” she replied. “And maybe Justin will be too.”

“So you say. Only time will tell,” I said, rising reluctantly from my bed so I could get dressed.

An hour later I wished I were still on my bed instead of heading out on some date, during the day no less, waiting for Justin to answer my question.

“If I tell you where we’re going, it’ll ruin the surprise, but I think you might like it,” he said, grinning confidently as he stopped in front of a beat-up jeep with no roof and no doors.

“You’re kidding, right?” I asked.

“What? You don’t like jeeps?” he asked, leading me to the passenger side.

“I’m not sure how I feel about them one way or another. I’ve never ridden in one. It’s just—you do realize you live in Seattle?”

“Sure, why?”

“Well, it’s not the most practical vehicle for this state, is it? You know the whole ‘no roof, no door, lots of rain’ thing. Not to mention, I could easily picture one sharp turn sending me tumbling out to become instant roadkill.” With those words, I pulled on my seat belt to make sure it was firmly latched.

“Aw, you’re not afraid to get a little wet, are you?” He cranked the engine, which started with a loud grumble before idling louder than I was used to. I’m sure the missing windows
and roof were partly to blame for some of the noise, but not much.

“Not at all,” I answered. “Just tell me you at least have an umbrella.”

He laughed as we accelerated down the road. “Don’t worry, it has a roof and doors for rainy days and a soft top for the summertime, but when it’s cool like this with no rain in the forecast, I like to take it all off,” he said conversationally.

I nodded but didn’t answer since the wind whipping around us made it difficult to hear. I was glad I’d pulled my hair back before I left my room, since riding like this would have surely turned me into a striking replica of a scarecrow. The breeze was downright cold as we sped along, but surprisingly it felt kind of nice as it chilled my face. My fear of tumbling out the side of the jeep had faded as the exhilaration of the ride took over. There was an odd sense of freedom that came from speeding down the road with nothing boxing me in. I didn’t realize I was smiling until Justin commented on it.

“I knew you were a jeep kind of girl,” he said, pulling into a half-full parking lot.

“Seattle Aquarium?” I asked.

“It’s sort of my muse for a new series I’m working on,” he answered, hopping down from the jeep and heading over to my side. He pulled off his gloves and placed his hands on my chilled face. The warmth of his hands and his close proximity set me on edge.

“What are you doing?” I pulled back.

“Oh, sorry. I was just warming up your face. It’s beet red from the wind,” he answered, taking another step closer. We stared at each other for a moment as if in a trance. I couldn’t help focusing on his lips, wondering what they would feel like on mine. Part of me wanted to shove him away, but then I thought about what Melissa had said. My brain was sending me frantic warning messages and I could feel myself leaning in like I had no control of my body.

“Here, let me help you down,” he said, reaching for my hands. I sat for a moment, confused about what had just happened. Did he just play me, or had I misread his signals? The look on Justin’s face gave me no indication. Either he had a great poker face, or he was oblivious and I was the idiot who thought she was about to be kissed.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Huh, yeah, I guess,” I answered, hoping I didn’t sound as squirrelly as I felt at the moment. “I thought you only painted people?”

“Most times I do. I was asked to do a series for the hospital, so I’m kinda mixing it up.”

“Wow, that’s awesome. It must be cool to earn money off your talent while you’re still in school.” Money was kind of tight for me since I only worked a few hours a week at a local daycare. Working around my school schedule had proven to be much more difficult this semester and I had lost a ton of hours.

“Nah, this isn’t a paying gig,” he answered as we approached the ticket booth.

“What? That’s insanity. Your work is too good to give away.”

“It’s cool. I just like being able to do what I love. Besides, think about all the people who will get to see it every day.”

“I guess, but I still think you should get paid. I know a hospital is a more charitable kind of thing, but I also know they make the bucks too.”

He shrugged, making it obvious he wasn’t all that crazy about the direction of the conversation. I wanted to say more about the fact that he was being taken advantage of and that he needed to know his value, but I let it drop. It wasn’t any of my business to tell him what he should or shouldn’t do.

Some of the awkward tension left Justin once we walked through the aquarium doors and he linked his fingers with mine. I could have easily pulled my hand away but became quickly distracted by the large window in front of us with hundreds of fish swimming behind it. We didn’t have anything this cool near Woodfalls. My only experience with aquariums was a trip to the Baltimore National Aquarium I had won in a short-story writing contest when I was thirteen. Ten winners got to go. The best part was our English teacher, Ms. Cooper, was our chaperone. The worst part was the twelve-hour van ride to Baltimore. I felt nauseated the entire way, but once we got there it was completely worth it. I enjoyed seeing all the different exhibits and being able to feed the dolphins and touch the stingrays. The Seattle Aquarium was tiny in comparison, but I kinda preferred the intimate feel. Plus, it was a hell of a lot less crowded.

“Oh, wow,” I proclaimed, staring into the large enclosure.

“Pretty cool, huh?”

“It’s crazy cool.”

“I remember you saying how much you liked Puget Sound last week, so I thought you’d enjoy seeing what’s beneath the surface,” he said, sitting down on a bench. He unzipped an old worn-out backpack that had seen better days and pulled out a sketchpad and a thick pencil.

“So, you’re doing fish for the hospital?” I asked, nodding toward the large window.

He ignored my question and focused completely on the sketchpad in his hands. It was as if he had been put under some kind of trance the moment the sketchpad hit his hands. The pencil seemed to have a mind of its own as it moved effortlessly across the page. I turned my attention back to the fish behind the thick glass. It was entertaining to watch the dynamics of life in a world so different from my own. Some of the fish swam lethargically along, like they didn’t have a care in the world, while others seemed to be chasing each other as they darted in and around the plants. With my eyes still on the live show in front of me, I settled on the bench next to Justin, who still had not looked up. Minutes faded away and many families came and went. Some gasped over the fish behind the huge glass, while others didn’t look impressed at all. Through dozens of screaming and squealing kids, Justin and I remained on the bench. If not for the scratching of the pencil, I would have assumed he had fallen asleep.

It was thirty minutes later when he finally looked up from the page. “Sorry, I wanted to get that down while it was still fresh in my mind,” he said, closing the sketchpad.

“Not so fast,” I said, holding out my hand. “Let me see.”

“It’s not done,” he answered, stowing it in his bag.

I didn’t argue. The intensity he had the entire time he was drawing led me to believe he took his work very seriously.

“So, what do you think?” he asked, indicating the large expanse of windows in front of us. “Pretty cool way to show visitors a glimpse into what it’s like beneath Puget Sound?”

“It’s breathtaking. I could stay here all day.”

“Been there, done that,” he said, throwing his head back to laugh. Several preteen girls turned to stare at him, looking completely entranced before dissolving into a heap of giggles. As we left the viewing area, I could still hear them giggling and chattering away.

“I think you have a fan club,” I said, throwing a look over my shoulder at the girls.

“You think?” he asked, raising his pierced eyebrow, which naturally drew my attention. Everything about him seemed designed to appeal to the opposite sex. I wasn’t the only one to notice as we continued walking through the aquarium. I caught women young and old openly admiring him. There was no denying he was attractive. Obviously, any warm-blooded female would attest to that. Knowing the way the female mind works, I realized I was also being judged by his many admirers as to whether I was worthy to be with someone with his looks. Not that I felt I was ugly, but feeling insecure around guys was never my thing. Being with Justin had a way of making me feel like I was lacking in one capacity or another. It was more my problem than his, and I realized that.
The only problem was I was beginning to find I actually enjoyed his company. He was laid back, good-natured, and very easy to talk to. It was a shame I had to end things before they got started.

We were eating lunch when I mentioned it. “Today has been really fun.”

“Why do I sense a
but
coming?” he asked, dipping a French fry in ketchup.

I smiled slightly at his intuitiveness. At least he wasn’t dense like the last guy I ended it with before the first date was even over. “But, I just think we’re too different.”

“Different? How?”

“I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m not the most open person,” I started, glaring at him when he grinned broadly at my words. “Fine, it’s obvious,” I acknowledged. “The point is you’re the exact opposite. You have a way of making someone feel special even if you don’t say a word.”

“Care to elaborate?” he asked, settling back in his chair with his arms crossed across his chest.

“Like you don’t know,” I answered, exasperated. “A smile here. A wink there. You’re a born flirt. I may have been off on the bad-boy part, but I was dead-on when it comes to your flirty nature.”

“Flirty nature? God, could you emasculate me any more?” he joked, leaning forward so we were closer. “So, I’m friendly. No harm, no foul.”

“Player,” I countered.

“Easygoing,” he volleyed.

“Tease.”

“Affectionate.”

I couldn’t help laughing at his persistence. “Whatever way you phrase it, I’m not looking for a relationship.”

“What are you looking for?” he asked with a more serious tone.

“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly. “I’ve been here a year and a half and I feel like I’m barely scratching the surface. Take today, for example. I’m not sure I would have ever come here if you hadn’t brought me. It’s not like this is a place my friends are talking about. There are so many things I want to do that I’ve never had the opportunity to do before.”

“Strict parents?” he questioned.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just, I’m from a very small town. You know, the kind of place where you sneeze and everyone knows about it. God forbid you actually do something scandalous like make out with Gregory James in Mr. Jacobs’s science lab.”

“Gregory James? Is he someone I have to worry about?”

“Very funny. My point is I’m enjoying my freedom more than I ever thought I would. I don’t feel like bogging it down with a relationship.”

“Don’t you get lonely?”

“Have you met my roommate?” I joked. “Melissa kinda doesn’t allow for loneliness.”

He laughed. “She is something else. I like her, though. Her enthusiasm is cool and Rob seems to dig her.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love her to death, but she pretty much fills any void I may have.”

“I didn’t realize you two were those kind of roommates,” he teased, his innuendo clear. “Maybe I should come hang out.”

“You wish.”

“You mean you two don’t have pillow fights?” he asked, giving me puppy-dog eyes.

“Strangely, no. We also don’t have wet T-shirt contests or play Truth or Dare every night.”

“Just on some nights?” he asked hopefully.