Moment of Weakness (Embracing Moments Book 1) (29 page)

He kept his stare glued on the lake, but I knew my words were getting through to him because he took my hand in his and caressed the top of it with his thumb. Heat chased up my arm from his gentle touch. Bringing his hand to my lips, I pressed a tender kiss against it. “They would be proud of you, Roman, even Kayla.”

Roman closed his eyes, and I watched his chest expand as he pulled in a deep breath. A moment later, he slid me across the railing until I was directly in front of him. His fingers caressed the sides of my thighs, and I moved my hands to his chest. His eyes locked on to mine, and for the first time of knowing him, I wanted him to see right through me. I wanted him to see what kind of power he had over me. Leaning in closer, he rested his forehead against mine. “You’re going to miss the sunset,” he said, his warm breath heating my cheeks.

I no longer cared about the sunset, but instead of voicing my thoughts, I offered a small smile and turned so I faced back out toward the lake. The sun was fading in the sky, and it was only a matter of time before we were sitting in my car driving home. Why is it always the days and times we don’t want to end that seem to end the quickest?

Trees covered in bright green leaves obscured our current view, but as I stared out at the calm water, I knew where I wanted to be. I hopped off the side of the railing and walked to the edge of the lake. “Where you going?” Roman called, watching me.

I slipped off the white flip-flops and pointed toward the empty boat floating in the center of the lake. I had no idea how it got out there, but it seemed like it was there just for me. Roman’s eyes widened, and he tossed his body over the railing, barreling toward me. A moment later, I jumped in. The cool water felt refreshing against my sticky skin, and as I allowed my body to float to the surface, I came up smiling. I pushed the wet strands of hair from my face and spun around, wanting to coax Roman into joining me, but he wasn’t there. I frowned and as I allowed the waves of the water to carry me backward, I floated into a rock. Straightening my legs, I bobbed upright and turned around.

How the?

“How did—”

Roman’s hands fell to my waist, and he pulled me closer. “Next time you feel like going for an evening swim at least provide me with a fair warning.”

Before I allowed myself to think about him not having his shirt or jeans on, I pushed off his bare chest and backstroked across the water. “Now where would the fun be in that? Loosen up, Mr. Hayes. Be spontaneous for once in your life.”

Swimming across the lake, I reached the boat before Roman. My feet kicked in the water, and as I grabbed the side of the boat, it dipped down, making it impossible to get into. Roman swam up next to me, his bare chest on full display as he reached an arm up to steady the boat. His other arm circled my waist. “On the count of three, I’m going to lift you in, okay?”

Water dripped from my nose and I nodded. Roman counted down, and as soon as he reached one, he lifted me up into the small wooden boat. I scrambled to sit up and peeked my head over the side. Roman waded in the water, and I swallowed hard as I watched him. God, I wanted him. More than I had ever wanted anyone or anything in my entire life.

“Are you coming in?” I asked, pushing my wet hair from my shoulders.

Roman swam toward the boat, his strong arms gripping the side, and I squealed as it dipped to the one side, nearly tipping over. I curled my hands under his chest and rested them on his shoulder blades, pulling him in. The entire boat rocked back and forth, and I toppled backward, Roman landing directly above me. His arms caught most of his fall, but his lower body rested flush against mine, and my pulse quickened from a steady beat to an erratic throb.

Roman’s eyes locked with mine, and I was suddenly envious of the beads of water that ran down his cheeks and settled on his lips. The silence was still around us, and the sun descended in the sky. I closed my eyes, hoping to break some of the tension that sparked in the small space between us. Roman’s hand moved to cup my cheek, and when I reopened my eyes, his dark green eyes danced against the falling sunset.

His thumb swept across my cheekbone, and he lowered his lips, brushing them against mine. “I don’t believe in alternate universes, Julia, but for a moment, I’m going to close my eyes and pretend that I do. Pretend that I’m in a universe where you’re mine and I’m yours. Where I can do this and not feel guilty about it.”

Roman’s eyes closed, and a second later, his lips melded with mine. The kiss started slow and then increased in warmth and intensity as our lips fought to take full advantage of the moment. His fingers threaded through my hair, and my arms moved to pull him closer. Not only did his kiss capture my breath, but it captured my heart.
He
captured my heart. Air punched my chest as his mouth left mine, and warm tears rolled down my temples. As he lifted himself off me, I swiped my palms under my eyes and sat up.

“Julia,” he breathed. His hand reached for mine, but I pulled it away.

My voice trembled as I spoke. “I’m ready to go home.” And without waiting for him to respond, I jumped from the boat.

He didn’t need to feel guilty.

He didn’t have to pretend to be in a different universe.

All he needed to do was allow himself to have me in this one.

Before we left, Roman changed and offered me some fresh clothes. Declining, I grabbed my clutch from the dresser in the bedroom and waited in the car for him. I had every intention of messaging Lacey and Shane to thank them for taking me out, but when I pulled my phone from my clutch, the battery was dead. I wasn’t up for driving, and since I had no clue where we were, or how to get home, I allowed Roman to drive. The only sound that echoed above the words that neither of us had the courage to say was the angry pouring of the rain against the roof of my car. Reaching forward, I turned on the music hoping to lose myself in something other than my thoughts, but then
Whoa! Man
by Emery played through the speakers, and I laughed at the irony of the lyrics. A short time later, Roman pulled into the garage, and my heart felt heavy in my chest as we got out of the car.

“Are you going running in the morning?”

After everything that happened, his question seemed stupid. Of course, I wasn’t going running. A sigh left my chest as I breathed the word, “No.”

Roman nodded and then dropped my keys in my hands. He waited a moment, and before I could turn and walk away, he wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me against his chest. His fingers moved in slow circles at the base of my neck, and I fought the urge to wrap my arms around him. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply, trying to find some semblance of comfort. I wanted him to say something—anything—but there wasn’t anything left to say. How was it possible that my chest felt so heavy moments ago, and now it felt like a vast space of nothing but emptiness? Roman’s lips trembled as he placed a kiss against my forehead. A heartbeat later, he let me go completely and my heart clenched in my chest. I stood there, for the second time, watching him walk away from me. Watching him walk away from
us.

My wet jean shorts rubbed against my thighs, and I hurried through the house, hoping to avoid contact with anyone, but as I entered the living room, my father and Theo walked toward me. Two candles sat lit above a small round cake, and I shook my head with a smile as they sang happy birthday.

“Make a wish, Julia,” my father said, smiling. I flashed him a look that said, “You know me better than that,” and blew out the large numeral candles. He shimmied the cake back and forth in his hands. “You want to cut the cake?”

I didn’t want to cut the cake. I didn’t want to eat the cake. But I did anyway. And it was a pretty damn good cake. My father and Theo sat across from me, lifting forkfuls of the chocolate iced cake into their mouths. “I’m sorry I didn’t call today. My phone was dead.”

My father waved his fork in the air. “It’s okay. We knew you were with Roman.” My body tensed. They knew I was with Roman. But did they know I stayed at his house? “You two seem to be getting close.”

Oh hell. They totally knew I stayed at his house
. Awkward.

“Dad, please.” A nervous laugh left my throat. “It’s not like that. I’m around him all the time, of course were going to be civil.”

“You’re twenty-one, Julia, you don’t need my approval, and we’re long past the birds and the bees conversation.”

My face dropped in disbelief. I looked over at Theo, who was trying to stifle a laugh. “It’s not like that!” I insisted. And not because I didn’t want it to be. Standing, I grabbed our empty plates from the counter and walked them to the sink. “I’m inviting Shane to the gala.”

My father followed and placed a kiss on the back of my head. “You invite whoever you like, sweetheart.”

The truth was, I hadn’t even thought about inviting Shane to the gala, but now that I said it, I almost felt obligated to. I kind of owed it to him anyway for leaving unannounced the previous evening. It’s not like we were on a date, but I still felt guilty about it. After opening my gifts from Theo and my father, I headed up to my bedroom. I needed to get my phone charged so I could message Lacey and Shane, and I wanted to shower. I needed to wash away what was left of the lake, and the memories that came with it.

Walking into my room, I opened my balcony doors. The smell of warm summer rain invaded my nose, and the light fresh air poured in around me, clearing out the stuffiness of the room. Plugging my phone in, I pulled the damp clothes from my body and headed into my bathroom. Images of the day flickered through my mind as I closed my eyes and allowed the hot water to wash away the remnants of the lake. Thoughts of the upcoming gala and having to come face to face with Grant again had my stomach feeling sick. I hadn’t given my inheritance much thought before today. Like I told Roman, I was so sure I wanted nothing to do with any of it, but now, a small part of me wanted it all—wanted to make sure Grant couldn’t get his hands on what my father spent his whole life trying to build.

Stepping out of the shower, I dried off and slipped into a pair of red pajama shorts and a matching tank top. I ran the towel through my hair, and as I walked back into my room, I glanced at my nightstand. My heart dropped to my stomach, and the towel fell from my hands. Looking around, I ran to the balcony. Roman walked off in the distance, his back turned, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

My eyes moved back to my nightstand. Sitting upon it sat a little box, wrapped in shiny blue paper, adorned with a silver bow. With trembling hands, I picked up the box and sat down on my bed. My heart sputtered in my chest, and I glided my fingers under the clear pieces of tape. Removing the paper from the package, I opened the lid of the box and found a little envelope. I immediately recognized Roman’s handwriting.

For when you’re ready to start living . . .

I placed the card down on the bed beside me and removed the tissue paper from the box. My breath caught in my throat, and my hand shot to my mouth. In the box lay a small glass bottle adorned with a beautiful silver chain. Brown twine twisted around the neck of the bottle, and a small silver tag hung from the side that read, “W
ish.”
Tears filled my eyes as I stared at the tiny bottle filled with dandelion seeds.
“The moment you stop wishing, Julia, is the moment you stop living.”
Roman’s voice echoed in my head, but rather than jumping from my bed and going to him like I wanted to, I placed the small bottle back in its box and placed it in my nightstand drawer.

I was ready to start living.

I just no longer wanted to do it alone.

THE GALA WAS
that following Saturday. I had spoken with Lacey and Shane who didn’t seem to be bothered by my sudden disappearance at the club. Turns out, Lacey ended up leaving with some guy anyway, and Shane was fine mingling with the crowd. He gladly accepted my offer of attending the gala and planned to arrive with Lacey. That meant I’d be getting ready by myself, which I was fine with. While I’d miss her expert cosmetic skills, I’d enjoy the quiet solitude of my room.

I knew being around Roman was going to be hard. So for the past week, I did what I could to avoid him. I skipped out on my morning runs, and even lucked out when our yoga classes for the week were canceled. It was something about our instructor being on vacation and not being able to find a replacement. I hadn’t seen him since my birthday, and I tried convincing myself it was what we both needed. I took the time to lose myself in several good books, and even cleaned out my closet, sorting through the clothes I wanted to keep and the ones I wanted to donate. A small pile of folded clothes rested on the center of my floor, waiting to be packed away in my suitcase. I wasn’t taking much with me. I had finally decided on an apartment and my lease application was already submitted. All I was waiting on was the approval. I’d worry about furnishing my apartment as soon as I knew for sure I had one.