Authors: Jennifer Mckenzie
“These past few weeks have been the happiest I’ve ever been,... I’ve never felt this feeling in my entire life. I’ve been with other girls before but… they’re not like you. You’re smart, professional, witty and all things I thought I might never find in one girl and yet, here you are! I just wanted to tell that, I’m just so happy that you exist and that I get to meet you and that…”
And that what?
I think I know what he’s going to say, but I don’t know if I’m ready to hear it.
“And that I love you.” He says it at last and stomach feels like I had eaten fireworks. “Its okay, you don’t have to say it back.” He added.
I found myself speechless. This guy just said the most beautiful things anyone has ever said to me. I never thought I’d hear these words in my entire life. I stare at his eyes, and realize the truth. The truth I’ve been trying to hide for weeks now.
“I love you too.”
His face lifts up into a smile. He hugs me tight and I hug him back tighter. I can’t believe how happy I am. I will remember this for the rest of my life.
He leans toward me, I realize I’ve been staring at his lips.
Oh, how it would feel to have his lips on mine.
He leans closer, as if he’s read my thoughts and my heart beats faster than ever.
“I want to kiss you.” He whispers.
“Then kiss me.” I tell him, and he does.
He kisses my lightly at first, but the longer we kiss, the more intense it gets. He begins kissing my neck, and oh it feels paradise to me. He had aroused something in me that I had never thought existed before.
We get into my apartment, trying to control our turned-on bodies as we ascend to the stairs. Each heartbeat of mine feels like an atomic explosion. I get my keys and open the door. Quickly we get inside and he kisses me with such passion and starts caressing my ass.
“Nice ass” He says as he smacks it softly. I bit my lip, I can’t control myself now.
I’m so horny.
We make our way into my bed as I take his clothes off, pass the bookshelf. We’re half naked as we reach my bed. He’s on top of me now. I open up his zipper and take his pants off, he does the same to my panties. He kisses me all the way down to my...
“
Oh, Daniel”
I moan in pleasure. He’s so good with his tongue down there, I can’t not moan.
“I want to make you feel good. I want to please you.” He says, and I swear I’m melting. After that, he steadies himself, I feel it, its hard and big. He puts it in position and pushes it forward.
I moan even more, I don’t care if Mrs. Tsu hears it.
He kisses me all over my body and I can’t help but want even more.
Every push and pull felt like heaven.
Oh Daniel.
His scent is all over me. I can’t think straight anymore. We are gasping for air when we finish. He kisses me one last time in my forehead. So familiar...
We both fell asleep after, and I dream again.
I’m looking at the mirror, wearing the purple lingerie. I’ve dreamt this before, I know what’s going to happen. I hear the clink of the door, and just as I thought, footsteps start coming towards me. I walk to where footsteps came from and find him standing there, outlined by the streetlights. As usual I say, “Honey, you’re here.”
I’ve expected myself to wake up, but I don’t. Instead I keep dreaming this time, and was able to finally see his face. When the man turned around, I was able to see Daniel’s face.
I wake up suddenly. Daniel is the man in my dreams, I realize. But that can’t be true, impossible. I’ve never met him before. I turn to my side expecting him to be there, but he’s not.
Maybe it was all just a dream.
But I know,
last night was real, if not then, why am I naked right now?
I don’t know why Daniel snuck out of the apartment. But for all I know, maybe he’s just in a hurry. What time is it anyway?
I look at the clock, its 8 am.
I’m late for work again.
I quickly do my morning routine and go to work.
When I arrive at work, I find myself anticipating to see Daniel. I ask Riley, he says he didn’t see Daniel this morning.
I didn’t see Daniel for the rest of the day. I don’t know why. Didn’t he just say to me, the other night that he loved me? Maybe it was joke. If it was, then it certainly pissedme off.
Days pass. Daniel still hadn’t showed up at work. People are beginning to wonder where he’s been. I tell them I don’t know. Martha is spreading lies about it,
that attention seeking bitch.
She’s been telling everyone about Daniel going on vacation and that he’s asked her to come with her.
“Then why are you still here?” I ask when I overhear her talking.
“Eavesdropping much?” she says, and I roll my eyes at her. “Oh, just drop it down Rowena, I know you’ve always been jealous of me. And now you can’t handle it that Daniel prefers me. How could you ever think that Daniel would want someone like you?”
I ignore her and walk away. I murder Martha inside my head a lot of times as I walk home. I wasn’t assigned any new work anyway.
The next day I am called at the meeting room with Mrs. Cheng, 2 days after we’ve passed final output to her. Presenting it to the entire office had been fun, since Daniel had gotten along with almost everyone in the office. He’s even close with Julius, the office janitor. Daniel is all kinds of nice and pretty, and everyone wants to get along with him.
I remember when we finished with our presentation that day, everyone in the room clapped. It was by far the best project I’ve had since day 1 here at Greetings Corp.. After the presentation. All of the office staff went to a bar to celebrate, I didn’t go with them.
“Are you listening, Rowena?” Mrs. Cheng asked.
“Yes.” I say, even though I’m not.
“Oh there you are Daniel!”
I look around and there he is, entering the meeting room. I want to ask so many questions, but I control myself. I don’t want to look like I’m not a professional. I don’t want to look like I care.
“Sorry for being absent Mrs. Cheng. I was sick and I didn’t have anyone to tell you for me.” He continues talking, ignoring me, like I don’t exist at all. I don’t understand him. I thought he loved me.
When Mrs. Cheng let us go, instead of asking him all my questions, I ignore him. It hurts me not talking to him this way, but it hurts more that he’s not talking to me. That he’s fine ignoring me this way. Riley notices my coldness towards Daniel and tried to ask me about it. I told him I wasn’t feeling well today. I advises that I go home to rest. I do as he advised.
As I got outside the building, I realize Daniel has been following me. I turn around to look at him, my eyes very close to crying now.
“I’m so sorry, but we can’t be together Rowena.”
“Why?”
“I’m not- I’m not like the others. You deserve someone who’s better than me.”
“I don’t understand Daniel! You tell me you love me but you say we can’t be together! I don’t understand any of this at all.”
“I’m so sorry.” That’s all he says. And I walk away.
That night, I cry my heart out in my apartment. I shouldn’t have told him I love him too. I shouldn’t have let him inside my heart. I shouldn’t have…
I can feel my heart breaking into several pieces as I think through all things I shouldn’t have done. I hear a knock in my door.
“Who’s that?”
“Its me, Rowena.” I hear Daniel’s voice from the outside of my room. I don’t get him at all. Just recently today he’d told me we can’t be together, and now here he is in my apartment.
“I need to talk to you.” He added
“I just don’t feel like talking.” I told Daniel.
“Please I have something to explain to you.” I don’t talk back to him. I thought maybe if I just leave him there, he’ll go away and I can finally cry in peace. But even after midnight, he’s still at my door.
“Okay.” I finally let him in.
“I’m really sorry about- everything.” He says. “But there’s something you need to know about me. I’m not safe. You’re not safe with me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m not normal.”
“What?”
I am so confused right now.
“Its something like a disease.”
oh my god, what if…
“Do you have HIV?” I ask.
“No, no” He laughs and then turns serious again. “Its not that. Its not a contagious disease.”
“Then, you need someone to take care of you.”
“No, its not safe.”
“But I thought it isn’t contagious.”
“Its not safe for you.”
“But what if I don’t care about my safety.”
“I care.” He says, sternly.
“You don’t know how beautiful you are Rowena.”
“That’s not true, I’m not beautiful. Maybe I’m just not beautiful enough for you to say” I say, looking down.
Daniel gets up from his chair and walks closer towards me.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met Rowena. That’s why I’m doing this… to keep you safe..If only I had the chance..”
“What chance?” I ask, suddenly. I look into his eyes and I know he’s hiding something from me.
“No, you can’t know this.”
“I can’t know wha-”
And suddenly his lips is on mine. And I can’t think of anything else except him and me, as if the world doesn’t exist anymore.
I take his clothes off him as he takes mine with intensity. I can feel he’s been trying for us to not end up this way again but we can’t control our bodies anymore. I sit on top of him, my breast exposed now, caressed by his hands. He opens up my zipper and I do the same to him. Within seconds, we are naked. I see all of him and he can see all of me. I am in love with this man. And I don’t care if I get hurt so bad, all I know is that I want to be with him for as long as I live.
He lays me softly to the bed.
“Oh honey, I’ve missed you so much.” He says and then he pushes inside me.
I moan as pleasure take control of my entire body. I know then that I’ve felt like this before, that this is not my first time. But I can’t remember when or who.
All my doubts are fading away like chalks in a black board. Pleasure, lust and Daniel, the only things that I can think off. And the rest of the night, that’s all we do.
***
The next morning, I wake up to see I’m sleeping with a beetle beside me.
Where’s Daniel?
I thought as I stroke the beetle. I knew he’d be gone. Last night, last night was his way of saying goodbye to me. I feel a lump in my throat again, I feel like crying. And then the strangest thing happened.
The beetle became Daniel, sleeping soundlessly like an innocent child. I don’t understand, what’s happening. I rub my eyes, just to make sure I’m not dreaming again. But it was real. The beetle- it turned into Daniel. He opens his eyes and gets up… He sees my puzzled expression and knows exactly what had happened.
“What are you?!” I say to him.
“I’m sorry Rowena- I can explain-.”
“WHAT ARE YOU?!”