Montana Rescue (The Wildes of Birch Bay Book 2) (18 page)

“She
couldn’t
love you, Nick.”

“I know. Logically, I get it. But I was ripped apart when she died. I should have saved her.”

Pain sliced across Harper’s face as she studied him. He could tell she was trying to figure out what to say next. How to make it better. And he could have told her that talking about it was already making it better. But it still wasn’t enough, so he waited. Hoping she’d say something so brilliant that he could suddenly rewrite his emotions from fifteen years ago.

“Refresh my memory . . . how did she die?” When Harper finally spoke, her words came out so softly that Nick could barely hear them in the stillness of the night.

“Car crash.”

“And were you in the car with her?”

He shook his head.

“Then—”

“It doesn’t have to make sense, does it?” He took her hand in his and kissed her palm. “I get that it wasn’t my fault. Yet . . . it still was. I found out years later that she’d caused the crash herself, because she once again wanted Dani’s attention. Dani had gone off to college—back to New York—and Mom couldn’t get her to come home. So she planned the crash to get her to rush home. Only, it didn’t go quite as planned. Mom ended up hitting another car, and died from internal bleeding before anyone even knew it was happening. Cord found her. He says she was asking for Dani up until the end.”

Understanding dawned. “And that bothered you that she asked for your sister?”

He couldn’t answer. Dani’s life had been far worse than his, yet he’d spent years being jealous of her. Angry at her.

“But you know it’s not because she loved Dani more,” Harper said.

He nodded, then looked away. He couldn’t stare into those eyes any longer. That only made it worse. “Hell,” he muttered. He dragged his hand down over his face. “How messed up is that, huh? She had it ten times worse. Yet I was jealous of a sister who—with my own eyes—I saw being treated more unfairly than me.”

“Like you said, it doesn’t have to make sense. Mothers are supposed to love their kids. When that doesn’t happen, I’d suspect a lot of wires get crossed.”

“I suspect you’re right.”

They both grew quiet as he thought back over the years after she’d died. Their mother had hurt her own daughter so much, that at eighteen, Dani had blocked the memories. She’d ended up repainting the past, putting their mother on a pedestal. The rest of them had gone along with it. Why force her to remember? To hurt like they did? And hey, maybe if they all tried hard enough, then they might remember differently, as well. But that never happened. And though he’d been thankful for everything Dani had done, he’d had to get away from
her
, too.

“I left home at eighteen because I couldn’t stand the thought of being in this house one minute longer,” he told Harper. “My mother was still here. Her presence, anyway. And that presence overshadowed everything. I couldn’t be here. And I never wanted to come back.”

“Yet you do now.”

He gave a single, dry chuckle. “Does that mean I’m maturing?”

“Or just that you have enough distance to finally deal with it.”

Nick gave her a sad smile—knowing she was talking about herself, too—and returned to staring at the stars. He kept a hand on Harper’s back, stroking the length of her spine, and she once again tucked in against his chest. He liked them this way.

And he liked that they were talking.

“I never expected to share all that,” he told her. “And certainly not with someone outside the family.”

“I hope it helped.”

“
You
help,” he said.

She captured his free hand and kissed his palm the way he’d done hers. “I’m glad.” Then she snuggled in even tighter, and they lay there, the sun fully set now and no lights on in the house, and let the darkness surround them.

At the sound of her stomach rumbling, he suggested going in to forage for food.

“In a minute.”

So he kept her wrapped up in his arms, his wrists crossed at the small of her back.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked a few minutes later.

He kissed the top of her head. “At this point, I’d say either of us could ask the other anything.” He tilted her face up to his. “Lay it on me.”

Her mouth twisted into a half grimace, half smile, and she said, “Will you come to dinner with my family on Sunday?”

At his surprised stare, she continued.

“I
know
. I totally ditched you when you wanted me to go to Dani’s. I don’t deserve you to even consider it. Yet I’m asking. And not as my date.” She made a face before adding, “Well, I guess
technically
you’d be my date, but not like a
date
.”

“Like a not-a-third-wheel kind of date?”

“Well, not that, either. You’d actually be the only man other than my dad there.”

Nick shot her a bored look. “You make it really hard to resist, Stone.”

“I know.” She laughed lightly. “But I swear it wouldn’t be horrible. And it’s not like you don’t already know all of them. Plus, my mom is a really great cook. I’d just tell everyone that you’re coming as a friend. But I need you there because I want them to see that I’m better,” she added. “That I’m trying. They do this dinner once a month to force me out of the house, so if I were to show up with someone, that would take some of the pressure off.”

He studied her for a moment, trying hard not to read too much into what she was asking of him. She wanted to take him to dinner with her family, to show that she was what? Moving on? Getting out there?

Caring about someone else?

And he did think she cared. Though, to what extent he had no idea.

“And my showing up would say to them that you’re better?” he asked.

She nodded. He could see her nerves in the tightness around her eyes. This was important to her.

“Okay. I’ll do it. But on one condition.” He added the last sentence at the exact moment that she looked relieved.

“And what’s that?” She eyed him carefully.

“That you repay me the following Sunday.”

“Dinner with Dani again?”

He shook his head. “They’re out of town. But Dad and Gloria will be back, and apparently my oldest brother will be home, too. I’ll be leaving soon after, so Gloria wants to make dinner a ‘thing’ that night. She’s already e-mailed me about it.”

“Then maybe I shouldn’t be there if it’s going to be a thing.”

“Tit for tat, gorgeous.” He grinned. He had her. “You actually can’t say no.”

“Fine.” She groaned, but she smiled as she said it. “I’ll be there.” She reached up and kissed him. “Actually, I’d love to. I haven’t seen your dad in years, and I’d be honored to meet his new wife.”

“Then it’s a date.”

“Two of them,” she said wryly.

Chapter Seventeen

F
or someone who didn’t want to date, Harper found it odd that she’d not only invited a man to her parents’ house but that she’d also agreed to have dinner at his. Sometimes her common sense made no sense.

She pulled open her mother’s knife drawer and walked her fingers over the handles until she found the chef’s knife. Then she tugged the basket of zucchini closer and plucked one out. As she made the first cut, the clothes dryer sang a tune from the adjoining room.

“My sheets,” her mother mumbled. She dropped the lid back on the pot she’d been stirring and hustled out of the room.

Harper smiled to herself as her mother disappeared. Sunday was sheets day. Every bed in the house got stripped whether it had been slept in that week or not. The practice struck her as a complete waste of time, given that three of the four children who’d grown up there no longer slept in most of those beds.

She continued chopping while listening to the light humming now coming from the laundry room. She loved spending time with her mom. And even better, she’d been at the house for the last two hours, and not once had she been grilled about “how she was doing.” She’d also barely let herself think about Nick. Or the fact that they’d had a fantastic time together the last few days.

They hadn’t done much of anything—she’d helped with chores at the farm and they’d failed at making Parmesan chicken. He’d kissed her on the back of her neck, right at the base where it got her every time, and by the time she’d remembered the chicken . . . it had been too late. They’d also flown down to Big Sky and gone fly-fishing the day before. Her contracted flight had cancelled, so she’d offered to take Nick wherever he’d wanted to go.

Then there had been the nights. She almost groaned out loud at the thought of what they’d done during those nights. She’d stayed at the house with Nick the whole time. It hadn’t even crossed her mind to go home that first night after they’d both shared so much of themselves, and other than a quick trip for clean clothes and necessities, she hadn’t left Nick’s side since. Which was mildly disturbing now that she thought about it.

“I’m not here.” This came from Patti as the eighteen-year-old ducked inside the kitchen and poked her head into the fridge. Every month, the four children rotated helping in the kitchen, and this month, cooking fell on Harper. “Just need something to drink,” Patti said. She grabbed an orange juice and left as quickly as she’d shown up. Harper’s youngest sister hated anything to do with being in the kitchen.

She finished slicing the zucchini at the same time that her mother breezed back into the room. “Only one more load to do, but I’ll save that one until later,” her mom said. She turned on the faucet to rinse her hands and spoke over the running water. “Wouldn’t want to have the machines running while your new man is here.”

Harper rolled her eyes. “You know he’s not my man, Mom.”

“Well, is he coming over for dinner or isn’t he?”

“As a friend.” She handed her mother a clean towel. “
Only.
Not as my man.”

Instead of immediately replying, her mother took her time drying her hands, then opened the oven door and peered in. She closed it, the snapper remaining inside, but as she returned to the stovetop, she cast a glance Harper’s way. “So are you telling me that you haven’t slept with him?”

“Mom!” Harper yelped. She was horrified. “Why would you even . . .” She stopped talking and gaped at her mother. Was nothing sacred anymore? Mothers and daughters weren’t supposed to talk about such things. Her cheeks flamed.

“I’m just saying, that new color in your cheeks looks nice on you,” her mom added.

“That color is embarrassment.” Harper pointed to her burning cheeks. “I can’t believe you just asked me that.”

Her mom’s eyes suddenly twinkled. “You have, haven’t you?” She nodded knowingly. “I can tell. I remember what it was like when your father and I first got together.
Mmmm.
That man. I practically floated on air.”

“Really, Mom.” Harper shook her head and wanted to disappear. Jewel definitely got her outrageousness from their mother. “It’s nothing. We’re not
together
. Not in the way you mean. We’re just—” She shrugged, going for casual, but in the end she couldn’t stop the grin that stretched across her cheeks. She hung her head in shame. “We’re just having some fun,” she finished.

“Well, fun looks good on you.” Her mom kissed her cheek. “It’s what you
need
.” She winked when Harper peeked back up at her. “Even if it is just temporary.”

“Well, it is just temporary,” Harper grumbled. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking it could be anything else. I don’t—” Her voice cracked, and she took a moment to clear her throat as she thought about all she’d never have. “It’s all it’ll ever be, Mom. I can’t . . .” She ended with a shake of her head and a tight-lipped frown.

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Her mom gave her a warm hug. “This is good. Anything other than sitting home alone is
good
.”

“I know.” And she did. Her mom might say that fun looked good on her, but Harper knew the changes had come from more than the last three nights of sex. It was because she’d finally begun to heal. Not that she’d ever be completely healed. Her husband was dead. Her child never to be born. Those were burdens she’d forever bear.

But she
was
able to breathe freely for the first time since the accident, and that was due to Nick. She owed the man a huge thanks for getting in her face and not letting her push him away.

And for the first time, she thought about just how temporary all of this was. His dad would be home in a week. Which meant only seven more days.

Her mother took the vegetables to the stove while Harper opened cabinet doors and pulled down dinnerware, and together, they fell into silence as they finished preparations. Harper set the table in the dining room, taking extra care to make everything look just right, and when the doorbell rang on her last trip into the kitchen, her heart skipped a beat.

She looked at her mom, and cracked up at the sight of her mother giving her a naughty brow waggle.

“Mom,” she groaned out. She wiped off her hands and pulled the apron from her waist.

“I’m just saying,” her mother murmured. “Don’t think that temporary means you can’t have a heck of a good time.”

That darned smile returned to Harper’s face, and she decided to give her mother a piece of her own medicine. “Oh, I can definitely promise you I’ll have a good time. In fact”—she leaned in so Patti or her dad wouldn’t hear if either wandered through—“I plan to have
multiple
good times every night. And maybe again each morning.”

She headed to the front door to the sound of her mother’s laughter.

Pulling the door open, she was surprised to find not only Nick waiting outside, but Jewel and Chastity, as well. The three of them were deep in conversation, debating the merits of male versus female pregnancy, and she caught Nick’s eye over her sisters’ heads. Their shared smile made her feel all warm inside.

“The human race would end if men had to go through this,” Jewel declared. She entered the house, with Chastity on her heels.

“And I’m saying that until you walk in a man’s shoes, give your poor husband a break.”

Jewel laughed good-naturedly at Nick’s words, and as he stepped into the house, he leaned in, and with his hand on the small of Harper’s back, pressed a kiss to her lips. The move shut up both her sisters instantly as they stood there, mouths agape.

Harper flushed at the comfortable intimacy that had developed between her and Nick.

“I’m sorry,” Nick murmured. His ears turned pink. “I didn’t even think.”

“It’s not like we didn’t know—”

“Jewel,” Harper bit out.

“I’m just saying—”

“Out.” Harper pointed to the hallway, hoping her sister would actually obey for once. And shockingly, when Chastity grabbed their mouthy, younger sibling by the elbow, Jewel allowed herself to be led from the room.

As silence descended, Harper turned back to Nick. He looked as embarrassed as she felt.

“I really am sorry,” he said. “I didn’t even think. I just”—he shrugged—“it came naturally.”

“I know.” She took the two bottles of wine from him. It had come naturally to her, too. “Don’t think anything of it. I’ll have to take some teasing from everyone later on, but it’s already set the tone that I wanted to create tonight.”

She looked up at him as they both remained in the open doorway and ignored the tiny voice in her head telling her that he was even better for her than she’d thought. That he could fix her if only she’d let him.

Because she knew that to be untrue. She neither
could
be fixed nor did she deserve to be.

“I’ll put these on ice,” she said, still staring up at him. Her feet didn’t want to move.

“How about we set the tone a bit more first,” he murmured.

She nodded as if her neck and brain weren’t connected, and made an embarrassing little breathy sound when Nick pulled her to him. He kissed her again, right there in her parents’ foyer, as if the two of them hadn’t just spent nearly every minute of the last seventy-two hours together.

“And then there was the time the neighbor’s cat had seven kittens,” Chastity said.

“They were going to turn them all in to the shelter!” Harper exclaimed. “I had to do something.”

Nick laughed as Harper’s dad went into the story about how an eight-year-old Harper worked tirelessly to talk everyone she’d known into taking a kitten. The man spoke with his entire being, putting much animation into the story, and Nick also picked up on the fact that his eyes never went long without seeking out his wife at the other end of the table. There was love in this room. The real kind of love.

“We ended up with two of them,” Glen Jackson finished.

“I remember them,” Nick said. He looked across the table to Jewel for confirmation. He’d played with those cats when he’d visited. “Bert and Ernie, right?”

Jewel nodded with a small tip of her head. “Excellent memory.”

“Jewel hated those cats,” Chastity added.

“I know!” This came from Harper, who sat at Nick’s side. “But that’s because
they
hated her first. They liked everyone in the family but Jewel.”

Nick sipped his wine as he listened to the conversation continue around him. They were all so normal. So real. The kind of family that would have been nice to grow up with. And this dinner was a great idea—just having a standard, once-a-month thing. It was special in a way they probably didn’t fully recognize yet. The tradition might have started due to Harper’s loss, but something told him that it would continue for years to come. Her mom and dad practically beamed as the girls batted insults and memories back and forth. It was a welcoming space to be in.

He wondered if maybe it wasn’t too late to do something similar with his own family. They didn’t all live in the same area, but possibly they could make an effort to get together three or four times a year. He had no skills in the kitchen, of course, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t start the tradition once he moved back home. Potluck at Nick’s house.

He smiled into his wineglass as he imagined the outcome. Probably four bags of chips, a store-bought tray of some sort of meat, and whatever Nate decided to prepare. Nate was the only legitimate cook among the boys, and Dani had pretty much given up kitchen duties after handling it all herself for years. Of course, Gloria would be good for something.

But still, maybe it would be better to hold it at the farm with Gloria in charge. It was time to move beyond what that house used to be, and his dad and Gloria had already made good headway in that direction. It was no longer simply the house his mom had lived in.

Chastity started a new story, her hands waving as she got into the guts of it, telling everyone about the time that Harper talked Chastity’s boyfriend into jumping off of Harper’s favorite diving cliff. “If I remember correctly”—Chastity turned to Nick—“you once saw her jump off that very spot.”

Nick stared at Chastity, unsure what to say. How did she . . .

She laughed. “Oh yeah, we all knew you had a crush on her. I was out there that day, too—though you probably never saw me, given that you were only looking at Harp.”