Montana Secrets (15 page)

Chin up, Grace hesitantly made her way to the table to set the treats in front of Seth's niece. She'd turned to step away when Seth caught her hand.

She bent, her voice low as she warned, “You're going to start the gossip mills. Did you need something?”

“Just you.” He chuckled softly. “No, don't run off. Stay with me. Please, Grace.”

Her cheeks flushed with warmth when the man beside Seth grinned. “Well now, I can certainly see why you'd want her to stay. Introduce us, Seth. Or I guess I should say, reintroduce us.”

Seth winked at her again and squeezed her hand in encouragement. “Grace, Phil Estes. He graduated a year behind you and Jake. Phil, Grace Korbit. Mind your manners, Phil.”

The heat in her cheeks deepened. Seth's possessive tone was unmistakable, and if she sensed it, she figured everyone around them did, too. “Nice to see you, Phil,” she said, holding out her free hand. Phil grasped her fingers in his and gave them a hearty shake, returning the greeting.

“Well, now, of all the things to get through to
Seth and make him come to his senses, I'd say you've done it.”

She laughed awkwardly. “You're giving me way too much credit. Seth got tired of me yelling at him and decided getting better is the only way to get rid of me. That's all.”

“If you say so.” The man paused long enough to take a sip of coffee, then muttered something under his breath. “Hey, Seth, I almost forgot. Jake called me a while ago. Said if I saw you to tell you that you might want to head home soon.”

Grace glanced at Seth and frowned. “Do you think Maura's okay?”

Seth nodded. “I'm sure it's nothing major, but maybe we'd better go.” He offered Phil his hand. “Been nice talking to you. Come see me this week. We need to work on some things. Important things.”

“Will do.” Phil slapped Seth on the shoulder. “It's good to see you out again. Take care.”

“Do we gotta go home?”

“Yes,” Seth answered, his tone firm. “No arguing.”

“Will you ride me to the truck?”

Seth told Lexi to hold on as he backed up and performed a wheelie, causing his audience to smile and laugh at Lexi's squeal of delight. Smiling herself, Grace murmured a general goodbye and followed Seth and Lexi out the door.

In the truck, Lexi sang “Jingle Bells” over and over and eased the strain of having to make conversation with Seth. Before Grace knew it, she'd turned down the ranch's long driveway. In a matter of moments, their “date” would be over, and it would be time for the good-night kiss.

“Can we go to the cabin? We haven't been there forever,” Lexi pleaded. “Please, Uncle Seff? Please?”

“We need to get home, Lex.”

“But what about our present for Mommy and Daddy?”

Grace glanced at Seth and saw him sigh. “I guess we do need to get it, don't we? Christmas is coming up fast. But we can't stay long, Lex. It's past your bedtime. We'll get the picture and leave, got it?”

Grace heard a forlorn agreement from the back seat and eased off the gas as she turned up the drive to the cabin. They hit a couple of shallow holes and the truck rocked. She pulled up to the tiny, picturesque cabin and shivered as she remembered the night Roy had found her alone.

His comments tonight were equally frightening, and she knew she had to do something about him, but what? If Roy suspected anything about her past, if he really knew how Earl had “disciplined” her, it was possible others did, too.

No one knows. Roy's playing on your fears. He only knows Earl hit you, so what?

That had to be it. But if not, how would she face people? It was stupid and childish, and even though she knew Earl's abuse wasn't her fault, she was embarrassed and ashamed. Seth was such a good man, had always been popular in the small community. How would it look if the truth got out about her? She didn't want to do anything,
be
someone, who'd make Seth look bad. Especially not when he was finally getting his life back. She couldn't do that to him. Not when she cared for him enough to want better for him.

“Let's go!” Lexi cried impatiently.

“All right,” Seth muttered with a laugh. “Give me a second to get situated.”

He lifted his chair from behind his seat, dropped it to the ground outside, and made the transfer with ease. Lexi hopped out after him and ran to the door while Grace lagged behind, hugging herself for warmth.

The door squeaked open without the benefit of the flower-pot's key, but before she could comment on that, Grace saw Seth trying to maneuver the single step leading inside. She rushed forward and grabbed the handles of his chair, giving him the extra balance to make the shift up.

“Thanks.”

She nodded dazedly, wincing when Lexi flipped a switch and light flooded the cabin.

The child grinned from ear to ear. “See? I told you Aunt Arie liked to paint.”

Grace forced a smile, inordinately glad she'd been prepared for this moment. “I can see that. They're very beautiful.” She walked over to stare at the charcoal drawing of Seth in chaps and a Stetson. Drawn to it much as she'd been the first time she'd seen it. “Your aunt was quite talented.”

Seth scowled. “Yeah, she was something else,” he agreed, his tone low and…reverent?

Yes, she decided. Most definitely reverent. Grace glanced at Seth and found him fingering a paint-brush, his face drawn in pain-filled lines of sorrow.

“When I grow up I want to be just like her,” Lexi stated. “An artist.”

A muscle twitched in Seth's jaw, his face a mask of grief before he tossed his head in an angry jerk and headed to the back of the cabin.

“Five minutes,” he said gruffly over his shoulder. “Then we leave. I'll get the picture.”

The little girl scampered up the stairs without knocking or bumping the many paintings, and Grace shifted from foot to foot, painfully uncomfortable witnessing Seth's obvious distress.

What could she possibly offer Seth? A truckload of emotional baggage? A random fear of the dark?
Nightmares?
Seth deserved better. More than she could ever give him being who she was.

Lexi peered over the banister. “Somebody's been here. The bed's messed up.”

Seth frowned. “The painting isn't where it used to be, either. Get down here, Lex. Now. It's time to go, anyway.”

The little girl stuck her lip out in a pout but did as she was told, and Grace watched her to make sure she managed the narrow staircase without falling.

“Want me to go look?” she asked hesitantly.

Seth rubbed a hand over his face and shrugged. “Yeah. The painting is of Lexi. It's a big one. Lexi is wearing wings like an angel.”

She knew exactly which painting but couldn't say or else let it be known she'd been there before. Grace slowly climbed the stairs, but paused at the top. The bed had indeed been slept in, the covers hanging off the side and the pillow indented. Maura must have come to the cabin to get away, since she hadn't had any luck convincing Jake to move in now that they'd gotten permission from Seth.

She carefully removed the painting of Lexi from the wall, and the act put her face-to-face with Arie's talent. With her ghost.

“Grace?”

“Coming.” Shoving aside her insecurities, she
hurried down the stairs, the frames on the treads rattling with every step.

“Something wrong?”

She shook her head and urged Lexi out of the cabin, helping the little girl into the extended cab of the truck and placing the framed portrait in the back with her. She turned only to find Seth behind her.

“I—I forgot to help you down the step. Sorry.”

“No problem.” His gaze probed hers. “What's wrong? You're shaking.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, fully conscious of the fact she couldn't battle Arie's memory, much less Earl's. How could she have been so stupid as to think she could? “It's nothing. Let's go.”

Back at the house she followed Seth up the ramp and onto the porch, carrying Lexi in her arms. She made her way around the kitchen table and through to the family room when she stopped in her tracks.

“Merry Christmas,” Brent said, grinning.

J
AKE SNAGGED
L
EXI FROM
her arms. “We've been waiting for you. Come on, Lex. See you all in the morning. Brent, bud, we'll catch up tomorrow.”

“Sure thing,” Brent answered, still grinning at her. He held his arms open. “Well? Aren't you going to say anything? I thought you'd be pleased to see me.”

“What? Oh, I am!” She flew across the room and wrapped her arms around her little brother, laughing as he picked her up off her feet. “I am!” she repeated, hugging him before he put her down. She took in his bright green eyes and mischievous grin. “I'm also surprised! How'd you get here? When?”

Brent laughed. “A plane, a little while ago, and you can thank Seth,” he added. “I sold one of my inventions and called because I wanted to see you, and Seth invited me to stay.”

Grace didn't know what to say. To do. So she did the only thing she could. She untangled herself from Brent, retraced her steps across the floor and bent
to kiss Seth on the cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered, eyes open on his as her mouth grazed his stubbled jaw. A shiver raced through her at the contact. “I…we haven't spent Christmas together in
years.
”

“I know.” Seth smiled as she drew back, and he thumbed a tendril of hair away from her cheek, slid his palm around her neck and brought her the couple of inches it took to press his mouth briefly to hers in a kiss full of want and need and—

“Want me to leave you two alone?”

Sputtering, Grace pulled away and glanced down at Seth in embarrassment, only to find a broad smile covering his face. “Just getting my good-night kiss. Brent, nice to see you again. Jake and Maura get you settled in all right?”

“Yeah, it's great. Thanks a lot for letting me stay.”

“No problem. Let us know if you need anything. I'll let you catch up with Grace and see you in the morning.” Seth squeezed the fingers of her hand and brought them to his lips for a kiss. “Good-night, Grace. Thanks for the date. I'll, uh, see you later.”

Seth spun himself around and headed down the hall. Awkward silence filled the room until Seth's bedroom door closed. Grace turned to face her brother.

Brent waited a moment, then asked, “You two are dating again?”

“N-Not exactly—”

“You're blushing.”

“It's warm in here.”

She got a cheeky grin in response. “Come on. Give it up. You came here to help him, you went out on a date with him, you kissed him. That's dating.”

Her mouth trembled despite her attempt to control her emotions. “Oh, Brent.” She dropped down onto the nearby couch and buried her face in her hands with a moan. “I'm so confused.”

Brent sat on the couch beside her. “Talk to me.”

“Where do I begin?” She leaned against him and shook her head. “Brent, he's a
patient.
”

“Who also used to be your boyfriend.”

She pulled away far enough to see his face. “We didn't date long before we left North Star—”

“Long enough. Besides, you've told me you're getting tired of the traveling all over the country. Sounds to me like you're in the mood to settle down somewhere and fall in love.”

“I never said anything about falling in love.”

That got a laugh out of him. “You don't have to,” he said as he squeezed her. “It's written all over your face when you look at him. Deny it all you want, but you've always loved him, Grace. Any idiot could see that.”

“You're wrong.”

“Yeah? Maybe. I guess it would be tough with him in a chair now and all.”

Her jaw dropped and she yanked away. “
That has nothing to do with it!
Brent, how dare you say something like that.”

He shrugged. “Hey, it's a legitimate statement. After caring for patients all these years, you have to admit it would be tough to come home to it to boot.”

Her temper deflated at his honesty. “It's not that.”

“Then what's bothering you?”

It took her a moment to find the words. “Can I ask you something?”

“What are brothers for?”

She stared into the flames. “Does it bother you, what Earl said? I mean, do you constantly have him in your head telling you how worthless and lazy and pathetic—”

“Yeah,” Brent said quietly. “He's there. How can he not be since he destroyed our childhood? But I tagged along with you to enough counseling sessions to know we can't let him destroy our whole lives, Grace. Is that what's bothering you about Seth?”

She hesitated, then shrugged. “Maybe… Some,” she admitted slowly. “I know it's wrong and stupid and childish, but how can I possibly compare to his wife?”

“You can't,” Brent informed her bluntly. “And you shouldn't be trying to.”

“I know, but…”

Brent took her hand in his. “I'm sorry for asking you to stay, Grace. After Earl found out you weren't his, you took Mom's place as his punching bag and—”

“He hit you, too,” she murmured. “And where would we have gone? At fourteen and ten, our options were limited. If anyone's to blame, it's Earl. I know that, but believing it sometimes is hard.”

“Why?”

She lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “You've never wondered if you weren't good enough? If maybe that's why he…he hit us and stuff? Never wondered if we'd only been better Mom would've come back?”

Brent looked away, and in that moment, Grace wished she'd never spoken her thoughts aloud.

“Yeah, I have. But what are we supposed to do, Grace? Stop living? I want things out of life, good things. A home, family. If I let them take that away from me, I'm letting two people who didn't deserve to be parents take away my chance.”

Brent stared at her, his gaze direct and searching. “Consider dating Seth as your chance to put the past to rest and move on,” he said. “Seth's a nice guy and you've known Jake a long time, so you've got a solid basis for comparison. They're nothing like Earl.”

“I know that.”

“Then why not go for it? Let Seth help you get Earl out of your head once and for all.”

 

A
CRY PIERCED THE NIGHT
, frightened and full of pain. Seth sat up, grabbed his chair and swung into it. Grace cried out a second time before he got himself situated and the door open to wheel himself through. She hadn't had a nightmare in a while and he'd begun to hope their midnight talks were helping her heal.

“No. No, don't!” she whimpered.

“Grace?” Seth raced to her as fast as he could, but she was in the middle of the large bed and he couldn't reach her. He transferred out of the wheelchair and onto the mattress beside her, hating that it took him so long. “Grace, honey, wake up.”

She flung her arm, fist closed, toward him.
“Don't!”

Seth grabbed hold of her hand. “You're dreaming, sweetheart. It's all right, it's just a dream.” He propped himself up with an elbow, one hand clasping hers, the other brushing her damp, tangled hair off her face. Her skin was soft, silky smooth, but wet with tears and sweat.

His breath lodged in his lungs. Earl Korbit was dead, but he wished him dead a hundred times over. A thousand. How could a man rape a woman? A
child.

Grace jerked upright with a startled shriek. She yanked on the hand he held and glared at him with furious, sleep-glazed eyes. “No!”

“Sweetheart, it's okay. It's me, Seth. It was a dream. Just a dream, that's all.”

Slowly her confusion cleared and she crumpled. “Seth?”

He reached out and gently tucked her hair behind her ear before wiping away the first in a stream of tears. She'd left the light on in her bathroom, the door mostly closed, and in the muted light he could see how badly she trembled. Unable to do anything more, he opened his arms.

Grace dove into his embrace and he smoothed his hand over her, the tense muscles of her back, her shoulders, neck. Held her close. Sweet, amazing Grace. His saving grace.

Minutes ticked by, the silence broken by her sobs and ragged breathing slowly returning to normal. After a long, long while she raised her head. Seth stroked her cheek with his thumb, saw her gaze lower to his mouth. He didn't move, didn't blink. Barely breathed as Grace leaned toward him and pressed her mouth to his. Her eyes were open, searching, as her tongue touched his. Then she lowered her lashes and deepened the kiss, her desperation to forget the past lending a frantic edge.

He understood the need to forget. The desire to
lose himself in something or someone. Whatever it took to make the pain go away.

Grace whimpered, the tiny sound caught between their mouths. Her hands ran over his bare chest, lingered on the muscles of his arms and squeezed as though she liked the feel of him. She tore her mouth from his and stared at him, and in that moment something shifted. A wall fell right before his eyes.

“This is—you can't—can't be comfortable,” she said shyly, biting her lip as she shifted on the bed to give him more room.

“Help me with my legs,” he urged, for once not minding that she did indeed have to help him. When he lay on her bed with his back against the pillowed headboard, her eyes widened ever so slightly when she saw his erection tenting the material of his flannel pants.

“Whatever you want to do, honey. We'll only go as far as you allow,” he promised, even as he prayed for strength. He wanted her now. Right now. But he'd find a way to hold himself back. “I'll hold you all night long if you want. Nothing else. You call the shots.”

He swallowed as tears filled her eyes once more. Gritted his teeth when she fought so hard to hold them back. She'd been brutalized and hurt and now that someone offered her tenderness and love, she didn't know what to make of it. Didn't know how to react.

“I want m-more,” she whispered. “But I don't—I don't know what will happen later. You know, when…”

“Neither do I,” he murmured, reaching out to stroke her cheek. “But maybe together we can figure it out as it happens.”

She wet her lips, sniffling, attempting to smile. “Okay.”

Okay.
What a simple word. Grace wanted him as much as he wanted her, but there was an extreme possibility she'd panic and run. Just as there was an extreme possibility he couldn't maintain an erection long enough to get through the act.

He told himself that whatever happened, happened, that he'd trust in the man upstairs and let nature take its course. He opened his arms. “Come here.”

Grace slid closer, one last remaining tear trickling down her cheek as she lowered herself to his side. Seth caught the tear with a fingertip and brought it to his mouth to taste, conscious that she watched him. But when he took her pain inside himself, he wasn't prepared for her reaction. She surged toward him and followed his finger with her lips.

She kissed him. Wild and heady, urgent. Grace kissed as if she was trying to outdistance her memories. Deep, passionate, sensual matings of lips and teeth and tongue.

She tore her mouth from his and worked her way lower, exploring his chest and shoulders, his stomach, gently biting the skin below his belly button.

He couldn't have stopped the growl that escaped his chest if his life depended on it because the sensation there was so powerful, maybe more so than before his accident.

“Grace. Ah, honey—”

Liking the sound of his husky, desire-filled voice, Grace bit lightly again, relishing his groan. She sat up on the bed next to him and, hands trembling, pulled her nightgown over her head, avoiding his gaze as she let the material drop to the floor.

She waited, wanting to memorize every moment. Every kiss and caress. Every look that told her Seth's words weren't platitudes, but true. Seth made her feel beautiful and bold, capable and carefree, and she wanted more than anything to make love with him.

As if reading her thoughts, Seth smiled a wickedly sensual smile that stole her breath. He lifted a work-roughened hand to her waist and ever so slowly smoothed his knuckles up her body to the curve of her breast, around and around the tip. She inhaled as deeply as her burning lungs would allow, the sensations buffeting her senses.

“You okay?”

Oh, yes. A sound escaped her, one that probably
should've mortified her seeing as how it was so revealing but—

“I'll take that as a yes. Let me taste you, sweetheart.”

Her lashes were heavy, her body tingling and hot. She parted her lips in an attempt to draw in more air, but it didn't help. Seth wanted her closer—she wanted to be closer—but the way he sat leaning against the headboard meant she had to kneel on the bed beside him to be at the right height or else straddle his waist and—

His fingers pressed against the base of her spine above her panties and urged her up, up. Then he leaned forward until his mouth caught her breast. Grace shut her eyes with a moan as every tug of his lips sent a stab of hunger through to her very core.

He guided her leg over his stomach. Broad hands massaged her back, lower, and under the elastic of her panties to cup her bottom. She gasped, held her breath as Seth gently ground her against him. He suckled harder and suddenly the gentleness in his hands wasn't enough. She needed more. More pressure, more touching, more Seth. When the sensations became too much, Grace pulled away and moved backward until she eased the length of him beneath her. Just
there.

The past reared itself, tried to intrude, but she determinedly shoved it away.

This was Seth.
Seth.

He groaned and leaned his head back against the headboard. “Ah, honey, we've got to slow down or I'm going to—”

She shifted, caught him just the right way and trapped him between her thighs. In response Seth pulled her mouth to his and plunged his tongue inside. His hesitation, his overly protective gentleness was gone, and her body hummed with excitement. With love.