Money’s on the Dresser: Escorting, Porn and Promiscuity in Las Vegas (24 page)

The majority of the men I see are married and would label themselves as straight or bisexual. I think many of these men came from a background where it is expected and encouraged to grow up and settle down with a woman. Most get married in their early twenties and have little to no experience dealing with homosexual feelings. Many of the men I have met through escorting don’t even start becoming aware of their same-sex feelings until after they are married or well into their twenties, thirties, or possibly later. I’ve had numerous men contact me who were in their fifties, sixties, and seventies who have suddenly had a desire to explore the same-sex feelings they have been wrestling with for years. In my mind, the first question is, “What took you so long to figure this out?”

I basically knew I was gay since I was about five years old and have been sexually attracted to men my entire life. It baffles me to think of similar men going through their entire lives without acting on these feelings or not even knowing they were gay. I believe the men who had an inkling they were gay got so fed up after years of repressing that part of themselves, they finally got to a place where they could say fuck it and give me—or a fellow escort—a call. Is it ideal for a man to cheat on his wife? No, but it is the reality in which we live. I have an idea of what it feels like to go through your life hiding who you truly are, unable to express it. Sexuality, like relationships, is not black and white. It brings me joy to be able to offer some help and release to these men who are questioning their sexuality and trying to figure out who they are.

What I offer is comfort, companionship, intimacy, and release. We are constantly being told of what is right, what is wrong, what is acceptable, and what is not. I think it’s time to say fuck it and start listening to our hearts. What is it I’m trying to tell you? In my thirty-plus years on this planet, I have learned the heart never lies, and everything you need to know is already inside you.

While, yes, I did start working as an escort to make money, travel, and gain new experiences, that was not enough to sustain me in this industry for this period of time. There are days when I want to scream at potential clients for giving me the runaround, lying to me, and blowing me off, but then I realize it’s all a part of the game. I have met more good people doing this line of work than bad, and the experiences I have had doing so are invaluable to me. Clients have become friends, mentors, and family. Some have even become closer to me than my actual family because we share a special bond nobody else would understand. I have some clients whose families have rejected them because of who they are, and some clients who have unhealthy, damaging relationships with their spouses. They are unhappy people and they are desperately looking for an escape from their misery. I am happy to be there to give them this experience and provide them with an escape, even if it is temporary.

As far as longevity in this industry, I will continue to do it as long as it feels right. Like anything in life, everything has its season, and when this season comes to an end, my heart will tell me it’s time to move on. I’m a hypochondriac and a chronic worrier, and I constantly worry that someday something will happen to me where I cannot continue to escort. I hate living with this kind of fear, but it has helped push me to constantly be on the lookout and prepare myself for the next step and adventure in my life.

I know some men who have been escorting for more than fifteen years and they still look and feel great. They started in the industry as a young boyish twink, and they are now big-muscled daddies who continue to fulfill fantasies for countless men around the world. I also know some men who do this line of work for a few years, see thousands of dollars pass through their hands every week, and have nothing to show for it when they decided to leave the industry. A lot of people leave the escorting business because they’re pressured to do so by someone they are dating, or they cannot handle the stress and get tired of the bullshit of dealing with countless individuals and their various quirks and needs. Many escorts come back into the business bitter and jaded because they’ve realized it’s all they know and all they can do where they will make this much money with little to no education and without having to work very hard if they don’t want to.

I have many clients who have been hiring escorts for ten, fifteen, and even more than twenty years. Many of them find it much easier than dating or looking for guys at the bar or online. They feel like if they have the funds, they’d rather find someone they’re attracted to, spend an hour or so together, pay them their money, and say good-bye. It’s a lot less complicated than relationships, and both parties get what they want. A lot of these men who have been hiring for years will tell me to be smart with my money and not fall into the same path they’ve seen other workers in the sex industry fall into. It’s common to see many of these men in the industry escort and do porn for years and get wrapped up in the lifestyle of drugs, frivolous spending, constant money and presents coming in, and someone to always take care of you. The smart ones know it won’t last forever and prepare for the time when it will come to an end.

I’ve had many clients warn me to avoid turning out like so many escorts: addicted to drugs, washed up, out of shape, still hoping for that phone to ring, lowering their hourly rates to embarrassing amounts. It seems like many men have never heard the term “bow out gracefully,” and I know this is not something I want for myself. I continue to work on taking care of myself mentally and physically so I do not end up worn out, exhausted, and hating life. No matter how much money you make as an escort—or any profession, really—if you’re not happy doing what you are doing and with where you are at in life, then what’s the point of doing it?

A big part of me continues to tell myself what I am doing is simply “business.” I am running a business, Christopher Daniels is a brand, and I have a website, a Facebook page, and a Twitter account. I reply to e-mails in a timely manner and try to conduct myself professionally at all times. Escorting is a business, and I am a businessman.

Okay, that’s true, but I guess there is more to it. Why else am I doing this? For me, a big part of doing this and porn is for the constant approval. Hearing how beautiful you are on a daily basis becomes addictive. You get used to being desired by others, and the attention is nice. Being in porn and escorting is highly narcissistic, and I am fully aware of my overly inflated ego and pure unadulterated narcissism. Part of that is what sustains me in this industry and keeps me going. I can say it’s not necessarily a healthy thing, but it is what it is and I recognize it. A lot of escorts and porn stars are highly self-absorbed and are sensitive people. We are put on display for everyone to judge and criticize. Many of us put on a brave face and a “fuck you” attitude, but once you break through the hard exterior, you’ll find that many of us are hurt, wounded individuals who desperately want to be loved and accepted. Can I say we honestly get that acceptance and love from escorting? Probably not, but we continue doing it. The money, recognition, and temporary acceptance give us a high and make us feel powerful. How close am I to leaving this business? Who knows? It depends on the day, I guess, but I still keep pushing ahead because it really isn’t all that bad of a life. Sure, it’s dysfunctional and can bring up some deep-rooted dark feelings I didn’t know existed, but I find the good usually outweighs the bad.

In putting together this book, I felt very focused on getting my point across that an escort is a businessman. We are there to make money, and it’s the main reason for doing this. In collecting my stories and having to bring up situations from the past few years, I have begun to see the men’s reason for coming to us is because they desire some human connection that is not being met in their lives. Something is missing within themselves, and by reaching out to me and other escorts, they are trying to amend that. It’s not always about sex. While sex is generally expected during our time together, oftentimes it is not the sole purpose of the meeting and, in fact, sometimes doesn’t even happen. I have spent countless hours talking to men, holding them, hearing them talk about everything, from the most trivial bullshit to some of their deepest and darkest feelings. More often than not, the client wants lighthearted conversation and companionship with another man because that’s what missing from his live.

While I cannot speak on behalf of escorts everywhere, I know this is a deep-rooted need within myself as well; I am seeking the same from a client, in a sense. We both want love, approval, acceptance, companionship, and intimacy. Getting it from a client isn’t exactly necessary for escorts, but it seems to happen at different times. Are we really that much different from each other? Not really. While I wish I could say it was all about business and money, for me it’s not. The journey of writing this book has been an up and down experience. Once I stopped using the left side of my brain when putting my experiences down on paper, I was able to see what escorting was to me: a deep human connection and a need to be close to another person. Not just from the client, but for the escort as well.

About the Book

In September of 2009, I began working as an escort in Las Vegas after breaking up with my partner of four years. As a newly single man I felt lost, scared to be on my own and broke, so I decided the best solution was to place an ad on a few websites advertising male escorts and hired companions. To my surprise, hours after the ad went up I began receiving a wide range of requests. These requests came from people with disabilities, physical deformities, average looking married business men and gorgeous men I could only fantasize of sleeping with. Some of these men became mentors and friends while others made me want to run out of the room screaming. These experiences were overwhelming and at times left me speechless. I didn’t know what else to do with these feelings, so I decided to write. Here is a collection of short stories based on those experiences. The names and places of these events have all been changed.

About the Author

Christopher Daniels began working as an escort in Las Vegas of 2009 and started in adult films the following year. He was voted
Rentboy.com
’s Mr. San Francisco Escort of 2013 as well as Mr. International Escort of the Year 2013. He spends his time traveling, doing personal appearances across the country and as much time as he can in his home in Las Vegas with the two loves of his life, his Cockapoos, Faust and Finnegan. For daily updates be sure to follow him on Twitter @ctopherdaniels, his personal website
ctopherdaniels.com
and
Facebook.com/CtopherdanielsVegas