Model Attraction (13 page)

“Austin?”

Austin opened his eyes at the sound of Janna's voice. He hadn't heard her enter the bathroom. His gaze took in her nude hourglass figure standing an arm's reach away and his mouth went dry.

“Can I join you?”

He didn't speak. He answered her question by extending his hand and gently pulling her to him.

“I needed to be close to you.”

“I love having you close.”

She was probably the only black woman he knew who didn't seem to mind getting her hair wet. But instead of her being directly under the shower head, he turned her and backed her against the opposite wall of the shower.

“I love you.” The strain in his voice was noticeable to his own ears, but he couldn't help it. Emotion clogged his throat. He stared into her eyes, braced a hand on the ceramic tile near her head, and caressed her cheek with his other hand. “I love you so damn much.” Between each word, he planted kisses on her cheek, on her neck and even on her shoulder.

“I love you, too.”

His hands moved to the back of her head, and he covered her mouth with his. He didn't only want his words to express his feelings, he wanted to show her. He wanted her. He needed her. His life would be hell if he had to live without her.

Thoughts of what they were going to do about Milan left his mind, and all his attention was on the woman in his arms. Their kiss started like a light summer breeze, but she wasn't having that. Janna pulled him closer, taking what she wanted. A frisson of heat shot through him as their kiss turned into a hunger he couldn't ignore.

Austin groaned into her mouth. His hands palmed her firm butt, lifting her off the tiled floor. A kiss wouldn't do. He wanted all of her.

Janna wrapped her long legs around his body and moved against his erection. A whole new wave of desire enveloped him as he slipped inside her. He was glad that she was on the Pill because at this point, he wouldn't be able to stop even if he wanted to.

Lifting her up and down his length, he went deeper. Harder. Faster. With every thrust, he wanted her to feel his love. With every thrust, he wanted her to know how much he cherished her. With every thrust, he wanted her to know he couldn't live without her.

Janna snatched her mouth from his. “Austin,” she breathed, clawing his shoulders. Her head was thrown back and her body tightened around his shaft. It took everything in him to keep them upright. If she kept moving the way she was, this would be over just as fast as it started.

Feeling as if he was losing his grip, he pressed her back against the wall but didn't stop pumping in and out of her. He couldn't stop. Fire burned through his veins, and her soft whimpers spurred him on.

When his mouth made contact with her neck, she lost it. Her body jerked and clenched with an orgasm that almost brought him to his knees.

He didn't stop. His impending release built with every thrust into her warm body. She climaxed again and he lost it. Growling her name as his orgasm toppled him over, sweetly draining all of his concerns.

He slowly lowered her feet to the floor of the shower, their panting mingling together. He kept an arm on her hip, still trying to catch his breath.

Her arms tightened around his neck and she buried her face in its curve. That's when he heard her sobbing.

He tried pulling back, but she wouldn't loosen her grip.

“Baby, what is it? Did I hurt you?”

“No.” She shook her head against his shoulder, her wet hair brushing against his face. “I just love you so much. Sometimes it feels overwhelming,” she whimpered.

Yeah, I know
, he thought to himself.

* * *

A while later, Austin and Janna sat at the dining room table, eating dinner. Candles lit every flat surface, and in some respects, Janna was enjoying the evening. Unfortunately, there was a little twinge of foreboding nipping at the back of her neck.

After their shower, they'd slept for about a half an hour. Well, she slept. She wasn't sure if Austin had fallen asleep. When she woke up, she found him downstairs, setting the table and putting out the dinner that he had ordered from her favorite Italian restaurant.

Now they were eating a delicious meal, surrounded by candlelight. The evening was very romantic, but a sense of dread had been nagging her during most of the meal.

“So by accepting this opportunity, you would get to work with Phoenix?” Austin asked and lifted his wineglass to his mouth.

Janna nodded.

“That has to be exciting. Not that the rest of the job doesn't sound like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.” He used the words Nelson had earlier. Janna could have choked her manager. His parting words were meant to force her hand into talking with Austin.

“Baby, I don't have to take it. I love what we have going here and I don't want anything to come between us, especially a job.”

He said nothing and fear crawled up her spine. She knew he was thinking about how she'd left the first time for Milan, because she was. She'd made the mistake of leaving him once and couldn't believe she was even considering doing it again.

“I would never ask you to give up an opportunity to do something you love to stay here with me.”

“I'd do it.”

“I believe you, but I don't want you to ever regret not doing something because of me.”

Besides the soft classical music playing through the speakers, silence filled the room. Each was caught up in their own thoughts.

“Maybe you can move to Milan with me,” Janna blurted out.

Austin's fork stopped midway to his mouth. He looked about as shocked as she was that she'd come up with the idea. Why couldn't he take a year off and go with her?

“You're serious, aren't you?”

“Yes.” She wiped her mouth with the cloth napkin. “I don't want to lose you.”

“Are you saying that if I don't go with you, I'll lose
you
?”

“No. That's not what I'm saying. I just want us to discuss all possibilities before any decisions are made. And us going to Milan could be a possibility.”

Disappointment settled in her joints when he said nothing. She didn't know if his silence meant that he was thinking about the idea or if it meant he wasn't interested.

Instead of pushing him for a response, she said, “Can we not talk about this anymore this evening? This is your last night here.” She set down her fork and pushed out of her chair. “I'd rather spend the rest of our time together doing other things.”

“Is that right?” he asked when she sat on his lap.

“Yep.”

“So what did you have in mind?” He pushed her hair behind her ear and nuzzled her neck, his lips sending goose bumps up her arm.

“Maybe we can do what we did this morning, except I want to be on top.”

He chuckled, the stress lines that were on his forehead moments ago gone. “I think that can be arranged.”

Janna knew sharing her body with Austin would only be a temporary distraction. She also knew the moment Nelson mentioned Milan that Austin wouldn't be enthused about the assignment. Yet she had hoped they could work out a compromise. Maybe she was wrong in thinking his feelings for her were just as strong as hers were for him.

They both stood and blew out the candles, but she couldn't stop thinking about their discussion. If Austin had asked her to forgo the opportunity, marry him and move to Atlanta, she would have said yes in a heartbeat. But he hadn't asked, and that worried her.

Chapter 15

A
ustin jerked awake. He glanced around the semidarkened room, his eyes barely opened. Hearing nothing, he lowered his head back down on the sofa pillow. He wasn't sure what had awakened him out of a deep sleep and right now, he didn't care to find out.

Turning onto his side, he had no intention of getting up anytime soon. It was Saturday—at least he thought it was. After the exhausting week he'd had, he wasn't sure. Six straight twelve-to fifteen-hour workdays were enough to make a person forget his own name.

Since returning from New York, he had been on autopilot, doing any and everything to free his mind from Janna. They still talked daily, but instead of two or three times, he found excuses to take the calls once a day. She wasn't happy about that, but it couldn't be helped. He needed space. Space to think about what he wanted for his future. What he wanted with her, especially since it looked as if she was going to take the assignment in Milan.

His doorbell rang several times. Whoever was trying to get his attention was now lying on the damn bell.

Malcolm.

Austin turned onto his stomach and tried to ignore the intrusive noise, but then his brother started pounding on the door.

Damn him!

Austin leaped off the couch. Seconds later he swung the door open. “What the...” His words died on his lips. It wasn't his brother.

“You lied to me!” Janna stormed past him into the house, pulling a large suitcase behind her.

Almost afraid to find out what this was all about, Austin took his time closing the door. When he finally did, he turned to find Janna glaring at him, her hands on her hips and fire shooting out of her ears.

The last thought almost made him laugh, a good sign that he was definitely tired, or maybe it was delirium setting in.

“Every day for the last few days, I have asked if you were okay. Clearly you're not!” She waved a hand in his direction.

Austin glanced down at himself. Still in work clothes from the day before. Not only were his dress shirt and slacks wrinkled, it looked as if someone had roughed him up. A button was missing off his shirt and the tail of it was partially hanging out his pants. His belt was unfastened, barely in two or three loops, and he wore only one shoe.

“It's been a tough week, Janna.” Well, for him, he thought. A good look at her revealed she was as pulled together as usual. Her face was perfectly made up and her hair hung in waves over her shoulder. The fitted white blouse she was wearing was neatly tucked into a pair of dress slacks that made her legs look even longer. And since the pants were tapered at her ankles, he could easily see her customary high heels. She looked good. She looked damn good.

When the room started spinning, he knew that if he didn't sit down soon, he would drop. Without saying anything else to Janna, he headed back to the living room.

He stretched his long frame out on the sofa, his forearm over his eyes. If he could just get a few more hours of sleep, he'd be okay. But with Janna there, that wasn't going to happen. He lunged up into a sitting position at that last thought.

“Why are you here? Is everything okay?”

“No. No, everything is not okay!” She sat on the edge of the sofa and touched her hand to the stubble on his jaw. “I'm miserable in New York and you're trying to work yourself to death. I talked with Malcolm. He told me what was going on.”

Austin lay back down. “Malcolm needs to mind his own damn business.”

“You are his business. He's concerned about you...and so am I. I decided I'm not going to Milan.”

Austin peeked from under his arm. “Why not?”

“Because I know it would ruin what we have. Besides, I can't stand the thought of being away from you that long.”

Austin shook his head. “Nah, baby, I can't let you do that.”

“You're not letting me do anything.” She kicked off her heels and curled up next to him. “This is what I've decided.”

“Well, I'm not feeling this decision, but right now I'm too tired to argue with you.” He wrapped his arm around her and placed a kiss on the side of her hair. “But this isn't over. Let me get a couple of hours of sleep, and
we
will make some decisions.”

“Okay, but I have to leave here by four. I'm on my way to Miami for...”

Austin tried staying awake, but his eyes grew heavy. As long as his baby was in his arms, all was well with the world.

Hours later, Austin exited his bedroom feeling like a new man. After more sleep and a long, hot shower, he was in a better frame of mind to talk with Janna.

When he smelled something burning, he flew down the stairs. The smoke detector erupted the moment he stepped in the kitchen.

“Babe, what are you doing?” He hurried across the kitchen and turned the stove off. He placed the smoking skillet in the sink.

“I was trying to make you a grilled cheese sandwich, but it didn't turn out too good.” She bit her bottom lip and pushed a plate over to him. The charred item could have been a sandwich, but had she not told him what it was, he would have thought it was charcoal.

He chuckled and pulled her into his arms, kissing her. “Thank you, but I think it'll be safer if I continue doing the cooking in this relationship.”

Over a light lunch of grilled cheese and salad, they talked more about Milan.

“I don't know, Austin. You're making this plan sound easier than I think it would be.”

“Do you want to go, Janna?”

She hesitated and stared down into her lap. He knew the answer before he'd asked the question.

“Yes,” she finally said. “But—”

“I don't want you to have any regrets if you don't go for it. Who knows what this can do for your career? You can't pass up this assignment.” He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if she hadn't jumped at the chance to go to Milan at sixteen. Because of that decision back then, she was doing what she was born to do. There was no way he would stand in her way now.

“I'm not going to Milan unless you go with me.”

“Baby, I can't just pick up my life as easily as you can. I have too many people depending on me. It's for one year. Like Nelson said, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and then there's Phoenix. You'll get a chance to know her better and work with her. Something you recently said you'd like to do.”

Janna shook her head. “I don't want to lose you like last time.”

“You won't. Besides, last time was different. This plan will work if we want it to.”

“But we'll only see each other once a month.”

“And holidays.”

She huffed and stood suddenly, taking her plate to the sink. “That's not enough,” she said quietly, her back to him. “I want more.”

He wanted more, too. He wanted nothing more than to make her his wife, move her to Atlanta and raise a family. But he had to think about her career, something she loved and was meant to do. It wasn't the right time to propose.

* * *

Janna stared out her living room window that overlooked Central Park, listening to her sisters on the telephone. She had called them to talk about her relocation to Milan and get their opinion regarding Austin.

“To me, Janna doesn't seem as excited about this assignment like others, Iris. Why push her to take it?” Macy asked.

“Because it's a great opportunity. Since Austin is okay with it and they've worked out a plan to continue seeing each other, why not go?”

Janna listened as they went back and forth discussing her life as if she weren't on the call. Since her impromptu trip to Atlanta a week ago, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about what she and Austin had decided. Then while he was visiting her this past weekend, he'd made it sound as if the year would go by fast, that they would be able to see each other enough. But seeing him once or twice a month wasn't enough now, and it definitely wouldn't be if she went to Milan.

“Janna, why aren't you saying anything?” Iris asked, pulling her back into the conversation.

“I was just hearing what you guys had to say.”

“During the past half an hour, there's one question we haven't asked,” Macy said. “Janna, what do you want?”

What do I want? What do I really want?

“I want to marry Austin, have a family and a career. I want what we agreed to back in high school,” she said quietly, as if talking to herself.

For the first time during the call, silence filled the phone line. Janna was a little surprised by her response, and apparently so were her sisters.

“I don't think I have
ever
heard you mention wanting to get married and have a family,” Iris said, her tone wistful.

“Me either,” Macy added, sounding just as shocked. “Does Austin know you want that?”

Janna hesitated. She assumed he did, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized they hadn't really talked specifically about marriage and children since reuniting.

How would he know if I haven't told him?