Monster Madness (9 page)
Authors: Dean Lorey
Charlie awoke to find himself lying on a large pile of bones at the bottom of a deep pit. Water dripped from the ceiling high above, and he could hear streams of it flowing on either side. He glanced over to see the others next to him, also beginning to stir. He had no idea where they were, exactly—some kind of cave, it looked like—but he knew they were alive, at least, and that was the most important thing. He lifted his shirt to find that the Hydra’s teeth had left pinpricks of blood across his stomach and back but, thankfully, the damage was no worse than that.
“Charlie…,” a weak voice called out beside him. It was Violet. “Did we all make it?”
“I think so…but I don’t know how. Why didn’t the Hydra eat us?”
“It’s because of their social structure,” Pinch said, raising himself up and propping his elbows on the bony spine of some kind of giant fish—bits of meat still clung to its ribcage. “None of the workers are allowed to eat before the Mother Hydra does—she gets first pick of all the food. Once she’s done, the males can have what’s left.”
“So that’s why you told me to stop fighting and let them take us?” Charlie asked. “You knew that they’d bring us to the Mother Hydra?”
Pinch shrugged. “Well, it was worth a try, wasn’t it? I think we should all just be thankful that she likes her meals alive when she eats them, or our circumstances would truly be dire.”
“You mean more dire than being trapped in a Hydra nest waiting to get eaten by the Queen?” Theodore asked, sitting up.
“Dire is better than dead, Mr. Dagget. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“I’d agree that my butt hurts from lying on all these bones.”
“Okay,” Violet said. “Let’s see what we’re up against.” She clambered to the lip of the pit. Charlie followed, but what he saw once he got there wasn’t encouraging. They were in some kind of underwater cave. Rivers of water fed large, dark pools. Male Hydras dived in and out of them, presumably to swim out to the ocean beyond. There had to be at least thirty of the wretched beasts. Just past the pools, Charlie got his first glimpse of the Mother Hydra, lounging like a queen upon her throne.
She was enormous, nearly the size of a whale. Her brilliant blue scales shone brightly even in the dim light of the cavern. A couple of her large, toothy heads kept watch while the rest of them slept peacefully by her side. A few adventurous baby Hydras, each the size of a bear, playfully wrestled with one another throughout the cave while the rest crowded around her, nursing at the many ducts that ran up and down her plated belly.
“You see those ducts?” Violet said, pointing at the Mother Hydra’s stomach. “That’s where we get the milk.”
“Right,” Charlie said. “Perfect.”
“Perfect?” Theodore repeated as he scrambled up out of the pit next to them. “What do you mean, perfect? How are we gonna get the milk? This isn’t a supermarket. We can’t just walk up and buy a quart!”
“Shhh!” Charlie and Violet said at the same time.
“Look, Theodore,” Violet continued. “Finding the Mother Hydra was the hardest part. Now one of us just has to sneak over there and milk her.”
“Oh, is that all?” Theodore whispered. “Just sneak up and milk the giant monster? Easy!”
A couple of the nearby baby Hydras turned and looked at them.
“Shhhh!” Charlie and Violet said again, more forcefully this time.
“You don’t have to worry about it,” Charlie added, “because I’m the one who’s gonna go do it.”
“Negatory,” Theodore replied. “This operation requires skill and subtlety, exactly the kind of procedure that Dr. Dagget performs—the Doctor of Gettin’ It Done! I’m all man, baby! That’s just the way I roll.”
“Uh-huh,” Charlie said, grinning. “Well, tempting as that offer is, you’ve got to stay back here to portal everyone out in case something goes wrong.”
“Like what? You die?”
“Theodore!” Violet snapped.
“Hey, don’t look at me—he brought it up!”
“I’m not gonna die,” Charlie said. “I just mean…there’s a lot here we can’t control.”
“Which could lead to you dying,” Theodore repeated. “Which is why I’m doing this and you’re not.”
“The decision is made.” Charlie turned away from him as if that settled it.
“Ah, the decision is made. Okay. Gotcha. So is there anything in particular you’d like me to tell your parents if things don’t work out with this great decision? And how would you like us to handle your remains? For instance, if there’s just a finger left, do you want us to retrieve it for the funeral or would you prefer a closed casket?”
“Theodore, that’s sick!”
“And it’s not gonna work,” Charlie added. “You’re not gonna scare me. I’m doing this.”
“What about me?” Violet said, “I can do it. Or am I out of the running because I’m a girl?” Her stare was withering.
“Look, I know you can do it,” Charlie said. “But you have to stay back here to keep the Hydras off Theodore while he makes a portal in case something goes wrong. Basically, I need you here to fight.”
“I can fight,” Theodore said. “She’s not the only one who can fight, you know, just ’cause she’s a Banisher.”
Charlie closed his eyes tightly.
“You guys are making me crazy, you know that? Will you both please just stay here and handle things on this end without a gigantic argument so I can go milk the Mother Hydra in peace?”
“Sure,” Violet said.
“Good. Theodore?”
“What? Yes! Just go milk your stupid Hydra. Geez.”
“Do you have a plan, at least?” Violet asked. “I mean, how do you think you’re gonna get across all that open ground without being spotted?”
“I’ll show you.” Charlie turned to the nearest baby Hydra and called out to it: “Hey there, little fella.”
The baby Hydra’s six heads swiveled toward him. It’s actually kind of cute in a crazy way, Charlie thought. He continued sweet-talking to it. “That’s a good baby. Come over here, nice little Hydra. Come to Charlie.”
The baby looked at him quizzically, then stumbled toward him on its four unsteady legs.
“What a good boy!” Charlie whispered. “Here, Hydra, Hydra, Hydra…here, cute baby Hydra…”
“Well, that’s not something you hear every day,” Theodore said. “Out of curiosity, what makes you think the baby won’t want to, you know, eat you? It may be an infant, but it’s still twice your size.”
“It won’t eat me because it doesn’t eat meat yet. It’s still drinking mother’s milk, which means it should take me straight to the mother.”
After a couple of seconds, the baby Hydra arrived, and Charlie gently stroked one of its six heads. It cooed, seeming to like the attention.
“Okay, here we go.”
Charlie glanced at the adult male Hydras that were busily shuffling around the large cavern. They seemed unaware of what was happening, so he quickly jumped out of the pit and slithered underneath the monstrous infant. He wrapped his arms and legs around it, clinging to its belly like a baby monkey.
“Let’s go, little fella. Let’s go to Mommy. Aren’t you hungry? Aren’t you thirsty?”
The baby just stood there. Charlie couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t moving until he realized that it was staring curiously at Theodore.
“Goo-goo-goo!” the skinny boy said to the baby monster. “You are a little six-headed mutant! You are a scaly little freak!” He put his thumbs in his ears, wiggled his fingers, and stuck out his tongue while making a raspberry noise.
“Theodore?” Charlie said through gritted teeth, still desperately clinging to the underside of the creature.
“Yeah?”
“Will you please…stop distracting…the monster.”
“Oh, sure thing.”
Without another word, Theodore slid down into the pit to join Pinch in the tangle of bones.
“Good luck,” Violet said. “You either be real careful or real lucky.”
“I’ll try to be both.” He gave her a quick smile, then turned to the baby Hydra. “Come on, little fella. Let’s go see Mommy.”
The baby Hydra turned and headed through the vast cavern while Charlie clung to its belly. As it weaved uncertainly through the adult male Hydras, Charlie held his breath, praying that none of them would see him or smell him. To his relief, not a single beast even glanced in his direction.
Finally, the infant arrived at its mother.
From this close, her stomach looked like a cliff face, tall and hard and sheer. Charlie could hear the babies suckling as they crowded around the many rows of milk-giving ducts.
Just relax, he told himself. Be still.
Luckily, the babies were too interested in feeding to notice him. As for the Mother Hydra, four of her heads were asleep and the two that remained awake had heavy-lidded eyes and looked as if they might nod off at any time. As Charlie’s baby Hydra began to suckle, he slid out from underneath it and, searching quickly, found an unused duct that wept a thin white fluid.
Milk! he thought gleefully. Hydra milk—finally!
Then—to his complete horror—he realized that in all the craziness he hadn’t brought anything to put the Hydra milk in.
Oh, no, he thought. How could I have forgotten something so simple? Stupid! Stupid!
He forced himself to calm down and think. There must be something he had, some little container that that would work, right? He frantically inspected everything on him: belt, shoes, wallet? No, no, and no.
C’mon!
The more he searched, the less he seemed to find until, suddenly, success—
Chapstick.
In his pocket was a little tube of grape, Flava-Craze Chapstick.
He took it out, popped off the cap, and spun the dial until the waxy stuff inside was completely exposed. Then he threw the innards away, leaving himself with a small, cylindrical container and a cap.
Thank heaven, he thought, sweating profusely. That should do it. After all, the Headmaster had said that the Guardian only needed a sip, didn’t she? The Chapstick container should hold more than enough.
Forcing himself to focus despite his frantically beating heart, he turned back to the weeping duct—
—only to find himself face to face with one of the Mother Hydra’s heads.
The great beast’s lips drew back to reveal black gums that held crooked teeth as long as baseball bats. Her orange eyes drew down to snakelike slits and she stared at him with silent fury.
“Oh no,” Charlie gasped. “This can’t be happening.”
“How’s Charlie doing?” Theodore asked.
“It’s hard to tell,” Violet replied, looking intently. “There’s so many babies crawling around over there that I can’t really even see him.”
Just then, the Mother Hydra roared loudly enough that the sound waves caused violent ripples to form in the still pools. The great beast leaped to her feet, all six heads awake and snapping furiously.
“Run!” they heard a voice cry out then—it was Charlie. “Portal away! Mayday! Mayday!”
The little figure of Charlie Benjamin came running toward them from across the cavern floor, but he was still almost a football field away.
“How did I know this was going to happen?” Pinch moaned, as adult Hydras descended on them from all sides in a forest of chomping jaws. Violet’s ax seemed to spring into her hands so fast that it looked like a magician’s trick. With a few quick swipes of its glowing blue blade, several Hydra heads dropped down into the pit, twitching wildly.
“Open a portal!” Violet yelled to Theodore. “And I’ll hold them off you as long as I can!”
She began to spin, bobbing up and down with her double-bladed ax, lopping off monster heads as she did. Theodore, meanwhile, closed his eyes and tried to access his core fear—
If I die in here, he thought, my dad will kill me.
Charlie sprinted through the cavern like a man who…well, like a man who had a giant Hydra chasing after him. He lifted the closed Chapstick container to his ear and gave it a quick shake.
There was a slight sloshing sound in there.
Milk.
Hydra milk.
Just before the deadly beast attacked, he’d managed to steal one quick squeeze of milk from the duct nearest him. It’s not much, he thought, but hopefully it will be enough.
Even though his tremendous skill as a Banisher gave him unnatural speed, the Mother Hydra quickly gained on him, the hot breath from her mouths blasting his back like a furnace. He knew he couldn’t outrun her or outfight her, so his only option was to outthink her.
“Catch!” Charlie yelled and threw the Chapstick container across the cavern and into the waiting hands of Pinch.
“Got it!” Pinch shouted back, ducking the jaws of one Hydra while getting saved from another by Violet’s astonishing ax work. While Theodore tried to open his portal, Charlie got ready to open a different one—this time to the Pacific Ocean.
Wetwash, he thought. Time for the last resort.
Running frantically, he extended his right hand, closed his eyes, and started to open a portal—
—but, before he could finish, the ground began to rumble violently.
Stalactites plunged from the ceiling and slammed into the rock below like massive spears. The water from the many pools sloshed over their banks, creating a slick surface that Charlie and the Hydras skidded across wildly.
What’s happening? he thought.
There was something familiar about the shaking, about the way the ground was moving….
No, he thought. It can’t be!
The rocky floor in the center of the chamber exploded upward, and a gigantic wormlike creature sailed out of it. Its massive, gray body was as thick as a rocket and seemed nearly as long. Hundreds of legs lined its sides, like a centipede, and its head was a pointed dome that looked for all the world like a giant drill bit. The creature hovered high in the air, curled in an S shape, until the hard dome of its head peeled back to expose two large, dark eyes and a buglike face with waving antennae.
Midway down its body was a shiny black belt, covered in red runes. Charlie immediately recognized it as one of the Artifacts of the Nether.
“Hello, Charlie Benjamin,” the Named Lord said in a voice choked with dirt.
“Hello, Slagguron,” Charlie replied.
“You know who I am?” the Third Named asked. His thunderous voice caused tremors throughout the cavern.
“Well, I’ve met the other Named, and you’re wearing one of the Artifacts of the Nether”—Charlie pointed to the glowing belt around Slagguron’s oozing middle—“plus you’re the size of a building, so I just made an educated guess.”
“I had heard you were smart, Charlie Benjamin. Quick. To be respected.” Slagguron smiled. “I heard correctly.”
“Well, you may have heard about me, but I haven’t heard much about you. Near as I can tell, no one’s ever even seen you.”
“I stay underground. Alone. Unlike the others.” Slagguron said the word others with a hint of distaste.
“You don’t like them?” Charlie asked. He figured that any rift among the Named could be used to his advantage in the future—if he lived to see the future.
“I don’t like or dislike them. I am one of Four. I serve my purpose.”
“To summon the Fifth?”
The great creature nodded. “To do what I must, I need your help, Charlie Benjamin. You must open a portal to bring me to Earth.”
“I thought you had a different plan.” Charlie began to walk toward him. “I thought you were using children to kill the Guardian, and then you were planning to escape through the Anomaly.”
“No. That is Tyrannus’s plan. The Anomaly is too high for me to reach. I cannot fly.”
Charlie was a little taken aback—that had never even occurred to him. “I guess you can’t. So you didn’t scheme to bring those children to the Nether?”
Slagguron shook his head. “They do not belong here.”
“Trust me,” Charlie said, “we’re not going to leave any of them behind. Any kids we find, we’re taking straight back to Earth.”
“Take me with them.” Slagguron’s voice was steady and calm, as if he were asking nothing more challenging of Charlie than to give him a quick ride on his bike to the 7-Eleven.
“You can’t really believe I’d do that, do you? I mean, that would be crazy. You’re planning to kill us.”
“Yes.”
“So why would I ever help you?”
Slagguron slithered forward—it was like a skyscraper moving. “We four Named will get to Earth, Charlie Benjamin. With you or without you. Join me and you will be respected. Protected.”
“That’s a lie. Barakkas told me the same thing, and then he tried to kill me. Verminion said the same to Pinch before he slaughtered his whole family.”
“That’s right,” Pinch said from somewhere far behind Charlie.
Slagguron flicked a look his way. Pinch quickly retreated.
“That is true,” the monster said, “but do not compare me with the others. Verminion is a liar. He says one thing but means another. His words shift. They change. I am unchanging, like the rock I burrow through.”
“What about Barakkas?” Charlie prompted. “What do you think about him?”
“One moment he is normal, the next he rages. He is not steady. He changes. I am unchanging, like the rock I burrow through.”
“And Tyrannus?”
“Tyrannus is insane. His mind is filled with madness. He is ever-changing. I am unchanging—”
“Like the rock you burrow through?” Theodore called out.
Everyone glared at him.
“Sorry.” Theodore pretended to zip his lips shut.
“Will you help me, Charlie Benjamin?” Slagguron asked. “Your safety is guaranteed.”
“How do I know you won’t change your mind? That it will remain…unchanging, just like you say you are?”
“Look at my actions. I have already protected you once, from the Hydra.”
Charlie glanced at the Mother Hydra. In all the chaos, he had actually forgotten about her. She hung back, clearly afraid of the colossal Named creature.
“Well, if we were on the debate squad,” Charlie said, “someone—not me, of course—could argue that the only reason you saved me from her is because I couldn’t help you if I was dead.”
“So I saved you to use you?”
“Someone could argue that—not me, of course.”
“But she is not threatening you now.”
Charlie shrugged. “Not really. Not with you here.”
“So I have nothing to gain from killing her now, do I?”
“I guess not.”
Suddenly, Slagguron whipped his massive body forward and slammed himself down on the Mother Hydra with the force of a building collapsing. She was crushed instantly under his incredible weight. When he rose back up to his full height, her corpse—leaking black ichor—didn’t even twitch.
“Why…why did you do that?” Charlie said, aghast. He was stunned by the Named Lord’s sudden, unprovoked violence.
“It was just a token. A small gift from me to you.”
A gift?
Charlie could barely speak. It wasn’t as if he cared about the Mother Hydra—after all, she had just tried to eat him—but that was only after he had messed with her babies and stolen her milk. She had a right to be at least a little angry, didn’t she?
But now she was dead.
Even worse, they had lost the opportunity to ever get her restorative milk again…or maybe that was Slagguron’s plan all along.
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Help me now and I will protect you, Charlie Benjamin. You have my word. My word, like me, is unchanging.”
Charlie didn’t know how to respond. It had clearly come to the point where he had to make a choice, but all of his options seemed terrible.
He could try to portal away with his friends, but after seeing the sheer speed of Slagguron, he knew they couldn’t do it in time. The only other option was to do as Slagguron asked and bring him to Earth—but that was madness, wasn’t it? After his failure with Barakkas there was no way Charlie was going to be responsible for bringing another Lord of the Nether into the world, even to save his own life.
But was that a choice he could make for his friends? If he had a chance to save them, even a slight one, shouldn’t he take it?
“Let’s just kill him!” Theodore shouted from across the cavern, his eyes filled with manic energy. “We got the DT on our side, not to mention Ms. Ax Attack. Plus I can sling a portal with the best of them, and then there’s Pinch, who can do…well, whatever it is that Pinch does. Trust me, that big worm doesn’t stand a chance!”
“Does your brain ever communicate with your mouth?” Violet asked incredulously.
“Hey, is it my fault I’m feeling confident? I’m just tired of being bullied by these big bad boys. Let’s do this thing! Let’s kill this sucker!”
“No,” Charlie said. The word echoed across the cavern with calm finality.
“What do you mean, no?” Theodore asked. “What else are we gonna do? I mean, you’re definitely not gonna portal him to Earth, are you?”
“Actually,” Charlie said, “that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
“What?” Violet shouted.
“You can’t be serious,” Pinch added.
“I’m deadly serious.”
Charlie closed his eyes. Brilliant purple fire raced across him, and he opened a portal just large enough for Slagguron to slither through. On the other side was Death Valley: a flat, featureless desert with only some cactus and a lone rattlesnake curled up under a rock to break the terrible monotony.
“There,” he said to Slagguron. “I didn’t know where you wanted to go, exactly, but the desert is pretty open. You should be able to get underground in no time.”
Slagguron stared at the portal suspiciously. “I…did not expect you to do as I asked.”
“Then why did you?”
“I have been following you for some time, Charlie Benjamin. Tracking you by the vibration of your footfalls—they are unique. Specific. I wanted to gain your trust.”
“And now you have and I’ve done what you wanted, so go on through.” Charlie gestured toward the open portal. “Earth awaits.”
Slagguron stared at the fiery gateway but made no move to enter it.
“No,” he said finally. “This is a trap. You mean to close it on me. Cut me in half, like you once did to Barakkas’s arm.”
“Look, you wanted my trust,” Charlie said, “and I gave it to you. Now you won’t trust me in return? Why don’t you just kill me if you don’t believe me? Kill all of us.”
“Charlie!” Violet cried out, horrified.
“You are sly,” Slagguron replied. “Deceitful, like Verminion.”
“Only a liar believes everyone is lying to them.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” Slagguron thundered, rising to his full height, his voice deepening with barely controlled rage. “I am unchanging—”
“Like the rock you burrow through. Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard you sing that song before.” Charlie shook his head impatiently. “Look, you gonna go through the portal or you gonna kill me? Just pick one already. I’m getting bored.”
Slagguron stared at Charlie with his large black eyes. Finally, he shook his great head. “We will meet again.”
He leaped into the air like a swimmer off the high dive as hard, protective panels snapped across his face, creating a point like a drill bit. With amazing ease, he burrowed back into the ground, leaving behind a giant tunnel that snaked away into the dark recesses of the Nether.
Within moments, he was gone.
“Wow,” Theodore said, his jaw hanging open in astonishment.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” Violet seconded.
Pinch, however, was focused on something else. The adult Hydras were closing in on them, mouths widening, teeth glistening with drool. “I think it might be wise for us to make a hasty exit.”
“You may be right,” Violet agreed, glancing around at the monsters as they prepared to avenge the death of their Queen.
Suddenly, one of the Hydras leaped out of the pool next to Charlie and lunged at him, snapping furiously. Instinctively, Charlie drew his rapier and lopped off two of the beast’s heads. The instant he did, the giant portal to Death Valley slammed shut—a stark reminder that not even a Double-Threat could Nethermance and Banish at the same time.
“Theodore! Open a portal!” Charlie yelled, running to join the group as he fended off the remaining heads of the Hydra. “We need to get outa here, pronto!”
Theodore worked on making a portal as Charlie and Violet—back to back—frantically swung their weapons, creating a heap of Hydra heads.
“Duck!” Pinch shouted.
They did, narrowly avoiding a tail swipe from the nearest beast.
“Get ready,” Theodore yelled. “Here it comes!”
His portal snapped open.
The four of them leaped through it, followed by another Hydra. Theodore quickly closed the portal behind them, slicing the pursuing creature in two, forcing it to suffer the same terrible fate that Slagguron had so recently feared for himself.
Several students crowded around Charlie, Pinch, Violet, and Theodore, checking out the slaughtered Hydra that lay on the warm sand of the beach in front of the Nightmare Academy.
“Take a good look!” Theodore said proudly. “That critter just got NM’d—Nethermanced! That’s a Theodore Dagget specialty.”
He pronounced it spesh-ee-al-it-ee.
“Why did you do it?” Violet asked, pulling Charlie away from the group, while Theodore continued to regale the crowd with his accomplishments. “Why did you open that portal for Slagguron?”
“To kill him. I meant to close it on him, just like he said. I guess I wasn’t clever enough.”
“Indeed,” Pinch said, walking up. “And what if you hadn’t been fast enough, either, allowing him to escape to Earth, unharmed?”
“He didn’t.”
“He could have. That was quite a gamble, young man.”
“Isn’t everything? Besides, if I hadn’t opened the portal, he would have killed us anyway. It put him on the defensive. I thought keeping him off balance was our best chance for survival.”
“Well, it worked,” Violet said. “I gotta give you credit for that, although I still don’t know why Slagguron just left like he did.”
“Because it was a stalemate,” Charlie replied. “He didn’t trust the portal I made but he also didn’t want to kill me, because only the Headmaster and I can make a portal big enough for him to escape through and he wanted to keep that option open in the future.”
“But why? Why would he ever trust another portal from you if he didn’t trust this one?”
“Gosh, I don’t know, Violet,” Charlie replied with a sudden flash of anger. “Unfortunately, he forgot to invite me to his ‘Escape from the Nether’ planning party.”
“Hey, relax! Don’t be such a smart aleck. I’m trying to figure all this out just like you.”
“Sorry,” Charlie said, chagrined. “I guess I’m just frustrated because I know he’s up to something but I don’t know what.”
“Maybe this was just plan A? Maybe he was just trying his luck with you, seeing if you’d panic and open a portal that he could escape through—but once he saw how tough you were, he knew he couldn’t bully you, so he moved on to plan B.”
“Which is?”
“I don’t know,” Violet said with a sigh. “Maybe plan B has nothing to do with you. Maybe he’ll just try to escape through the Anomaly if the Guardian dies.”
“But how would he get up to it?”
Violet pursed her lips, thinking. “Tyrannus? Do you think Tyrannus is strong enough to carry him there?”
Charlie shrugged. “Could be. But none of that will matter, as long as the Guardian stays healthy, which reminds me”—he turned to Pinch—“do you have the milk?”
Pinch held up the Chapstick container. “Indeed I do.”
“Excellent. We better get it to the Headmaster right away. It’s supposed to restore anyone who drinks it to when they were most powerful. I sure hope that’s true.”
“So do I,” Pinch said.
Then, to everyone’s astonishment, he took the cap off the Chapstick container and, licking his lips, drank the milk of the Mother Hydra.