Montana Rose (15 page)

Rosie liked her. And miracle of miracles, Harriet seemed to be beginning to like her. It wasn’t that the sow wasn’t fully prepared to kill Cassie at the drop of the hat. That was a given considering a mama sow’s temperament. But Cassie was slopping Harriet every day and staying well away from the little pink piglets, and as her part of keeping the peace, Harriet had quit rushing the fence, woofing and snarling with her jaws gaping.

It was a start.

The chickens didn’t seem to care about her one way or the other, but Cassie had learned chickens were close to the dumbest creatures God had ever put forth upon the earth. Red said they were only close to the dumbest because he’d worked with sheep before. He said sheep were just waiting, watching for any possible opportunity to kill themselves with their stupidity, which was the reason he didn’t have any—they’d all died.

Even Buck was starting to like her. Sort of.

Red had given her riding lessons every morning that week, and she was learning that there was no great trick to riding a calm, well-broken horse. A horse was a living creature, though, with a mind of its own, and Buck had boosted Cassie out of the saddle once. When she’d fallen, Red had almost had a heart attack, and he’d declared no more riding until after the baby was born. But Cassie had wanted to continue, and in the end he let her ride, but he insisted on leading Buck every step of the way. She was now riding him twice a day down to the creek when Red took him for water.

She was also leading Rosie down, which Red let her do completely alone, and she had taken over the milking and most of the barnyard chores so Red was free to ride herd on his cattle. Red acted like Cassie was his dream come true because she was helping him so much.

Cassie had also found a barn cat that had the temperament of a rat rather than a pet. The cat slinked around the edges of the farm, only showing itself by accident. Cassie started putting out milk for it, but Red said not to bother. It lived on mice and that was how it should be. Cassie sneaked and put milk out anyway. The tiny defiance made her almost giddy. The milk was now gone every morning, but the cat still wasn’t a lick friendly.

Rosie chose that moment to kick the bucket of milk right into Cassie’s face. Dodging the hooves, Cassie fell backward onto her seat.

Red was just entering the barn. He rushed over to her side and stepped between her and Rosie. “Maybe it’s time for you to give up some of your outside chores, Cass. Now that the babe’s getting closer, you oughta be more careful. I think—”

Covered with milk, Cassie wailed, “You think I’m too stupid to learn anything.”

Cassie clamped her mouth shut on the criticism of her husband. How had she dared to speak to him like that? She thought of Belle and her straight talk. Belle would certainly criticize if she thought it was deserved. But she certainly wouldn’t whine.

“Now, Cass honey.” Red slid his hands under her arms and lifted her to her feet. “Stupid’s got nothing to do with it. Think how long it’d take me to teach the chickens to milk Rosie.”

Cassie was on the verge of tears, but the image Red drew made her giggle instead.

“You’re much better at this than our hens would be.” He pulled a handkerchief out of his back pocket and swiped at the milk dripping off her head. “It’s all in who you compare yourself to. From now on, if you’re feeling like you’re bad at something, pick the chickens to compare yourself to, ’cuz you’ll come out of that contest feeling brilliant.”

“So you’ll let me keep doing it?”

Red hesitated. “For a fact, my ma milked the cows up to the day I was born, or so I’ve been told.”

“Then it must be all right.”

Red shrugged. “I s’pect. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Red’s eyes got an intent look that made Cassie think back to the day he’d kissed her. His gaze went to her lips for an instant and Cassie wondered if there was still milk on her face. But if her face was dirty, she didn’t want him noticing. Besides, she had to focus on her real goal—protecting one of her beloved chores.

Turning quickly back to Rosie before Red changed his mind, she crouched down and wedged her head into Rosie’s flank. Locking her knees tight around the bucket, Cassie went back to work and got a few more cups of milk out of the little cow.

Red stayed nearby. Then, when Cassie was done, he went to let Rosie out in the pasture and Cassie went back to the house.

Yes, Rosie and Buck and Harriet liked her. But none of that mattered a bit because Red didn’t like her. Oh, he was nice as could be to her. But he’d never come close to grabbing her and kissing her again like he had last Sunday.

Cassie didn’t know what she’d done.

Saturday at noon, Red prayed with an unusual fervency over the dinner, asking for God’s leading about whether they should go to town or not.

Cassie decided he must have gotten an answer because he got up from the table as soon as he was done eating. “I want to check the cattle. Then I’ll do evening chores early while you clean up in here.”

“Let me see to Rosie and the other livestock, Red. I did it fine for the last two days, didn’t I?”

She could see Red waffling. He was so sweet to her, always wanting to be right on hand in case she needed help. He was letting her do nearly every chore she considered hers now, but the man did like to hover. She was surprised when he gave a quick jerk of his head in agreement.

“Milk Rosie, feed Harriet and the chickens. There might be a few eggs by now. Don’t water anything. I don’t want you lifting those heavy pails. And you can’t go to the stream yet with Rosie. Leave that for me.”

“I’ll handle it.”

“C–a–s–s?” Red drew her name out until it was nearly three full syllables. “Promise me.”

Cass almost smiled even though she was pretty frustrated. He was getting to know she had a knack for not lying while she let him believe something that wasn’t quite true. That had worked well on Griff. “All right. I promise.”

“I’ll be back before you’re done with everything anyway. And Cass...” He waited until he had her full attention.

“Yes, Red?”

“Be careful of Harriet.”

“Yes, Red.”

He headed for the door then stopped and turned around. “And don’t let Rosie kick you. Remember if you push hard...”

“With my head against her flank,” Cassie talked over the top of his familiar instructions, “she can’t get any force behind her kick.” Cassie nodded. “Yes, Red. I’ll remember.”

Red gave one approving jerk of his head, reached for his hat, and put it on his head. “And don’t leave any gates open. None. Remember the inner and outer gate for the chickens, and for heaven’s sake, don’t open Harriet’s—”

“No gates,” Cassie interrupted, then realized how rude she’d been to cut him off like that. “I won’t forget, Red.”

Red hesitated.

Cassie knew he was thinking up something new to be worried about.

He reached for the door latch then dropped his hand away. “And if anything goes wrong, or something comes up that we haven’t talked about, don’t try and figure out what you should do. Just wait...”

Cassie stood beside the table with her hands folded in front of her and tried to reassure him. “I’ll just quit. I’ll leave anything I’m not sure about to you.”

This time Red got the door open, but he turned back and his face was really grim.

Cassie had a feeling this warning was more important than the others and maybe it was the cause of all the others.

“If anyone should ride up ... well, it’s always a good idea to be careful.”

“Anyone? You mean like Belle might come over again?” Cassie had enjoyed her visit with the strange woman.

“I was thinking ... Wade...” Red’s voice died away.

Cassie could tell he’d been recollecting Wade and his threats and wasn’t sure if he should worry her about it. She’d been thinking about Wade, too, and not wanting to worry Red about it. “Wade? You think he’ll come?”

“I don’t know, Cass.” Then Red said gravely, “I think he might. Sometime.”

She hadn’t wanted to tell Red this because he already watched over her so, but almost against her will she said, “He used to show up at Griff ’s house when Griff went to town. I—he never did anything but talk, but I knew it was deliberate, him coming out when I was alone the way he did. He must have been watching. Except Griff had a routine, so maybe Wade just knew Griff went to town every Wednesday.”

Red’s brow furrowed and he dragged his hat off his head and clutched the brim.

Cassie didn’t like to be the one to start putting worry lines in Red’s face.

She liked his face very much just the way it was.

Red knew that dead coyote hadn’t been an accident. “If he ever shows up here, I want you to go into our bedroom and go into the tunnel.”

If a man would poison an animal, he’d hurt a woman. He tossed his hat at the peg, not even bothering to check if he’d hung it up, and grabbed her by the wrist. “Let’s find a good hiding place for you.”

Red didn’t tell Cassie somebody had poisoned his water hole. But maybe he should.

He hated to scare her. But if Wade had bothered her when she was married to Griff, then she was scared already and rightly so.

He’d found two dead coyotes and a dead grouse in one of the water holes he’d built. And there were no buts about that. Those animals had been poisoned and Red could read signs. Wade’s horse’s hooves were around that pond.

He started dragging her into the tunnel, but she pulled hard enough to stop him. “Red,” Cassie interrupted his musing, “let’s think it over while we’re in town. Wade won’t come if you’re close by. At least he never did at Griff ’s. And if he does, well, I’ll find a spot to hide.” Cassie looked over her shoulder at the crevice in the back of the bedroom. “I’ve explored it and I could duck into a couple of little nooks. He’d never find me. We’ll pick out a good spot together when we’re back from town.”

Red looked from the door to Cassie to the dark slit in their wall that led into the bowels of the earth. Cassie’s plan was full of holes. Wade could find her if he took a lantern from the kitchen or if Cassie made a noise at the wrong time.

She walked over to Red and laid her hand on his chest. “You take good care of me, Red. The tunnel will work if need be. And anyway, you never go off and leave me, not for long. It’s not like it was at Griff ’s.”

“You always call it Griff ’s.”

“What?”

“Your old home. You call it Griff ’s. You call everything Griff ’s. Doesn’t it strike you as odd that you say Griff ’s carriage, Griff ’s horses, Griff ’s house?”

“Well, it was all Griff ’s. It doesn’t seem so unusual to say that.” Cassie kept looking at the tunnel.

Red wanted her to hear what he was saying. In frustration he took hold of her elbow and turned her to face him.

Her forehead furrowed and she tried to answer him again. “It doesn’t mean anything. They were Griff ’s, mine, both of ours. What difference does it make what word I use?”

“I think it does make a difference. This is your home, Cass. I don’t want you to say, ‘Red’s house’ or ‘Red’s cow.’ It’s all
ours.
I want you to think of it that way. I wonder if you really thought of the house you shared with Griff as yours.”

Red could see the protest forming on Cassie’s tongue. Before she could speak, he said, “In a way, since it was all your money, inherited from your ma and pa, that house and everything in it was more yours than his. But you never thought of it that way. Why do you suppose that is?”

“I guess it was because Griff knew just what he wanted, and I didn’t care that much. He had such a clear idea of how our home should be built, how our furniture should be, how we should dress and conduct ourselves. He was a fine man to step in and take care of me like he did. And I ... well, I was so grateful to him, taking me ... all young and stupid and clumsy, and helping me grow into a woman who was worthy of him.”

“Worthy of...” Red almost shouted the words, then he cut them off.

“What is it, Red? I’m grateful to you, too. I didn’t mean I still want to be how Griff wanted. I want to be just how you want now. I’m trying to learn your ways.”

Red grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her up to within an inch of his face. A chill of fear flash across Cassie’s face and it made him sick to think of how she’d learned to fear a man’s anger.

“Red, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...”

She quit talking. Red watched the huge internal effort she made to keep her feelings from showing on her face. She battled with herself until a deep serene expression emerged from the turmoil. Griff had trained her well. He’d taught her that she could only be loved when she’d achieved that appearance of tranquility that made her look as perfect as a china doll.

She had hold of her composure now. “I will remember what you said and refer to this house as ours, Red. I can see why you wish it that way. I’ll try to call Griff ’s ... um, I mean my old house mine from now on. It was just a bad habit to say it the way I did. It won’t happen again.”

“Cass...” Red pulled her roughly into his arms and held her very close.

She began to apologize again. Then she slipped her hand between them and rested her fingers over her mouth.

Red looked at her hand then back at her eyes. He could see that she was fully prepared to stand here until he’d said his piece. He glanced back at her fingers, and some of his irritation faded as he watched those fingers touch her pink lips. For just a few seconds he forgot what they were talking about. At last he tore his eyes away from her mouth. “If you disagree with me, you can say so. I want you to speak your mind.”

“Yes, Red,” she said from behind her fingertips.

“And you don’t always have to say, ‘Yes, Red.’”

“Yes, Red ... I mean, I’m glad to mind you. It’s a woman’s place, after all.”

Red clenched his jaw tight until he saw a shiver of fear pass through her. Red relaxed his hold on her shoulders and rubbed her arms, trying to reassure her that she was safe with him. No matter what he said, she just agreed so pleasantly, it could turn a man’s head if he wasn’t careful. But he didn’t want an obedient, frightened china doll. He wanted a flesh-and-blood woman. “Ah, Cass, can’t you hear me?”

“I hear you fine. You just said—”

“Don’t you get my meaning, though? I don’t want you to ever be afraid to speak up. I—I wouldn’t ever hurt you, Cass. I mean ... I’d never raise my hand to you.”

“If you wanted to do that, if I’d done wrong, well, a man has a right—”

“No man has a right to hit a woman,” Red roared.

She stepped back a pace before she found that blasted composure and stood her ground, obviously awaiting whatever resulted from Red’s anger.

“Stop doing that.” Red grabbed her and shook her again, but not hard, considering how furious he was.

“Doing what, Red? Just tell me what I’m doing wrong and I’ll stop.”

“Stop that. Stop agreeing with me all the time. If I yell at you, it’s because I lose my temper. That’s
my
sin,
not
yours. I would never strike you, and if Griff did, then he was
wrong.
There’s no excuse for a man treating a woman like that.”

Cassie clung to the appearance of serenity.

Red inhaled and took a step back from her. He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck several times and stared at the floor. Finally he looked up at her. “Okay, you want to obey me? Then here’s the rule. I order you to tell me what you’re thinking. Every time I say something, I want the truth from you, even if the truth is, ‘Red, I think you’re as dumb as a post and as smelly as a polecat.’ I want you to start telling me what you want. I want you to say at least once a day, ‘Do it yourself,’ or, ‘Quit bossing me around,’ or, ‘Eat it or throw it out to Harriet, but I’m not making you something else.’”

Cassie’s eyes widened at the horrible things Red was ordering her to say. “I could never do that.”

“Oh, so you’re disobeying me then?” Red crossed his arms and glared at her. “I thought it was a wife’s place to
obey.
And I like a
mouthy,
rude
woman with her own ideas and her own emotions. I want you to have a coat as prickly as a porcupine and a hide as thick as a buffalo and a spine as solid as the Rocky Mountains. I don’t want you doing a single thing you don’t want to do. I can’t be happily married to a woman who doesn’t nag me a little. All this polite, ‘Yes, Red,’ and ‘Whatever you say, Red,’ is making me
crazy.
You work on it and I’ll tell you when you’re finally doing it enough.”

She clamped her hand harder over her mouth.

Red grabbed her hand and pulled it away. “You can’t sass me when you’re holding your mouth closed.”

“I ... I...” A tiny giggle escaped Cassie’s lips.

The sound eased some of Red’s frustrated anger, but he continued in the same domineering tone. “And I like laughing, too. Big, loud belly laughs. I’m an unhappily married man if you don’t laugh every time you take a notion to.”

“You want me to call you a polecat?” Cassie giggled a little louder.

“It’s an order.” Red said it sternly, but he didn’t try to keep the pleasure from shining out of his eyes when he heard her laugh.

“I don’t think I can do it right now. Um ... call you a ... a polecat. I’ll have to work up to it.” Cassie giggled again.

Red smiled at her then sobered. “I don’t know what things were like between you and Griff, but I’m not like him. I want a woman to stand beside me, not trail along behind. That was Griff ’s way, but it was wrong. I don’t want you to be afraid of me. And maybe if you sass me a little, even if I get mad, you’ll see that you can trust me to never hurt you. I promise it before you and before God. I want you to believe me.”

The fear returned to Cassie’s expression, but this time Red didn’t think she was afraid of him. He thought she was afraid of the whole idea that Griff was wrong to control her so completely.

“Red, if you don’t want to step in and tell me what to do, now that Griff ’s gone...” Cassie’s voice grew so weak he could barely hear her. “Then who is going to?”

The last of Red’s anger died away, replaced with a deep compassion unlike any he’d ever known. “I reckon you’re a woman grown.” He laid his hand on her belly. “You’ve got a babe on the way who’s gonna need a ma correcting him and teaching him right from wrong. I saw you reading Norm’s mortgage note at the bank. Do you know how few of the men out here can read? You’re smart, Cass. And God gave you a conscience like anyone else. You can just take over the job and tell yourself what to do.”

“I don’t have much practice at that,” she whispered.

“Well, it’s time to start getting some, Cass honey. Now I have to go do chores and check the herd. We’re gonna be late to town as it is. We can talk on the way, unless you fall over asleep again.”

Red saw a war taking place within her. He saw the fear and excitement battle for control. He didn’t think it was a battle he could fight for her.

Finally, fear overcame the first meager surge of self-rule. She went back to the meek little Cassie he’d wanted to banish. “I’ve been getting better with Buck. Do—do you want me to ride him by myself this time, or will we still ride double?”

Red hesitated, dissatisfied with the results of their talk. But he didn’t know what to say and he didn’t have time to say it if he did. And he was afraid if he opened his mouth again he might just blurt out something like, “I’m completely in love with you.”

Finally he plunked his hat on his head and said, “One hour. And don’t forget what I said about Wade.” He ran like a yellow-bellied coward out the door.

Cassie watched him go, thinking how much different he was than Griff.

She’d controlled herself because Griff had never spared her a punishment because of apologies or tears or pleading. In fact, his rebukes were more stinging if she carried on. But in the last year especially, if she could become the china doll, if she could face him calmly and let him do his scolding until he was finished speaking his mind, he’d often “spare the rod” as he put it. She’d forgotten for a bit those hard-taught lessons of Griff ’s. She knew if she’d only be a good enough wife, Red would call her sweet names again. She vowed in her heart to try harder to please him, to learn faster, to take more of the burden from his shoulders.

Cassie thought she had him figured out now. She might even try just a little to sass him once in a while, because although she could tell he’d been joking, Red was a man who liked to laugh, and if she did it just right, she thought he’d like a little more show of just the right kind of spirit from her.

And Red respected work. She had to work harder. It was all going to be fine. She was sure of it. She’d keep listening and learning and working hard, and after a time, maybe she could work her way straight into Red’s heart.